Zeppo No More Am I

by stargatesg1fan1

Edited by Sentinel1977

Search for "Zeppo no more am i by stargatesg1fan1". The site starting with hpfanficarchive is likely the one you are looking for.

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Stargate, Star Wars, Buffy, Percy Jackson, or Harry Potter.

October 27th 1997 Sunnydale California

As Alexander Lavelle Harris looked through his options at Ethan Rayne's costume shop he despaired that he wouldn't get anything decent with his extremely limited funds. Tony had found one of his Stashes of Money and used it for Alcohol. Usually he would send him. But this time he did it him self. His first spur of the moment choice was to go as a soldier but when a small boy beat him to the plastic guns he didn't have the heart to steal the last one from the kid. Walking around the Shop, Xander din't really get into the Halloween Mood. But Snyder had Roped him and the Girls into Chaperoning Rugrats around. As Xander came upon a bin full of grab items from multiple fandoms a grin spread across his face. His inner Geek was jumping in joy inside of his Head. His common Sense hid in a Corner shaking his Head. He selected a plastic toy light saber, a fake wand and a matching lightning bolt scar tattoo to go with it, a plastic pen that had a small blade extend from the tip when you worked a slider arm, and lastly he selected a black bracelet with a dog head on it.

Halloween…

The second the spell cast by chaos mage Ethan Rayne washed over Sunnydale a battle began to rage inside one Xander Harris. Something even Ethan Rayne didn't expect was happening. Xander Harris had selected a light saber modeled after the one Anakin Skywalker used. Anakin was later known as Darth Vader. The dark side Jedi arrived to find four other beings possessing what he thought was his body.

The one he immediately began grappling with was one Harry James Potter. Due to the chaotic nature of the spell and the mixing of magic that wasn't meant to be mixed a Harry Potter from a different reality than the one Xander's reality thought of as fiction was summoned. This Harry Potter was a powerful warrior who had been alive for over a century.

Due to his having made some better choices than the canon (to Xander's reality) Harry Potter he married his soul mate Hermione and together they had made much progress in the field of magic. They had discovered in their old headmaster's office during their twenties the thought destroyed philosopher's stone. Together the two brightest students Hogwarts had seen in over many centuries unraveled the secrets of the stone.

Indeed they even improved upon the formula so that a version could be made out of ingredients known to the muggle world. This version could not transmute metals to gold but it could produce an elixir of life that would make the drinker immortal after only one dose.

As Harry and Vader began grappling for control two other beings began a battle. The first was the half ascended being known as Anubis. Even Ethan Rayne had not been stupid enough to summon gods into his spell. As such the bracelet Xander had worn to taunt dead boy (Anubis was the original god of the dead) had not been included in the spell by the chaos mage.

It had though managed to collect some of the spell energies during its time in the bargain bin. With not enough power to summon the intended god of the dead from another reality it settled for the real Anubis in Xander's reality. In this reality Anubis is a half ascended Goauld preparing his revenge on the galaxy.

The opponent Anubis was fighting was the biggest surprise of them all. Percy Jackson in canon turned down the Gods offer to become one of them because of his love Annabeth. Of course in this reality the later books hadn't come out yet so Ethan didn't know about the possibility of Percy even becoming a god. Due to summoning a god chaos took over even more. This Percy had come from a reality where Annabeth rubbed off on him.

When offered by the Olympians to become one of them he remembered Dionysus telling him that he too fell in love with a mortal woman. When she died he took her as his immortal bride. Percy remembering this accepted the offer. It turned out he didn't even have to wait for Annabeth to die. To make a mortal immortal it took the powers of two gods minimum. It wasn't hard to convince Annabeth's mother Athena to help Percy make her daughter immortal.

Xander Harris stood in the Back of his own Mind along with the Hyena. Said Hyena cowering around his Legs. Even the Hyena knew that it was no Match for the assembled Power. Watching the battle rage, Xander saw that Percy was actually much stronger than Anubis and would likely win soon. On the other Hand was it almost a deadlock between Harry and Vader. Both trading blows but not gaining any Ground. Xander decided to do something about it. Knowing that this was his mind Xander willed images of the battle between Vader and Luke to be shown.

