Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or any recognizable characters portrayed in this story. The recognizable characters in this story belong to ABC Studios & Shonda Rhimes. I intend no copyright infringement. The characters are just borrowed for entertainment.

Chapter 16

if the world was ending

"Congrats Dr. Torres!"

"Congrats Callie!"

"Great job Callie!"

"Congrats Dr. Torres!"

Every single attending was shaking my hand or passing by me to congratulate me. The chief was throwing a small party in the attendings room.

"I'd like to make a toast for Dr. Callie Torres. Nine months ago when she joined this hospital, I just knew we were enriching our team with a brilliant doctor but I could never imagine her incredible contribution to this hospital as well as the lives of the amputees and the veterans." The chief was certainly more cheerful than I was.

Rajesh was a little bit late to the party because of his operation and approached me just after the toast. "Woohoo, Callie! I've never heard the chief praising anyone like this before."

"He is praising the hundred fifty million dollars, the second stage of the project. He'll be able to fund extra residents as part of the program and gain a special lab with the latest MRIs, 3 d printers. Basically this hospital will be the world's future orthopedic surgery and robotic limbs center."

"Thanks to you! Congrats," he said cheerfully.

"Thank you!" I said and smiled.

"Why aren't you over the moon?" he asked.

"I am" I lied. I didn't want to tell anyone even Raj, that the last months have been the longest I haven't seen Sofia, we were both longing for each other, she was crying on the phone, me after the phone every night.

"Sure," he said and picked his phone.

"Hello Saanvi, I'll be late tonight. You go and have your dinner, honey… Thank you." He briefly talked on the phone.

"What are you doing?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm taking you to dinner and dancing. And we are celebrating your monumental success!" he announced cheerfully.

"No, not necessary Raj. Your family is waiting for you." I said. I really wasn't in the fun mood and I didn't want him to change his plans for me.

"Do you have other plans?" he asked.

"Yeah. I've been struggling to choose between all the options lately!" I chuckled.

"Okay then…" he said.

"We don't need to go out," I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"We can stay in, just order a pizza…" I suggested.

"Pizza?! How old are we?" He picked his phone again." Hey Saanvi, change of plans. I convinced Callie to join us for dinner. We are celebrating her hundred fifty million-dollar success with your wonderful dishes tonight… Do you need me to pick up anything?... Ok. We'll be home in an hour."

"Seriously? Do you even know if she wants to meet me? Or if she had cooked enough food?" I asked.

"She is the best chef in New York. For me in the world. You will see what I mean tonight. I never thought you were the type who wants to stay in. I thought you are the fun, let's hang outside, dancing queen type." He said.

"I am. I was. I am." I hesitantly answered.

"She has been curious about you for a while and she was looking forward to meeting you anyway." He replied.

"Why? What did you tell her about me Rajesh?!" I asked.

…

After the delicious dinner, I helped Saanvi in the kitchen.

"Rajesh is right. You are the best chef in the world and this is the best dinner I had for I don't know how long" I said.

"Thank you." She chuckled and continued, "And you are as beautiful as Raj says. I would introduce you to my brother if you weren't already taken."

"Thank you and I'm not taken. Actually I am quite lonely for the last few months. Tonight was really something for me. Thank you for having me." I said sincerely.

"Anytime. You are welcomed here anytime. And the fact you may be lonely for a few months doesn't change the reality that you already are taken." She said.

"What did Raj tell you for God's sakes? I wish I knew how and by whom I was taken!" I said.

"The grey sweater, Minnesota, of course. Raj tells me everything, everything, even the things you might have forgotten because you were drunk." She laughed.

"It's nonsense. It's been a few years since we divorced. He must have misunderstood me." I replied in a panic. What was she talking about?!

"Hahaha. Darling he may be selfish sometimes or arrogant like most of you surgeons but he is certainly the most intelligent man and the wisest man anyone can meet." Saanvi told me everything I did when I was drunk, everything I didn't remember; making a fuss about the grey sweater, calling Bailey to learn about Eliza Minnick, being the bulldozer… Shame on Rajesh for not telling me anything and telling all to his wife! I got so much embarrassed by everything. Thank God there was something about Saanvi that was soothing you just like her husband. I was so surprised that they were fighting so much. She was very different from what I imagined from Raj's stories. She had been a successful philosophy and literature teaching assistant at Columbia University when she got pregnant for their first son and drop out of her program because Raj was busy with his fellowship and was no help for the baby. When Raj was accepted to John Hopkins, she had to move to Baltimore just a few months after her professor gave her another chance at the university. With the second and the third kid, she had to devote her life to her kids while Rajesh was getting to be this busy brilliant surgeon he is now.

"Wow! Rajesh told me many times he has been in love with you but he somehow left out these parts you just told."

She chuckled. "Every story has at least two perspectives, if not more."

"You gave up a lot for him, for this marriage. Do you regret it?" I asked.

"No. Even I asked for a divorce in the heat of the moment sometimes, I can't imagine my life without him. Besides, your dreams and priorities change with ... or for the right person. " she replied.

"Still it must have been very difficult," I said.

