Kazuma's second death wasn't much more glamorous but at least less pathetic than his first. Getting beheaded by a mystical guardian spirit named Winter Shogun during a quest sounded way better than dying of shock and wetting himself after pushing a girl out of the way from a slow moving tractor.

The young teen found himself back in an empty white room, wearing his old tracksuit and waiting patiently for whatever came next. That next turned out to be a little girl in a black dress and with red hair bound into pigtails.

She appeared in the seat in front of him in the blink of an eye and read the paper in her hand. "Satou Kazuma, age 16, reincarnated once into a new world to fight the demon king and failing miserably so far."

Kazuma put his hands on both knees and grabbed tight to stop himself from lashing out. Failing, disappointing and underwhelming was the story of his life, but why was every goddess he met making it a point to mock him about it?

The tone of the little red-haired brat turned sympathetic. "But… I can't fault you for not living up to expectations when the deck is stacked against you in such a way."

Hearing actual empathy for his plight almost shocked Kazuma to die a third time.

"Yes, a task this heavy while working with nothing, or in Aqua's case sometimes less than nothing, makes your current situation a no brainer. Why would anyone expect you to come out on top?"

"Yes, exactly!" the understanding words were balm for his soul. "How could I achieve anything without any real help?"

"Are you saying that you could achieve something great with the right tools?" the little girl said with a stare that suddenly became intense.

"It's all hypothetical anyway," Kazuma averted his gaze from the piercing stare. "Nobody gets more than one item from the gods and I'm stuck with the most useless goddess of them all as my own stupid choice."

"You're right," the little girl changed the scenery around them with a snap of her fingers. Instead of the pure white room, they sat amidst a burning hellscape with rivers of lava and winged demons flying in the sunless red sky. "Good thing I'm not a goddess, isn't it?"

"Wait a second, I know my behaviour wasn't the best at times, but hell is a bit much as punishment!"

The little girl got up from her seat and sat down on his lap. "Don't worry onii-chan, all your faults aside, you are still sickenly sweet and innocent underneath." She took his hand and placed it on her head, signaling him to start petting her. Kazuma did, and the demon girl cooed in bliss. "Your death while unfortunate, introduces an opportunity to throw my hat in the ring and for you to be on the winning side for once."

"Are you trying to recruit me for the evil team?"

"No," the girl rubbed the back of her head against him like a cat. "As I said, you are a good person, but that doesn't mean your success wouldn't be beneficial for my domain. The self-proclaimed 'Demon King' of your world acts independently from hell. The stuipid idiot isn't even allowed to interfere directly in the matters of the world, so he has turned traitor in the knowledge that I can't personally punish him for his disobedience."

"So you give me a cheat item from hell and send me against him? That doesn't sound much better than the useless goddess to be honest. What prevents me from using this power to live a happy and carefree life instead?"

The demon girl shrugged. "Nothing. That's the difference between heaven and hell. My belief in humanity is strong enough to wager they will act in my interest eventually. So, Satou Kazuma, do you want to get back to this wonderful world and enjoy life to its fullest?"

"Where do I sign and where is the catalog?"

Hearty laughter came from the small girl. "The wonders of hell aren't shackled by a stupid catalog! We were granting wishes for mortals before it was cool, so just imagine what you want and I will grant it to my utmost ability!"

Kazuma pondered joining devil worship as a worthwhile investment

"Have you ever heard of a gaming series from my world named Devil May Cry?"

Everything Kazuma ever wanted was to be acknowledged and admired. Many days and nights he had spent daydreaming what it would be like to be as cool and witty as the characters he played in those games alone in his room. That dream shattered early at the vile evilness that was called reality and society.

The girl looked at him with blinking red eyes and grinned with razor sharp teeth. "I do now. Oh, you are going to be fun onii-chan!"

Archwizard Megumin had the worst day of her life. The stab through her heart when she saw Kazuma die by the hand of the Winter Shogun was the biggest pain she had ever felt. She cried until her throat became sore and her eyes ran out of tears. Darkness comforted the small mage, her own body shaking from anger and grief.

So it was understandable that both were ready to rip the Aqua to shreds when she turned over his body with her foot and picked up his severed head by the hair like a smelly animal. She squealed with fright as Darkness brandished Kazuma's shortsword, her own shattered by the Winter Shogun, pointing it at the archpriest with unbridled rage. "What are you doing with his body? Looting him before his corpse is even cold? You fiend!"

"I will bring him back!" Aqua whined and backed away from the blade pointed at her face. "You know, like the other adventurers who died to the Dullahan?"

She was watched like a hawk during the whole process of healing Kazuma's head back on his body and casting the Resurrection spell.

The person you are trying to resurrect is currently unavailable due to a prolonged job interview in the infernal plane. Please try again later and have a nice day.

"Eh?"

"You said you could bring him back! You promised!"

Aqua, now getting panicked as well, shook his still and cold body. "Oi, shitty NEET, Don't leave me alone in this world! I will try again and if you don't open your eyes after that I will be super angry! Resurrection!"

The body of Kazuma began to glow blue and everyone looked hopeful at this new reaction. Hope turned to shock when the corpse burst into blue flames.

"Noooo!" Megumin wailed with fresh tears streaming down her face."What did you do?!"

"I didn't… this shouldn't!" Aqua fell to her knees, hands on her head in disbelief.

"Kazuma…" Darkness needed all of her willpower not to crumble beside her two companions.

The flames of the impromptu funeral pyre grew larger and larger, turning into a blue ball of fire which exploded upward into a pillar of light. Aqua felt the hairs on her neck stand up from the sudden presence of the figure standing at the center.

