Author's note: This story was directly inspired by "Survivor Resident Evil Style" by Wesker Chick and is departure from my normal writting style so in advance, i am sorry if story will seem awkward for the first few chapters. It's just that i've never written humor fic before. Also, story will include OC's from my original story series started in "GTA: Going Deep", so if you are confused about some characters, read it first. Also concerning the series, this fic is NOT canon part of it. Constructive criticism and writting tips are strongly encouraged.

Camera pans over the island off the estern coast of Cuba, showing us thick rainforest covering most of the island, save for some waterfalls fading off in the distance as well as wide, sandy beach surrounding the island like a ring.

As camera circles the island, booming male voice in the background says "Twelve criminals from urban bowels of United States Of America will be thrown into mostly untapped wilderness of Guarma with their survival skills, as well as sanity being put on the ultimate test as they all try to win 1 million dollars. As well as those sweet, sweet bragging rights. Join us and watch the madness ensue."

As the message ended, large logo reading "Survivor: Guarma" faded into the center of the screen.

Siniša Kivlov took a deep breath, faint smell of sand and sea filling up his nostrils. If it wasn't for the severe payment cuts in LCPD due to some assholes killing so many police officers and costing the department millions in damages, he would never set foot on this mosquito-infested piece of land in the middle of nowhere. But he needed the money and hosting this season of Survivor was his best bet for a legitimate pay.

"Time to get on with this." Kivlov sighed. He was standing near the stage set up on the beach with the back of the stage being covered in black curtains with Survivor logo. He was not alone, as there were numerous cameras placed around the stage, broadcasting the opening episode of the season to the whole world.

With that in mind, Kivlov was certain that Mikki and Ray were having a blast back in LC watching him shuffle uncomfortably in front of the camera while mentally going over his clipboard containing the names of contestants.

Having prepared enough, Kivlov cringed one last time before he finally faced the camera and started the introduction "Good evening, dear viewers at home and welcome to the newest season of Survivor. I am your host, Siniša Kivlov and i will follow our twelve lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it) contestants through the season filled with drama, agony, hope and most importantly, pain until only one remains who will claim one million dollars cash prize kindly provided by our sponsors, Zaibatsu Corporation." As he says that, Zaibatsu's logo pops in the corner of the screen.

After a brief pause, Kivlov clears his throat and continues. "Now, for unaquainted at home, here's the rules. Contestants will be split into two tribes consisting of six people each. Those tribes will fight for the immunity in the immunity challenges devised by yours truly with losing tribe being sent to the tribal council in order to vote off one member each week. After each tribe loses three members, they will be merged into one and individual battles for the immunity will begin until only one contestant remains."

As Kivlov opened his mouth to continue explaining the rules, a female staff member runs out in front of him and whispers something in his ear. Kivlov nods before turning back to the camera.

"Well, apparently my exposition was too long and one of the contestants had a heat stroke. Guess that happens when you organize the reality show in *BEEPING* CUBA!" Kivlov said and chuckled slightly. Mosquitoes that kept buzzing around his head and severe heat of the Central American afternoon were already tearing him apart on the inside.

"Actually, we're on the second island east of Cuba, Kivlov!" someone yelled off the camera. They weren't helping Kivlov's case at all.

Instead of walking off camera and smacking unseen smartass over the head with geography book like he wanted, Kivlov sighed and lifted his clipboard to his eye level before saying "Now, at last, let's introduce the contestants." To be honest, he sounded like someone deflated all life out of him, but you would too if you were forced to stand in severe heat for several hours.

"Alrighty then, first member of 3D Tribe is notorious assassin from Liberty City who is known for being truly devoted to only two things in his life-his sniper rifle and his 2001 Vapid Banshee. He is everyone's favourite mute, Claude!"

As Kivlov said that, Claude walked out on the stage beside him and nodded slightly towards the camera in the lieu of greeting. He was dressed in black T-shirt, beige cargo shorts and flip-flops. He silently walked onto the other end of the stage, looking towards the curtain for his would-be tribemates.

"Second member of 3D Tribe is Italian-American drug lord from Vice City known for his temper as well as his hawaiian shirt, he is Tommy "The Harwood Butcher" Vercetti!" Kivlov announced the next contestant, double-checking his card. It indeed said "The Harwood Butcher". As he realized that, Kivlov felt pit forming in his gut. Someone won't be leaving this island alive.

Tommy, wearing his trademark hawaiian polo shirt with green shorts and grey sandals walked out on the stage and waved towards the camera before turning towards Kivlov and pulling him close to himself, whispering in his ear "If you mention that nickname again on this show, one of the immunity challenges will be to find and assemble your body parts, capiche?"

"Crystal." Kivlov said before Tommy moved away from him and joined Claude. As he did, Kivlov mentally repeated his earlier observation. "Someone won't be leaving this island alive, and that just might be me."

Kivlov took a deep breath in and out before consulting his cards again "Our third contestant comes from Los Santos, USA. He is music producer and casino owner with previous ties to notorious street gang, Grove Street Families who despite his business success spawning all the way from Los Santos to Las Venturas has never really forgotten his roots. He is Carl "CJ" Johnson!"

