The curving backroads of Oregon are hardly traversable in the darkness of the icy winter night, though a lone police officer attempts it. His bright headlights shine through the falling snowflakes as the man clumsily drives on the road, crossing over the yellow line with no regard for if anyone was coming or if anything was to jump out from the woods that hugged both sides of the road.

The police officer, inside his warm, Christmas-decorated car, nods his head to the Christmas music playing over his radio, singing along.

"Flakey the Snowman, he's only slightly creepy! Has a pleasant smile and a carrot nose, but has black, beady eyes that haunt your brain! Flakey-"

"H-Hey! Will you stop swerving?! This is dangerous!" The concerned criminal in the police car's backseat yells, interrupting the officer's singing.

The officer waves the criminal's comment off, "Listen, pal, I only get to celebrate Christmas once a year, and if slightly disturbing stop-motion holiday specials have taught me anything, it's that you should embrace your childlike wonder!"

"What does that have to do with bad driving?"

"'Cause kids can't drive!" The officer yells, "Look, no hands!" He lifts his hands off the wheel and starts driving with his knees. The criminal screams in terror as the police car swerves from side to side.

As the police officer continues his antics, the headlights reflect off of something glistening and white in the middle of the road. The officer notices it too, finally.

"OH SHOOT, A PERSON!" The officer yells as he tries to regain control of the wheel. He twists it every which way, hitting the brakes, spinning the car around in circles in his attempt to avoid the figure. The criminal is thrown into the backdoor as the car spins, the back of the car moments from swinging into the figure. The police tugs on the steering wheel as hard as he can.

Tire streaks cover the road as the backside of the car stops inches away from hitting whoever is on the road. The police officer steps out with a ridiculously-large flashlight and shines it on the culprit; A snowman with coal eyes and a carrot nose.

The officer gives a sigh of relief, "Phew! And here I thought it was a person. Imagine that, a cop hitting a person… Who would arrest me…"

The criminal in the back coughs loudly, trying to keep the officer focused.

"Right, right! Ok, well, let's see here, why is there a snowman sitting in the middle of the road? Not even snowing that hard. Well, gotta get past it somehow. PUSH!" The officer happily charges the snowman to push it down.

The snowman doesn't budge from its spot. The officer instead ends up falling to the asphalt, making the criminal watching grin.

"Oh, so you think you're better than me?!" The officer tries his hardest to shove the stable snowman down, punching its side, bending its skinny stick arms. No dice.

"Why don't we just go around it?" The criminal asks from behind the door window.

"WHAT, YOU THINK I CAN'T DO IT?! IS THAT IT?!" The officer yells furiously.

"Woah, woah," The criminal lifts his arms, "I sense a little bit of projecting going on here…"

The officer shrugs and stomps back into the driver's seat, "Fine, we'll try it your way, Mr. Know-It-All. Mr. I-Hate-Christmas. Mr. You're-Better-At-Me-At-Foosball!"

"Yep, definitely projecting."

"Shush, I'm focusing!" The officer backs the car up and straightens it out, the snowman sitting in front of them. Flipping into gear, the officer slowly rolls to the side of the snowman, causing half of the car to slide off the road to drive in the snowy grass by the wall of trees of the woods. The police officer eases by, keeping his eye on the snowman as if it were a bitter rival.

The criminal lays back in his seat and lets out a sigh. He turns to look out the side with the trees to see two huge, bright-red glowing eyes staring back at him. The criminal screams, causing the officer to hit the brakes.

"What is it now, son, I'm trying to- AAUUGGHH!" The officer watching in shock as the eyes move up in the air, revealing the massive size of the shadowy monster beside them. The monster swings its arm over the roof of the car and grabs hold of it, dragging it into the woods. Panicking, the police officer swings open the door and jumps out.

"HEY, DON'T LEAVE ME!" The criminal yells, trapped in the backseat, "WAIT, DON'T- AAAUUGGGHH!" The criminal, the monster, and the car disappear into the woods, the trees breaking and falling over as the monster walks backward through them.

Laying on the snow, the wide-eyed police officer stares into the black abyss the monster has created through the trees. He spins around and starts crawling away towards the road. He is stopped when something looms above him.