The stench of devil hung in the air.

"Kazuma?" Megumin asked, seeing the familiar head of brown hair from behind. Nothing else from his attire had stayed the same, the bulky winter clothes exchanged with a fancy blue coat, pants and black shoes. He looked like the attendee of a high class banquet for nobles and completely out of place in the icy tundra. On his hip was long and ornate sword sheath with a katana in it. Megumin had never seen such a blade in person but many of the guys from stories with weird names like Kazuma had similar weapons.

The person turned around to them fully and revealed his face.

"Kazuma!" Her body was still weakened from the explosion, but she forced every muscle to muster enough energy to crawl towards him. Darkness helped her after two tries and carried the small girl under her arm.

"Hey guys," Kazuma greeted the two approaching girls. "Did you miss me?"

He tried to make it sound as cool and suave as possible, although every fiber of his introverted soul screamed out in pain from the corniness of that line. The tearful reunion didn't make it any less embarrassing as Darkness and Megumin tackled him to the ground.

"Kazumaaaa!" Megumin grabbed his coat and sunk into his chest.

"She did it. Aqua really brought you back!" Darkness sat on his legs, almost crushing him with her heavy armor.

Corniness and clichee aside, it felt good to be appreciated by someone.

And of course, Aqua had to ruin the moment.

"Darkness, Megumin get away from him!" The blue archpriest stood there with her staff brandished and raring to vanquish the evil that dared to stand before an almighty goddess. On somebody else her performance would have been impressive, but Kazuma had seen every unseemingly side of this girl firsthand. "I will vanquish you devil!"

A goddess loses her luster a bit when you had to hold her hair several times while she vomits behind the guild tavern.

Reappearing white fog put a stop to the standoff. Like earlier, the massive figure of an ethereal blue samurai appeared before them. In a single motion, he brandished his massive sword and pointed it at them.

Megumin clung harder on Kazuma. "The Winter Shogun! But why? We didn't kill any more sprites!"

Aqua glared at Kazuma with disdain. "The presence of a foul devil NEET spurs him on to protect his snow sprites!"

Although she said it with more bile than necessary for his taste, Kazuma had the inkling she was right. The spirit was looking directly at him and ignored anyone else. "Is that so? Well, then I guess it's my responsibility to take care of him."

He was itching to test his new toy.

"No don't do it. You will die again!" Megumin didn't let go. Despite her small size, the girl had a grip like a vice.

"Megumin is very cute when she clings to me like that. I love that about you."

"Guh!"

His blunt praise and show of affection had the desired effect shocking her enough to let go.

Kazuma ignored further pleas of his party members as he approached the enemy in a lazy gait. True to her words, the demon girl had bestowed him with the power of his favourite character in his most beloved video game series. More than just demonic strength, his power actually worked like a video game, including the broken uninterruptible combos and the possibility to block all damage with perfectly timed blocks.

The Winter Shogun was fast and strong, stronger than anything the old Kazuma could have thrown against this foe. New Kazuma had the power of half-devil Vergil and a ridiculous amount of gaming experience in action adventure games. All the wasted time training to SSS-Rank everything on the highest difficulties had paid of in the real world.

It just had not been the first.

He would be better. He would be happier. He would…

"Did that thing just stab me through the chest while I was pondering my new life?"

A quick glance and the screams of his party confirmed his suspicion.

"Oi, it's rude to start a fight prematurely. I wasn't ready yet." He droned to the Winter Shogun in a bored tone which betrayed the frantic thoughts running through his head.

"Thank you for making me so durable! Thank you for making me so durable! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you cute devil-chan!"

Kazuma decided to push the envelope by pulling the sword deeper into him and the monster closer, unleashing all his pent-up anxiety and disappointment on the poor thing. The result of his gamer labour was a guardian spirit cut to pieces with a few dozen lightning fast strikes and he didn't even got to pull out any special moves before it vanished. Three girls watched with open mouths as the fearsome monster crumbled into dust.

Aqua began to sweat like crazy as Kazuma stared at her with the giant sword still in his chest and the other in his hand dripping with spirit ectoplasma . "About what I said earlier… Kazuma knows as my best friend that it was just a joke right?"

He would sleep with one eye open from now on.

Megumin and Darkness began prodding him and the sword poking out of his back while bombarding Kazuma with questions. "What happened to you Kazuma? Doesn't impalement hurt? Could you describe the excruciating pain in detail please? Why are you so strong with a sword now? Where did you get this stylish outfit that tugs at my Crimson Demon soul?"

A part of Kazuma was miffed how quickly everything reverted back to normal. Megumin was her usual excited self, Darkness was perverted and Aqua still aggravated him as easily as ever.

"Let's get back to town and talk about it there."

From now on it would be different! He wouldn't give up so easily on being awesome! Kazuma sliced first vertical then horizontal through the air, cutting it like paper and ripping open a portal. Another attempt to impress followed and he already felt the stage fright take hold when he pulled the sword from his torso. The gaping wound healed almost as soon as the weapon was removed.

His expensive clothes weren't. Figures he would have to pay for a tailor.

"Are you coming or what?" Kazuma entered the portal and averted his face to prevent them from seeing the goofy grin. He tried to sound nonchalant about his accomplishment, when in truth he felt unbridled joy for pulling this move off without a hitch. The badass swordsman who does cool tricks with his sword and shrugs of deadly wounds like nothing was one of Kazuma's favourite tropes.

"So cool…" Megumin stared at the open tear in reality with big sparkling eyes, being the first to follow him through.

At this moment, Megumin didn't know the amount of soothing her admiration brought to Kazuma's battered shut-in soul.

Satan bless this explosive loli.