Carl walked out onto the stage wearing dark green shorts, white tank top and flip-flops. As he walked out, he let out a sigh of relief. "Thank lord they let me out of there. If i had to spend one more minute with that guy complaining that his head hurts i would've-" he stopped as he realized he was in front of the cameras, clearing his throat and briefly saying "I hope you're watching, Sweet!" towards the camera before making a beeline towards Claude and Tommy. Kivlov looked on as Carl briefly talked to Claude before throwing himself around the mute's neck with our host barely making out what sounded like gargled "thank you" from Carl as Tommy slowly backed up from the scene while Claude looked around slightly wide-eyed with muscular african-american clinging on him like a five-year old.

After tearing his eyes from that rather bizzare scene, Kivlov turned back to the camera and looked back at his clipboard "Ok, fourth member of the 3D Tribe is former street criminal from Liberty City who left for Colombia after ravaging his way through most of the LC's criminal underworld, his name is Mike!"

Mike walked out onto the stage wearing white T-shirt, brown khaki shorts and sandals. He quickly took a look at his surroundings and tapped Kivlov's shoulder in the lieu of greeting before walking over to his tribemates.

"Interesting guy." Kivlov muttered to himself before consulting his clipboard again "Fifth contestant of the 3D Tribe is second man of Liberty City-based Leone Crime Family and everyone's favourite momma's boy, Toni Cipriani!"

As he said that, Kivlov was pulled aside by the staff member briefly before being shoved back in front of the camera. After clearing his throat, Kivlov faces the camera. "Well, it seems that Toni Cipriani was the contestant that suffered the heat stroke and due to this he won't be put in the show right away. Instead, until he recovers, his spot in the 3D Tribe will be taken by one of the replacements provided by Zaibatsu's genetics division." After that, Kivlov took a card given to him by an unseen staff member off-camera and cleared his throat "Our replacment fifth contestant is famous gunslinger and former member of the infamous Van Der Linde outlaw gang who lived in the early 20th century and was famed for his involvement in stopping 1911 North Mexican riots and who was untimely killed after FBI agents and US army laid siege to his family home later that year. Having been revived through power of modern genetic technology over a century after his death, he will fight for survival along with the rest of the contestants, we give you John Marston!"

As if on cue, an unseen pair of hands shoved John Marston onto the stage. He was dressed in relatively modern outfit consisting of jeans, grey tank top and light sneakers. He also wore his trademark hat. It should be mentioned that revived John only held memories up to the point when he originally died, which means that he is unaware of some of the modern advancements.

John looked around himself, obviously trying to hide confusion and fear. Noticing that Zaibatsu personnel obviously did very bad job at preparing poor man for the horrors of the late 2010s reality television, Kivlov approached him.

"Hey, Mr. Marston. Do you need-" Kivlov tried to approach the former outlaw but was interrupted as John suddently turned to him, grabbing him by the shoulders and asked "Where the hell am i and what's going on? Last thing i remember was being dragged through some hallway and then being shoved out here."

Kivlov sighed "Mr. Marston, this might be a bit shocking to you but you are in the future. It's 2019 and you are to contend in a live reality show with eleven other people." He felt sorry for the man who was over 100 years off his native timeline, but he had a job to do.

John answer to Kivlov's brief exposition was to slowly repeat "Reality show?" His head was probably still fuzzy from all of the sedatives that Zaibatsu had to use to stop him from trying to break out of their complex in Anywhere City four times.

"Yes. It's broadcasted all over the world in real time. And modern people love good reality television." Kivlov said matter-of-factly before quickly remembering...

"And just what's a television?" John asked plainly. Kivlov pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt like he was explaining something to a three-year old. And he still had seven contestants to announce while sun kept shelling beach of Guarma with heat-stroke inducing UV rays. He briefly glanced towards four contestants who have taken to sitting on the edge of the stage with Carl chatting with Tommy and Mike while Claude was intently watching Kivlov's exchange with John.

"Television is a device which allows person to see something interesting. And in this case, it will be you and others competing for 1 million dollars." Kivlov said briefly. He watched on as John's jaw practically hit the floor at the mention of 1 million dollars. Along with being unaware of advent of television, John Marston was also unaware of the inflation effect.

As Kivlov opened his mouth to say something, but was stopped as staff member rushed in front of him to give him another card. Kivlov briefly looked over it and said "And in addition to the money, should you win, Zaibatsu will revive your wife and son the same way they did you, Mr. Marston."

John looked at Kivlov, then at his future tribemates who were now all looking in his direction and said "Let's see what this reality television *BEEP* is then." before walking over towards four of his tribemates.

Kivlov let out a relived sigh as he looked at his clipboard again "Sixth and final member of the 3D Tribe is another drug lord from Vice City. One of notorious names of the early 1980s, he is Victor Vance!"

Victor walked out on the stage wearing his USMC shirt and black shorts with the same lettering along with flip-flops. He tapped Kivlov on the shoulder in greeting before turning to the camera and saying "Just to clarify, i wasn't the one who got killed on the Vice City docks in '86. So stop spreading lies on the internet, people!" With that, he walked over to his tribemates.

Kivlov looked at the camera. He looked like he was going to collapse any second. "Now that we've met 3D Tribe, it's time for commercial break, dear viewers. After we get back, we'll meet six members of the HD Tribe. So stay tuned and... Oh God i need a drink...

NEXT UP:

•HD Tribe assembles

TO BE CONTINUED...