Since I haven't been working on updates for my ongoing fics this week, I've had time to poke at a few other things. This one's been half written for a while now, but I think it's finally finished!

It's a big spoiler, but this fic is about abortion. There's nothing graphic or detailed, it's just something that happens but I understand that some people might not want to read about that.

EDIT I feel like this should go without saying, but according to the Guest review I've just recieved, apparently I need to make it clear. I write FICTION, so sometimes things may not be completely accurate. So if you're going to read this, you're going to have to grant me some artistic licence and imagine it's set in an AU where a woman of any age has the right to make her own decisions about what happens to her body no matter where she lives. Thank you.


Rachel looked up, almost as a reflex when she heard the door open, quickly dropping her head to stare at her lap when she recognised the person that had just walked into the waiting area. Of all the people in the world, Rachel never in a million years expected that she'd see her Mom in a planned parenthood clinic at 10am on a Thursday morning and she hoped she'd been quick enough, hoped Shelby hadn't seen her, but once again, luck wasn't on Rachel's side.

"Rachel?" she heard the frown in Shelby's voice as she screwed her eyes shut. "Rachel, are you okay?" Rachel slowly opened her eyes, blinking back tears as she saw Shelby was crouched on the floor in front of her, "Rachel" she heard Shelby's voice crack slightly as she jumped to, what she hoped was, the wrong conclusion, "please tell me you're not here for…"

"I can't" Rachel whispered as Shelby reached out and took her shaking hands as she told her, "because I am. I'm here for an abortion."

Shelby briefly closed her own eyes, taking a second to compose herself before she stood up and moved to sit in the seat beside her daughter, Rachel blinking back tears as she felt Shelby let go of her hand, assuming Shelby was walking away, not that she blamed her. She was surprised when she didn't hear Shelby's heels as she left, frowning as she lifted her head to see her Mom sat beside her, "what, what are you doing?" she whispered.

"Are you here on your own?" Shelby asked, getting a nod in response, "not any more."

"What… Aren't you going to lecture me? Tell me how stupid I am? Try and talk me out of it?"

"This is a big thing Rachel and you shouldn't have to do it alone. Even if you just want me to sit out here and wait for you, I'll be here. And I'm sure you've torn yourself apart enough, it can't have been an easy decision for you to make, and I'm sure you weighed up all the pros and cons of your options. It's your body and your life Rachel, only you can make this decision."

"Thank you" Rachel said quietly, Shelby was right, she'd torn herself to pieces when she'd found out she was pregnant, beaten herself up, gone over her options time and time again, only ever coming back to this. It was her only option. "Are, are you okay?" Shelby had been coming out of one of the small treatment rooms when she'd seen Rachel, and as curious as Rachel was, she knew it wasn't her place to ask why Shelby was here.

"I'm fine" Shelby reassured her, "I erm… I thought I might have an issue with my IUD and my regular doctor is on vacation, it was easier for me to come here and have it checked than drive all the way across town to an alternative doctor."

"Oh" Rachel nodded, "okay."

"What time is your appointment?" Shelby asked, taking Rachel's hand in her own.

"I've already been back" Rachel told her, "they've talked me through everything and they've done…" she shrugged, not wanting to talk about the ultrasound she'd asked not to see, "they've done some checks, and a blood test and things. I'm just waiting to go and, and get it over and done with."

"Are you having any painkillers or anything?" Shelby asked.

Rachel shook her head, "they offered me something to help me relax but…" she shrugged again.

Shelby gently squeezed Rachel's hand, "Rachel" she said softly, "you don't need to make this any worse for yourself than it already will be, if you want to take what they've offered you then you can. Nobody will judge you for that Rachel."

"I'm killing a baby" Rachel whispered as tears spilled from her eyes, "I don't deserve…"

"You're having a medical procedure Rachel. If you dislocated your shoulder and they offered you pain relief while they popped it back, would you take it?" Rachel nodded. "And this is just the same Rachel, you're allowed to be as comfortable as you can be, you don't need to punish yourself any more than you probably already are."

"How do you know?" Rachel whispered as she looked up at Shelby with glassy eyes, "it's like you can read my mind."

Shelby smiled sadly and reached into her purse, pulling out a pack of kleenex and gently wiping at Rachel's tears, "because I know that's exactly how I'd be feeling if I was in your position, even now, at 34, I'd probably be feeling just as confused and scared as you do now."

Rachel nodded, more tears falling as Shelby wiped at her eyes, "okay" she whispered.

