Chapter 1 - Memories

I started to read Fan fiction few months ago when the hiatus began, and I really miss Jay and Hailey in Chicago P.D. I then discovered CPDSVU's Romeo &Juliet. This fanfic definitely led my way to the fan fiction world. Later, I met taylorandmacster10's fictions. I can't help reading all her stories and waiting eagerly to read new ones. Today, when I was practicing Ed Sheeran's Photograph with my guitar, the framework of this story suddenly occurred to me. This will be a Jay whump story. I hesitated whether to write it down but finally I decided to write my own fan fictions here. Though I speak English every day, I am not an English native speaker, and this is also my first time to write a fan fiction. Please let me know if you find mistakes in expression. Thank you so much! Here we go!

* The timeline is about 2 years after 7x10; Some descriptions about his injury from 7x09 are set up by myself.

For a lot of people, November may be an awful month, the work and house staff makes them busier because it almost at the end of the year; the hiatus is always coming with a cliffhanger; the weather is getting colder and flu may come… As a mother of two 13-month-year-old twins, Hailey finds it totally a disaster when both of them catch the flu but the case she is working on becomes white-hot.

"Look! Who's here!" As soon as Hailey pushes the baby stroller into the station, Trudy shouts in surprise, but this makes Hailey feels a little bit more awkward.

"I'm sorry Sergeant, but they both catch the flu, Will and Natalie are on duty today, I can't leave them alone at home…"

"No need to explain, go upstairs, leave this little chuckle and this little princess to me, there are too much R18 upstairs." Trudy keeps focus on teasing her children, even doesn't raise her eyes a little. The children giggle as Trudy moves their hands. Their smile is almost 90% Jay-ish, especially the baby boy.

"Archie and Amelia actually, but thank you Sergeant." Hailey kisses the baby and steps towards the Intelligence.

"Hold on, Hailey. Any news about Jay? Is the case going to close?"

"No news is good news, isn't it?" Hailey sighs, "Almost there!"

"How long has it been?"

"Nearly 16 months." They both keep silent. In their career, they met many cases that take long time to investigate and are hard to solve, however, this one seems to be the longest one in Hailey's life because of Jay. She goes up to her office, opening her purse and staring the place where there used to be a photo inside it.

2 YEARS AGO

It's the last day before Hailey's pregnancy leave, they never thought this comes so fast, just like the babies did. They took wedding vows shortly after Jay fully recovered from his shot by Angela Nelson. It wasn't an easy journey physically, but mentally they finally let out what was deeply hided inside their heart and subconsciousness. Hailey stayed on his side during the whole recovery days, and finally said out those words that were interrupted by the sudden turn of Jay's situation. Jay was frustrated because his rehab hit a plateau, but her encouragement and her wiping his sweat comforted him a lot. She then said the words to him after handed him a glass of water and got him laid down. She told him all her feelings from the time she saw him lying on the ground, covering with blood, and struggling to breathe, to just few minutes ago, the moment she saw his frustration.

"I promised to myself that I would never have a thing with my partner, but I swallowed my words, I must fall in love with my partner, again."

She was emotional, and tears rolling in her eyes while she saw Jay slightly shook his head and trying to put himself up. Hailey didn't plan to get any positive reply because she knew how deep he loved Erin. She was to put some pillows behind him, so that he will not feel tired and short of breath to sit up again, but Jay reached her eye and tried to wipe tears at her eye corner. "The last sentence should be my script." Jay smirked and tried to hold Hailey in his arms. He caressed her hair, "You know, I always have your back, any time, no exception."

They always try to keep the team in the dark about their relationship because of Voight's rule. Though Jay may be away from the unit for some time before he gets the clear bill of health from the doctor, they do love their jobs, and both want to keep working in the team. Sometimes life likes to play pranks on them. At least this whole team might agree so. As to all the things they went though, Kim finally made her decision, and talked to Voight about her pregnancy, she even got her transfer application ready in case Voight stuck to his "no office romance" rules and she had to leave the team, though she planned to be a single mom. To Kim's surprise, Voight didn't blame her at all, he hugged her, saying congratulations near hear ear, and told her she is always a member of Intelligence. Kim was beyond joy and happy, tears run out of her eyes, they both know it's for excitement and release. Voight was to get off work to see how's Jay going when Kim walked into his office, asking about Kim's schedule for the evening, they drive to the Med together.