The snowman from the road has moved, standing above the police officer, looking down on him with its coal eyes. The police officer is too freaked out by it to notice the monster's hand reaching from the hole in the trees and grabbing his leg.

"No! NO! NOT ME!" The officer yells as the monster drags him into the woods, "WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAAAAAAASSSS!" The red-eyed monster and the officer disappear into the woods, his voice echoing. The snowman from the road watches.

FRONTIER MAN PRESENTS:

THE PACIFICA PAPERS, A GRAVITY FALLS STORY

ENTRY 1

THE ABOMINABLE SNOWFRIEND

PART 1 OF 3

The Speedy Beaver bus slowly drives down Oregon's roads, snow falling gently across the sky on a white morning. The inside of the bus is mostly full, but three bundled-up passengers stand out among the rest: A sweaty thirteen-year-old in a trapper hat, his twin wearing a sweater with a Christmas present sown on, and a pig.

"Dipper, I'm so excited!" Mabel grabs Dipper by the shoulder and starts shaking him violently, "We get to see everyone again, and no one even knows we're coming! I can't wait to sneak up behind people and scare them!"

"That's how you get pepper-sprayed, Mabel." Dipper points out.

"Don't worry, once they see that it's town sweetheart Mabel, they'll ease up on the pepper spray." Mabel grabs Waddles and hugs him tightly.

"You know, it's funny," Dipper says, "We were all so bummed out about having to wait until next summer to come back and visit, we didn't even consider that we could just visit Winter Break."

"Yeah, that was… weird of us to not realize," Mabel replies, "And now we get to play in the snow and throw LEGOs at carolers! Just like in Piedmont, except there are no long-term repercussions because we are only there for a couple of days! So, who are you most excited about seeing again?"

"Oh, I don't know, Soos, Wendy-"

"That guy who only says 'Hey, how ya' doin'?' in the most Boston-iest accent ever!" Mabel cheers.

"I don't remember a person like that."

"You wouldn't, he's usually in the ladies' section of the mall looking for hair gel and smelly perfume."

"Well, we only have a couple of days here before we have to leave Christmas Ever back to Piedmont, we have to make every second count." Dipper declares.

"Yeah, even though… We won't be able to see everyone." Mabel solemnly says.

"Oh, right… Grunkle Stan and Ford…"

Dipper and Mabel, in preparation for their surprise visit to Gravity Falls, asked their mother to call Grunkle Stan to see what they are up to for the holidays; you know, to gather secret intel, like how the F.B.I. does. Turns out, however, Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford aren't going to make it back to Oregon in time for Christmas because they are dealing with an anomaly caused by Weirdmageddon from earlier this year. The twins were not in the best mood when they heard this.

"Well, hey," Dipper tries to look on the bright side, "We'll see them next summer. For now, let's focus on the rest of Gravity Falls. Speaking of which, we should get there in ample time-"

The bus comes to a quick stop, slinging the twins and Waddles forward into the back of the seat in front of them. "Wha?" Dipper makes a noise of questioning, "Why did we stop in the middle of the road?"

Dipper and Mabel try their best to see what is in front of the bus through their window. They see a line of three cars sitting in front of them with four police cars investigating an area up the road, their blue and red lights blinking.

"Woah, what happened up there?" Mabel asks, "Did someone die? Or maybe it's one of those viral videos where the cops are helping ducklings cross the road. I swear if I'm missing the ducklings-"

"Mabel." Dipper stops her. The car line slowly moves forward as the police wave them past the incident. Dipper and Mabel look closely at what the commotion is about: A huge hole in the middle of the woods, like something went straight through the trees. An empty totaled police car sits at the end of a tow truck, being pulled out of the ruined brush. "A policeman must've flown off the road and into the woods."

"Dang, look at all that damage. Poor guy." Mabel remarks. The bus drives away. At the last second, Dipper notices something strange, something he hadn't noticed due to the tow truck blocking his view from it; A snowman stood by the hole, staring into it.

Soon, Dipper and Mabel spot a familiar sign on the side of the road: 'Welcome to Gravity Falls. Nothing to see here folks!' The twins gasp and look at each other, smiling.

"We're here!" Mabel enthusiastically says, "Do you think we can use Soos's body as a sled in the snow?!"

