DC EARTH 17
JUST JOKER BEING JOKER

It was such a nice day for Buddy Standler, an amateur chef. It started when he received a very important letter. The letter in question put him in an extremely good mood, the reason for which he couldn't help but share with is wife. "Michelle, you never believe whom sent me a letter…" he said.

His wife eyed him curiously. "Well, spit it out then!" she said.

"Big Belly Burger. They want to invest in my sauce recipe. If it works out, all our financial troubles will be over." Buddy said happily.

Michelle now shared Buddy's incredible good mood. "Honey, that's amazing."

"I know…Oh dear, they want to meet tomorrow already? I need to rent a tux, I need to prepare…I don't have a speech or…" Buddy said, now becoming incredibly nervous.

"Nothing to worry dear, just relax, it will be fine. I'll be there at your side." Michelle assured Buddy, whom calmed down, and hugged her. They had been struggling but soon it would all be in the past.

The next day, Buddy and Michelle were waiting at the Big Belly Burger business complex in Gotham. The blonde secretary called upon them: "Mr. Kerr is ready to see you."

"This is it…wish me luck, sweetheart!" Buddy said, kissing his wife and following the woman inside.

There the big boss, Mr. Kerr was waiting for him. He stood up and gave a flamboyant greeting: "Buddy, baby! Good of you to come. You and I really have to talk about your barbecue sauce recipe. Best I ever tasted. We have to put it on our menu." He said as he walked over, shook the hand of Buddy and patted his back.

"I am so glad you wanted to see me, Mr. Kerr. You don't know how happy I am to hear it." Buddy said with a smile.

"Oh, I think I know. And that is what going to make the next few hours really pleasant. But before we get to business, just one more thing." Mr. Kerr said as he then moved towards a closet, and opened it up.

Out of it fell a corpse, and Buddy felt his breathing stop for a few seconds. He noticed the corpse had a huge disturbing smile on his face. "W-w-what? Who?"

"That was the real head of Big Belly Burger's Gotham chapter." Mr. Kerr said as he took out a handkerchief and wiped his face with it, the normal skin color coming off, revealing the skin to be a really pale white underneath. He also took out his contact lenses, revealing some red maniacal-looking eyes and also removed a wig, revealing poison green hair underneath. "Guess who?" he said in a more disturbingly yet joyful tone.

"You're…the Joker!" Buddy realized.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" he said as he raised his hands. "And I'm so glad you came here, now it is time for the real show!" He snapped his fingers.

A bunch of people were carried in by Joker's clown-mask wearing henchmen, Michelle among them. "Buddy…" she muttered, fear evident in her voice.

"Michelle…let her go!" Buddy said.

Joker now had a look of fake exasperation. "'Let her go!' Why do people tell me that every time I hold someone hostage. You would think it is illegal or something…And it would be rude to leave before we get to the finale."

"What do you want with me? I am just a simple chef…" Buddy asked, fearful for his life and Michelle's.

"You really want to know?" Joker asked. "I was bored."

"Huh?" Buddy's brain stopped working as he couldn't process the answer.

"I plan big and phenomenal heists, plans and bouts of destruction, but those take time and honestly, in between executing those plans I can get bored rather easy; So from time to time I take a random number generator, use it to pick a random citizen and decide to screw with him or her for funsies." Joker explained.

Buddy couldn't believe it, that his life was about to be turned upside down and even ended because a madman was bored. "Why would you do that?"

"Why wouldn't I do that?" Joker said, as if that answered the question.

"Because it's wrong!" Buddy said.

"Right…wrong…such vague concepts. That's no fun. So I do whatever the hell I want. Because in the end it doesn't matter. Most people don't get it, but hey, I am ahead of the crowd, a bit too far if you ask me. Believe me or not, I was like you once, ignorant and urgh…sane. But then I had one bad day. The details on it are vague, as I remember it different sometimes. But hey, I love the multiple choice path, I even trademarked the entire speech." Joker said.

"Did you take over this entire building to just make a statement?" Buddy asked.

"Nah, you were just a nice bonus. I wanted to incorporate this together with my next plan." Joker said as he grabbed a few hamburgers. He took a bite of one and handed one to another hostage. "Eat it!" he said as he threatened the person with a gun.

