you're going to remember me as "the author with the ridiculously long author's notes that nobody reads"

when i was writing Some Things Change, i'd had this overwhelming urge to delve further into everyone's feelings and reactions, as disney has a tendency to half-ass human emotion. there are consequences for actions; this is known. i wanted to explore consequences and how they're dealt with - delving into Anna and Elsa like this isn't something I've done before, but it was fun. hopefully it's well done :')

if you're anti-Anna, don't read. if you aren't prepared to see things from Anna's perspective, don't read. the point of this is to show that feelings are valid, even if they aren't "fair" to someone else. if you aren't okay with the idea of that, please don't read lol

this fic is very pro Anna AND Elsa! it does not favour one or the other, but it DOES focus more on Anna's personal struggles, and how Elsa deals with that. that said, if you are an Elsanna shipper, leave. This is strictly platonic and sisterly and i don't want y'all fucking it up lol

Warnings - this fic contains: characters with ptsd, emotional trauma, mentions of neglect including child neglect, mentions of panic attacks, detailed anxiety attacks, mentions of severe loss/death, and details of grief. I know these warnings sometimes sound ridiculously intense compared to what the story really is, but i'd rather be overdramatic than underdramatic.

Takes place after the events of Frozen2, so this is your spoiler warning

All she could hear was the sound of ice cracking and shifting. The sounds echoed throughout the ancient glacier; it was deafening. Only barely could the sound of footsteps be heard as she made her way across the ice. She knew it was too late. She was shivering; terrified— she'd never felt the cold before. Her hands were so cold, she could barely move her fingers. Her hair had turned white and her skin was beginning to frost over. Is this the end?

She had to do this. It's what's right. It has to be. This voice had been calling her for months; it was time to find out the truth. She could've told her sister. She should have told her sister. But she was afraid of frightening her. Afraid of bringing more trouble into her life.

That didn't work. Anna had to know these things. She had to. She couldn't function otherwise. Her anxiety wouldn't allow it. Elsa knew this, and yet, she kept another secret.

It would've been fine—Anna was understanding. It all would have worked out, but then Elsa did the unthinkable.

She pushed Anna away.

Again.

That was the last time they'd seen each other. They'd fought; Anna was desperate to protect her sister, and in the heat of the moment, Elsa was unable to communicate clearly. She couldn't explain that Anna couldn't come with. That it required magic; that it was dangerous. No. If Anna knew that it was dangerous, she definitely wouldn't have let Elsa go.

But Elsa needed answers. And now, she was alone. Unable to communicate with the living. She was freezing; dying; alone. Her guilt became overwhelming when she realised that she wasn't going to return to her sister. She had found what she was searching for, yes, but was this sacrifice worth it?

She couldn't move. It was dark, and so cold. Her legs were frozen; the ice was spreading up her body. Her hand froze in place; with her free one, she called out her sister's name and sent her an important piece of the past.

And then, she was gone. Frozen solid. Breathless. Dead.

The look of horror on her face was something that could never be unseen. This wasn't supposed to happen. She promised.

The glacier was still loud; the sounds of the ice became haunting. It was overwhelming. The voice of the siren that called to her began to fade back in, but that peaceful call turned into a scream. A loud, high-pitched scream.

A male voice faded in; "Anna! It's okay! You're dreaming!"

Anna's eyes shot open and she bolted upright, gasping for air. There was a faint squeak in her voice with each breath she took. She was quickly wrapped in a tight embrace—this wasn't the first time she'd woken up like this. Kristoff had barely been sleeping these days; he'd hold her until she was asleep, then he'd watch her for hours.

Three years they'd been together, and he'd never seen her so distraught. They talked about this recurring nightmare of hers—there were two of them, set in two different caves.

She didn't know how she knew that Elsa suffered a similar fate that she herself did three years ago, but she knew. She knew in the moment; she felt it. She knew her sister died alone; that she'd experienced something so intense; something she could have never imagined. And Anna was devastated. It gutted her. All she wanted to do—all she'd ever tried to do was protect her sister. And she failed.