"What if we run into a herd of reindeer? What if they can fly? What energy source powers their lit-up noses?" Dipper says.

"Forget reindeer, imagine this… Pack. Of. Arctic. Foxes." Mabel throws her hands in the air as if to say, "WADDUP."

"Winter in Gravity Falls is going to be great!" Dipper cheers.

"BRING ON THE SNOW!" Mabel yells way too loudly.

As the bus approaches Gravity Falls, however, the snow begins to fade. It stops falling from the sky and the grass turns green. "Wait," Mabel looks out the window, "Whaaaaat?"

They reach the bus-stop in the middle of Gravity Falls, a town that looks exactly like how it did during the summer, even though it is the complete opposite season. Dipper grabs his bags and Mabel grabs Waddles. They step off the bus.

Waiting at the bus-stop is an old man with slick, black hair and a gold chain around his neck. "Oh!" Mabel's confusion is replaced with surprise, "Hello!"

"Hey, how ya' doin'?" The man says in the most Boston-iest accent ever as he gets on the bus. Mabel smiles at Dipper.

Dipper stops the man, "Wait, can you tell us why there's no snow here? It was snowing all the way over."

"Oh, it hasn't snowed at all this winter. Not once. That's actually why I'm leaving. To remind me what snow is like. How it looks. How it feels. On my skin. Now, get out of here!" The bus door closes and the man disappears with the bus.

Mabel and Dipper look at each other, confused, "No snow?" Mabel asks.

The twins, now carrying their large coats for the winter over their shoulders, walk through the warm temperature, non-snowing town of Gravity Falls towards the Mystery Shack, waving and saying, "Hello" to the townsfolk that recognizes them. Bodacious T offers to give the two 'rad tattoos,' though the only equipment he has is a sitting stool and a dried out sharpie.

They eventually arrive at the entrance of the Shack, knowing the way there like the back of their weirdly small hands. A large Christmas tree sits outside the entrance, though it's fake; it's a broken telephone pole with a lot of chopped cabbage taped to it. "So, Dipper," Mabel turns to him, "How should we break in?"

"... Through the front door, like normal people?" Dipper answers.

"No! I mean, this is a surprise, we have to make a surprise entrance! Ooh, what if we come down through the chimney like Santa Claus?"

"Soos has a fear of Santa Claus, Mabel. Remember the 'Christmas in July' incident at the mall?"

"Poor kids, traumatized for life by what Soos did to Santa."

"I think I was traumatized too." A cold chill goes up Dipper's back.

"Alright, fine, we'll go in through the front door, but I get to yell really loud when we do."

"Agreed." Dipper and Mabel walk up the porch stairs and to the front door of the Shack.

Mabel kicks open the door, causing it to fly off its hinges, scaring Dipper to death behind her, "NOBODY MOVE!" Mabel yells, "THIS IS A ROBBERY! HAND OVER ALL YOUR RING POPS AND CHRISTMAS ROM-COM CDS OR THE PIG GOES WILD!" Mabel picks up Waddles and holds him in a threatening way.

"AH! BURGLARS!" Soos who, in his black suit and fez, was polishing the Mermaid-Monkey fish tank, jumps up in the air and lands on the tank, knocking it over and spilling it everywhere. Soos quickly gets back on his feet and grabs a broomstick and holds it like a jousting sword, charging the twins. "YOU CAN TAKE THE RING POPS OVER MY DEAD BODY, DUDES!"

"Soos, Soos, it's us!" Dipper jumps in front of Mabel to block him, though Mabel was ready to throw down. Once he realizes who it is, Soos puts on the brakes and looks at the twins in awe.

"Dipper?! Mabel?! What are you two doing here, dawg?!" Soos drops the broomstick and gives the two a big ol' hug, squeezing them. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Surprise- AUGH!" Dipper tries to talk, or even breath, through Soos's tight grip on them, "We're stopping by for a couple- AUGH! of days- AAHH! TAP OUT! UNCLE! UNCLE!"

Soos lets go as the other workers of the shack, Wendy and Melody, walk over to greet the twins.

"Hey! 'Sup you two?" Wendy lowers herself to match their height, "You still wearing my hat? You haven't flaked out on me, right?"

"Nope!" Dipper adjusts his trapper hat, "It's itchy and it makes everything sound muffled, but I'm still wearing it."