Vader continually getting more and more distracted by the Images that where being Played in a Loop, was beginning to loose Ground. Harry Potter saw that and Started to tone his own Battlepower down before going completely defensive. Vader recognised what his opponent was doing and discarded the Mage to concentrate on the Images. As Vader watched the Battle with his Son he slowly started to brake free of the dark side. The Realization that he had two children was the last push he needed. He came from a time before his final battle with his son. With this in mind he used his will to call forth the light side of the force. Harry had sensed the change in his opponent and helped a bit along with his own Magic.

Xander sensing his Chance he spoke to Vader: "Do you see now?".

"Yes I do Xander Harris. Thank you for showing me back to the right path," a newly reborn Anakin Skywalker answered him.

All three then turned to watch the battle between the two titans. Up to this Point Percy had just kept Anubis busy so the other Fight could come to an Ending that he had seen. After the End of the Fight between Harry and Anakin he went on the offensive. It didn't take long for the Greek sea god to put the half ascended being in a glowing cage of energy.

"I haven't had that much of a good workout since the second Titan war," Percy announced happily.

"So does anybody know what is going on," Xander finally asked.

All three beings concentrated on something Xander couldn't see. Percy concentrated on his powers to sense the mystical energy surrounding them. Harry used Xander's eyes with a magic seeing spell to look at the spell effects around them. Skywalker consulted the force.

"Someone has cast a chaos spell invoking that rogue Janus on your town to turn a lot of people into their Halloween costumes," Percy answered.

"What he said," Harry confirmed.

"What do we do now," Xander asked.

"Well first we should get your friends to safety and then go deal with this mage," Anakin answered while letting some of his Vader traits out when mentioning the mage.

With the help of the other powerful beings Xander was able to retake control of his body. He looked around and saw Willow running/floating towards him. The see through State of her body in combination with his new "Tenants" allowed him to see what she was.

"Xander oh my god everything is crazy nobody is who they where a moment ago and all of my Kids I had to Chaperone where gone when I sat up again after collapsing, and ..." a terrified Willow yelled as she ran up to him. Xander used to Willowbabbel interrupted.

"Breathe Wills, not helping by Freaking out. Let's go find Buffy and get her to her house. Something tells me she is not really Helpful at the Moment"

Willow calmed down and followed Xander. On there Way they encountered several mini demons that were actually children. To Willow's surprise each fell unconscious when Xander pointed what she recognized as a wand at them and a red light flew out. When they came across some real vampires Xander burned them to ash with a fire spell. Filing such Information away for later she just followed behind Xander.

They finally found the terrified Buffy being possessed by an 18th century noblewoman. Looking around frantically Xander could see that she was not herself. As a Car came towards her she Fainted in a typical Ancient Way with a Scream and her Backhand on her Forehead. Xander could not help but smirk. Reaching her he lifted her up bridal Style and carried her back to her house. Willow ran ahead and stuck her Head trough the Door calling out for Mrs. Summers. Hearing nothing she called out to Xander that it was Empty. Retrieving the Key and unlocking the Door when you carry a fainted girl in your Arms in not Easy. But when you have several "Helpers" in your Head it becomes easier.

Depositing Buffy on the Couch Xander turned around and looked at Willow. He wanted to go the Costumeshop. They had not told him per se that it was there the Spell was concentrated. But for Xander it was a nobrainer. But opening his Mouth they heard a Scream from the outside. Xander hating his "White-Knight-Syndrome" ran outside and found Cordelia Chase running from a dog like creature. Moving with the speed of a Jedi Xander was at her side and dispatched the creature to the land of unconsciousness with an overpowered stunner.

"How did you do that dweeb," Cordelia asked in shock. Xander looked at the leotard clad young woman and saw things he wasn't capable of before. She was of course very beautiful but her personality was so abrasive it drove many away. Her rich bitch exterior was a shield against being hurt.

Unknowingly Channelling some of the Powers he had inside he spoke to the Girl: "Cordelia you are both beautiful inside and out. Why don't you let some of what's on the inside come out," Cordelia couldn't believe what Xander Harris just said to her. The Powers he used made her actually listen to him. She found herself actually blushing as he led her into Buffy's house. She was then told about what was going on during this weird Halloween night.

Xander knowing this could get Problematic he had to be either careful or blut. "Stay here. I'm going to deal with this," Blunt it was.

