Teddy's grandmother's attic looked messier than James had ever seen it. Trunks had been opened, spilling out all sorts of books and old clothes and letters and strange magical instruments James had never seen before, all coated in thick layer of dust particles that rose up and floated away in the late afternoon sun.

Teddy sat in the middle of the mess, rifling through some giant old book, unaware that he was no longer alone. James cleared his throat loudly

"Dad told me to tell you dinner's almost ready."

Teddy didn't respond, his nose still buried in the book. James frowned and leaned against the door frame, absently drumming his fingers against the wall.

"Teddy. Teddy. Teddy."

"I'll be down in a minute, okay?" said Teddy, still facing away from James. "And stop that tapping; I can't focus."

"What are you even looking at?" asked James. It wasn't like Teddy to be this snappish, or ignore him, for that matter. Or be surrounded by this much mess.

"Some of my dad's old things," Teddy said.

James stopped tapping.

"All of this was your dad's?"

Teddy chuckled. "No, most of this is my grandparents'. My dad didn't own much, did he?"

"No, I guess not," said James. "What's that book? Can I see?"

Teddy looked mildly surprised as he handed it to him. "Sure. It's just a book on Defense Against the Dark Arts. Be careful with it, though, because it's pretty old. It might've even been the book he used in school."

"I can be careful," said James as he slowed his turning of the pages. "I bet this was his N.E.W.T. textbook or something, since I've never seen any of these spells before."

"Well, you've only been in school one year," said Teddy. "You'll see them eventually."

James continued to look through the book, marveling at the illustrations demonstrating counter-curses and hexes, signs of long-lasting spell damage, and poison antidotes. He even came across a couple of notes in the margins and excitedly showed Teddy, who easily confirmed that they belonged to his father.

"How do you know your dad's handwriting so well?" asked James.

Teddy shrugged. "Practice, I guess."

"I don't think I'd recognize Dad's handwriting," said James.

"Probably 'cause it's barely legible at the best of times."

James smirked and nodded his agreement, continuing to flip through the pages of the book. He was about to put it back in the pile when he noticed something sticking out from one of the back pages. Intrigued, he turned to the page, where a small piece of paper fell out.

The paper clearly hadn't been torn from the pages of the book. It was slightly darker than the textbook pages, and rumpled and creased, as though it had been folded and refolded and stuffed into pockets many times. The ink was slightly faded and smudged, yet still legible. But as James looked closer, it became clear that the note had absolutely not been written by Teddy's father. The handwriting in the textbook margins had been small, slanted, and relatively neat- neater than James's own father's, anyway- but these letters were big and swooping, slightly sloppy, and standing perfectly straight. And then, of course, there was the subject of the note. Or rather, list.

Places to take Harry

Teddy was still looking intently at another book, so it was so quiet James could nearly hear his own heartbeat as he tried to smooth down the paper and read every single word.

The white sand beach

That park with the flying wooden dragons

Florean Fortescue's

Dad's old flat in Diagon Alley

The Quidditch World Cup next year or '86 if we still have to wait

Frank and Alice's

Lily's favourite spot on the river…

"What're you looking at?" asked Teddy, breaking James's concentration.

"I think…I think it's from my grandpa," said James in a soft voice, moving over so Teddy could read the list as well.

"I reckon you're right," said Teddy, as James continued to read.

The forest by mum and dad's old place

The unicorn waterfall

That bakery with the scones Hestia never shuts up about

Surprise visit to McGonagall's office

Anywhere on Sirius's bike…

"Hang on, one's crossed off," said James. "I can't tell what it says, Mc-something. McKenna? McInner? I don't know. Maybe they made it there anyway."

"I hope so," said Teddy.

"But why did your dad have it?" asked James. "And if it actually is my grandparents' list, why didn't your dad or your grandma give it to my dad?"

"I don't know," said Teddy. "Maybe there wasn't time? Maybe my grandma didn't even know about it; I don't think she's ever gone through my dad's stuff." He paused and handed the parchment back to James. "We should probably give it to your dad now, though."

"Well, it is his birthday tomorrow," said James quietly, still fiddling with the parchment and avoiding Teddy's eyes. "It'd be a good present, don't you think?"