"And I still got yours." Wendy tips the brim of her blue-and-white pine tree hat before nudging Dipper in the shoulder.

"So," Melody talks to Mabel, wearing a brown hat and a green T-shirt with an oozing question mark on it, "How's school coming along?"

"It's going great!" Mabel replies, "I'm higher on the class list than Dipper. It's not easy being the smart twin, you know?"

"Mabel, the only classes you took this semester were art classes and beginner band. You haven't started any of the hard ones yet." Dipper corrects.

"Yeah, sure, but can you honk a tuba like I can?!" Mabel proceeds to stomp around and go, "BUM. BUM. BUM," like she's playing the tuba.

"So, will you two be here for Christmas, bros?" Soos asks.

"No, sorry, we'll be leaving Christmas Eve for home." Dipper answers.

"Then, the Mystery Shack celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve! SCREW PRE-ESTABLISHED HOLIDAY TRADITIONS! MELODY, READY THE TINSEL!" Soos points to her with his cane. She nods and heroically runs off.

"What's the deal with no snow though? I wanted to ski down the old mayor's face on the mountain." Mabel asks Soos and Wendy.

Wendy looks out the window at the sunny day, "I don't know. Every town in Oregon is in knee-deep snow except for ours. It stinks."

"Do you dudes think it's because of… The 'never mind all that' from summer?" Soos chooses his words carefully.

Dipper tilts his head at him, "... Oh, you mean Weirdma-"

Soos slaps Dipper's mouth, "'NEVER MIND ALL THAT,' DUDE! I don't want to end up in jail on Christmas for saying it!"

Dipper swipes Soos's hand away, "Grunkle Stan and Ford are hunting down all the anomalies from… 'never mind all that,' so if this is caused by that, then they would've shown up by now. Probably."

"Let's blame global warming and call it a day." Wendy declares.

Everyone nods in agreement.

"Man," Dipper looks around the group, "With no snow and you two here, it feels just like how it did in the summer. It's like we never left. And the Shack looks the same too. Has nothing actually changed-"

Just then, Dipper is interrupted by a familiar, but unexpected voice coming from the tour room, "Mr. Ramirez, I need more glue and corn, this Cornicorn is not happening." Pacifica, wearing a hot-pink shirt with an oozing question mark on it, steps out of the room, her hands covered in glue and small pieces of corn.

Dipper and Mabel both gasps and yell, "PACIFICA?!" at the same time. Pacifica, wide-eyed, stares at the two. She then slowly starts backing up into the tour room until she is out of sight.

"... Mr. Ramirez, corn!" the twins hear the sound of clapping coming from Pacifica's direction.

Pacifica stands beside Soos, Wendy, and Melody as Dipper and Mabel look at her, confused, "Hey you two, merry Christmas or whatever." Pacifica apathetically says.

"Pacifica, why are you- merry Christmas to you too- why are you here?" Dipper asks.

Soos speaks up, "Oh! Because she- wait, you wanna tell them?" He looks at Pacifica who doesn't respond, "... Ok, you tell them… No, wait, I'll tell them-"

"Mr. Ramirez." Pacifica interrupts his rambling and then redirects her attention to the Pines twins, "What he's trying to say is that I work here now."

"Wait, really?" Dipper asks, surprised.

"Yeah, really. My parents forced me to, kind of." Pacifica tries to explain.

"Let me guess," Dipper says, "They wanted you to get some fresh air?"

"Excuse me?" Pacifica smirks, "No, they wanted me to become a wealthy entrepreneur and make millions by the end of the year."

"... Huh?" Dipper was not expecting that.

Pacifica recalls her family's traditions, "Whenever a Northwest hits thirteen, they're sent off to go start their own business and become a millionaire to better the family's reputation. On my birthday earlier this September-"

"Your birthday was in September?!" Mabel stops her story, "Oh shoot, happy late birthday, Pacifica!"

"Happy birthday!" Dipper also says.

"Thank you, now shush!" Pacifica shushes them, "On my birthday, instead of a party, Mom and Dad kicked me out to-"

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE A PARTY?!" Mabel yells, concerned.

