Idunn's Apple Pie

A Marvel 616 fic by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: Ain't mine.

Some further reactions...

Avengers Tower

Tony wasn't really a teatime kind of guy, but he wasn't going to turn down free coffee, cake and other pastries. Say what you would about Hela, she knew how to put out a spread for guests.

"I am astonished you are not fifty pounds heavier," Tony said to Steve, as he munched his way through the most heavenly cinnamon bun he'd ever eaten-Ha! Puns.

Steve just grinned as he sipped his coffee, as little Bucky scribbled with crayons on paper next to his feet. "Super Soldier Metabolism helps," he admitted. "And it's not like I'm any less active with Hela."

"That reminds me," Tony began, immaturely licking his fingers, "about certain... Myths about your honey." He wiped his fingers off on a napkin, and looked intently up at Steve. Steve was in the middle of sipping his ice mocha-Of course Hela made those only for Steve. Steve raised an eyebrow, and set his coffee down.

"Yes, Fenrir, Sleipnir and Jörmungandr are her siblings. And yes, I have met them all."

"What was that like?" Tony asked, his insatiable curiosity coming to the forefront. Steve smiled wryly.

"They were all actually very laid back. Despite being immortal enemies with Thor. Jörmungandr didn't really understand much, just that Hela was happy and I made her happy," he admitted.

"No shovel speech?" Tony asked. Steve shrugged.

"Being best friends with Thor seems to make them think I'm a stand up guy," he said. Tony nodded, waiting for Steve to take another sip.

"And Hela herself... How is she... Half and half? Above or below the waistline?"

Steve just shot Tony a glare, gulping down his coffee without any spewing. "Tony!" He hissed. Tony shrugged.

"I'm just curious," he said.

Hela walked into the room, snorting loudly. She reached down to rub Little Bucky's head, before she sat next to Steve and hugged him.

"Please Tony, just because your sex life is public doesn't mean everyone's has to be," the Queen of Nifelheim huffed. Tony shrugged again.

"Just consider it professional interest," he said. Hela rolled her eyes.

"Those mythwriters were always getting things wrong," she sighed. "My father was not actually Odin's brother, after all. As for 'half and half', it's quite simple."

Hela snapped her fingers, and her hair turned white. On the other side of Steve, exact in every way save for her black hair, another Hela appeared. The Black Haired Hela hugged on Steve as well, making the Captain flush just a bit. Both Helas smirked.

"It's a useful ability to have for multitasking," both Helas said in unison, cuddling on either side of Steve.

Tony set down his coffee, and smirked back at Steve's embarassment. "So... Double Trouble? Does even Captain America have the ability to handle that?"

"He handles us both just fine, thank you," White Haired Hela snorted, nuzzling Steve's cheek.

"He's not you, Tony," Black Haired Hela added.

"Hela! Not in front of Bucky!" Steve cried.

"It's good for him!" Both Helas protested.

"I have to say, I'm definitely enjoying myself."

"TONY!"

I did expand on it.