Whatever good news or bad news, it never comes alone. When they arrived Jay's room, Hailey was helping Jay of feeding himself. Though Jay was going through and recovering from a severe trauma, he without any doubt can eat normal meals by himself now. Voight went into the room ahead of Kim, teasing them with saying to Kim "We are really a family, you see." Hailey's face turned red immediately, and Jay tried to promise to Voight they wouldn't let the relationship influence their working performance as he recalled Voight's words when he was courting Lindsey. Seeing their reaction, Voight broke into laughter. "Kids, relax!"

Jay realized that they had known each other and had each other's back for years. They had undergone danger, depress, miserable, excitement and many other once-in-a-life things together. On Jay's last day at Med, when Will came to his room, he was wandering in mind and smirking without realizing by himself.

"Hey, buddy, what makes you so happy?" Will asked him as he was checking the clipboard at the end of his bed.

"Hey man, are you still having mom's ring? I'm afraid you need to buy a new ring for your fiancée."

He knew she loved Greek food and loved peaceful and high-praised restaurant. He wanted his girl to relax when dining out after taking care of him for a long time instead of measuring every table manner and dress code. He reserved a table in Avli Taverna on the day he was to be discharged as soon as he got answer from Will. He was still told to have medicine for days after he was checked out from Med. He wished he could drink with his girl to celebrate his discharge, especially his secret proposal, but he couldn't wait longer time after he was resuscitated from the jaws of the death. He asked Will to drive them there, the whole intelligence was already there, preparing surprise for Hailey. He knelt on one leg, pretending his needed to tie the lace, but used his uninjured arm to get the ring out asking Hailey to marry him.

"Hailey, on the first days we became partner, you told me that you would always follow me, you were there every time when I was in the worst situation, you pulled me back to a piece, physically and mentally. Nothing is enough to express my gratefulness to you. I feel I am intact with you. You are always in the deepest in my heart, my beloved girl, may I pay you back with the rest of my life? Could you please marry me?" Jay raised his head, looking into her eyes. Hailey was too touched and excited to say any words. She covered her mouth with her hand, letting tears running out. She kept nodding and stretched her arm to Jay, so that he could move his injured arm as less as possible. Jay couldn't wait to put the ring on her ring finger and stood up in a hurry, which made him felt dizzy and almost fall, after all he'd lost lots of blood and had not recovered to what he used to be. This really made Hailey worried about him, and other intelligence member rushed out to check whether he was fine. He embarrassedly smiled to them and explained to them it's just because he stood up rapidly. They all felt moved by Jay's words, Kim's eye frame even went red. Adam held Kim's waist with his arm, hoping to calm her a bit. Rojas hit the nail on the head, she said to this new couple on their wedding. "Finally! All the world knows you love each other, except two idiots." Adam was joking that as years pass, Jay is getting not only older, but dumber as well. They followed each other without no hesitation but went around to let their relationship go further. Voight said congratulations to them and told them he has another surprise as he took out his phone. He turned on speaker, where came Antonio's voice. "Hey Jay! Congrats! Don't forget to invite me to your wedding!"

But eventually they didn't have a grand wedding, they took the vow right after Hailey came from a tricky case. They knew they would be parents only a month after their wedding. As an expectant father, Jay started to prepare everything for his child from the first day he got the news. He even started to learn how to hold and take care of a baby when there were still 5 months that the baby was to come out. Time flies, days went as hectic as usual, Jay was as excited as usual. However, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans, everything can be changed unexpectedly on any single day.