Elsa was alive. She was okay— she'd found herself. She had decided a few weeks ago to stay in Northuldra; she felt more at home there. Anna was happy for her sister, and more than understanding. She wished her all the best, and spoke to her often.

But what Anna always failed to mention or show was how angry she was.

Her fiancé knew. He had to hear all of it, all the time. He wanted to listen, though. He wanted to help her cope. It was important to him. He'd always put her first; to her, he felt like the first person to truly see her. To truly see and hear Anna.

She'd always been kept in the dark. She was always the last to know about anything and everything. It stung, badly, especially when she discovered her parents met their demise because they were searching for answers about Elsa's abilities—yet another thing that they failed to tell their youngest daughter.

Anna wasn't selfish. The exact opposite. She put everyone else before her. Always. When they found the shipwreck; when Elsa pulled up those memories, Anna was devastated for her sister. She knew how agonising it must have felt.

But Anna needed care, too. Those were her parents, too. And their last thoughts; their last exchange was about Elsa.

It hurt. It hurt more than she would've liked. And even after such a tragic discovery, Anna couldn't resonate with her sister. No, Elsa had to push her away, and Anna found herself alone again.

And god, was she angry. She had never been so angry.

How could she be left alone? After everything? Why would Elsa do such a thing?

It was in that cave that Anna hit her low. The lowest she had ever felt. She'd never felt so helpless; so pained. She was reprocessing the loss of her parents; she was trying to not be angry at them, but it was difficult. They left her with nothing. Then, she had to process the loss of Elsa. Her sister; her universe; her other half. The only person that mattered. And that thought hurt her in a different way. What about Kristoff? He mattered; he was her best friend, and she left him behind. And Olaf—the only good thing from her childhood; her last beacon of hope and light was gone. Because of Elsa's decisions.

Anger. A high level of anger that she couldn't seem to get past.

To add to it? She had no home to return to. She knew she had to break the dam; she knew her kingdom would most likely be wiped out.

She cried alone in that cave all night. She clung on tight to the satchel that contained her mother's scarf and what remained of her frozen friend, and she cried. She grieved. She may have slept at some point, but her dreams seemed to fade into reality. Nothing felt real. Nothing felt right.

And it was in that cave that Anna realised: she was worth fighting for. Yes; Anna was valid. Anna was worthy. Anna would be okay in time. She was more than a spare. She had to see that for herself. She had to stand for herself; trying to put motivation behind destroying her home was impossible. She couldn't get up for that.

No. She had to get up for Anna. Because Anna deserved better.

And so, she did. It was too much to handle at times; she fell over her own feet as she struggled to step. But she managed. She found her way out of the cave and tried to do the next right thing.

She never told Kristoff that she had contemplated her life. He didn't need to know. She was reckless; challenging death. She needed to see how close she could get. It was when she almost didn't stick the landing as she leaped off the falling dam that she realised she didn't want to die.

Mattias had saved her. And then, she was safe in her lover's arms.

Just as she was right now. In her bed, in her bedroom, in the home that wasn't destroyed, being held by the person she loved the most, and although her heart was beating too fast and her palms were sweaty, she did feel safe.

It was just a nightmare.

They stayed in silence for a while; they'd already discussed these events to the point where Kristoff was beginning to have the same nightmares. But his were about Anna being alone in that cave. He loved Elsa, truly, but he knew Anna was the one who had really suffered.

So, he held her. He held her until she fell asleep, then he laid her down and held her until the sun came up.

It was Friday. Kristoff had guided Anna through the morning and early afternoon; he was worried about her well-being. They'd agreed to be completely open with each other, and Anna was able to talk about her deepest darkest feelings, fears, and secrets, and not feel like prey. Elsa was coming that evening for their typical weekly catch-up and game night. The first few times, Anna had been excited to see her sister. They both had so much to share. But Anna was tired now, and Elsa was a reminder of her pain.