"You can't go out there alone Xander," Cordelia said with more concern than she would have liked to show. Regardless of what he did to the dog creature she didn't think he could make it all the way through this town. That and what she just felt made her already growing Feelings towards the Dork a bit more caring. Willow being the Smarty that she was knew that there was more about her Xander-Shaped Friend. "Relax Cordelia I think he'll be just fine,"

With a cheeky grin Xander used Harry's power to apparate away, but not before tapping into the power of Harry and Percy to create some seriously strong wards. Nothing was getting in or out of that house until he said so. He reappeared just outside the costume shop. Sensing that the Spell indeed was from in there he got very Angry. As he walked towards the door it blew to atoms. He made all other exits seal. Entering the back room he found a startled chaos mage. Before Ethan could teleport away he was caught in a force grip where his wind pipe began to constrict.

"This was a very bad idea mage," Percy's voice reverberated throughout the room.

Rayne pissed himself at the power he felt coming from the whelp of Rippers group. Xander and the others thought for a bit and decided to let Rayne go. A chaos mage might have uses in the future. Besides that Percy was on pretty friendly terms with Janus at the moment, even if it wasn't this universes Janus. He released him from the forcegrip and watched as he teleported away. With a swipe of his hand the bust of Janus was broken and the spell ended.

Harry, Vader, and Anubis faded instantly. Percy remained behind having more Power than the others. "So what happens now?" Xander asked Percy.

"Well you are a unique soul Xander. In this reality there isn't really any ancient laws restricting the old gods from acting directly, hence why Janus was able to be summoned. Most just choose not to act because they are bored with the affairs of humanity. The most proactive ones are the powers that be but they choose to act through their various champions and agents to maintain balance. I don't like the sounds of them very much. My old friend Janus from my reality just got into contact with the one from this reality. From what they have told me you have been a very good agent of chaos for Janus. Saving your friend Buffy from that prophecy really ruffled the powers that be," Percy explained.

"Janus has decided to reward you with my help. It takes two gods minimum to elevate a mortal. That is the only way your soul would survive coming into contact with my essence. Now the old more powerful gods draw quite a bit of power from belief. Eventually it so happens that if they are completely forgotten they can fade. I never tap into those powers. I don't need them. Without them you can exist forever. So, here we go," Percy announced as he began elevating Xander.

Xander felt power fill him like he never imagined existed. He felt the universe expand around him. Then he felt other gifts Percy was leaving him. There were the midichlorians left by Skywalker. He could also feel Harry's magical core. Last he received all the memories of his four possessors. He felt his new god like brain evolve to handle the knowledge of an Alteran repository. He wasn't allowed to keep the knowledge the current ascended had or they would make a move on him but he got the equivalent of the repository on Atlantis.

Percy waited until Xander had taken all his new knowledge in before Speaking. "One last thing before I leave Xander. I blanked Anubis' memories of this experience so he won't remember you at all. Also here is just a bit of advice. You are immortal. Don't limit yourself to just one woman for all eternity. Why do you think most of the old gods have half blood children? My Annabeth is smart enough to realize this and we have several friends who we sleep with regularly together," Percy ended think of Rachel, Elizabeth, Dare, Thalia, and Calypso.

"I'll take that into consideration," Xander replied. "Goodbye and good luck. You will need it in the trials you face ahead," Percy informed him before vanishing back to his reality.

With Percy gone Xander walked to the front room and took the cash box. A quick scan showed him several thousand dollars. He accessed his new knowledge from Harry and expanded his pocket with a pocket dimension where he deposited the cash box. Stretching out his powers he found Willow and apparated to her and followed her back to Buffy's house while invisible. He keyed her and everybody else to be allowed through the wards. Just out of spite he didn't give the newly arrived Angel access.

"What a night." Xander stated with a sigh as he walked back in.

"So it's all done then?" Willow asked.

In a Tone that broke no room, for arguments Xander told them: "Yes and now I'm walking you and Cordelia home." Buffy wanted to protest but she was quite happy to just fall into bed and pass out.

