Note from the Author's:

Happy New Year to you all!

Please forgive the delay in updates. To all those readers who sent me those lovely comments of support and asking if I would ever continue this, this one's for you.

To all new readers, welcome. Come and stay awhile.

The first eight chapters were written with the valuable help of IfUKnewUCouldNotFail. You are an inspiration and you helped me more than I can describe! Thank you!

From chapter 9, Rebecca becomes the joint efforts of Acalanto and JOYS of October .Thank you both for your input and for keeping me on track.

Disclaimer: We don't own The Last Ship, unfortunately… No profit made…unfortunately. Just for fun, fortunately for everyone! :-D

Chapter 1: The Concern of Friends and Family

Ashley and Sam were excited to see their father. They did not talk about anything else. On the plane carrying them to St. Louis, they would not stop chattering away.

Since learning of Dr. Scott's tragic death, Jed was preoccupied. He knew that Tom had cared about her more than he had wanted to admit.

"Grandpa, you are not listening." Sam complained.

"Sorry Sammy, look kids, we're here."

The plane getting ready for landing distracted the two for a moment.

It didn't last, of course. Soon they were back to talking a mile a minute.

"Will we stay on the ship?" Asked Sam.

"The ship is in dry dock, silly." Said his sister.

"We will stay in a house, guys. Your father has organized everything, each of you will have your room, and I have explained this to you."

"Can we bring things from the old house?" Sam piped in.

"Sam, what is important here is your father, and our family finally being together again."

"Sure." Replied Sam, though he did not seem convinced.

When the plane finally landed, Tom was there to greet his newly arrived family. He had missed them…and feared for them, so much…

Ashley shouted when she saw her father. Tom bent down and hugged her and then her brother.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Sam asked, an assessing look on his face, quite uncharacteristic for either the boy or his age.

"I am fine Son, don't worry about me, just my old bones." He blew off the question, slightly troubled that his youngest had apparently so quickly looked at him and seen a problem.

Though apparently his answer had satisfied the boy. After a moment he continued enthusiastically. "Dad, we came in a really big plane, and it was all just for us! Cool, huh?"

Tom ruffled his son's hair. "Very cool, Sammy. C'mon, our car is waiting." Tom indicated for his entire family to follow him.

Two men were waiting in the car.

"Dad, kids, this is Cruz and Wolf." Tom introduced.

Brief pleasantries were exchanged by all. Tom smiled proudly, but sadly, at his children's polite and formal greetings to the two new men…Darien's influence right there.

It wasn't the first time, and Tom knew it wouldn't be the last time, that he would be painfully reminded of his wife's influence...and passing. But at least where his wife's loss was concerned, he was choosing, with some success, to focus on the positive…on her two greatest creations and legacies that were now back with him where they belonged.

He wished he could attest to such progress in his anguish for another woman…a woman who had not been his wife, or even his lover…but he could not. He remained mired.

The children were still chattering about their trip, their new home, and about the things from their old house. Tom did all the right things; answered their questions, drew Ashley's attention when she pestered her brother, he was patient when he should be, smiled at the right times.

However, Jed wasn't fooled, something was very wrong…and he had known exactly what it was even before landing, he had just not known it would be this bad. Jed continued to study his son carefully during his interaction with his children. It wasn't overt, but when the truth hit him, it hit him like a tone of bricks. His son looked like an empty shell, even worse than their time in Baltimore. His smile never reached his eyes at all…it was all just a complete façade.

It would have been easy to assume that his daughter-in-laws not so long ago demise was the reason for his son's current state, but Jed knew better. He had spoken to his son, seen him over vid chat. Progress had been made since that terrible time of loss. Now what he was witnessing was that it was all gone, and then some…

When they got to new house, the children were the first out of the car. Jed tried to stop them, but Tom waved him off, saying it was ok. The two men followed the exuberant children into the house.

Besides the two soldiers who had accompanied them, whom he had noted with satisfaction seemed very alert and at work outside, Jed hadn't see any other security on the perimeter.

The house was one-story, spacious and well lit, the children ran to see their new rooms.

"All the surrounding houses are occupied by crewmembers. This fact increases our security." Tom explained.

The children returned happy.

"I like my green room." Exclaimed Sam.

"Mine is more beautiful, it is blue like the sea." Said Ashley.

"Well, at least we have one more representative of the army in this family." Jed said with a smirk. The joke was old and always caused a response from Tom, but not this time.

