Epilogue

SH: Thank you for the computer, Stark.

TS: It's Tony, and that is a phone, and you're welcome.

SH: Sherlock then. If this is a phone, then what is a Nokia?

TS: A sad relic of the past. Once my dad agrees to take up my line of practical inventions instead of just making weapons, I'll revolutionize the field of inter-personal communication.

SH: Greetings from Harry. He says you should make a flying carpet. He believes that would be really useful.

TS: I like it. Get right on it.

SH: Harry would like to meet you.

TS: …

SH: So would I.

TS: …

TS: ...

TS: You know, I was going to enroll at CalTech, and I know for a fact they don't have a remote study program. Yet. But for a Stark? I think they can make that happen. Also, Dad would probably be thrilled to get me out of his hair.

SH: When will you be here?

TS: Let me just check… How does Sunday sound?

SH: As it happens, my social calendar is wide open on Sunday, and so is my brother Harry's. We look forward to seeing you, Stark. Tony.

SH: Harry says hi.

Twenty Years Later...

"NO! No, no, no, no, no! You can't just -"

"Be right back!" Harry gave a cheeky wink and vanished into thin air.

"That boy is going to be the death of me," Tony groaned.

"He is rather aggravating, isn't he?" Sherlock agreed mildly, then bent back down to study the papers from child protective services some more. "Look, Luke writes here that Melinda's parents have been accused of abusive behaviour twice before, but for some reason, the state never followed up. Sound like someone we know?" He raised a sarcastic eyebrow.

Tony kind of envied him that ability. "Darn right it does. So you think we've got another neglected muggleborn with magical cover-up on our hands?"

Just then, a crack rang through the office of Patronus Inc. and Harry reappeared, a frightened looking nine year-old in his arms.

"Harry!" Tony scolded. "You can't just go around kidnapping children all the time!"

"The heck I can't! Her father was about to beat her. With a whiskey bottle. You really want to tell me I should have left her there?"

Tony scowled, but shut up. Sherlock eyed the shiner on the girl's left eye and decided to hold his peace, as well.

"Besides," Harry smirked, "getting kidnapped has worked out pretty well for us, hasn't it?"

The three men looked at each other and smiled. Indeed, being kidnapped had worked out well for them.

Like a charm.

~ The End ~

A/N: ...And that's it. Don't forget to feed the author: Comments, be they happy yelling or constructive criticism, make my day! : )

ETA Dec. 28, 2019: I just remembered that I read a fic about Sherlock being kidnapped and enjoying it way too much some five years ago. That's probably what inspired me to write this one. If you want to read more hilarious kidnappings, look for "Ransom of the Red Pirate" by chappysmom. ^^