"MABEL, I HAVE GLUE AND CORN, DON'T MAKE ME USE IT!" Pacifica threatens, "LIKE I WAS SAYING before I got INTERRUPTED, they kicked me out to start my own business, but the problem was that I didn't have any money. Usually, the parents give the kid tons of money to start with, but since Dad put all of his cash into that freaky triangle's weirdness bonds, we didn't have much money left. So, they gave none to me, hogged it all for themselves, and now I'm working here in this barn until I have enough money to make it on my own."

"But why work at the Mystery Shack? I would never think in a million years that you would choose to work here voluntarily." Dipper asks.

"He's the only one that would break child labor laws and hire me." Pacifica points at Soos.

"I pay her. She fits in small crawl spaces. I see it as a win-win scenario." Soos explains.

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Mabel bounces up and down like an excited rabbit, "My frenemy works here! This will be like one of those movies where bitter rivals learn about friendship and working together through various montages!"

"Don't get too used to it," Pacifica places a hand on Mabel's head, stopping her bouncing, "As soon as I make the money I need, I'm leaving this nasty hobo lodge and never coming back, so enjoy being around me while you still can. Now, I'll be in my room."

Pacifica starts to walk away until Dipper stops her, "Hold up, room? You live here too?"

"When I said my parents kicked me out, I mean they really kicked me out."

"Well, in that case," Mabel grabs Pacifica's hand and starts running away, "Come on, Pacifica! We got a birthday to celebrate!"

"Oh no, oh no, SOMEONE HELP-" Pacifica yells fade away.

"This is so weird. Living with Pacifica?" Dipper says.

"She's honestly not that bad, dawg," Soos tells Dipper, "She helped me pick out a new, shiny suit. Check it!"

Soos shows Dipper the sleeve of his suit, which Dipper notices look very high-priced. "I don't know what dead animal I'm wearing," Soos says, "but it's making me look gooooood!"

"Yeah, Pacifica is funny too, though she takes forever in the bathroom." Melody explains, "If you need to go pee, go before her hairspray and beauty products cover the walls. No way of getting in once she gets it."

"And apparently I'm the first Corduroy her family has ever worked with in over 100 years. I thought that was kind of neat." Wendy says, "I don't know who the last was, I don't keep up with all that ancient family biz like she does."

"You'll forget she's even here in no time," Melody says, "Now: I. Got. Tinsel."

The sun rises for the next morning of Gravity Falls as Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles sleep in the attic like in the summer. Dipper's eyes slowly open as he wakes up. He rubs them and gets out of bed, heading out of the room. Mabel continues to sleep, her and Waddles snoring the exact same sound.

Dipper walks down the stairs and to the bathroom. He turns the knob only for it to be locked. "What?" Dipper says to himself. He puts his ear to the door where he hears the sink running. He knocks on the door, "Hello? Who's in there?"

"Dipper?" Pacifica says, her voice muffled behind the door.

"Pacifica? You're an early bird too?" Dipper asks.

"I have to be, I take three hours to get ready."

Dipper rolls his eyes, "Three hours? I thought we've been over the whole 'looks' thing. Remember Mr. What's-His-Face?"

"Just because I covered myself in garbage for a photoshoot one day doesn't mean I want to be covered in garbage every day. I still want to look decent sometimes."

"Well, can I come in and brush my teeth?"

"What? Ew, no, stay out."

"What are you doing?"

"Putting on makeup, dork." Pacifica says.

"... Are you naked?"

"EXCUSE ME?! First off, don't ever ask me that again, and second, what MANIAC puts on their makeup naked?"

"Ok, well, if you're not naked, then let me in."

"WHA- NO! What kind of a backroad hillbilly thinking is that?! This is MY time!" Pacifica yells at Dipper.

"Ughh, fine, I'll use a stick and mud to brush my teeth instead." Dipper toys, "You're gonna have to deal with disgusting Dipper all day!"

Dipper starts to walk away before Pacifica opens the door, though not stepping out, "Wait, are you serious?"

"No, I was about to go eat a Chunko Bar and watch T.V. Did you really think I was serious?"

"I don't know what you freaks do in the woods, I'm learning!"

"Well, can I come in now?"

"... Make it quick," Pacifica shrugs.

