Deserving Me

AU: What if Elena didn't forget her encounter with Damon 2x08? How would this change things, and will it give her a new perspective on him? Cannon universe until after the encounter.

Chapter 1: I Don't Deserve You

It felt good to be back home with my family, and it's all thanks to Stefan and Damon. They came to rescue me and free me from my captors, which I'm eternally grateful for their services. As of this moment, all I wanted to do was clean myself up and head to bed. I wanted to try and forget the previous torments and start a new day. Currently, I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Luckily, there wasn't that much bruising from the encounter today, and I wouldn't have to cover anything up for Aunt Jenna or my classmates. I glance at myself in the mirror for a quick moment. My hair was becoming slightly wavy from not straightening it in awhile, I just took my makeup off, and I was wearing striped pj shorts with a navy blue camisole. Averting my gaze, I head into my bedroom to head to bed. I abruptly stop seeing someone sitting on my window seal and my breath hitches in shock. Seeing that it's Damon, I relax a bit, but I'm still on edge with his presence right now. Was he drunk? Would he make another bad choice, or try to snap my brother's neck again? "Cute PJ's." He says and I straighten up my posture in an attempt to ease myself a bit.

"I'm tired, Damon." I say defensively, and he stands up and begins to approach me. He reaches into my pocket and pulls out a necklace… my necklace, the one Stefan gave to me.

"Brought you this." He says holding it up, and I feel my face change to a look of surprise.

"I thought that was gone…" I draw in awe, and he just makes a facial gesture, not choosing to elaborate on how he managed to get it. "Thank you." I sign out, reaching for my necklace, but he pulls it away from me. Fear builds up at this action since that necklace contained vervain in it, and if he was pulling it away meant that he might want to compel me. I stare at him for a couple of seconds with wide eyes before adding, "Please give it back."

He has a conflicted expression, which makes me even more nervous. "I just have to say something." He says and feel my breathing hitch slightly in fear. He begins to approach me further and I back away fearfully.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" I ask, my voice shaking slightly. I knew that he could hear my accelerated heartbeat, so he must know that I'm anxious of what he's doing right now. He makes a small sound as if about to speak, but then pauses again with furrowed brows.

"Because what I'm about to say is… probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life." He says and the fear in me picks up 100 times more and I'm becoming more anxious by his presence

"Damon, don't go there." I warn his lowering my head slightly. Damon is notorious for being selfish and if what he's about to say is the most selfish things he's said in his life, so it must be pretty bad.

"I just have to say it once." He says while getting closer to me, however I also back up. "You just need to hear it." He adds, and when he stops walking towards me I stop retreating. The curious side of my was piquing and I knew that Damon wouldn't hurt me, he just needed to get something off of his chest.

"I love you, Elena." He said staring directly into my eyes. I feel my breathing stop completely at that statement, and all I can do is stare at him with wide eyes. "...and it's because I love you that… I can't be selfish with you." He says and I feel myself grow more tense. What was this? Did he really mean this? How do I even respond to this? I can feel tears slightly form up in my eyes at his confession. "Why you can't know this… I don't deserve you." He says and I feel my heart drop at his words. I had never heard Damon speak to me so genuinely to me before. "But my brother does." He adds and I feel my heart shatter. How could be say that this confession was selfish? He then leans in, and I'm about to speak, saying not to kiss me, but he kisses my forehead. His lips are soft and warm, and the action just makes me want to cry more. He then reaches to brush back some of my hair while stroking my cheek softly. "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this." He says and I feel my eyebrows furrow in confusion. "But you do." He adds, and I notice that a tear falls from his eye. Never had I seen Damn cry, and I feel my heart drop once more. After I blink he's gone.

What just happened? Did… did he try to compel me to forget his confession? I feel the weight of my necklace on my collarbone and hold it slightly. Just then tears start coming out. Everything that I had tried to hide, all of my sorrow and guilt, everything came out at once. I cried for everything that has happened to me, I cried for my brother, my aunt, my parents, and for Damon. God, why did he have to be such an idiot. He deserves all the happiness in the world, yet he chooses to let himself stay in the shadows so that his brother can be happy. God, Damon why. Why did you have to say your confession? Why did you have to be so selfless? Why could you not realize that I would drink vervain in order to protect myself against vampires as soon as I got home? Why?

