Note

Anime: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Concepts: Reborn!Tsuna, Kinda-Overpowered!Tsuna, Incorrect!Timeline

I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Fire summoned by will.

Adults cursed to be babies by a freaking pacifier.

Kyoko's sparkly smiles.

The willful fire has at least seven different properties.

Gokudera Hayato's unlimited bombs.

Basically-Aliens.

Ten Year Bazooka.

Leon the Lizard giving birth to Enzo the Turtle.

Leon.

Yet, with all these on the list of Impossible Realities, one Sawada Tsunayoshi, previously nicknamed Dame-Tsuna, historically nicknamed Neo Vongola Primo, the Decimo of Vongola, proud survivor of Reborn-The-Greatest-Hitman's tutoring, never considered the idea of being reborn. Whether it be a cruel trick of fate or Byakuran the Douchebag of Unwanted Adventures (don't ask), Tsuna now found himself staring at the eyes of his mom after she just gave birth (definitely don't ask).

Tsuna swore.

Both versions of swearing.

He swore to his kind-hearted yet airhead mother that he would do better this time around and most importantly, he would be prepared.

He also followed that up with at least 50 curse words in many different (forced-to-learn) languages.

Tsuna, internal shudder, would be prepared when Reborn came around this time.

When Tsuna turned five, he knew what event was coming up. The blasted trip that got his flames sealed. On a completely unrelated note, isn't interesting how sealing someone's active flames, especially a child's, causes an imbalance in that person's body? And most interesting enough, this effect is doubled if that person is a Sky?

How interesting, indeed.

This random bit of information was given to him before his death (which thankfully was at an old age, somehow). Hayato, the nerdy intellectual he was, paired with his favorite tech geniuses, Irie and Spanner, found this tidbit out by chance when researching flames. No one in his circle was impressed...

Luckily for the Ninth and his mother's husband, both were dead. His Elements raged for weeks. Not to mention, the response Reborn had. Apparently, the curse-free hitman convinced Mammon use their illusions to cover a small (but on the bad side of Vindice) famiglia into lookalikes of the two. The destruction was added to Fuuta's top five of Most Deadly Massacres.

Tsuna was just grateful to be free of the seal.

So, yeah, Tsuna could feel that the event was coming. Vongola Intuition and all that.

Therefore, when his mother cheerfully told him of this event ("Tsu-kun, papa is coming home!") while holding a bowl with homemade cake batter, "Tsu-kun" made himself scarce.

Which somehow worked.

Tsuna's promise of being prepared started out simple. He would train himself physically, mentally, emotionally, and flame-ly. Plan PMEF (he did not care how stupid it sounded, if anyone has any smart comments, he has always wondered what it would be like to turn people into fertilizer).

Physically, he just needed to be in prime fighting state.

Mentally, knowledge... aka studying.

Emotionally, nothing could truly help, but people recommend meditation at the very least.

Flame-ly, well...

"Yahoooo!" Tsuna yelled excitedly as he blazed across the tree branches.

Yeah, point made.

So this preparedness was going to happen. He would not allow any other way.

A small baby in red changed this plan.

Correction, it actually started with a white-haired basically-alien.

"This is how you can fix the curse." Tsuna, all brave steel nerves and a ridiculously amount of stupidity, decided to share knowledge of his precious life. But that famous Vongola Intuition didn't argue.

"I see." A glint of glasses and the basically-alien was gone.

A week later showed a random box with a letter on the doorstep of his house. In it, Kawahira was kind enough to explain how he did that switch and how the current Arcobaleno would have to grow up again but still get their adult forms back.

Tsuna cackled manically when he read that part. While some optimistic people would think Tsuna told basically-alien that information out of the kindness of his heart, he didn't. Don't misunderstand, Tsuna considered that curse a horrible way of going about that situation and truly unneeded in every way. However, there was a stronger motivation than that kindness.

Reborn used his infant form to cause Tsuna way too many problems for Tsuna not to fix it in the art of being prepared.

Unfortunately, this caused the unintentional impact of this.

"Hello." A serene smile was sent his way. Tsuna stared (admittedly) rudely at Fon. "I heard a rumor."

"Errr..."

Fon covered his face with his sleeve, hiding what Tsuna would swear was a mischievous smile. Tsuna realized a second later he needed to act as if he didn't know of the Arcobaleno, therefore he would need to think Fon was a freaking toddler. And by the glint in the Storm's eye (sorry bad time for a pun), Fon recognized this as well.

Tsuna then knew he had done fucked up.

"Are you lost, little one?"

... that did not mean he wouldn't try to fix it.

"No, thank you however. I was intentionally looking for the one who broke the curse."

A feeble attempt... but still, "Curse? Babies shouldn't have to worry about those."

"Neither should six year-old boys."

Check-and-mate.

As some people would say, the rest was history.

Fon later told him that only he knew who broke it and that it took him actively searching for the basically-alien then actively searching for him (Tsuna).

In other news, Takeshi's mom didn't die. And, Tsuna swore that Takeshi would not get involved this time (And if Tsuna went to those baseball games, well the sport always interested him). Nor Ryohei for that matter (Boxing would be fun to watch as well).

Hayato has already been saved by Tsuna using that favor from Kawahira. Hayato, while originally mafia-raised, now inspired to be a famous pianist with a side hobby of scientist. (And no, Tsuna wasn't crying, that is just allergies acting.)

Lambo would later be saved.

That favor of Kawahira was also used to save his previous and somehow present mist and his friends. Mukuro then decided to creepy laugh his way into saving Chrome.

No, Tsuna liked to pretend that Mukuro didn't see a past live with him and definitely that those looks of knowing didn't exist.

Plan PMEF. Plan PMEF.

Hibari Kyoya has always been a force to be reckoned with, and therefore Tsuna has actively avoided that volcano.

The reborned man gave a sad smile as he realized his thoughts had wondered to his past again.

Why was he talking about them again?

Ah, yes, Fon became his Storm. Tsuna doesn't even know how that happened.

Plan PMEF.

Tsuna would like to claim plain unawareness when he had accidentally bonded with Colonello as his Rain.

All Tsuna could remember was seeing the blond five-year-old looking boy rush in front of bullets.

Actually, the Sky would (and is going to) blame it all on his serene Storm. Because it was his brilliant idea to go to Mafia Island.

Yeah, definitely placing all the blame on Fon.

A serene smile was sent his way.

Tsuna quickly backtracked that thought (and when did Fon get the ability to read minds?!).

It was no one's blame. No one's.

So, now, nine-year-old Tsunayoshi had gained his Storm, Rains, Sun, and Mists. Oh, did Tsuna forget to mention how he bonded with Ken, Chikusa, and Chrome?

That is okay, because it is all going according to plan PMEF. Everything is going to plan.

Tsuna will deny crying when he accidentally bonded Verde.

He feels completely justified for any escaping tears.

He doesn't even want to recall what is now referred to as "The Green Monster Of Waffles" event.

Don't even consider the thought.

Really, since when did Tsuna's life get more chaotic than his life as a Mafia Boss? Better yet, how was that even possible?

"Fight me, kora!"

"Kufufufufu..."

"Tsuna-san, are you okay?"

"He will be fine."

"If I accelerate the current, then the process of which the cells will decay-"

No rest for the wicked, indeed.

"I am Reborn, contacted to train you to be the tenth boss of Vongola."

Tsuna stared at him with soulfully exhausted eyes, "But I prepared..."

Reborn raised an eyebrow.

"Do you now?"

"Plan PMEF."

Author's note:

this was completely horribly written but you know I was too tired to care