Dipper walks in to see Pacifica in her pajamas looking in the mirror and putting makeup on. The entire bathroom has been transformed into what looks like the backstage of a movie set; her outfit hangs on the wall, beauty supplies sit on every ledge they can, and the room stinks of hairspray. Melody was definitely right.

Dipper tip-toes around to try and avoid the eyeshadow products placed organized on the floor of the bathroom until he's beside Pacifica by the sink. He starts brushing his teeth as Pacifica works on her cheeks, the two in silence. Dipper glances at Pacifica in the mirror.

"Don't look at me." Pacifica commands. Dipper straightens his eyes back up. Pacifica mumbles under her breath where Dipper cannot hear, "Not yet."

Out of nowhere, a third person flies into the bathroom screaming. Mabel grabs Pacifica and Dipper, startling them. "GUYS! GUYS! GUESS WHAT?!"

Dipper tries to say something, but the toothpaste in his mouth gargles it up so all he says is, "BLARGH HULARGH?!"

"LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!" Mabel drags the two over to the bathroom window. Tiny white snowflakes fall from the sky. "IT'S SNOWING!"

Dipper accidentally swallows the toothpaste, "Snowing?! Heck yeah- AAAUGH THAT TASTE SO BAD, OH NO."

The twins rush out of the room and to the front door where Soos and Melody are already outside. "IT'S SNOWING MY DUDES!" Soos yells enthusiastically.

Mabel, who is followed by Waddles, runs outs to meet up with two, "Soos, prepare to be a sled!"

Dipper is about to join them but then stops himself. He calls out, "Hey, Pacifica, you coming?"

Pacifica hesitantly answers from the bathroom, "Uh, no, I'm not ready yet."

"You can do your makeup later. Come on, it's snowing!" Dipper yells back.

"No! Just… I'll be out there in a minute!"

Dipper nods and runs out cheering. He joins the group playing in the fallen snow. It only now started, so the snow has not started sticking to the grass yet, but that does not Mabel from making snow angels.

Pacifica steps out of the bathroom and looks back and forth down the ends of the empty hallway, her makeup only half done. She gives a sigh of relief before closing the bathroom door and continuing her morning.

Later that day at around noon, the four have long gotten back into the shack, now sitting in the living room and watching Christmas specials on T.V. like the classic 'Randall the Red-Eared Reindeer: Watch me get Bullied for 2 Hours!' Wendy has arrived for work, though there seems to be none for today, so she has joined them.

Dipper and Mabel sit in the middle of the floor with handfuls of wrapped candy laying around them on the floor to snack on. Mabel picks up Waddles and wraps him in a blanket, "Doo doo doo, pig in a blanket, doo doo doo, now he looks like a burrito."

Pacifica walks from her room to the living room to be greeted by everyone. She looks like her normal self as she goes up to the wall beside Soos's recliner and leans on it.

Dipper scoots backward until his back touches the wall beside Pacifica. "Hey, you never came outside earlier." He whispers.

"Huh? Oh, I got held up with, you know… watering the... orchids."

"That lie only works at your old house." Dipper tells her.

"I know, I realized that halfway in and couldn't back out. This place could use some orchids though, just saying." Pacifica slides down the wall and sits beside Dipper.

"Well, now do you want to go play in the snow?"

"Play in it? I thought you all were just looking at it." Pacifica questions.

"What? No, we were playing in it… You have played in the snow before, right?"

"Oh, sure, I do Christmas parades all the time and go on fancy carriage rides-"

"No," Dipper interrupts, "I mean, 'play' play in the snow."

"... I'm not following." Pacifica admits.

Dipper grabs a piece of candy and flings it at Mabel. She spikes up and spins around. She then starts crawling over to the two. Waddles follows by rolling over burrito-style.

"What's up?" Mabel whispers, "What are you two doing here in the back by yourselves? Telling each other your deepest, darkest secrets? Ooh, I have one-"

"No, Mabel, listen. We have a code 6-18 on our hands." Dipper says to Mabel.

"A 6-18? Who?" Mabel's face goes serious. Dipper points at Pacifica, prompting Mabel to begin freaking out.

"Wait, what's this about, you two have secret codes?" Pacifica asks.

"During last semester, Mabel and I got bored so we 55-92 a 1-14 so we can 5-5." Dipper explains, "Ready, Mabel?"