"Are you trying to cover for the fact that you haven't gotten him anything yet?" asked Teddy with a grin. "Making up for that three-week detention?" But James looked dead serious.

"I just thought- you know how he always says he doesn't like getting stuff for his birthday or Christmas? Well, I thought this might be a thing he would like to have."

"I was thinking we should give it to him right away, but that's not a bad idea," said Teddy. "Maybe-"

Suddenly, the door burst open, and James and Teddy whirled around. James's father stood in the doorway, holding his wand and breathing an audible sigh of relief.

"James, I asked you to fetch Teddy over ten minutes ago. What have you been doing? It's been way too quiet; I thought something had happened."

Teddy apologized, but James rolled his eyes. "You're so paranoid," he said.

Harry ignored him. "What's that?" he asked, gesturing to James's hand.

"Nothing," said James hurriedly, quickly putting the note in his pocket. "A surprise."

"For?"

"You," said James.

Harry raised his eyebrows and looked to Teddy, who glanced at James, then nodded in affirmation.

"Well, come get your dinner, then," he said. "Though I can't guarantee that Al and Lily won't have eaten everything. And we're all going flying tonight, remember?"

James nodded, instantly perking up. As they all headed down the stairs together, Teddy turned to James.

"You still have the note?" he asked. James patted his pocket and grinned. "Are you sure you want to keep it? Because I could take it until tomorrow…"

"I want to hold onto it," said James. "It's from the first James Potter. I can definitely keep it safe."

"If you're really sure…" said Teddy.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Thankfully, they managed to make it through dinner without bringing up the letter, and the conversation mainly focused on the plan for Harry's birthday and Teddy's new apartment. Lily successfully persuaded Teddy to not only come flying with them that evening, but also to spend the night. By the time dinner was finished and they'd taken the Floo back home, James sprinted out to the broomshed, everyone else following close behind.

Flying with his family on summer nights had always been one of James's favorite things. He loved the feeling of the cool night wind in his hair and trying out new tricks and listening to his parents tease each other and racing his siblings. The sun was just about to set, and the first stars began to glitter across the soft purple sky.

"Hey, Teddy, watch this!" James called, performing a perfectly executed loop twist high above everyone else. When he finished, Teddy was grinning and clapping with slightly exaggerated slowness.

"Brilliant," he said. "Definitely not any worse than the last fifty times."

James beamed. "I know. There's no way I won't make the team this year. I should have made it last year; if Dad could break the rules, I can. It's stupid."

"What's stupid?" asked Ginny, flying up alongside them.

"That Dad got to play in his first year and I didn't."

Ginny smiled and looked over in Harry's direction to make sure he was listening.

"Well," she said, "only one of your parents became a professional player, and it definitely wasn't the youngest seeker in a century."

"I had other things on my mind, thank you very much," said Harry, and they all laughed. "And anyway, I'm still the better Seeker."

"Funny, because I seem to remember you catching…what was it, one Quidditch Cup-winning Snitch? Whereas I caught—"

James let his parents continue their playful bickering as his siblings came over to join them.

"Hey Al, wanna race?" he said.

"No," said Al, floating lazily away on his broom.

"Are you scared you're going to lose?"

"No, I just don't want to."

"I'll race you," said Teddy.

"Nah, you'll just fall off your broom again."

"Ouch," said Teddy, dramatically clutching his hand to his chest as he followed Al back to the house. James turned to find his sister.

"Lily, come on!" he called. "Race me to the stream and back!"

"Ok!" she said. "Hey, wait, no head starts!"

"Too late!" called James as he took off, grinning as the night air whipped his hair back and the wind washed over his face. He gave Lily, who was still getting used to a regular broom instead of a training broom, time to catch up by performing a complicated upside down turn once he reached the tops of the trees overlooking the stream that ran along the property. He felt his stomach swoop as the world turned over and the familiar rush as he picked up speed again, letting Lily nearly overtake him before he crossed their imaginary finish line.

When the sky turned black and Lily was starting to get tired, Ginny called everyone inside. James's head felt heavy as he walked upstairs to brush his teeth, and he could honestly have collapsed right there in the bathroom if it wasn't for Al whining at him to hurry up. When he finally reached the privacy of his room, he stuck a hand into his left trouser pocket to feel his grandfather's note again, and froze.