She didn't let it affect their evening. She wouldn't ever dream of making Elsa feel anything negative. She understood.

But sometimes, she wished Elsa paid more attention to her feelings. She wished her sister could be as loving as attentive as Anna was for her. Sadly, that just wasn't the case.

It had been storming all day, typical for this time of year. Anna and Kristoff had met Elsa just outside the gates, as they usually did. She greeted them both with pleasant hugs and greetings, excited to see them. Time flew by for her in the forest; the weeks felt like they lasted only a day.

It was during their reunion that Elsa made a quick comment; "let's get you both inside before you freeze to death!"

It was a half-hearted joke; a casual comment; completely harmless. Kristoff only noticed enough to chuckle; he and Anna were definitely cold, while Elsa wasn't even wearing proper shoes. The cold truly didn't bother her.

Anna wasn't so amused. In fact, the comment triggered something in her brain that made her scowl at her sister. Elsa was oblivious as she made her way to the castle, linking arms with the new queen as she walked. Anna forced a smile and went alongside her—now is not the time for a fight. It was just a comment; it was harmless.

It was careless.

As they'd began to warm up and make their way down the great hall, a light conversation had begun, though Anna barely said a word.

Freeze to death.

She pictured Elsa alone in that cave, turning to ice as life left her body. She pictured herself fighting through a nasty storm before she too froze solid. It sent a shiver down her spine. She could still feel that cold, even after three years. She remembered the sensation in her chest as she began to froze; she felt the ice burst in her heart before the world went black.

There was nothing funny or casual about freezing to death.

"Are you going to talk to me, or are we already playing charades?"

Another joke. It was light; pleasant. Anna looked at her sister, who had a warm gaze in her eyes, and a light smile across her face. But that smile faded when she felt the chill in Anna's stare. They slowly stopped walking and stood still, staring at each other.

"Is everything all right?" Elsa was concerned—she'd realised then just how exhausted her little sister looked. She was beautiful and made-up; her rich auburn hair was neatly tied in a bun, and although she wore no makeup (she never did), her eyes did seem bright and alert. But they were also very tired. Elsa tried to keep the mood light; "it's exhausting being queen, isn't it?"

Anna forced a smile; "it's not as bad as I thought it would be, but yes. The days are long, and the night's longer."

They slowly picked up pace again. Kristoff stayed on Elsa's left side; Anna on her right. He'd remained silent to give them a chance to communicate, though he knew how to read his fiancée, and could tell how tense she was.

"You do get used to it," Elsa replied, placing her hand on Anna's. Their arms were still linked.

Anna side-eyed her sister. She had so much to say, but mentally talked herself out of it each time. It would be so much easier if I didn't love you so damn much. She knew Elsa meant well, and she knew Elsa had suffered much on her own. That didn't change how Anna felt overall, but it kept her from saying something she'd regret. "I think we should keep things simple tonight," she chimed in. "Maybe cut the evening a bit shorter than usual."

Elsa didn't seem fond of the idea, but she also didn't want to intrude. "We can definitely play it by ear, if you like. I have nowhere to be; this is our night." She pulled Anna a bit closer, tightening her grip around the younger woman's arm.

Anna pulled her arm back, though, to Elsa's surprise. The redhead instead crossed her arms over her stomach and kept her gaze away from her sister's direction.

Elsa wasn't a people person, but she knew body language—especially this particular stance. She grew worried. "Are you sure everything's all right?" she prompted, walking close beside the queen.

Anna nodded distantly, then looked at Kristoff. She took a breath and said, "I have some things to do that I forgot about earlier. Would you please escort my sister to her chambers for the evening?"

Elsa was quite taken aback. She knew how mature and capable her sister was, but Anna never spoke like a queen when it was just the three of them. Why would she? The blonde looked up at her soon-to-be brother-in-law with a questioning gaze—they exchanged a look for a brief second before he nodded at Anna; "of course."