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When I woke up the next morning I felt relieved in a way. I had cried out all the pain I've been feeling for the past couple of months and it felt good to get everything out of my system. I feel a slight buzz in my pocket and accept the call.

"Stefan? Is something wrong?" I ask concerned. Why would he call me when it was almost time for school.

"Yeah, it's just… I need you to come to my place so that we can talk. There's something important that we need to talk about, okay?" He asks and I take a deep breath. Hopefully I won't run into Damon, because I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.

"Okay, I'll be there soon. See ya."

"See you soon." He replies before I hang up. I sigh and decide that it's best that I don't sit around for much longer. I put on a blue sweater and jeans and I also put on some makeup. After straightening my hair, I get my bags ready and headed downstairs. Jenna is down there getting ready for work.

When she notices me she asks, "Hey, Elena. You heading to school?"

"Yeah, wanted to make sure that I arrived early today." I lie, hoping that she won't catch onto me, since I'm notorious for being a horrible liar.

"Okay, I'll see you after school?" She asks, finishing up typing something on her computer, most likely something that she had to do for work.

"Yeah, I'll see you then. Bye." I reply, wanting to get to the boarding house as soon as I can. Stefan said that it was important, and I don't have much time to talk right now.

"Bye, have a nice day." She says cheerfully, putting her computer in her purse.

"Thanks!" I reply before heading out of the house and to my car. I head over to the boarding house in no time, and I knock on the door. The door opens, and I nearly have a heart attack, seeing that it's Damon. He smiles meekly at me and I just cough nervously.

"Hello, Elena." He says smoothly, but I can clearly see that he is pushing something back. If only he knew that I remembered everything.

"Uhm, uh. I-is Stefan here? He called… said it was important." I say, avoiding eye contact with him. He moves out of the way, while opening the door as a gesture for me to get in.

"Right this way." He says and I step in and move past him quickly Hopeful he doesn't think that I'm acting weird.

"Hey." I hear Stean say from my left side and he walks towards me. I feel relieved to see him and I straighten up the bag that is on my shoulder.

"What is this about?" I ask in almost a whisper. His expression becomes more serious and he turns revealing Rose behind him. My eyes widen at her presence.

"You." I breathe out, a bit fearful. She was one of my flashed a shy smile and I continue to stare at her with wide eyes. Stefan then gets back into my vision and gestures his head as a way of telling me to move to the living room to talk about everything. As I am moving there Damon moves past me slightly brushing me as he moves past and I stop walking and feel my breathing hitch. He turns and looks at me with a confused expression. Crap. he knows that something is up. I continue making my way to the living room and take a seat on the couch.

"Okay, you have to understand that I only know what I've picked up over the years, and I don't know what's true and what's not true. That's the problem with all of this vampire crap, but Klaus I know is real." Rose rants, and halfway into the rant my eyes wander towards Damon. He seems fixed on everything she has to say, and when he gaze switches to me I look away abruptly.

"Who.." I draw before shaking my head slightly to clear it. "Who is he?"

"He's one of the originals. He's a legend." Damon says and lek everytime he talks I feel my heart rate increase.

"He's one of the first generations of vampires." Stefan adds and I let go of a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Elijah?" I ask, wondering if they were similar.

"No, Eijah was the Easter Bunny compared to Klaus. He's a foot soldier. Klaus is the real deal." Rose says with her hands on her hips.

"Klaus is known to be… the oldest." Stefan says sternly and I can't help but feel uneasy at the mention of such a man… or vampire, I should say.

"Okay so… you're saying that the oldest vampire in the history of time is coming after me?" I ask, my voice laced in fear.

Rose holds out her arms and says,"Yes-"

"No." Damon interrupts. Crap I already feel myself growing anxious. Why can't I just act cool right now? Damon stands up and walks next to Rose while saying, "What they're saying is. I mean if what she's saying is true-"

"Which it is." Rose interrupts.

"And you're not just saying so we don't kill you."

"Which I'm not."

"Then, we're looking at a solid… maybe." Damon says which does help with my fear of Klaus.

"Look, Elijah's dead, right so no one else even knows that you exist." Stefan says while moving to sit next to me.

"Not that you know of." Rose adds.

