'Reset'

Was the words that seemed to float in mid air in front of Izuku Midoriya

'What the hell'

Was the first thought that stuck in Izuku's head, he was utterly dumbfounded at the situation presented to him. There was no infinitely black, no light at the end of the tunnel not even a hospital room with broken bones everywhere.

There was just that single word, the only option he had was to walk towards it as the pain that had briefly struck faded with every passing second.

Izuku had no idea how long he had just stared at the word as silent tears traced down the well known path of his cheeks, until he laughed. A hollow laugh which held no joy, an empty laugh with no emotion.

Then, after what felt like hours of absolute silence Izuku stepped towards the floating word and touched it. Instantly feeling like he had been dragged backwards through icy cold water his eyes snapped open to the sound of his old childhood friend snapping the usual insults but it fell on deaf ears as Izuku just stared forward with no emotion in his eyes, he looked completely blank at the situation.

Katsuki clicked his fingers loudly in front of Izuku's face and promptly snapped him out of his state with a loud "Oi Deku", Izuku eyes slowly met Katsukis and the latter of the two couldn't shake the feeling that something was undeniably wrong, like he had forgotten something and was having deja vu.

"If you really want to be a hero you could take a swan dive off the roof and hope to- Oi where are you going?!" Katsuki half yelled at the grennette, cutting himself off halfway through as Izuku bolted out of the room, ignoring his teachers and Katsukis surprised and angered cries as he ran to the rooftop yet again. The first time he had done this it had been after class had ended but he was back, he had no idea how or why. He heard Katsuki follow him up the stairs and heard the pounding of footsteps and a "What the fuck are you doing Deku?!" before he jumped again, the fall being too quick to register and pain spreading through his body like magma for a quick second before he was back to the word.

-This couldn't be real, it had to be some sort of nightmare- nobody could just come back, nobody could reset as they wished.

It was only a few minutes before Izuku touched the word this time, once again being pulled back to his seat at class with Katsuki hurling insults at him again. The same lines as always,

"If you want to be a hero so bad-" Katsuki began yelling but was soon cut off by Izuku as his lifeless eyes rose to meet crimson

"Why don't I take a swan dive off the roof?" He finished, that seemed to be the wrong move as Katsuki instantly flared with a new surge of anger and slammed his hands down on Izuku's desk just as Izuku ran for the roof again, running up two steps at a time to get there faster he didn't pay any attention to what Katsuki had to say as he jumped for the third time.

Again, it didn't work and he was back with his only option being to reset. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes, realising what it meant and just how real it was.

He, Izuku Midoriya, who had been bullied his whole life for not possessing a quirk had exactly that- he couldn't die, only reset. The one reason he had been bullied for so long, the reason that drove him to that roof in the first place was a lie- and he may as well have been quirkless.

The one thing he'd so desperately desired had been stripped away from him, the last thing he had ever hoped for was gone because he couldn't die. He hoped if he died enough it'd stop, he'd hoped that once he got past ten it'd end and the universe would realise.

Ten became twenty, twenty became thirty until he eventually gave up. He had tried pretty much everything, he'd jumped a good seventeen times with the hope of 'a higher building will be enough' until he'd jumped from the tallest and still woken up, walked into traffic, taken pills and cut his wrists wide open but nothing worked. At first he'd felt somewhat angry, that he had finally done it just for it to be thrown right back in his face again and again and again. By the end of it he just felt hopeless, useless because even though he had a quirk it was essentially that he couldn't kill himself properly.

The last time he died hadn't been intentional, he'd been walking home when some sort of sewer sludge villain had captured him- it was suffocating him and as tears blurred his vision some distant part of him thought a hero would come but they never did, this death had been longer and much more painful than the others as his lungs burned for air and the sludge covered his whole body. When he'd finally died and returned to the word he felt a shiver run up his body, the texture of it filling his lungs, the smell and the taste almost made him gag just remembering it.

He reset and taken a different route home, making sure to avoid any drain covers like the plague.

Eventually he'd gotten through the day, walked home without dying and having to restart halfway through again and he felt completely drained. Reliving half of the same day thirty odd times over wasn't exciting, before he opened the door he set his fake smile so his mother wouldn't worry too much.

Inko happily greeted him and instantly picked up on how tired he was,

"What's wrong Izuku?" She asked as he took his shoes off and closed the door, he gave her a bright smile

"Nothing mom, just a bit tired. I think I'm going to sleep a bit earlier tonight" He replied, desperate to just relax as his mother hugged him tight with worry evident on her face.