His pocket was empty.

Suddenly, James was wide awake. He reached into his other pocket. Nothing. He looked around on the floor, under his shirt, everywhere. Nothing, nothing, nothing. He checked under his blankets and looked in every drawer, even though he knew that he had never moved the note from his pocket.

A knock on the door interrupted his frantic rummaging.

"James," came his father's voice, "what are you doing in there?"

"Nothing!" said James. He was horrified to find that his voice came out like a squeak.

"Doesn't sound like nothing. Go to bed. It's late and remember, we have to leave early tomorrow, so I don't want you to be too tired in the morning, okay?"

"Okay," James squeaked again.

The door slowly opened, and James saw his dad's face for a few moments, before he found himself looking at the floor.

"Goodnight," said Harry, as if everything were completely normal and right in the world.

''Night," mumbled James.

When his father shut the door, James collapsed into bed with his eyes squeezed shut. How could he have been so stupid? The reaction to his three-week detention would pale in comparison to this. He could hear his father's voice from that day echoing in his head…

"The Forest, James? The Forest?!"

"We were only in there for a little bit-"

"A little bit is too long!"

"It wasn't even dark out!"

"It was nearly dark! You were already so far in; Merlin, if Hagrid hadn't found you…"

James's father trailed off, rubbing his scar as he continued to pace back and forth. For the first time, James felt a slight twinge of guilt.

"We were only a tiny bit lost," he said after a few moments. "We had the map; we would have been able to find our way out-"

"I didn't let you keep the map so you could go running off into the forest to put your life and the life of your friend in danger!"

"Robbie was fine with it, Dad, it was partly his idea anyway. And you said Grandpa James did it all the time!"

"He had good reason to!"

James spluttered indignantly.

"You did it all the time too! And anyway, you said yourself the map is supposed to be for mischief-"

"There's a difference between mischief and deliberately putting your life at risk for a laugh," his father said firmly. "Now, I'll be taking this-" he ignored James's cry of outrage as he confiscated the map- "until you learn not to be reckless with your life."

James huffed as he sat down on the bench outside the door to McGonagall's office. "You never let me do anything fun," he muttered.

"Oh, running off into the Forbidden Forest to find a supposed manticore hangout is fun now, is it?"

"More fun than homework," said James. "Plus, Grandpa-"

"Grandpa James gave his life to save mine!" said Harry, finally losing it. "Without him, you wouldn't be here, and I don't care what you think about the stories I've told you about him, if you think it's okay to use the map he made to run off into the forest when you have less than a year of school under your belt, just because you want a little adventure, that's, quite frankly, a bit of an insult to his memory!"

James, in all his frustration, couldn't think of a better comeback than "Well, well, keep the stupid map then!" before storming off, leaving his father standing alone in the corridor next to the gargoyles.

After about an hour of waiting in the now-silent house, James had decided what to do. Careful not to let the floor creak, he took his dad's cloak out of his drawer, opened his bedroom door, and silently headed down the hallway.

Teddy was asleep on the couch in the living room, and James didn't take his eyes off him as he headed to the back door. When he was finally outside, he shut the door with the quietest click, then ran out to the woods.

He wasn't sure exactly how far he had flown, only that he had been over the stream. He realized about halfway through the trees that he had stupidly forgotten to bring a light, but the moon was so bright he almost didn't need one. He scrounged around in the dark for what felt like half an hour, when he heard the sound of a twig breaking and the shuffle of footsteps along the grass.

Heart hammering, James quickly pulled the cloak over his head and stood still, hardly daring to breathe. The crunching of twigs grew louder, followed by a faint white light.

"James? Hello? Is anyone there?"

Teddy's face came into view, and James soon realized that if Teddy kept moving, he would walk right into him. He tried to shuffle to the side, but his foot stepped on a branch, and Teddy pointed his want straight at him, his face slightly terrifying in the moonlight.

"Who's there?" he called, moving closer until his wand was barely an inch from James's nose.

James quickly pulled the cloak off, and Teddy jumped and stumbled backwards.

"Bloody hell James!" he said, regaining his balance. "What are you doing?"

"I…I…"

"It's nearly three o'clock in the morning!" he whispered. "If I hadn't seen you leave, I would have thought-"

"You saw me leave?" James asked, incredulous. He was sure Teddy had been asleep the whole time.