As the redhead began to head off, Elsa gave chase. She took Anna's arm and turned her around so they were facing each other; it wasn't aggressive, but was full of worry. "What's up with you? I'm worried."

Anna almost laughed, but she contained herself. "I'm fine," she said simply. "But I have duties to tend to."

She tried to walk away, but Elsa held her tight, desperate for an explanation. "Hey, wait. We promised to communicate, right? Talk to me. Please."

Anna raised a brow. Don't be mean, she thought to herself. Even to your sister. But her control was lacking. "You...want me to let you in now? Isn't it a bit late for that?"

Elsa—and Kristoff—could hear the sting in her voice. "Anna—"

"You expect me to drop what I'm doing just for you?" She hissed. It was accidental; her tone. She wasn't a mean person; she wasn't rude. But her anger was rising.

Elsa looked hurt, though her surprise outweighed her pain. "I'm sorry for whatever I did—"

Laughter. Anna took her arms back; "what you did? Jesus, Elsa, where do I even start."

"Anna, maybe we should take a break," Kristoff suggested, stepping in.

The sisters both replied with a mutual, "no, no," but Anna's was a lot harsher than Elsa's.

"Should we start with the same old bullshit?"

"Anna—"

"Or is that history now? Yeah, I suppose we can bury thirteen-years of pain with three-years of companionship. That balances out beautifully. Oh, and how about recent events? That voice that you failed to tell me about? Or maybe the fact that we saw our parents' last moments and it was all about you?"

Elsa had crossed her arms by this point; shoulders raised. Her eyes teared up more as Anna's voice got louder. Kristoff stayed silent. She needed this.

"I suppose we also shouldn't then mention that I buried them alone! That they were my parents, too! That I'm not just your spare! But that'd be too much, right?"

Anna took a step closer to Elsa; her heels against Elsa's flats made them the same height, and they were able to make direct eye contact.

"You manipulated my love. You wouldn't stop for five fucking minutes to explain what was going on. I needed you just as much as you needed me. And how did you care for me? You pushed me away. Again."

"I had to." Her voice was soft; broken. She was pained—she hadn't seen Anna like this before. Ever. It killed her. Did she really make her suffer alone? How could sweet, happy, bubbly Anna be depressed? Anxious? Lonely?

"I know you think you did," her voice was stern, but shaky. A tear managed to escape her eye and run down her freckled cheek. "But you have no idea what you put me through." She didn't mean to yell; "I thought I had lost EVERYTHING."

Elsa winced at the volume, but kept her stance.

"I had nothing. And you LEFT me ALONE, Elsa! The last time we'd spoken, we fought. That goodbye-hug lost all meaning after you'd forced us into that boat! I was so ANGRY! And not once—not ONCE did you ask if I was okay."

"Gods, Anna, I—"

"NO." The redhead held up a stern finger, silencing the older woman. "It's my turn. You shut up."

"Anna." Kristoff's voice was gentle and understanding. It grounded her. Pulled her back to reality just enough to make her aware of her words.

The queen took a deep breath; her finger curling in as she made a fist. She let out a shaky breath, not breaking eye contact with those glossy, ice-blue eyes. "My parents died. I was alone. You were all I had, and I didn't even know what you looked like. I tried so hard to be strong, but that was a darkness I never thought I'd get out of. And then..." she trailed slightly, anger turning to pain. "When I was alone. In that cave. After watching and hearing our parent's final moments; Olaf, the only friend I had left—because I never thought I'd see Kristoff again after I left him to follow you... He flurried away. I watched him die. I held him as he died, Elsa. And he was all I had left—of my childhood, of my home, of you. And you were gone. Just like mama and papa; you left and were to never return. I thought Arendelle was gone. The dam had to be broken; I couldn't have ever imagined that you would've saved it."

Elsa let out a soft, shaky breath. "You had nothing."

Anna nodded ever so slightly, pursing her lips to hold back her tears. Her voice was barely a whisper; "nothing."