"38!" Mabel cheers.

"Ugh, you two are the weirdest." Pacifica tells them. Blanket Waddles rolls over to the group until he is stopped by Pacifica's foot. "... I think your pig is broken."

The twins drag Pacifica out into the snow, all three wearing coats and gloves. The snow has started sticking but not that much, just a thin layer over the surface of the grass. "Have you ever built a snowman before?" Dipper asks Pacifica.

"A snowman? Is this like some Frankenstein-thing from that nerd book?" Pacifica jokes.

"A snowman is a friend you build from the snow. You give it a name, face, and then watch it slowly melt and die over the next two months! Magical, right?" Mabel explains.

"And you're gonna help us make one." Dipper says.

"The biggest one! THE BIGGEST SNOWMAN IN THE UNIVERSE!" Mabel yells.

"... This sounds above my pay grade." Pacifica tells them.

"Just roll up a ball of snow and meet back here." Dipper explains.

"I call the big booty ball!" Mabel raises her hand.

"I call the belly ball. You make the tiny face ball, Pacifica." Dipper says, "Ok, break!"

Dipper and Mabel run off in opposite directions. Pacifica lets out a big, "Ugghh…" and goes in the other direction. Mabel grabs a handle of snow and dirt and starts rolling. Dipper does the same, though he starts realizing there is not that much snow on the ground to roll up yet. Pacifica stands by the shack and slowly picks up pieces of snow from the ground and rolls them in a ball with her glove.

After a couple of minutes of laboring work, Mabel's 'booty ball' base of the snowman has picked up more dirt than snow, to the point where there's not that much snow on it. That does not stop her though. She finds a good stopping point and yells, "Everyone, group up!"

Dipper rushes over, faster than Pacifica's walk, and places the 'belly ball' on top of Mabels. His has retained more snow than hers, but it's still filled with leaves and small sticks. Pacifica shows up last and gently places a clump of snow she meticulously picked out on top of Dippers. The snowman barely reaches a foot high, and it is leaning slightly to the right with grass sticking out of it everywhere. They all stare at it for a moment.

"Wait, we forgot the most important part." Mabel uses her finger to draw a smiley face on the snowman's head. Mabel smiles at it as Dipper and Pacifica look at it in awe.

"... Wow, that's pathetic." Dipper says suddenly. Pacifica bursts out laughing, obviously thinking the same thing. Dipper and Mabel join her.

"We made a dirtman!" Pacifica giggles.

"Dirtman! Dirtman!" Mabel chants.

Dipper speaks up, "We'll have to wait for the snow to really start falling before we can make a real snowman."

"I don't know," Pacifica smirks, "I don't think we could ever top Dirtman."

The foot-tall Dirtman stares at the sky with its drawn-on smile.

"Do we have any magical hats to bring him to life?" Mabel asks.

"Here, we'll use this one." Pacifica knocks Dipper's trapper hat off his head and into her palms. She then places it on top of Dirtman's head. The three wait for him to come to life.

"... He's thinking about it." Mabel tells them.

"If this is what playing in the snow is like, then let's go find something better to do." Pacifica turns to the door, "Come on, hat hair."

Dipper feels his hair, realizing the trapper hat has sculpted the top of it into a funny shape. He shakes his hair around and follows Mabel and Pacifica inside.

The three go and watch more T.V. before their afternoon is halted by Soos telling Pacifica to go do all the chores of the Mystery Shack. Dipper and Mabel watch throughout the day as Pacifica cleans the floors, works on new attractions, and stocks the gift shop. The twins offer their help at different points, but Pacifica denies it, earning her work.

That night, in an attempt to help Pacifica relax after a hard day, Mabel convinces her to join the twins for board game night. Pacifica reluctantly agrees and the three of them sit on the attic floor, Pacifica looking out of place in her usual outfit while the twins wear their pajamas, playing the board game 'Surgery: This Man Ate a Wrench, Now Pull it Out.' They have all have since started taking it way too seriously.

"Doctor, doctor, we're losing him!" Dipper says in a worried voice, "He swallowed a butterfly and it's stuck in his small intestine!"

"Don't worry, I got this. I have multiple PhDs in being medically amazing and super rich." Doctor Pacifica Northwest tells the two. She inches the pliers further and further into the man's stomach, trying not to touch the edges. Dipper and Mabel watch in fear as Pacifica begins to sweat.