"Yes, you idiot, I heard you walk to the door. You're really bad at being sneaky, even with that cloak."

"I was very sneaky," James retorted. "Nobody else woke up, did they?"

"Not that I know of, but if we go much farther we might set something off. And then your dad might attack us. And you still haven't answered my first question."

"It's none of your business what I'm doing," mumbled James. "Just looking for something."

Teddy's face darkened. "You didn't."

James glared back. "Didn't what?"

"You lost it?"

"Only temporarily!"

"Merlin, James!" Teddy ran a hand over his face. "I knew you should have given it to me! It'll take ages to find a scrap of paper in a garden this big!"

"Well, then help me look for it!" said James, starting to get annoyed. "You have a wand and everything!"

Teddy sighed as he pulled his wand back out. "I can't believe you."

"It was an accident, okay?" said James.

Teddy sighed again and raised his wand.

"Accio list," he said.

Nothing.

"Accio paper."

Nothing.

"Lumos."

The light from his wand grew brighter, until it illuminated quite a few square meters. As Teddy held his wand aloft, James scrambled around the woods and the rest of the back garden, growing increasingly frantic, looking at the ground, to the branches of trees, in the stream. They didn't slow down until the very first line of dark blue began to appear at the edge of the sky, until James nearly had tears in his eyes from exhaustion and frustration.

"James…" said Teddy.

"We have to keep looking!"

"James, I…I don't think we're going to be able to find it. It's gone."

"It can't be gone!" James cried, turning to face Teddy, who looked just as defeated as he felt. "It can't be!"

"James, we've looked all over. It probably fell in the stream or got lost in the Floo. Either way, it's… it's gone."

James sank down against the back of the house and hugged the cloak to his chest. "Well, then what am I supposed to do?"

Teddy sighed and crouched down next to him. "We're not going to tell anyone. Make up a story or something. Your dad doesn't need to know it ever existed."

James didn't meet Teddy's eyes and stared down at the cloak instead. After a few moments, he said, in an impossibly soft voice, "I don't even remember everything it said."

Teddy moved to sit against the wall with him and put an arm around his shoulders.

"It's going to be okay," he said. "Yes, you were really stupid and should have listened to me the first time, but I know that if someone found something from my dad and lost it before I could see, I'd rather have not known about it at all. And if it makes you feel any better, this is all my fault."

James buried his face in his hands. "Shut up, Teddy. You know it's not."

"Whatever. Listen, we just won't mention it to your dad, okay? And if we really want to avoid your dad, we should get back inside."

The next morning, James woke up to the sound of his father's voice.

"James? James, come on, get up! Your breakfast is getting cold and we need to catch the Portkey in an hour."

James groaned and rolled over, only partially from exhaustion. He heard his father open the door.

"Hey," he said, "aren't you excited to go to the beach? You've been talking about it all week."

"Yeah, I know," mumbled James. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Are you feeling alright?" asked his dad.

"Yeah," James lied.

"Well, then, hurry up before Teddy eats all the eggs," he said with a smile.

"I heard that!" came a voice from downstairs. Harry grinned at James as he left the room, but James couldn't find it in himself to smile back.

It was strange, he thought. Despite all the trouble he'd caused throughout his childhood, he'd never felt guilt quite like this before. Not even after his detention. He had gone home for the Easter holidays right after his last week of detention with a comment from Neville praising his good behavior. By the end of the break, his father had apologized for shouting, he had apologized for running off into the forest, and he had the map back.

And the strangest part about the whole thing was that he didn't need to feel guilty at all. His dad would never know about the list. It wasn't like he'd lost one of the family photo albums or anything. And he could always piggyback onto Teddy's present, so that wasn't a problem.

But deep down—

"James!" came his mother's voice, interrupting his thoughts. "What are you doing? Get down here and eat your breakfast or we'll have to leave without you!"

James groaned again and stumbled out of bed. Luckily for him, unlike Al, he was excellent at pretending nothing was wrong, and managed to walk down to breakfast with his usual carefree grin. It didn't hurt that he knew that his mum had gone to the bakery to get some of dad's favorite pastries for breakfast.