"I prefer the Navy, like Dad." Said Ashley, taking her usual part in the old argument.

"You can both do whatever you want when you grow up, of course." Tom smiled indulgently once again, and again the smile did not reach his eyes…

"Can we go outside, Dad? See around the other houses and other places?" Sam asked excitedly.

"I'm afraid I have to get back to work pretty soon, mate." Tom told his son, he saw the disappointment in the boys face. It was far from the first time he had seen disappointment in his children's eyes when his commitments and responsibilities had taken him away from them.

But it hurt more now, because in truth, even without those commitments, Tom didn't feel like the whole person who could be and give them what they needed anyway…he felt like he was faking it…which he was.

Thinking of at least a very temporary solution to the current problem, Tom went and opened the front door and called to Tex who he knew would nearby.

He hadn't exactly lied to his father, Tex did indeed live very nearby and he wasn't exactly officially on duty today…but he also kind of was. The other man had easily identified Tom's particular anxiety about security today, after what happened to Rachel, and with his family's imminent arrival. And he had made it clear that he was going to be 'around' all day today...unofficially, of course.

And he was, the other man took no more than a moment to appear, as if from the ether.

Tom wasn't remotely surprised at the other man's almost instant appearance, and simply made his request. "Tex, can you please take these two for a spin, show them around a bit?" He indicated his children who had joined him.

Tex didn't need to be told twice, helping out was what he was here for, and of course the command 'protect with your life' was implicit and didn't need to be given voice.

'Of course. c'mon, I know the coolest places." He reached out to Ashley and Sam and bowed theatrically. "Miss and my lord, I will be your host on this wonderful journey."

The children laughed at Tex's antics, immediately at ease.

Tom was glad that at least his children seemed were happy now.

Once Tex and the children were gone and he and his father were alone for the first time since their reunion, Tom immediately felt his father's eyes on him, and knew he would not be able to return…escape…back to work, as quickly as he had hoped.

He would not be able to avoid the questions…the well-meaning concerns. He sighed heavily…weary of it all.

"Are you Ok?"

"The wound is healing well, Dad." Tom replied, very deliberately misinterpreting his father's query.

"I am not talking about that injury." Jed replied significantly.

"Then what are you talking about, Dad? I have lost many people during this mission; want me to enumerate the names of them all?" Tom's voice was calm, as if reciting well-rehearsed history.

This was not normal, not for his son, Jed thought.

"That is bullshit! She was not one of your soldiers, Tom." Jed said, raising his voice, absolutely refusing to be put off, as his son was clearly trying to do.

"And so what?" His voice was still erroneously calm. "We are at war. She was a casualty of that war. She is gone, after her kidnapping…they killed her." His voice hitched as if the words had a significantly bitter taste…but at least it was a sign of emotion. "The past is irreversible." He stated with miserable finality.

"You may be able to sell that story to others, but we are talking about Rachel. I did not help raise a coward who runs away from his pain like this."

Tom wavered at his father's words.

Jed saw the opening and pressed on. ''Talk to me, Son, please..."

Tom took a deep breath, a dark shadow passed through his mind and his eyes took on a far away look. He took so long to answer that Jed thought he wasn't going to.

When he finally did, his voice was so low that the older man had to lean forward to hear him.

"When I think of Darien's death, I imagine her pain, the marks spread over her body, the fever, the delirium, the despair she must have felt at the thought that our children were condemned to death also." His voice grew louder, even more mournful.

"Now I have other images in my head, another woman…burning... I wonder if she was aware as the fire began to burn her body. If she screamed for help, if she choked on the smoke, if she died immediately or if her death was slow and agonizing too."

"Jesus Christ, Tom…" Jed exclaimed, horrified at his sons thoughts.

"It was not your fault, son." He went on to try and alleviate his son's demons.

"Like hell, it wasn't! It was my job to protect her and I failed! They kidnapped her, from right under my nose!" His abundant guilt over that particular aspect of events was painfully clear.

"Tom, the only people to blame for what happened are the Immunes, they..." Jed did not get to finish the sentence.

''Oh, you can be sure that I blame them, Dad. They will pay!" He ground out sharply.

Tom's gaze could freeze hell. Instinctively Jed backed away. He realized, not for the first time, that his son could be a dangerous and implacable opponent. He would not want to be in the shoes of his son's enemies, not for the world…

Jed didn't know which was worse, the complete lack of any tender emotion or the pure unadulterated hatred that he was witnessing right now.