Walking Willow home first since she lived closest made sense for everybody. Willow gave Xander a bone crushing hug in thanks. Both he and Willow noticed the other Person as more than just the Friend. Xander, powered by his new Memory saw that she was definitely developing some female charms. For her part Willow noticed Xander was absolutely nothing but muscle. He wasn't bulky but toned. This hug would be fuelling her masturbation fantasies for many nights to cum…I mean come.
As Cordelia and Xander were walking he felt her trying to say something but not getting the courage up. Pushing a bit Xander asked "What is it Cordelia?" Fighting a blush successfully Cordelia answered "Xander what you did for me tonight and what you said. Nobody has ever looked at me like that. You saved my life Xander. I think you deserve something in return,"

With a small smile she took his hand and began to pull him into a secluded spot surrounded by bushes. She pushed him onto a park bench and dropped to her knees.

Smut Scene nonexisting (I can't write something like that. Can you?)

"Don't expect that again." Cordy told Xander as they were finishing walking to the Chase mansion.

"Don't worry I won't Cordy. But while I have the chance." Xander trailed off as he reached over and groped her ass making sure to get a good feel.

"Hey!" she squealed.

"Sorry I've wanted to do that for years. You have no idea how many fantasies of mine your ass has featured in." Xander told her.

The thought surprisingly didn't disturb her. If anything it turned her on even more. Cordelia was very wrong about it not happening again. She didn't realize that the seed of a god is addicting to mortals. Percy did not include those memories in his gifts for his lover's sake.

"Well turnabout is fair play," Cordy answered as she groped Xander's surprisingly muscular ass.

"And this as well," Cordy said as she captured his lips in a hot tongue filled kiss before running inside her parents mansion.

Xander walked home with a shit eating grin. He barely even noticed the Vamp attacking as he blasted it with just enough power to turn it to dust.

Life was good.

The Day after...

The next day at school was interesting to say the least. Despite Cordelia's assertions last night that it was a one time thing Xander found himself dragged inside a closet and sucked off by a very turned on brunette. He was in no way complaining. He actually returned the favor this time by licking Cordy to three hard orgasms. Finding out he loved her taste.

Noticing he was getting some appreciative glances from the female population of Sunnydale high as well. During computer class he found himself even catching Ms. Calendar eyeing him. He returned the attention with a little trick Harry learned. Harry figured out how to apply the same charms Moody's eye held directly to the eyeball. He was enjoying looking through Jenny Calendars clothes to the wonderful looking body beneath.

Multitasking at the same time with the Alteran knowledge in his brain was child's play to hack into the Swiss bank accounts of several known criminals. Transferring a total of forty million dollars US to several new identities he had made. Sure about the Fact that it looked like their biggest enemy stole their money. "There was no way they are tracing that back to me." he thought. Buying the old CRD complex for very cheap he started investing a Part of the Money.

After School he stood on the upper level of the Library invisible looking at his Friends. Buffy and Willow talked about the Night before. Giles looking a mix between astounded and pissed of. With the Girls busy talking he made his way out of the Library. He had a meeting with the Realtor from the CRD-Complex. Getting the Key and a Tour of the Complex took almost an hour. Xander knew he would rebuild most of the Complex. This was going to be his new home. He definitely had enough of his Parents. Well actually his Father was the Main problem. His Mother was just a tag along to his Fathers drunken mishaps. But that was something he had to look into another day.

The Realtor had gone home. Xander sat in the CEO's Office on the Computer and started to make a Plan. Casting a few powerful cleaning Charms and a few good Repairo Spells made the Place look almost as good a new. Xander only used it on the Insides mostly. The Fence was getting some Magic upgrades to. Nothing was going to come into his home. Ordering a Hummer and a Mustang over the Phone from the Local Dealership was easy. Apparating to the Dealership and retrieving the Cars was something he had to be very careful about. Not wanting to let the Cat out of the Bag to early.

The Hummer was for transporting passengers and supplies while the Mustang was for his pleasure. Ordering five different types of motorcycles off the net for other uses. They would arrive in the next couple of days. With the use of Transfiguration and permanent Conjuration Magic, the main building was set up as an apartment. Using expansion charms to make the inside bigger it was turned into a four bedroom (for now) apartment.

A game room, a bathroom in each room, a common living room, a big kitchen, a laundry room, and what he termed the safe room. The entire place was warded to the nines but he paid extra attention to the safe room. Pouring so much power into the protections on that room that he wouldn't be surprised if that room would survive the sun going supernova or the earth exploding.

