Last installment of Into the Gray Series.

Rey doesn't mind the heat on Tatooine. It reminds her of home—Jakku. The way the heat distorts the horizon in ripples. Freezing nights and blazing days. A simple way of life, to work and stay busy, to eat and sleep, then do it all over again.

She loves it most when Finn calls. He can't wait until she gets back. Unabated joy vibrates through the speakers when he rambles on about "getting that weird feeling, you know?" He's trying to lift rocks.

There is always something to do: the never-ending battle when the sands shift and cascade into the Lars' homestead. Someone at Tosche Station seemed surprised when Rey told them where she chose to stay after she'd stopped for parts to fix the moisture collectors.

"It's full of ghosts and sadness."

There are no spirits since the day both of her Masters faded into the sunsets. Only D-O's tinny responses to BB-8's tendency to be bossy. The droids don't press her for answers or ask questions she doesn't want to hear. Rose doesn't mean anything by them, she's just being a good friend. Even that tone in Poe's voice when he gives her a tidbit of how Finn is progressing as co-general.

"He's doing great!" Without you. "He's trying to make heads of tails of those books." That you left behind. "Someday, he's gonna need something other than a blaster." Like a lightsaber or a master.

The sadness of the Lars' home, though, lulls her into its arms each evening. The whispers of the past, regrets, wrap Rey into a warm cocoon of what should have been. And on the nights where she swears she hears her name rip across the desert winds, she curls into a tighter ball and remembers.

The feel of Ben's lips.

His genuine smile that filled every crevice of her soul. She'd never felt so complete before.

The memories are all she has left since The Force stilled. It's a quiet like none other. A dark, chilled blanket with no edges, no escape. It stretches on forever, peaceful and vacant. Gone are the nightmares of abandonment, the whispers of Jedis from long ago. She extends her thoughts to find him, or Master Luke, even Leia. And the silence drapes over her until she surrenders to exhaustion and a dreamless sleep.

In the morning, Rey eats until her belly protests. She grills tasty meats loaded with spices and drinks the blue milk that she picks up once a week from Anchorhead. When BB-8 beeps that someone is in the droid shop, Rey blows her breath through pursed lips. She just wants to fix the units on the South Ridge. They keep breaking down.

Rey dumps her glass into the sink and walks toward the darkened room. The light should've come on with movement. "BB-8," she says, turning to the rolling droid at her heels. "Are you sure you saw someone?" The overhead flickers to life once she steps over the threshold. He's slightly offended by her question.

"Person here," D-O confirms, speeding past her ankles to the nearest workbench.

She looks around at the empty shop. "Unless I'm blind, there is no one here."

BB-8 chirps.

"What do you mean he just left? Who just left? I would've seen someone." Rey hurries back outside. Nothing in The Force as she extends her mind. No one is on the stairs to the surface, so she climbs them to the equally barren horizon. "See?" she yells back down. "There's no one here."

Both droids repeat that someone was there and left. Rey rolls her eyes, heads to the speeder, and opens up the throttle once she's far enough that the blasting sand won't cause an hour's worth of cleaning. She'll have to check their sensors when she comes back. Obviously, there's something causing interference. It is hard enough to war against the sorrow in her soul without malfunctioned hope.

There are fresh tracks near the collectors on the South Ridge—both Bantha and Tusken Raiders. Nothing is missing, though. And she knows the Sand People are watching. Not because of The Force, but because she's read about their survival and heard the rumors of their vicious attacks. She's surprised that they didn't dismantle the entire systems. They think water is sacred. Maybe it's because she left a covered trough for them to collect from. It was an attempt to keep them from damaging the other collectors and it looks like it's worked.

The twin suns rise to their zenith. Rey steadily wilts beneath the unsheltered sunshine. When the collector finally drips a steady stream into the trough, she throws her hyperspanner into the speeder and heads back to the homestead. This heat, the droids, play havoc in her head. She needs to stand under the cool fresher and wash it all away.

BB-8 squawks before she's even cut the engine.

"Yes, I'm sorry for leaving you this morning…No, I just went to the South Ridge. I was fine, BB-8." He bumps into her ankle when she steps into the lower homestead. She kneels. "I was just in a bad mood and needed some time to myself, that's all. I'm sorry I left you behind." Rey fiddles with his antenna. "I need to clean up and then would like to run a diagnostic to check your sensors, if that's okay." With his blessing, she heads to the fresher.

And it's here, under the chilled water, where the sobs burst from her lips. The loneliness has crept in from all sides. That silly hope of someone coming to see her. The untold, secret ache to see him one more time, even if it's through The Force. By the time she turns off the faucet, Rey decides that she will pack tomorrow and head back to the base. She needs to see her friends again, to feel a friendly hug.

Rey catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she straightens her tunic. "The galaxy doesn't need another Jedi locked away on an island," she whispers. The Force will return in its own time. And with it, maybe, just maybe, the possibility of seeing Ben someday.

A soft bump jostles her. She looks down expecting to see D-O, but nothing is there. She stretches out into The Force, but it remains hushed. Twisting her hair into two quick buns, she nods to her reflection and yells to BB-8, who rolls in as she is setting her clothes onto the sparse bed. "We are leaving tomorrow," she says, making sure there is nothing left in the drawers even though she knows they are empty.