She has a hold on the butterfly and slowly starts picking it up when: "ZZZT! AHHH!" Pacifica hits the side of the stomach and the board game man yells in pain.

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!" Pacifica yells at him before flipping the game over in rage.

"Doctor, I'm afraid we lost him." Mabel says mournfully in a low, masculine voice, "His family told me to give you this if he died."

Mabel hands Pacifica an envelope, which confuses her. "... Wait, is this still the doctor bit? Who gives the doctor a letter-"

"Just open it." Mabel interrupts.

Pacifica rips the envelope open to find a birthday card. The front is a pug laying back on a chair making a huge double chin. Beside it, the card reads, "Hey, pretty thang! You must be sweaty because…" Pacifica opens up the letter, "You lookin' straight FIRE on your birthday! Happy birthday, dawg!"

"This is from the gift shop." Pacifica says, "I stocked this exact card a couple of days ago."

"We only had last night to come up with something, don't judge?" Mabel points out, "Did you read what we wrote?"

Pacifica notices the other side of the card has their messages written on it, one in blue pen and one in crayon.

'WOWIE! ZOWIE! KABLABLOWIE! That's the noise confetti shooters make! I hope this makes up for the late birthday gift! Have a spec-tastic-awesome-tacular day!'

- Mabel! (And Waddles!)

'Happy late birthday Pacifica. I'm happy we cleared everything up this past summer. I hope you're able to get out of here as fast as you can so you can go start that million-dollar business of yours. But, until then, I'm glad you're here.'

- Dipper

Pacifica looks at the two messages with a smile, her eyes shaking slightly. She feels her emotions acting up on her and straightens herself up with a deep breath stop them. "Phew, wow, guys, this… This means a lot, actually." Pacifica tries to keep up her old persona, "But, hey, look at that, you dorks didn't put any money in this. What kind of birthday card doesn't have any money?"

"Flip it over to the back." Dipper instructs her. Pacifica flips to the back of the card to find a ten-dollar-bill taped to it.

"There, our contribution to your future business! Now we're shareholders! I think that's how it works." Mabel cheers.

Pacifica stares at the money. She starts rubbing her watery eyes, trying to keep it down. "... Thank you."

"Aww, Pacifica!" Mabel goes in for a hug. Pacifica suddenly hisses at her.

"NOPE. NO HUGS." Pacifica yells, backing away from Mabel who is still trying to go for the hug, "I DON'T HUG PEOPLE. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I HUGGED SOMEONE. NEVER!" Mabel backs off last second and just laughs at her. Pacifica relaxes.

"Also," Pacifica changes the subject, "I think I broke your game."

The three look over at the surgery game, laying face down. A muffled "AAAAUUGHH, THE PAIN!" is heard.

"I'll fix it." Mabel says as she slides away over to the board game to put all the pieces back in.

Dipper playfully leans over towards Pacifica, "So, you don't hug people, huh?"

Pacifica starts blushing pure red, "YOU- FRICK- I- NO- BUT- YES… AUUGHH!" Pacifica punches Dipper in the shoulder, who laughs at her. But then she starts punching harder, and then harder.

"Ow, ow! Pacifica! PACIFICA!" Dipper is now laying on the floor as Pacifica slaps his arm repeatedly in rage.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Mabel watches from afar.

"MABEL HELP!"

"AAAAUUUUGGHH!" Pacifica wails on him.

Outside the attic window in the darkness of the night, unknown to the kids, the snow has begun to pick up. Dirtman sits idly by with Dipper's trapper hat, starting to be covered under the onslaught of the sudden blizzard.

Large footsteps make its way towards Dirtman until a shadowy figure looms above the helpless snowman. Bright red eyes look down at the foot tall mound of dirt. The monster begins to gently brush unwanted snow off of Dirtman, inspecting it. The monster turns and reaches behind it until it pulls something out of the snow: Two tiny sticks.

The monster carefully pokes the sticks into Dirtman's sides, giving it arms. It then straightens up Dirtman's hat before leaving. Right as the monster is about to go back into the woods, it turns around and looks at the brightly lit attic window of the Mystery Shack.