"That's not helping." Damon adds saying my thoughts for me.

"Look, I haven't even met anyone who's laid eyes on him, I mean we're talking centuries of truth mixed with fiction. I mean we don't know what's real, for all we know he could be just some sort of stupid bedtime story." Stefan says trying to reassure me.

"He's real and he doesn't give up, if he wants something... he gets it. If you're not afraid of Klaus, than you're an idiot." Rose says while spikes my nervousness once more.

"Alright we're shaking. You made your point." Damon says which brings my attention to him gain. At least my nervousness for him is slightly less after hearing about Klaus. I'm about to stand up and leave when I hear Damon asked, "Are you alright? You've been acting weird this morning."

My head snaps up to him and I straighten up the strap to my bag Bag. Bag! "Bag." I say without thinking and everyone looks at me confusedly. "School. Yes." I say awkwardly. "I have to go." I sigh and begin heading for the door.

"Let me uh… I'm gonna grab my stuff. I'll go with you." Stefan says while getting up and approaching me.

"It's okay. I know where it is." I say, needing as much space from everyone as possible. I then nod at Stefan and he nods back, before I head out of the house.

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I was now walking through the woods with Caroline. I felt bad lying to Stefan saying that I was heading to school, but I had to find answers, and this was the only thing that I could think of that might help me get some. "Tell everyone that I wasn't feeling well, and that I'm going home from school." I say to Caroline, continuing my way to my destination.

"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this… I'm a terrible liar." Caroline says, trying to make a point to me, however that doesn't do much to stop my efforts.

"Then keep Stefan busy, I don't want him knowing what I'm up to." I reply.

"I'm even worse at duplicity, and you know this!" Caroline replies, not wanting me to follow through with this

"You managed to keep me occupied when Katherine paid Stefan a visit." I fire back at her.

"Yeah, because she threatened me… not that I'm saying that you should use that as tactic it's… Stefan's gonna see right through me." Caroine says and we both stop.

"Caroline… as my friend do you promise or not." I tell her seriously.

Caroline sighs before saying, "You had to break out the girlfriend code." I stared at her with my eyebrows raised as a symbol that I needed her to give me a cut and clear response. "Okay, I promise" Satisfied, I continue walking through the woods and Caroline follows behind me. "Why don't you want Stefan to know?" She asks me.

"Because he would never be okay with me doing this." I reply while moving down some rocks. I hear Caroline sigh behind me, but she follows nonetheless. Soon enough we're inside the cave and I set my bag down.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Caroline asks me fearfully.

"Yes, I'm sure. She's the only one who knows the truth about Klaus… the only one who can tell me how to stop him." I sigh.

"But you're asking the truth from somebody who's probably never given it." Carline says while sighing. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I can't just sit back and wait… I have to know." I reply and Caroline turns her head, looking at the symbol in the cave. "Please." I add and she looks at me skeptically. Sighing, she moves to the door barrier and moves it aside. As I approach, she backs up. "Katherine?" I call out to her, getting closer. I then turn to Caroline and added, "I'll be okay from here." She looks at me with a wary look, but then I heard movement from inside the cave. It's too dark to make out anything though. Then I see a pale and frail Katherine step into the light. She runs into the cave wall and makes her way towards me.

"Hello, Elena." She says in a weak scratchy voice. I look at her with wide eyes not having any words as I stare at the shadow of herself. "You come to watch me wither away…" Then she notices Caroline and her gaze hardens. "Goodbye, Caroline."

I turn to Caroline and say, "As long as I stand on this side of the door, she can't hurt me… please." I say and after a little bit Caroline exits the cave, and I turned my attention back to Katherine.

"Stefan know you're here?" She asks me.

"I brought you some things." I reply, not answering her question.

"You came to bribe me. What is it that you want?" She spits out at me.

I throw the bag that I was carrying earlier towards the entrance and say, "I want you to tell me about, Klaus."

"Mmmm… you've been busy." Katherine says. I take out a plastic water bottle that was filled with blood and place it on the floor.

"I also brought you this." I say pulling out a book that I got earlier. "It's your family history. It says here that the family line ended with you." I say and then there is a pause, neither of us speaking. "Obviously that's not true." I add referring to me. Isobel was a descendant from Katherine, which means that Katherine must've had a child.