"Okay? Okay you'll let them give you something to relax you?" Rachel nodded again, "I'll go and ask them about it" Shelby squeezed Rachel's hand and handed her the tissue before going to speak to the receptionist.

Rachel was called back just five minutes later and she kept hold of Shelby's hand as she stood, looking hopefully at her and Shelby took the hint, picking up her bag and following Rachel into the room.

The nurse checked Rachel's details before asking her, "is this…"

"She's my Mom" Rachel answered quickly, "she can stay right?" Rachel had been so set on doing this alone, on not telling anyone, she'd talked herself up, mentally prepared herself to do this on her own, but then she'd seen Shelby, she'd felt her Mom's hand holding hers and now Rachel wasn't sure she could do this without her.

"Of course" the nurse nodded, "the receptionist told me you've changed your mind and you'd like something to help you relax a little." Rachel nodded and the nurse scribbled something on the notes, "before we give it to you, I just want to check that everything's been explained to you, that you don't have any questions."

Rachel shook her head, "I understand. I don't have any questions."

"Okay" the nurse unlocked a cabinet and popped a small white pill into a paper cup, handing it to Rachel before passing her a cup of water, "don't be worried if it makes you feel a little drowsy, it should only take about fifteen minutes or so to start working, so you and your Mom can sit in here while we wait for it to work and then we'll take you into the other room. The procedure probably won't take more than ten minutes or so and Mom can stay with you, and then, because you're taking that…" she gestured to the pill that Rachel was yet to take, "we'll take you into a recovery room and keep an eye on you, probably for an hour or so and then if you're feeling okay, your Mom can take you home."

"Thank you" Rachel nodded as she took the pill, thanking the nurse again when she disposed of the cup for her.

"Do you want me to stay with you or will you be okay with your Mom?" the nurse asked.

Rachel shifted her hand slightly, letting her fingers fall between Shelby's, "I'll be okay with my Mom."

It didn't take long at all for Rachel to start feeling the effects of the mild sedative she'd been given, and she almost felt like a warm cloak had been wrapped around her when Shelby dropped her hand, choosing instead to wrap her arm around Rachel's shoulders, letting the teen curl into her side, the medication obviously making her drowsy just as the nurse had warned it might.

Shelby didn't say anything, simply pulled Rachel closer as she felt the girl's warm tears beginning to soak through her shirt, of all the situations in the world, never did she assume she'd find herself comforting her daughter in a room at a planned parenthood clinic as the teen waited to get an abortion.

Rachel cried silently in Shelby's arms until the nurse came back to let Rachel know they were ready for her. The nurse took a box of tissues from her desk and offered them to Rachel with a sympathetic smile, but Rachel made no effort to move, so Shelby reached out, thanking the nurse as she took some of the tissues and wiped Rachel's tears, "are you ready?" she asked softly.

"No" Rachel shook her head, "but I'm not sure I ever will be."

"We can give you a few more minutes if you need us to" the nurse offered.

Rachel shook her head, "no, I erm, can we just get it over with please?" Shelby followed the nurse as she and Rachel were led a few doors down the corridor, Shelby offering to wait outside when the nurse handed Rachel a gown to change into, but quickly promised she wasn't going anywhere when she heard Rachel beg, "stay."

Rachel's grip on Shelby's hand was almost crippling as they were led into the treatment room but Shelby didn't complain, she helped Rachel get as comfortable as she could on the bed before using her free hand to swipe at her tears. "I'm not going anywhere" she whispered, gently stroking Rachel's cheek.

"I'm scared" Rachel whispered as she looked up, making eye contact with Shelby.

"I know" Shelby said softly, "I think anyone would be in your position Darling, but it's okay, you're not on your own, not anymore."

Shelby kept her hand on Rachel's cheek, keeping the girl's head turned towards her to stop her seeing anything but her face. Her other hand was held tightly in Rachel's, the girl squeezing tightly every time her stomach cramped. Shelby was talking quietly to Rachel, nothing that would require a response, murmuring words of comfort and support, hoping Rachel might, somehow, be able to concentrate on her voice and not what was happening to her body. She switched tactics, beginning to sing softly when Rachel's eyes snapped shut and she failed to hold back a sob at a particularly strong stomach cramp.

"We're almost done Rachel" the nurse told her, "just one more minute and it will all be over".