He's excited. He misses Poe and wants to see Rose again. Rose always cleans his ports the best.

"Let's go eat and then we'll close up the place. I have enough time to head to Anchorhead to have them get the ship ready and be back before sunsets." To make sure no parts are missing from the X-wing. Rey pats his dome on the way to the kitchen. He beeps and sputters on about going back to the Resistance, if there will be any new droids or Wookies. He likes Wookies.

She hesitates grabbing a piece of round Haroun bread and dried chokie. It'll be strange without Chewbacca lumbering around the base. He'd returned to Kashyyyk before Rey left for Tatooine, saying that he wanted to see his home world and find his family. She wept into his fur, understanding the isolation while everyone else went on with their lives.

It'll be strange going back to the base. Poe is busy with leadership. Finn too. And trying to make heads or tails of The Force. He'll have a million questions once he learns about the imposed silence on her end. As if she can answer.

Across the counter, the glass in the sink clatters. Rey furrows her brows. "Is there a Saralacc nearby or something?" BB-8 replies that he hasn't detected any movement.

A wind gust flings the door wide open and it crashes into the wall. In the courtyard, sand spins in a vortex, pelting Rey's skin as she tries to shove the door closed.

Rey…

The door crashes against the stucco again after she lets go and steps into the furious sandstorm. She can hear BB-8 and D-O behind her, but she stretches out her hand and The Force. "Ben!" Rey shields her eyes and yells, only to get a mouthful of grit. She sinks to her knees, feeling nothing but stillness from The Force. Dropping her head to her chest, she places both palms to the ground.

"Be with me," she whispers. "Be with me." She feels each grain of sand fall as The Force tucks her into its power. Serenity settles into her very being, thrumming with life.

Rey is cold and the sky is dotted with stars when she looks up. Her knees throb when she struggles to stand. BB-8 chatters from the doorway. "I'm okay," she says, voice graveled and low. He rolls near her when she returns to the kitchen. "No, it's alright. I think I need to eat." The bread and chokie are still on the counter.

She feels the sound deaden before anything else. "You should eat."

Rey grabs the edge of the tile. If she turns, he'll disappear like a dream. It hurts to swallow and tears spring into her eyes. She hasn't heard that voice in three hundred sixty-eight days—a full year, even though she tried to forget the day.

"Rey?"

"If I face you, you will still be…" No. She chokes on the word.

"Dead. Yes. But I'm here now." His voice is closer now, behind her.

"I can't even feel you in The Force. I feel nothing." Tears plop down next to her hands. She makes two fists and takes a shaky sigh. She yearns to see him, desperate to fill the longing in her heart.

"You brought me here."

She looks to the wall before straightening. It is a slow and measured turn and she holds her breath.

He is blue and translucent. But he is Ben, eyes speaking before he smiles. And the sight breaks a sob from deep within her. Rey clutches the countertop to keep herself from running to and quite possibly through him. "Ben," she finally breathes out. "How are you here?"

His shoulders shrug. "I heard you. I've always heard you. Different parts of your day, when you're cursing the moisture collectors or telling your droids what you've made for dinner."

"If you've been here, why haven't you come before?" She pushes forward, a tentative step toward him.

"I don't know. I wasn't here, Rey, I just heard you. I don't even know where I was." He's dressed in black, of course, long sleeves to his wrist. This is what he was wearing when they were together. "Maybe it's The Force," he says, startling her. "Or the dyad between us."

"You and Palpatine said it like I should know what it means. I don't. Even after looking in Master Luke's old books and on the holonet."

"I doubt you would ever find it because it is strictly from Sith lore. It spoke of two people who formed a connection that spanned over space and time. Their connection was as strong as life itself." Ben moves closer. If he was flesh, she could smell him, touch his hand—his face.

"If we were that powerful, why couldn't I save you?" Fresh tears trail down her cheeks. She holds her breath when he reaches up to swipe them, and pulls back.

"You saved me from myself."

Rey scoffs, fists clenched at her side. "But I wanted time with you!" Her fury bubbles and toils in the pit of her stomach. "I wanted to be with you, Ben, and The Force took you from me—"

"No," he cuts her off. "I needed you to survive."

"We could've had time to figure it out."

His eyes widened. "They would've hunted me!"

"No!" Rey reaches up and lays her hand on his cheek. "We could have gone far, far away."

Ben stills, his blue aura fading. "Rey…" He slowly lifted his hand to hers.

It is like Ahch-To again.

Rey gasps, watching her thumb stroke his jawline in tiny movements. Her eyes shift to his. "How?"

His lips tip into a grin and his eyebrows raise. "Dyad?"

And before he can disappear back into The Force, Rey kisses Ben. With her lips, her heart, her soul. With every thought of love that she can pour into their connection. Until the movement she falters forward and her eyes snap open.

He is fading into the light.

"No, Ben, please." She covers her mouth, as if to capture the feeling, to bind him. He is nearly gone now, blending into the moonlight of the open doorway. "Be with me."

Always…

The sands shift over the threshold with a warm breeze.

D-O rolls to the open doorway. "Person here."

Rey smiles. "Yes, D-O. He was."

Much thanks to Wookiepedia for my Star Wars research. Ben Solo deserved better, but at least we saw that smile. ~JS