The blonde lost her gaze as she became aware of her tears. She quickly wiped them away, holding her hands over her mouth as she stared at her sister.

Anna couldn't decide if she felt better. She'd said almost everything that she needed to say. She looked deep into Elsa's eyes, not wanting a response just yet. She wanted her to think. "No matter what, Elsa," she said softly, "I love you."

After a brief moment, the queen turned and walked away. Elsa and Kristoff watched her go, and although the older sister tried to follow, Kristoff held her back. "Give her space," he said gently. "Let her breathe."

Elsa looked up at her friend; "did I say something wrong? Tonight? To trigger this?"

He shrugged lightly. "Maybe. Maybe it was that comment about us freezing. She's been delicate lately."

Of course. It had to have been that comment. Elsa placed her hand flat against her stomach as she felt it churn. "I have to talk to her. I have to make it right."

"With all due respect," Kristoff began, holding her attention to keep her from following Anna; "whether it's fair to anyone or not, there is thirteen—maybe even sixteen years' worth of damage that has to be fixed. Anna loves you more than anything; she'd be willing if you are, but above all else, you have to remember that her feelings are valid."

Elsa nodded, though she was rather lost in thought. All those years, she thought she was suffering alone. She thought Anna was being cared for; loved. But she wasn't? She was alone?

They worked. Their parents worked. They were royals, sure, but they were also dealing with Elsa's magic. Who raised Anna? Who taught her to be queen? Did she truly only have the portraits on the walls to talk to? Was she really neglected for all those years?

It hurt. It hurt more than anything. Elsa brushed away the original plan of a game night—that could wait. Fixing their family was far more important. She knew she had to give it time; she knew she had to think. Things wouldn't be resolved tonight, but she could start the process. She could prove to Anna that she cared. And they'd work at it again next week. And the week after. And Elsa could visit more often. This could work. This could be okay.

Right?

XXXXX

Game night didn't happen. They didn't even have dinner together. Anna had locked herself in her room; something that made Elsa's blood run cold. She'd knocked only twice over the course of four hours, desperate to be acknowledged, but the queen had no interest. She had more to say, but kept her words simple; "go away, Elsa."

It wasn't meant as revenge. Anna wasn't trying to be petty. She just needed time. How much time; she had no idea. But at this rate, no conversation was going to take place before the end of the day. It was already long past sunset; the outside world was dark, cold, and quiet. A perfect place for Elsa to think.

She'd seen Anna open the door for Kristoff; the two disappeared into their chambers a couple of hours ago. Elsa wasn't one to eavesdrop, despite how desperate she was to talk. She couldn't bear to pace around the halls of this massive castle; so, she went outside. She'd made her way down to the water, sitting on the large rocks, watching the gentle waves. Snow was falling rather heavily; the temperature well into the negatives. Her dress was of her own creation, though a new design; her shoulders and arms were entirely bare, alongside a lot of her chest and most of her back. Her hair was still white from the events that took place in Ahtohallan, but it was a small change from the platinum-ash blonde it was before. Despite her thin attire, she wasn't cold in the least. She was shivering, but that was caused by the emotion she was struggling to hold. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but her cries were silent.

She loved Anna. More than anyone, or anything. She thought it was obvious. She'd always gone out of her way to make sure Anna's happiness was number one. What she'd failed to realise was that Anna had emotions other than joy. The redhead had always been a little ball of sunshine; Elsa wholeheartedly believed that nothing could dim that light. To find out Anna had been in pain for sixteen years of her twenty-one years of life...

Agony. It was agonising. Like losing someone you love. Elsa pressed her hands hard into her stomach in an unconscious attempt to stop the pain she was feeling. She still hadn't learned how to handle emotion—she was shut off from humanity for so long, she forgot what it felt like to be human. To just...exist. Anna kept her grounded; kept her real.