"You're going to be okay" Shelby whispered as she stroked Rachel's hair and chanced a kiss to her forehead, "take some deep breaths" she encouraged, "don't hold your breath Darling" Shelby continued stroking Rachel's hair and placed another kiss to her forehead when the doctor told Rachel they were done.

"Let's sit you up" the nurse said once the doctor had cleared everything away, "we'll give you a minute and then get you through to recovery so you can rest for a while". Rachel nodded, still clutching Shelby's hand as the nurse helped her sit up on the edge of the table, "how are you feeling?" she asked.

Rachel frowned slightly and put her free hand on her stomach, "my stomach hurts" she said, "and I feel a little dizzy and nauseous."

"The cramping's normal, we'll get you a heat pad when you're in recovery and I can get you something to help with the dizziness and the nausea too, they're common side effects of the sedative we gave you."

It took Rachel a couple of minutes before she felt ready to make her way to the recovery area, only letting go of Shelby's hand when the nurse handed her a maxi pad and some disposable underwear and pointed her in the direction of the ladies bathroom, Rachel's hand finding Shelby's as soon as she stepped back into the corridor again.

"I'm sorry" Rachel whispered once she was settled in a large recliner in the recovery area, a heat pad resting against her stomach, blanket tucked around her tiny body after the nurse had given her some anti nausea medication and told them she'd be back in fifteen minutes, "that you had to be here."

"I didn't have to be here Rachel, I wanted to support you, you shouldn't have gone through that alone. Do your dads…"

Rachel shook her head, "I haven't told them, Daddy's in Michigan for a work thing. Dad went with him, they'll be back on Sunday. I called them this morning and told them I'd been sick, it wasn't a lie, so they called me out for the day."

"And the…your…"

Rachel knew what Shelby was asking, "we're not together any more. It was a mistake I… he doesn't know but he did something that made my mind up for me about this" she whispered as tears filled her eyes, "I don't…" she shook her head.

Shelby reached out and used the hand Rachel wasn't still holding to wipe at her tears, "it's okay" she reassured her, "you don't have to tell me anything."

"I told you" Rachel looked up at Shelby, "I told you about this. Nobody else."

"Oh Rachel" Shelby squeezed her hand and kissed her temple, "thank you for trusting me. You could have told me you were here to get contraception or just a check up, thank you for being honest with me and letting me in."

Rachel felt more tears fall at Shelby's words, and at the kiss her Mom had given her, "thank you for staying."

"I should never have walked away Rachel, I was scared and I, I was feeling some things that confused and overwhelmed me, and instead of facing those things and dealing with them, I took the cowards way out and I tried to run from them."

"What, what happens next?"

Shelby stroked Rachel's cheek with the back of her index finger, "you get some rest and then I take you home" she saw the look on Rachel's face, "longer term, if you want to, we try again. We spend some time together, away from schools and glee rehearsals, we get to know each other and I, I keep seeing my therapist and try to learn how to deal with my feelings and emotions like the adult I am. We'll probably argue and screw up sometimes, but we keep trying. If you want to that is."

Rachel nodded, playing with Shelby's fingers under the blanket. "I do want that." She didn't comment on the fact her Mom had a therapist, didn't want to ask if that was because of her.

Shelby smiled and gently squeezed Rachel's hand, "get some rest, I'm not going anywhere."

Rachel did manage to doze off for a while and Shelby spent the time watching her daughter, unable to believe that she'd been willing to go through this alone, that she hadn't told anyone about her pregnancy, and Shelby made a promise to herself, that from now on, Rachel wouldn't have to go through anything alone again.

The nurse checked in periodically and Rachel napped for just over an hour before she woke. Her nausea and dizziness had subsided somewhat as the sedative worn off, and she was given an antibiotic and a painkiller, and both she and Shelby were talked through possible complications, told what were normal side effects and what meant they should contact a doctor, before Rachel told she could leave whenever she felt ready.

Shelby led Rachel out to her SUV once Rachel had changed back into the sweatpants and tank top she'd been wearing before she'd put on the gown, she'd already asked, knew Rachel had got a cab to the clinic and had been planning on calling a cab home too.

"How are you feeling?" Shelby asked as Rachel shifted slightly in the passenger seat to make herself comfortable, "and I don't just mean physically."

Rachel sighed, "empty. But relieved, I, as much as I hated the decision I made, I know, I couldn't have raised a child at fifteen, it was an awful decision to make but it, it was for the best." She'd thought about adoption too but ultimately knew that she probably wouldn't be able to carry a child for nine months and then give it away, but she wouldn't say that to Shelby. Not now. She knew that eventually they'd need to talk about the surrogacy but not today, not when Shelby had been so kind to her.