For Tom, things had always been black or white, right or wrong, good or bad, without any gray area in between. Now Jed was very much afraid that his son had crossed a line that he could not come back from.

Jed worried about that pure hatred he saw in his son's eyes. He was scared witless himself, had lost two children to this virus, and a daughter-in-law, and now he very much feared losing his last child, to an unquenchable lust for revenge.

"Tom, Rachel would not want you to sink into this despair, into a desire only for revenge. Your mother and I created you and your siblings to be better than that!"

"You don't know what Rachel would want, Dad. She's dead!" He shouted.

"Who are you angry at, Tom? At the Immunes for causing the accident that killed Rachel or yourself for not being able to talk to her about the two of you while you still had a chance?"

Immediately Jed felt his son begin to shut down, shut off, both physically and emotionally.

"I have to go to work, don't expect me for dinner." His voice was now devoid of all emotion.

"Tom, wait…" Jed tried.

"No! That's enough, Dad!" Upset, Tom slammed the door and left.

In the minutes after Tom left, Jed decided he needed to find a way to help his son. He decided to talk to Mike about it.

When Tex returned with his grandchildren a little while later, he asked the other man to stay with the kids for a while longer. The other man readily agreed, and the children seemed fine with the prolonged arrangement too, having clearly taken a liking to the big man-child.

Jed found Mike in the command center that had been set up to organize the production of the vaccine. The place swarmed with activity, security was tight. The Immunes were dangerous, as evidenced by the kidnapping of Dr. Scott.

"Hey, Mike. Can we talk?"

"Hey, Jed. Good to see you, sure, this way." He indicated the older man to follow him to a private room. "It's good that you and the kids are here now, Tom has been concerned about your safety with you guys being so far away, and...well, maybe now that you're here you can…help him." He finished lamely.

"So you are worried about him, too? God, I've only been here a matter of hours and I can see how bad it is, he hadn't done anything reckless, has he?" The fear in his voice was the fear that the situation might actually be even worse than his initial grave first impressions.

"No, it's nothing like that. People are far more afraid for his wellbeing, not ours. He's still the leader he's always been. He is just acting so calm about the whole situation, cold, really. But it can't last, since she died, it's been like a time bomb or a volcano about to erupt around here. I tried to talk to him, but he refuses, he says it's past...won't say any more than that, but its clearly far from past for him." Mike finished his explanation succinctly, his displeasure about the realities in his retelling evident.

"Well, he spoke to me, or rather shouted. He keeps picturing Rachel's body on fire, he wonders if she died quickly, or if she died a slow and agonizing death. I tried to tell him it was not his fault." Jed recited in despair.

"Oh, God! But at least he finally reacted, even if it was screaming. This could really help him relieve some pressure. You made him actually talk about what happened! That's a win! He has been refusing to talk to anyone for all this time."

"Well, when you put it like that I guess it didn't go too badly then, but I went too far. I tried to make him admit what he felt for Rachel. I tried to make him see that some of the anger he is feeling is because he loved her."

Mike laughed but it was a hollow laugh. "Jed, you're a brave man. I can't imagine Tom took that very well at all."

"No, he didn't. It effectively ended the conversation. He yelled and slammed the door on his way out. Mike, I am worried, this situation is destroying him."

"He has not been very vocal lately. Except to give very clipped orders about work, of course. And he has worked to exhaustion. He loves you and the kids, Jed. The crew is important to him, maybe we can use that sense of responsibility that is so ingrained in him, to somehow help him out of this."

"Thank you, Mike, he will need all the help we can offer." Jed was genuinely glad to have a real ally in this, he felt his son would need all the help he could muster for him.

A soldier approached. "Sorry to interrupt you, Sir."

"I'll head back to the house, I left the kids with Tex..."

"Don't worry too much, Jed. We'll find a way to help Tom through this. Maybe we can talk to the Master Chief too, he might have some ideas to help."

Jed smiled a sad smile, nodded and left.

Mike thought of all the dangers that Tom had faced: explosions, gunfire, captivity on the Russian ship, terrorists at Guantanamo, death and shrapnel on the oilrig. Of all those losses and hardships, what was so very different this time? In his heart he already knew the answer and he grieved for his friend to have lost not one but two great loves in so short a time.

Mike took a deep breath and returned to work.