But that whole time that Anna was caring for her, she herself was in pain. She pushed her own feelings aside to care for Elsa, and the blonde had never noticed. She knew Anna was selfless, even before the at-the-time princess sacrificed her life for the sake of her sister and her kingdom. But this was on another level. This was nearly two decades of suffering that she endured for Elsa.

A sob escaped her throat so suddenly, it startled her. She shrieked and jumped in response, slowly crawling off the rocks and onto the snow-covered ground as she let herself sob freely. She'd hoped that the snow would muffle her cries; the last thing she needed was someone coming to check on her. No one ever checked on Anna.

The pain of those long years came rushing back. Oh, how badly she wanted to throw open that door and hug her sister. How badly she wanted to sing back to her; to tell her jokes and teach her and love her and tease her. She wanted to grow up with her, and that was stolen from them. She wasn't allowed to be the big sister she'd always dreamed of being. She wasn't allowed to hold her best friend. They weren't allowed to discover the world together. They never got to roam the kingdom in their teen years and gossip about romantic interests. They never got to explore too far and get in trouble for it. They never got to laugh, or fight, or sing—they didn't see each other. They were strangers.

And then, suddenly, they were together again. And just as quickly as that, they were apart. That pattern seemed to continue.

Elsa thought heavily about their relationship; she tried to find the flaws on her side; things that she could control. She'd noticed a pattern of her own; it seemed that every time Anna tried to communicate with her, Elsa ran in one way or another. To Elsa, this was a simple defence mechanism—it was hard for her to communicate. Often times, she needed to take what was said and think on it before she could reply fairly. But to Anna, it was the same story: she was being shut out.

Elsa realised that she had to work hard to be different for Anna. Not to disregard her own feelings or history, but to meet her sister in the middle. You gave up so much for me; surely, I can sacrifice a few boundaries for you. I can learn for you, Anna.

She stared blankly across the fjord, though her view was obstructed by her tears and the falling snow. She brought a shaky hand up to her eyes to wipe them as dry as she could; she was a bit surprised that the tears weren't frozen. She'd never truly understood how her power worked; even after her discoveries and the comfort she found within herself, it was still difficult to understand something so otherworldly.

Anna never struggled to understand. Not once. Their problems were never based around Elsa's powers; when they fought, Anna didn't care about the temperature in the room. She didn't care if the windows frosted over. She wasn't afraid of her sister; Elsa's magic was just a part of who she is. It was that unconditional love and treatment that truly helped Elsa come to terms with herself. Hearing a similar message from her mother only added to that.

But now, she had complicated feelings towards her parents. If they neglected Anna, how could Elsa forgive them for that?

They were only human. They did their best with what they had. They tried.

And they're gone. That's a history that can't be fixed. And most importantly, that isn't Elsa's responsibility. No; she has her own damage to fix. She can only control herself. And now, she had to make the first move.

XXXXX

She'd cleaned up a bit. She had to gather her thoughts. It was hard; finding the courage was so hard. She got a rush of anxiety every time she thought about knocking on that door again—being rejected by the person who had constantly tried to reach her hurt on a whole other level. What have I done?

She sighed and shook her head. "No. You can fix this," she said quietly to herself. Verbal reassurance had always been more helpful for her. It pulled her out of her head, and eased her anxiety just a smidge. "Just talk to her. She needs you. You can do this, Elsa."

A knock came at her bedroom door. Elsa turned, surprised; she called a delicate, "come in."

A moment passed, then the door swung open and Anna stepped in. Elsa felt her heart leap into her throat, and simultaneously, her stomach dropped. Yet again, she failed to make the first move. "Anna. I was just coming to see you."

The redhead seemed surprised, but it was gentle. "You were?"

Elsa nodded and gently hugged herself; "I mean, I was trying to find the courage to come and see you." It was difficult to admit for some reason.

Anna smiled ever so slightly as she shut the door behind her. "Well," she took a few steps closer and gently crossed her arms for comfort. "Beat you to it," she half joked. She had changed into her nightgown; her auburn hair fell loosely in an elegant flow half-way down her back.