It was Hailey's last day in 21st District before her maternity leave. After Jay completed his daily routine -cooking breakfast, daily jogging to enhance his lung and checking and preparing everything that Hailey may need in office, he drove them to the station. Hailey started desk work few months ago with her new partner Kim, and Jay was on his full duty with Rojas because of the mommy team in the office. Usually during these months, Jay drove Hailey to the station and met Rojas wherever needed, but this day, when Jay entered the building, Trudy told him Voight was looking for him and asked him to be in Voight's office as fast as possible. He knew something serious might happen.

He knocked on the door and went into Voight office, seeing that they were 2 more "man in black" standing in front of Voight's desk. They looked familiar to Jay, but he thought he could no way figure who they were.

Voight pointed at him, "Here he is."

"Hi Detective Halstead. I'm Agent Zidan, this is Agent Bell, we are FBI ."

"What can I help?" Jay had 2 extensive contacts with FBI, either of them was pleasant to him. The first time he cooperated with FBI, Erin started working for them and finally left Intelligence without noticing anybody. The second cooperation almost killed his brother. He sensed this time could be his turn.

"We need you to be the undercover in a multinational terrorism organization. We had our eyes on them for months, trying to send many undercovers, but we lost their contacts soon. The last undercover messaged us they were recruiting Caucasian. And they came to Chicago recently. We confirmed the news was solid. And we think you are the guy."

"They are many Caucasians, why me? To be selfish, my baby is coming soon…"

"You were in Ranger, served in Afghanistan, you can speak Arabic, at least basic, you went back in a sudden…"

"Don't you think this experience is too abrupt to join their organization?"

"But this are what they want, they need soldiers, need warriors." Keeping silence all the way, Agent Bell finally started speaking. "They kidnapped and cheated lots of adolescents to be their martyrs, the youngest was only 7 years old. You are also to be a father in several months. The child will grow up, may need to face a complexed and dangerous world… We have been working for years with CIA, finally we have a chance to get them."

Voight saw his hesitation, "Kid, nobody pushes you."

Jay looked at Hailey outside, she was talking with Kim with her hand on her belly. He turned back to them, slightly nodded.

"You know how hard and dangerous this road will be, do you need to talk to Hailey?"

"She doesn't need to know the detail. What she only needs to remember is that I won't leave her alone."

NOW

Hailey sits in her chair, looking at the space where Jay's desk used to be. In Hailey's memory, the day Jay left Intelligence didn't end good. She was told that Jay was blamed by Ivory Tower and the public for Marcus West's case and the following episodes, the aftermath of the case not only cost his health, but his career as well. He told her he needed to leave Chicago for few days, but then he never came back. Nobody told her anything about Jay since that day. When all their calls went to voicemail, those 2 persons that she saw talking to Jay in Voight's office comes a few times and they started to assist FBI's cases, they confirmed their guess: Jay got an undercover mission. She couldn't tell whether she relaxed or started to be nervous. She misses Jay all the time, but because she knows the protocols when one's partner is undercover, she never mentioned to anyone about her feelings, even though she needed him badly on the delivery day when she faced obstructed labor. She even got their photo out of the purse, so that none of their family number will be put at risk if something special happens. She put photos around her babies' cradle to let them remember their father's face. His desk is even set aside to give more space for reporting and case studying. Setting aside a table or moving the table out of the Intelligence only happened when Erin, Antonio and Alvin were gone, either from this city or from this world. She has lost his news for 16 months, will he, will he be another Garrett? No! He won't! He can't! And he mustn't!

"Everybody!" Voight called as he walking to the whiteboard, "Abdul Mohammed, our No.1 target, will show up in a warehouse on Roosevelt Road, suit up!" Voight hit the picture with his knuckle, "We'll nail him!"

Voight pats Hailey's shoulder, "You're with me today!"

It's over, Hailey thinks, the babies finally can meet their father in person.

* Yeah, here's my first episode! Please leave your reviews. Criticism, your preferences, your suggestion, etc., anything will be welcomed! Thank you and hope this episode doesn't let you down. I am writing another CPD fan fiction at the same time, which hasn't been published, thus, it may take me longer time to update this one as I planed. Sorry to keep you waiting.