"You think that if you brought me some family keepsake, that I'd finally open up?" Katherine says disbelievingly. I sigh before I pick up the water bottle filled with blood and hold it up.

"I also brought you this." I say, and she immediately runs for it, but is stopped by the barrier. Clearly after being starved for a while she'd be desperate. Her gaze is hungry on the blood as I add, "You don't look so good… How long before your body shuts down? 10, 20 years? Must be painful to decimate and mummify… I can't even imagine." Katherine then moves down to the ground signifying that she's willing to talk, and I also crouch to be at her level. I take out a small plastic cup and pour a tiny amount of blood in it. I then grab a stick on the ground and push it towards her. Taking the cup she says, "You've got the Petrova fire." Before gulping down the blood.

"More blood?" I ask her and she places the cup down. I pull it towards me slowly and she sighs.

"It's a long story. Klaus and I. It goes all the way back to England 1492, after I left Bulgaria." While she was talking a pours and gave her another small cup of blood. She drinks it down and I furrow my brows at her previous statements.

"Thrown out?" I ask, thinking about what she said aboutBulgaria.

"By my family… your true ancestors. They disowned me. My indiscretions were not tolerated at bedtime. I had a baby out of wedlock. Shame." She replies.

"It was kept secret?" I ask curious as to what happened to the baby.

"My baby was given away." She says and for the first time I feel sympathetic for Katherine. Having your child taken away must've been horrible. " I was banished to England. I had to learn to adjust, so I quickly became English. I was there when I caught the eye of a nobleman named, Klaus. I was taken with him at first… until I found out what he was, and what he wanted from me… and then I ran like hell."

"So… what did Klaus want from you?" I ask handing her another small cup of blood.

"The same thing he'll want from you." She replies before drinking it. "He wants to break the curse."

"By sacrificing the Petrova doppelganger." I say in realization.

"He wanted to drain every single drop of blood from my body." She explains and I feel my heart rate accelerate at the thought. I still need more information so I sit back down and fill another cup and slide it over to her.

"What does the Petrova bloodline have to do with Klaus?" I ask her, and she looks at me for a second before taking the cup. It's really tedious but.." She stops to drink the blood before continuing, "The curse was bound by the sacrifice of Petrova blood. Witches are crafty with their spells. The doppelganger was created as a way to undo the spell… once a doppelganger reappeared the curse can be broken."

"So you ran… before he killed you." I say and she quirks her brow slightly thinking something over.

"Something like that." She replies before telling me about how she came to a cabin that Trevor had told her about and talking about how she saw Rose, and how Rose was less than willing to give her aid. Then she talks about how by nightfall Rose discovers that she got hurt trying to kill herself and gave her her blood to heal her. Next, she talks about how she hung herself in hopes that Klaus would leave her alone once she was a vampire.

"You killed yourself?!" I ask, shocked.

"Klaus needed a human doppelganger, as a vampire, I was no longer any use to him"

"But it didn't work. You didn't really escape from him, you've been running from Klaus ever since."

"I underestimated his spirit for vengeance. Living out of a suitcase is better than dying so that you could have your blood spilled over some silly little rock… what's wrong?" She asks looking at my saddened gaze. "Afraid I'm right?" She asks with her head slightly tilted. "You don't wanna die? There's another way out." She says before making a tiny cut on her wrist. "Better hurry. Your opportunity is going, going, and gone." She adds once it's fully healed. "I made the other choice."

"Rose and Trevor spent the last 500 years running because you used them. Trevor just got killed!" I spit out at her.

"I never thought he would've lasted that long." Katherine shrugs taking another cup of blood to her mouth and drinking it.

"You don't even care that you ruined their lives." I say, unbelievingly.

"I was looking out for myself, Elena. I will always look out for myself… if you're smart… you'll do the same." She says and I let out a long breath as I think over everything she mentioned. I stand up and run a hand through my hair in a frustrated gesture. I turn back to the cave, no Katherine in sight. She must've returned to the shadows, so I pick up my bag and items.

"Elena." I hear a voice say and I turn to see Stefan coming down the stairs.

"Stefan, what are you doing here?" I ask confusedly.

"I could ask you the same question." He says and I sigh, knowing how he found out.