"Again," Elsa said softly, defeated. "I'm s—"

"I'm tired of apologies," Anna interrupted, voice still quiet. She'd failed to make eye contact as she spoke. "Words have lost meaning over the years. Certain words, at least."

Elsa nodded distantly. She didn't know if she should speak, or listen.

Anna took a breath then looked at her sister, also defeated. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I've never lost myself like that before," her voice faded out a bit on that last part. "I didn't mean to raise my voice; it was immature, and I'll make sure it doesn't happen again—"

"No."

The queen tilted her head, slightly taken aback. Elsa's voice was stern. It surprised her. "No?"

The blonde moved closer, expression showing her desperation. "No, it will happen again, and that's okay. You have every right to be upset and you should never apologise for being human."

Anna smiled lightly again. Those words were extra important coming from Elsa. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"Your honesty will never hurt me, Anna," she replied. "That isn't for you to worry about, anyways. You've got to speak up for yourself. Always. Even against me. I want us to be able to talk—gods, I want us to be able to fight and make up as sisters do." She paused, then continued when Anna said nothing. "Things don't have to be perfect all the time. And things aren't going to fall apart if we have a falling out. We have to learn."

Anna's gaze fell as defeat rushed over her again, and Elsa noticed. It sent her into a panic, but she tried to contain it. Did she say something wrong? Is she missing something? What does Anna need? Is it ruined? Is it over? Anna's going to tell her to leave and they're never going to speak again? No, she wouldn't do that. Would she? If she decides she deserves better; if she decides that—

Elsa was ripped out of her thoughts when she was wrapped in a tight embrace. Her arms instinctively wrapped around her sister and they held each other close, relaxing.

"I have spent my entire life petrified that I'm going to lose those that I love, and that's all that seems to happen."

Her voice was so delicate and pain-filled that it made Elsa's tears quickly return. She tightened her grip around Anna's petite frame, and buried her face in the crease of her warm, freckled neck.

Anna stared blankly towards the wall. It still felt weird to be in this room; to be on this side of the door. The weirdest part was that there was someone in that room all along; she hadn't spent those years just talking to a door. There was another lonely little girl on the other side, who lived to hear the voice of her baby sister.

Anna tightened her grip, too. Tears welled in her eyes, but she swallowed them as best she could. "You were my light, too. The only thing I lived for. The thought of someday meeting you was all that got me through those lonely nights."

Elsa's fingers curled in as she grabbed at Anna's hair and clothes; she tried to contain her emotions, but couldn't, and cried on her sister's shoulder.

Anna felt her move in her arms; she knew she was crying. It made tears escape her eyes, too. "I know you're broken. I know you've been through hell, too. I just wish we could walk through the flames together."

Elsa nodded; "we will." Her voice was broken and weak; she sounded nasally due to her crying. She held Anna even tighter, if that were even possible. "We will always do this together, Anna, I swear. I'll never leave you behind again."

Anna wanted to smile at the thought, but couldn't. How could she believe such promises? The first day they'd spent together, Elsa said the same thing. Together. Then again as they travelled to the forest. Then again as they—

"Prove it."

A beat passed, then they mutually pulled out of the embrace. Elsa kept a hold on Anna's upper arms, but the redhead took her own hands back and crossed her arms again. They looked at each other with tears eyes; cheeks red and puffy. Elsa looked genuinely upset, whilst Anna almost looked betrayed; broken and distrusting.

"Prove it," the queen repeated. "Don't just say it."

Elsa nodded distantly; "I will. But—"

"No buts." She shook her head, clearly unimpressed. She wanted to be understanding. She wanted to be soft. But she couldn't let herself. Not this time. "I know you're learning, Elsa, we both are. We've had the same amount of contact with people; the same amount of practice. But I'm not a stranger. I'm not someone you met on the street; I'm your sister. And I know we grew up apart and we have much to learn about each other, but we spent the first five years of my life together, and I want us to be close again. And I know it's not realistic—we were young, but we could still—"

"Anna."