But when his dad offered him a cinnamon pastry- his absolute favorite- he suddenly found that he wasn't hungry. His grandfather's note had said something about a bakery...

"Come on you lot, let's go," said Ginny. "The portkey leaves in 10 minutes."

As the rest of the family put on their shoes, he snuck out to the back garden one last time just to check in the daylight. But the yard was just as green as it had always been- no wandering pieces of paper around to disrupt the grass. He looked for as long as he could before the sound of "JAMES!" came and he reluctantly went back to his family.

They were going to a beach James had never been to before— that he knew for sure. When they arrived on the grassy bluffs and made their way down to the shore, James could immediately see why his father had chosen this place. There wasn't a soul to be seen along the entire stretch of shoreline; nothing but pale white sand and grayish blue waves crashing against the tall bluffs farther down the way. Miraculously, only a few clouds dotted the sky, so the water sparkled as it rippled towards the shore.

James barely hesitated before running straight into the water, letting the freezing cold waves wash against his ankles. He heard the sound of Lily's squeals as the water hit her feet and his parents chatting with Teddy, but all that felt like background noise under the rushing wind and the crashing waves.

Suddenly, James felt his entire back get completely drenched with freezing water. Barely hiding his shivering, he turned around to see Al standing behind him and smirking. James lunged for him, Al clumsily jumped out of the way and started running back to shore, and the chase was on.

After a good deal of splashing and laughter followed by necessary drying charms for the whole family, James sat on the grass eating his lunch while everyone chatted around him. Lily was the first to finish and began to drag Teddy back towards the water, followed closely by Al and their mother. Normally, James would have been right there with them, but instead he decided to stay on the grass and eat his sandwich a bit slower than usual, watching the waves and listening to Lily's shrieking laughter as Teddy lifted her over his shoulder.

He turned to see his dad sitting not too far away, watching them all with a small smile on his face. Once again, James felt an annoying pang of guilt about what he'd done, and got up to walk down the beach towards his father.

"Oh, hello," said his dad as James sat down next to him. "Why aren't you with the others?"

"Don't really feel like it right now."

"Are you sick?" asked his dad, though he was smiling in bemusement.

"No," sighed James, grinning back. "And why aren't you down there with them?"

"I think it's nicer sometimes just to watch you all," he said. "To see you all so happy."

"Ugh, Dad," James groaned, falling back onto the grass, "No soppy stuff, even if it is your birthday."

His dad laughed. "So I'm not allowed to tell you that I'm glad you came to sit with me, because I miss you so much now that I don't see you at all during the school year?"

James groaned again and threw his arms over his face. "No."

"In fact, I'd say it's the best birthday present I've ever-"

"Dad!"

Harry laughed, but James didn't feel like joining him. The feeling of guilt was back, and it made him want to curl up into a ball and never look his father in the eyes again. But then he felt his arm being gently pulled away from his face, and he didn't even try to resist it. The sudden sunlight nearly blinded him, so he sat up to look out at the water again, doing his best to avoid his father's gaze.

"Jamie, is everything alright?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," James lied.

He heard his father sigh.

"Teddy told me about what you found."

James snapped his head up to look at his dad.

"He what?! But he promised; he said he was going to keep it a secret!"

"Well, I think he was going to, but he was up before anyone else this morning and acted a bit strangely at breakfast, so I asked him if something was wrong and he told me what happened."

James scowled. "Some Hufflepuff he is. Losing loyalty to a guilty conscience."

His father smiled. "From what he told me, you had quite the guilty conscience yourself."

James scoffed and looked at the ground, though a part of him was secretly glad his father knew. For a moment, he couldn't think of anything to say back, before his father spoke again.

"I'm not upset, you know."

James snapped his head up and looked at him. "You're not?"

"On the contrary. I'm actually really touched that you thought to give it to me. I didn't even think you'd have noticed it at all."

"Well, why wouldn't I have given it to you? It was your dad's! Your dad's actual handwriting! I thought it was…just kind of cool, you know?"

"Yeah, it is pretty cool," said Harry.

James ducked his head and fiddled with a long blade of grass.

"But now it's… now it's gone and you'll never get to see it."

His voice cracked slightly. He hoped his dad hadn't noticed. But then he felt his dad put an arm around him and found that he didn't even mind.