"Caroline told you." I sigh, disappointed in her.

"No, she kept your secret, but it didn't take long to figure out what was so important that you'd have to keep it from me."

"I knew that you'd stop me."

"Listen, whatever she said to you is a lie. Do not listen to her, she is a liar, Elena."

"What if she isn't. You didn't hear what she said." I reply, desperate for him to understand what I'm saying.

You don't have to worry… I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"That's the problem. You won't." I say. I can't let anymore people get hurt because of me. "But you'll die trying, how is that any better?"

"There's nothing you can do, Stefan." Katherine says emerging from the shadows which snaps both of our attention to her. "I haven't even told you the best part of the story. When I came back home, Klaus killed everybody… my entire family, just to get back at me for running. Whatever you do to escape Klaus, he will get his vengeance and your friends, your family and anybody that you've ever loved." Katherine says and Stefan turns me to look at him.

"No, look at me… do not listen to her, okay?" Stefan asks me, and I can stare at him, not sure what to believe.

"Always the protector… even you must realize that she's doomed. There's nothing you can do to stop it… unless of course you have this." Katherine says pulling up the moonstone.

"What?" I ask stepping forward in shock.

"Oh, there it is… it's the ultimate lie isn't it." Stefan says. He begins walking towards her and points at her before adding, "You spun this whole thing, so that we would have to get the stone from you, didn't you?"

"I didn't spin anything, Stefan, it's the truth." Katherine says, putting down the stone and crossing her arms.

"No, because you wanna trade that stone, for your freedom." Stefan says and Katherine's eyebrows furrow at his statement. "You manipulative psychotic bitch." He adds coldly.

"Huh, my freedom?" She asks unbelievingly. "That's where you're wrong, Stefan. I don't want my freedom, because when Klaus shows up to kill us all, and he will. I'll be in the tomb, where no vampire will enter because they can't get out. I'll be the safest psychotic bitch in town." She says and Stefan turns to look at me as we both try to understand everything that has happened.

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It was a blur. Leaving the cave, and heading home. Stefan and I hadn't said a word until we reached my front porch. "Elena." Stefn says I I hurry my way to the door, jamming the key in to get inside as quickly as possible.

"I can't talk right now, Stefan." I say pulling hard on the door, but to no avail.

"You have to, don't shut me out." He says softly, and I turn myself, tears in my eyes towards him. "Elena, please." He begs.

"I wanted to know the truth, and I got it. It's not just me that's in danger it it it's C-caroline, and it's Tyler, and it's Bonnie." I stuttered trying to speak all of my thoughts as confident as possible but the tears are threatening to come out. "They're all a part of breaking the curse. I can't blame anyone else anymore, because it's not because you came into town, or because you and I fell in love. That's not why everyone that I love is in danger. It's because of me, everything is because of me." I sob and Stefan pulls me into his arms, softly shushing me as a way to calm me down and comfort me. I hug him back, clinging to any form of comfort that I can. It takes a good minute before I let go of him and brush away some of the tears. "Feeling better?" He asks me softly and I look up at him.

"To be honest, no, but thank you for being here." I say to him and he smiles softly, although I can tell that his smile is pained as well.

"I'll always be here for you, Elena. No matter what." He says, stroking my face lightly.

"Thank you, Stefan. That means a lot to me." I reply to him with a soft smile. He smiles in return and leans in to give me a soft kiss on the cheek. I hug him one last time before adding, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Elena." He replies before heading away, back to him home. As soon as he's gone I burst out crying again and I lean my head on the doorframe. I couldn't have everyone that I love die because of me. Stefan and Damon have always protected me… now it's my turn. I know what I have to do. I have to give up my life, so that they can live.

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A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter, and I'll be trying to keep consistent uploads on this story. Before you leave, though I'd just like to mention that there will be some Stelena moments in this fanfiction. I don't think it's realistic to just have it be 100% Damon and Elena, especially given that this time Elena was in love with Stefan. I'd also like to mention that I actually like Stefan. I ship Elena with Damon, but I like Stefan as a character. I don't like it when people portray him as someone evil, when that's not in Stefan's character at all. I will slowly build up to Delena, but please be patient with me. Anyways, I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter, and I can't wait to get some of the feedback!