The queen stopped. She'd started rambling. She did that sometimes. It was very Anna. She smiled sheepishly; "sorry; I get carried away."

Elsa smiled warmly; "I want us to be close, too." She thought for a beat, then when they made eye contact again, she continued; "I am sorry; truly. I had no idea. There are so many things that I wish I had done differently; for both of us. I wish I could take all your pain and turn it into something beautiful for you. I wish you hadn't spent so long alone— I'm so sorry for the consequences. For your anxiety and your depression and your fear of abandonment—for everything that affects your daily life, I am so sorry."

"You get it," Anna replied quietly, offering a weak, lop-sided shrug. "You get it because you feel the same in some way. We could understand each other. We could help each other. But I'm so afraid to talk to you sometimes; I'm so afraid that you're gonna shut me out again that I almost don't want to get close to you. I can't handle any more pain. I just can't."

Her heart broke again. Anna was right about one thing: they do understand each other. That was one thing that really bothered Elsa, was knowing that the pain she'd always felt; the pain she'd always tried to protect Anna from had been there all along. They really were in the same boat. Elsa gently ran her hands up and down Anna's upper arms, then took a tight hold of her. She looked deep into her aqua eyes; "Anna."

The redhead sniffled. She knew what words were coming; she'd heard it all before. It was different this time. Elsa was trying. Elsa heard her, and saw her, and accepted her. That's a step. But was Anna really willing to give her another chance?

"I promise from now on we will do this together."

Each word was fully pronounced; her tone was stern; she was serious.

"We will work through this together."

One more chance to make things right. It was only fair; Anna herself had been lacking at communicating, too. It was a mutual ordeal. This chance would be for them both.

"Are you willing to try? To work at it? To truly let each other in?"

It would be a lifelong healing process. Or so she figured. There was too much history, and surely the future would only be busier. Anna was queen now; she did have duties to tend to. And, she was engaged. She was soon going to be a queen and a wife. She saw children in her future; her near future. It was easy to picture; life with Kristoff was more than ideal; they had incredible communication skills following their engagement. They'd sat down and talked out everything. They were always on the same page, even if they sometimes had disagreements.

A queen. A wife. A mother. A sister?

Could she handle all of those responsibilities? Was she ready? She was only twenty-one. Her future without Elsa looked easy, as much as that pained her. It felt easy; the idea of moving on. Building her own family and her own legacy. She was Arendelle's hero; this was her forever home. Did Elsa have a place in Anna's future? Elsa made it clear that Anna had a place in hers. Was that mutual?

The queen looked at her sister, and Elsa looked back at her, awaiting an answer.

Are you willing to try?

Anna smiled warmly. "Of course."

still waiting on that therapy session, WDAS.

this is a one-shot for now but i may someday write a part two depending on feedback? no idea lol

thanks for reading :')

EDIT - I want to add this real quick: Anna's struggling was never touched down on in the movies; that's why it's the main focus here. I take a lot of inspo not only from movies/shorts, but also from CANON books, song outtakes, and the Broadway show. I pay attention to the little details (Anna's anger at the coronation, for example) and apply that to the characters. BOTH of them were isolated, BOTH of them were neglected, and BOTH of them suffered, and yet people tend to see only Elsa as the victim, and not Anna. I have no intentions of playing favourites at all, I just think Anna's issues need to be the focus for a change. Perhaps Elsa's struggles will be next; there's so much more to her character than Disney showed. I'm definitely considering a follow-up, but I make no promises.

I should also let you know that I've filtered/deleted about 11 reviews so far from "guests" who are anti-Frozen (why are you here if you don't even like the movie?), anti-Anna (also seems weird that you'd watch a movie about Anna if you hate her?), or are simply just being assholes (gotta love the trolls), so please don't waste your time :)

Thank you to the reviews received so far! I appreciate your feedback.