The person had no choice, it was eating the burger or be shot. He took a bite, but shortly afterwards he started to laugh…laugh violently, he couldn't stop…It was getting more disturbing as he couldn't stop laughing and sounded like he was choking under his own laughter and fell down, dead with a huge smile on his face.

"Ta-da! This is my newest scheme. You have Happy Meals, Really Happy Meals, and So-Happy-I-Could-Die-Laughing-Meals! The secret is in the sauce." Joker said. His own burger also had Joker Venom in the Sauce, but he himself was immune and could finish it without problems.

"Oh yes that's the stuff. Nothing but a good bur-" Joker waved his arms around in joy, but accidentally pulled the trigger of his gun, shooting one of his own henchmen. "Oh, sorry Carl. That happens sometimes…Carl? Oh dear…oh well, that is one less goon I have to pay."

"You killed my cousin!" another henchman said. Joker just glared at him. "You know, I never liked him!" the henchman quickly added.

"Where was I? Oh yes, the So-Happy-I-Could-Die-Laughing-Meals. You know, after all these months watching you, I am bored with you already. You're not as fun as I thought you would be so...I am going to kill your wife right now!" Joker said as he aimed his gun at Michelle.

"Please don't! Do anything what you want to me, torture me, use me as a Guinea Pig for whatever twisted experiment you have in mind, but I beg of you, don't hurt my wife." Buddy begged.

"Ok." Joker said as he just shot Michelle in the head, splattering her brains across the floor and drenching it in red.

"Michelle!" Buddy said as he rushed at his wife, cradling her corpse and crying. "I thought you…"

"You said: 'Do anything what you want to me.' I wanted to hurt you, so I shot her. That must really hurt…It did hurt, did it?" Joker noted.

Buddy didn't even listen as he was just sobbing, his entire world destroyed. He didn't even budge or notice it when the Batman came in, take out the Joker and all of his goons and had them arrested by the GCPD, to him there was nothing left.

Later, at Arkham Asylum, the Batman and Jim Gordon were getting an explanation from Jeremiah Arkham. The doctor started explaining: "Poor Mr. Standler…another life Joker may have ruined beyond repair…We can't even let him out of his cell for lunch. Every time he sees a condiment, he starts throwing or spraying it around. Calls himself 'Condiment King'…"

As the Joker was led down the hallway he had overheard it. "Oh, I created another supervillain, not as good as Harley turned out but still! That's two! One more and I get a free Sundae! Or rather, I'll treat myself to a Sundae and kill everyone in the ice cream parlor after I'm done. Mh…Joker Venom Icecream!"

"Keep dreaming, you loony! Because I designed a new cell especially for you. You are not getting out of it this time." One of Arkham's staff said.

"You say that every time, Bolton, but I guess I'll humor you for now. Say…isn't the stress of failing to keep me in slowly getting to you? Don't feel like…snapping?" Joker asked the guard.

"You are not going to get me with your mind-games!" Bolton said.

"You may say so now…But I am for sure that I am getting that sundae in the future…" The Joker said as he started to laugh maniacally as he was led down the hall. Everyone whom heard that conversation didn't touch ice cream for a few months.

-

When Beast Boy looked at the file of the minor supervillain he and his team had just defeated two hours ago, he sighed. A look of sadness and sympathy in his eyes. "If I knew that was what he went through, I'd have taken him more seriously." he said as he put the file away. Even the silly ones were not always what they appear.

ARTIST'S COMMENTS

Starting off these drabbles, the Joker being Joker. The guy finding a random person to screw with and violently ruin his life is so something he would do.

Earth 17 is mostly going to be based on Young Justice, my fav dc cartoon and one of my overall fav cartoons. But only as a base, there are going to be a lot of additions from other media to form my own unique dc universe.

Aside from spelling errors and grammar I didn't change much, only added an ending; In young Justice, Beast Boy's outsider team fought COndiment King off-screen. To refer to that, Beast Boy decided to look up a bit of info on the enemy they fought and felt sorry for thinking the condiment king was a silly nut.

10 25 50 100 Nested Threaded Flat Oldest First Newest First