"Okay, I'll leave some food in the microwave if you get hungry" she offered before kissing Izuku on the forehead in a motherly manner, he smiled at her

"Thanks mom" Izuku replied, careful to not let exhaustion slip into his tone as he walked to his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed, body burning with phantom pain as he just lay there and stared at the ceiling with dull eyes.

Katsuki felt off, he couldn't explain it and had no idea as to why but he felt as though his brain had been scrubbed with a wire sponge as he had a massive headache, he felt like he was forgetting something really important but had no idea as to what it was.

It wasn't just him that was off either, Deku had been so blank the whole day and didn't seem to be hurt at all by anything the blonde had said to him- he looked as if he'd known what Katsuki was going to say, which was possible since he'd been bullied by him since he was 4. A lingering sense of guilt had ebbed its way into his mind, he didn't know why but every glance at the green haired boy was followed with a sharp pang of guilt and sadness.

Deku hadn't even gone to retrieve the book Katsuki had thrown out of the window, whenever he'd done something like that before the grennette would always scramble to save his possession but he just didn't seem to care anymore. It annoyed the hell out of him that Deku wasn't shaking in fear or begging him to stop like he usually would, did that quirkless loser think he was better than Katsuki? The thought made anger surge through him like fire, he scowled at the ground silently.

'Damn Deku, thinks he can ignore me like that' he thought hatefully as he walked home, hardly sparing a harsh glance in the direction of Dekus home as he stomped inside and slammed the door shut.

—

Izuku fiddled with a blade with his fingers, for so long he'd contemplated and now he'd done it the universe went 'fuck you' and now he had a quirk, he couldn't even convince anyone he had a quirk because saying 'I can reset time by dying' is a ticket to therapy.

For once he was thankful for Katsukis bullying, the constant burn marks and bruises had forced him to make his wardrobe long sleeved so all that was in there was full length sleeved tops and coats and full length trousers. After taking his shirt off to change from his slightly burned school uniform he spared himself a glance in the mirror. He was met with scars, a bunch of them as well. He glanced down to his wrists to see impossibly thick pinky red lines from the numerous times he'd slit them wide open. They still stung dully but the pain was fading fast, unfortunately the scars don't fade at all which left him with the same shade of pinky red lines scrawled across his torso, legs and neck. He lightly touched the blatant scar protruding from his neck, that would be more difficult to lie about but it wasn't anything a good bit of makeup or a scarf wouldn't cover.

He glanced around his room, to the all might posters he still kept up- he had given up on being a hero long ago but a small part of himself clung to the idea of UA, the future had been something he'd ignored for a year whilst working up the courage to kill himself since he'd thought he'd be dead.

He thought about trying out for UA, maybe they'd let him in on just the written exam... or maybe they'd see he was quirkless and deem him useless like Katsuki had.

He let those thoughts fester, he'd long given up trying to shake them after they'd been so persistent in staying.

"You cannot become a hero without a quirk"

Those words spoken by his idol had cut him deeper than any blade could have. They were spoken so confidently, like there was truly no way for him to achieve his goal.

Izuku slumped in his chair, he remember that reset clearly- All Might had said those 8 words and he'd jumped, All Might had yelled but had been at his time limit and couldn't do anything as he plummeted to the ground.

Tears dripped down his face slowly, but he felt absolutely nothing because what was the point?

Death was no longer a threat, he could do literally anything and reset with a quick death. Nothing mattered anymore, there was nothing at stake for anything- if anybody died he could just reset. He'd been hopeless before but this was the most hopeless situation he could have imagined, at least before he'd felt something other than this sinking feeling of nothing sitting like an anchor in his stomach.

Everything felt like it had been turned black and white, bland, colourless and boring.

Izuku grabbed a proper hold of the relatively small blade in his hand and plunged it into his neck, a sharp jab of pain that he didn't feel all that much after doing it ten times over. His world faded to black until the word reset popped up in front of him

'Why did I do that' Izuku thought as he walked towards the world and woke up once again, his body still cold and tingling from death.

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Just wanted to say that the first 3 chapters of this were written half a year ago so sorry if there's a slight change between 1-3 and the rest of the fic

If this fic isn't for you and you want to review I only ask it's constructive