Chapter 3:

Michael looked at her skeptically. It was different from the time when he was Jason on the ferris wheel, the frustration was there, but this time there was fear, she feared pressuring him, she feared his guard being back up and most importantly she feared losing him. So she waited, and if it was the man she once knew so well, she'd doubt he'd sensed the unease and was teasing her.

Michael took a big resigned sigh "Icantfeelpain". All Jane heard was an indistinct whisper and if she hadn't seen his lips move she wouldn't believe he said anything. "What?" Jane's face was scrunched she was trying to focus everything in her to hear his words.

"I..uh" Michael shut his eyes and faced down "I can no longer feel pain."

"What?" She heard it perfectly fine this time, that didn't mean she understood it.

"Yeah, Rose's cherry on top". There it was again the smile that was not Michael's, it didn't reach his eyes, scratch that, it was like she was looking at one of those pictures where you might either see an old woman or a young woman, and once you find one it becomes incredibly hard to see the other until someone points it out, and then you start wondering where was the image you saw in the first place. She saw the smile first and for a second she thought he was joking, but the look in his eyes gutted her, and she couldn't for the life of her understand how she could have missed it. Because it was there the whole time that pain was in his eyes, but she couldn't see it, yet now she couldn't unsee it.

"How..uh…how?" it was her turn to stumble.

"The brain is an inexact science." Michael said that in the slowest drawl possible, gesturing to his head. "Turns out there are side effects from repeatedly frying my brain to wipe my memories, other than, y'know, wiping my memories."

"Did you know, when you were in Miami?" Jane hated herself, Michael was sharing something personal and here she was wondering if he'd lied to her. Michael didn't seem bothered by this.

"No, I found out later."

"How did you not know?" she didn't want it to come out interrogative or skeptical but Jane felt the need to understand, too many questions were swarming in her head and she felt better concentrating on the factual ones. Michael closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his right hand.

"Well, you know, when you've been led to believe that you are a horrible villain on the run who somehow earned being stranded in the middle of nowhere with no one recognizing you, you tend to avoid hospitals." Jane was taken aback by the bite in his tone "Besides, not feeling pain didn't really strike as a cause of concern, or a valid reason for risking getting caught.", Michael was whisper-shouting by the end of it, Jane flinched and with his next words Michael confirmed that her flinch was visible.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone off on you like that, it's just that… I thought you of all people would understand, you know what happened."

"I didn't mean to upset you Michael, it's just a little too hard to take, you have to understand." Jane said pleadingly, he scoffed.

"I don't, I don't have" Michael enunciated that word "to understand anything, you don't either." He gestured to the waitress to bring the check.

"You're right, but I want to, I want to know"

Six years ago

Michael smiled at Charlie as she was bringing firewood after he finished pitching the tent, travelling across the country to meet his ex-wife before her second wedding to give her the rights to his life put them in a rough patch, she said that she could see a lingering in his eyes whenever he looked at Jane.

"Maybe" he said as they stood in her house.

"So you admit it, you admit you still have feelings for her."

"I do, I just don't know what those feelings are, I don't know if I still like her, or if I'm remembering what it was like, I don't know if anything I do is me anymore, I don't know who that is Michael or Jason or Rose's conditioning, I remember acting like the Michael I remember for the first year, but then I changed, I don't know whether to adapt or because I liked this life better than a shadow of a memory, I don't know." Michael was openly crying by the end of his speech and Charlie hugged him, with her eyes glazed over. "What about me?" her tone was filled with guarded hope.

"I love you, I'm sure of that." He smiled

"But, is it as much as you remember loving her?" how could he answer that the truth was no he wasn't sure he could love someone so wholeheartedly again, he changed, he was hurt and he needed to guard himself, he needed to put himself as his own first priority. He looked at her while pondering an answer, and the look on her face told him that his silence was answer enough, but then a look at her belly reminded him that there was already someone who'd be his first priority.

"I love you." He brought her hands to his lips. "I'm sorry I can't give you the answer you want, but I love you, you ground me and you know me and I need you, maybe it's selfish but I love you." He moved both their hands to her belly "And I love this baby, I love that he's my baby not Michael's not Jason's simply mine whoever I am."

"So there you have it." Michael got down on one knee and held her right hand and kissed her ring. "I've put this ring on your finger before you were disillusioned to what a selfish, broken bastard I am. Now I ask you again will you marry me, whoever I am?"

"Michael really was sappy." She said between her tears and her nods.

Thus, there they were camping, it was a beautiful day and by night time they started a fire, lounging next to it, enjoying the pleasant heat, then it happened.

"MICHAEL!" Michael looked around searching for a snake or a scorpion or anything that would elicit such a scream from Charlie, and then he saw it, his hand was still clutching the iron poker they use to stoke the fire, an old thing that lost it's insulating clutch, they agreed that they would use it quickly and keep it as far away from the fire as possible when it was not in use, he dropped it and looked at his hand an angry red mark ran across his right palm.

While telling his story Michael was absentmindedly rubbing his right palm with his left thumb, then he stopped and showed Jane his hand.

"I forgot what an easy crier you were."