"Well,… he gave up some things as well but I don't like calling them giving up. I don't think there can be anyone who turns to ninety years old and says nothing ever happened in my life. I mean look at your life. Everybody struggles. Every relationship is hard."

"So there is no happy romance? Fun life? Very gloomy!" I asked sarcastically.

"Of course there are happy romances but none is always fun. You can't always have fun. I recently read this book… The prophet by… what was his name… Gibran… he was saying joy and sorrow are inseparable. Deeper your cup holds sorrow, deeper it holds joy. I think just like life, it is pretty much the same as the relationships. You need both sorrow and joy… for balance. For me, it is Raj who hurt me the most and made me happier than any spouse could. In any case… I usually think about what I would want and what I would regret if the world was ending. It gives you a better perspective than what you have during daily struggles. I always end up wanting Raj by myself for holding me tight." She was talking with a dreamy face that I envied.

"You two are a strange version of Romeo and Juliet!" I laughed.

"Yes! What would be their story, their relationship if they lived? We'll never know. Maybe they'll be just like you and Minnesota!" she said.

…

If the world was ending who would I want by myself for holding me tight? Will she be the one who hurt me the most, made me happier than the whole world?

…

"Hello, mama! We went to the zoo today! Mommy took a picture of me with the giraffe!" Sofia was holding one iPad in one hand and Arizona's phone on the other hand. She was showing me her zoo pictures and looking for the giraffe picture. "mommy! I can't find the giraffe picture! I want to show it to mama!" She screamed.

"I'm in the shower Sofia!" Arizona screamed back.

My mini-me was as stubborn as I was and went through hundreds of pictures and then pressed another button to pass to another file that opened the pictures of Arizona with a brunette who looked a little bit like Cindy Crawford. She always had a thing for Cindy Crawford. The orgasm doctor was beautiful! They looked happy. Arizona wasn't only smiling from her cheeks with her beautiful dimples but also with her eyes. Will there be any point in my life that I won't feel like "this"?! If the world was ending, she would be holding someone else tight!

Then Sofia clicked another file that didn't open but asked for a password. "Mama do you know the password?" she asked. I was extremely intrigued but what if it was, I don't know some naughty naked pictures? Neither Sofia nor I was ready for this shock. But I was very curious. "What the h…! try one seven zero one" Arizona mostly used Tim's birthday as her password.

"It didn't work mama!" Sofia said.

Then we tried her birthday and Sofia's but got no results. She was probably using Dr. Orgasm Crawford's birthday now.

Then Sofia clicked four numbers I couldn't see and the file opened.

"Yes!" she screamed with joy.

"What did you click Mija?" I asked.

"Your birthday! Three one zero eight. You were trying birthdays, right mama?" My daughter was a smart cookie!

"Yes, my smart cookie!" I exclaimed.

She smiled with joy and showed me the pictures in the file. I was speechless! They were our pictures; pictures of our happiest moments! I had erased all of them from my mobile because it was too painful to have them and I thought I needed to clear the space to use for the new happy relationships which I never really had, nothing even slightly close to the happiness seen in these beautiful pictures… She never deleted them… and saved them with my birthday…

"You are both very pretty mama!" Sofia said.

Then we heard her voice" Sofia, have you find the giraffe picture?"

"No mommy!" Sofia handed her the phone with our wedding photo on the screen.

"How did you…" she didn't complete her question. I heard a few clicks and "here you go! I want to talk to your mama after you. Don't hang up!"

What was it?

…

"Hey Callie," she said.

"Hi," I said.

"Do you have a few minutes?" she asked hesitantly. It had been a few months since our last conversation.

"Sure." What was it she wanted to talk about? Did she want to introduce Dr. Orgasm to Sofia? Or was she getting married?

"I… I don't know what to do. How did you do?" she asked.

"About what? What is it, Arizona?" I asked.

"Sofia… Sofia isn't happy here. She misses New York. She missed you. I don't know. Did this happen in New York with you? What did you do?" she asked softly.

How would I explain to Arizona that I hadn't been aware of her unhappiness for a long time? Arizona's voice was sincere, soft, sad, and… not distanced. Maybe Sofia was the only place we didn't grow apart from each other.

"Did she say she hated you?" I asked boldly.

"No." she replied.

"Well, you are already a few steps ahead of me." I chuckled sadly.

"… no, but she is very unhappy. She doesn't want to go to school. I have to do lots of cuddling to convince her to go to school…" She sounded broken and I didn't have any solutions to offer. I was the reason for my daughter's and her unhappiness, actually for our unhappiness. We shared a heavy silence for a minute.

"Just tell her to go to school," I said finally." I… I really don't know what to say, Arizona. I wish I could fix this whole mess I created." My voice wasn't good at hiding my brokenness.

"Hey! It's ok. It's ok. I'm just… I just feel like… I just can't help her and… I feel like I am an enormous failure as a parent." She said.

I knew how she was feeling even before she spoke it out loud, just as she knew me.

…

"And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do"

...

AN: Thank you very much for all the reviews. They mean a lot to me.

I wrote this chapter while I was listening to "if the world was ending" by JP Saxe and Julia Micheals.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And yes sunny days are very close to Calzona.