Shelby reached over and squeezed Rachel's hand as she started the engine, "it was a very brave decision to make Rachel. And if you think it was the best decision then that's all that matters, you're the one who has to live with the decision you made. The only person whose opinion matters is yours, not your dads' not the father, if you're… happy isn't the right word, if you're comfortable with the decision you made, then nothing else matters."

"It was Jesse's" the words slipped out before Rachel could stop them and she saw Shelby's brow crease, her grip tighten slightly on the steering wheel.

"Rachel, I…" she bit her lip, "was it… It was consensual wasn't it? He didn't, he didn't pressure you into anything?"

"No" Rachel answered quickly, "he didn't, I, I wanted to. I thought I loved him. I thought he loved me. He always used a condom too, this… I just got unlucky I guess."

Shelby was relieved to hear both that Jesse hadn't pressured Rachel into anything, and that he'd been responsible enough to use protection. She'd just promised Rachel they could work on their relationship. She wasn't sure how that would work if she was in prison for murdering the jackass who'd taken advantage of her daughter. "Rachel, I…" she wasn't sure what she was going to say, but she didn't need to finish her sentence as Rachel continued to speak, a quick glance telling Shelby that Rachel was staring straight ahead as she continued talking.

"He might not have known, but he made up my mind for me" she admitted. "Him leaving was one thing, going back to vocal adrenaline hurt but I could have got over that, but then he came back. I stupidly thought I could tell him, that we could talk about it, that we could make a decision together, but then... I was pregnant with his child and he cracked an egg on my head just to prove to his teammates that I was just some joke to him, that I meant nothing."

Shelby felt her heart break as she heard Rachel's voice crack, she knew about the egging and she'd let her team know just how angry they'd made her, she'd definitely made them pay for their actions, but this reignited her anger at the situation and she knew she'd definitely be pushing VA past their limits in their next practice. "I know it probably won't make you feel any better, but I made sure they were all punished, some of them are still sucking up to me, scared of getting on the wrong side of me again. I think they know that if they even think about doing something like that to anyone, if they even breathe in your direction then they're dead"

"I… thank you."

"I wasn't behind it" Shelby told her, "I asked Jesse to befriend you, to suggest you looked for me, I didn't… When I realised the two of you were more than friends I told him to be careful, to look after you. I trusted him to be good to you."

"I know it wasn't your fault" Rachel nodded, silence falling between them until Rachel frowned, "this isn't the way to my house."

"You said your dads were away til the weekend?" she saw Rachel nod out of the corner of her eye, "so I thought I'd take you back to my house, I should have said something though" she shook her head, "I'll take you home."

"No" Rachel said firmly, "I, I'd like to go to your house, if that's okay."

"Of course, you can get some rest and we can have some lunch, then, if you want, we can go and get a few of your things and you can stay til Sunday if you like, you'll have to share my bed though, or sleep on the couch, it pulls out, I use my second bedroom as a sort of office and music room."

"I'd like that" Rachel smiled, "but don't you have to get back to work this afternoon?"

"No" Shelby shook her head, "I didn't know how long things were going to take or what they were going to have to do so I said I'd be out for the whole day for a medical appointment. I planned on changing into sweats and spending my afternoon watching netflix, but we can do that together."

Rachel managed a small smile, "that sounds good."

"I'm glad" Shelby smiled, "and you never know, if you're lucky, I might even let you choose what we watch" she teased, planning on letting her daughter choose anyway. Shelby pulled onto her driveway and turned to face Rachel, "okay?" she asked, finding the teen watching her.

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "I, I…" she took a moment to compose herself, she was usually so composed, so eloquent but right now she just couldn't find the words, "thank you."

Shelby leaned over the centre console and awkwardly pulled Rachel into her arms, wiping at her tears and kissing the head she found resting against her shoulder, "you don't need to thank me Rachel. I know I screwed up in the past, but I promise, I'm not going to make that mistake again. If you need me, I'm there. I promise." She felt Rachel nod against her shoulder, "come on" she said softly, feeling her daughter relax in her arms, let's get you into bed, we'll both be more comfortable there."

"Will you hold me?" Rachel asked quietly, almost scared of the rejection she was sure was coming.

"Of course" Shelby kissed Rachel's hair again and pulled away to encourage the teen to get out of the car, "I'll hold you whenever want. You've got me Rachel, I promise."