"I'm not going to lie," said his dad after a few moments, "I would have liked to have seen it."

"Yeah, I figured," grumbled James. "So let's just get the lecture about how I need to be more careful over with."

"Who said I was giving you a lecture?"

"Well, I-"

"Look at me, James," said Harry, and James looked up to meet his father's eyes. "These things happen. And we can't go back and change them. We probably won't get my dad's note back, and we definitely won't get my parents back."

His calm voice and caring eyes made James feel even worse.

"But- but you hardly have anything from your parents," said James. "You don't even have that many pictures of you as a family, and when I saw the note, I just…I guess I just…feel bad for you."

His father chuckled. "When did you get to be so sensitive?"

"I'm not!" said James. "And don't tell Al and Lily that- wait- don't tell anyone we even had this conversation. I'll be the laughingstock of the family for the rest of my life."

Harry laughed again and pulled James into a hug. "Your secret is safe with me," he said. "And you don't need to feel bad for me."

"But-"

"When I was your age," his dad said, "I would have given anything just to spend one day with my parents. Anything. And even today, I'd be lying if I said I don't sometimes still wonder how my life might have been different. Very rarely, but it happens."

"And would you want that?" asked James. "For your life to be different?"

His father was silent for a moment.

"Someone once told me," he said, looking out at the sea, "that it's important not to dwell on dreams and forget to live. And I… I'm incredibly lucky. I've got you, and Mum, and Teddy and Al and Lily, and the Weasleys. You're all safe, you're all happy, and that's all that matters, really. Why should I dwell on what could have been when I'm perfectly happy right now?"

"So you don't miss them?" asked James. "Not even a little bit?"

"I didn't say that," said his father. "I do miss them sometimes. But, if I'm perfectly honest, I don't so much miss the life I could have had as much as I'm sorry my parents never got to meet you and your siblings."

"Really?"

"From what I know about my father, I think you two would have gotten on fantastically."

"Well, yes, obviously," said James as his father laughed. "But you told me after my detention that I'd…that I'd insulted his memory."

Much to James's surprise, his father laughed again.

"Oh, James," he said, "Your grandfather would have been delighted that you used his map to break school rules and sneak around where you don't belong. To have a bit of adventure on top of your studies."

James opened his mouth to say something, but Harry held up his hand.

"But," he said, "what you did was still wrong and dangerous. The Forbidden Forest is much more dangerous than I think you realize. I've told you that a bit of harmless mischief isn't the end of the world, but I'm sure you can understand why I don't want you putting your life in danger. And I don't think your grandfather would disagree with me on that."

James leaned his head against his father's shoulder, and he felt him kiss the top of his head.

"I said I was sorry," said James.

"I know you did," said Harry. "I know you're sorry. And I hope from now on, you'll be able to understand the difference between a bit of rule-bending and reckless endangerment."

"Because you definitely didn't," said James, grinning up at him.

"Right you are," said Harry, ruffling his hair. James grimaced and pulled away, but continued to sit next to his father as they watched the grass ripple in the breeze.

"Maybe I'll become an Animagus too," said James after a few moments. "Like Grandpa. Or I'll just become an Auror like you. Then I can go on dangerous, life-threatening adventures and you can't get mad at me because it'll be my job."

His father gave him an incredulous look, then shook his head. "You're going to drive me to an early grave, you are," he said. "Why would you want to go on dangerous, life-threatening adventures when you could just play chess or something?"

"What other kind of adventure is there?" asked James, grinning up at his dad. "Not that you would know, of course—"

Harry laughed before pulling James to the ground in an almost suffocating hug, ignoring James's giggling protests as he playfully threatened to keep him right there forever so he didn't go off on any more dangerous escapades.

When their laughter finally died down, James managed to squirm out of his father's arms and stand up.

"The bonding time's been nice, Dad, but we should probably go enjoy the beach now. They'll come looking for us."

"I reckon you're right," said Harry, standing up with him. He looked towards the sea again, then grinned down at James. "I'll race you there."

"Sure- Hey, wait!" cried James trying and failing to match his father's head start. Harry merely laughed, and James couldn't help but laugh too, the wind roaring and whipping their hair as they ran towards the sea touching the horizon before them.