Going down to the Mustang he made some "small" modifications with his Powers. The inside of the door panels was etched with runes to amplify his apparition power. Instead of just taking him it would take his whole car. He also charged a onetime use portkey into the frame that took the driver where they desired. He would need to charge it after each use. With the Alteran knowledge he was able to work the electronics of the car around the mystical energy. The Hummer got similar treatment.

Sleep came easy that night. All that Work had taken some time after all. As a God he didn't need Sleep. But he was still human in his Heart, and a Human needs Sleep. He had thought about going hunting. But he didn't want to. Not tonight. Sleep ending to soon. But just laying there and contemplating everything.

"I know now that what the lower plane beings call magic is nothing more than the natural energy of the vacuum that makes up most of our universe. Certain evolved beings can access and channel it to their will. Demons are aliens from another reality where everything is literally hell. There of course were things modern science couldn't explain, like the creator. The gods new about him and he is why holy artefacts work against demons. Belief has the power to imbue those artefacts with the power to harm demons."

Time moves on...

Channelling strengthening Charms and many wards into the Vehicles so that they were probably indestructible to most forces on earth was also something on his to do list. Another Weekend rolled around. Xander decided to pick the Girls up for a trip to the Bronze. Buffy seeing him in the car got a little suspicious. So she asked him where that Car came from. Xander having already prepared something, showed them a documentation from his Uncle Rory's Garage: "My Uncle Rory got a sweet deal on a repossession from somewhere. He let me have it." The Girls where happy with that. Willow filed that info away for later use. She still had her idea about what was going on with her best Friend. But he still was mostly her Xander-Shaped-Friend. So she would give him some slack.

Cordy kept up with the routine in the Morning before School. It was something that she just couldn't let go. It bothered her to some degree. But as long as she got what she wanted she was happy.

During the next week an old Friend of Buffy showed up at School one Day. Buffy was complaining something about Angel. Willow got distracted about her pursuit of Xander as Angel appeared on her Balcony asking her to check out Ford. That weirded her out more that she thought. Turned out Ford wanted to sell Buffy's life along with other Peoples life for him getting the Ticket to becoming a Vampire. Xander disposed of him as he didn't want to let Buffy do that. His Girls shouldn't have to go through something like that.

On a Friday Xander and Cordelia where at it again. After the deed Cordelia said to him: "Xander, Saturday you are going to take me some place nice and Fuck me."

"Are you sure Cordy," He asked already knowing the answer.

"Yes," was her resolute answer.

CRD...

Saturday rolled around and Xander took her to his Apartment at the CRD-Facility. "Xander what is this place," Cordy asked in amazement. "It's my new place," He told her. Cordelia looking around in astonishment asked: "How can you afford something like this?" Xander, with a secret smile told her: "I've got tricks,"

Cordy instantly knowing there was more there played along and said to him in a sultry voice:"I know you have tricks with your tongue. Why don't you show me some new tricks,"

Smut Scene nonexisting (I can't write something like that. Can you?)

"Xander what are we," a sweaty and naked Cordelia Chase asked him as her head rested on his shoulder. "Hmmm…that's a good question honey. I would normally say boyfriend and girlfriend but there is something you need to know." He then told her about what really happened to him on Halloween. She listened with rapt attention and no interruption.

"So you see just the two of us could get old for eternity," he finished. "So what you are suggesting is you give me the one time dose of elixir and we make this a multi-woman relationship," Cordy clarified. "Yes," he tentatively answered.

Cordelia Chase thought about what her lover was saying. She could easily understand what Percy was talking about. That could definitely get old after a few thousand years. If she was really honest with herself the idea of another girl kind of excited her. She had thought long and hard before about why people were attracted to her so much. That empathy had her looking at other girls and she eventually found herself curious about what it would be like to be with one. Besides what it came down to was the fact that it would make her Xander happy. When thought of like that it was a no brainer.

"Ok but on two conditions," Cordy told him as she sat up and stared into his eyes. Xander just tilted his head slightly showing her that he was listening. "The first is no more secrets and the second is you never deny me use of this fun toy," she told him as she cast a quick glance downwards. "Deal," He answered his new girlfriend with a smile which was quickly taken away with her hot kiss.

Deliveries during the Week had Xander quite exited. He had enough Supplies to make one of his Projects. So the next day he asembled a satellite capable of detecting any naquadah on earth. Getting it into orbit was an easy job. He simply turned it into a portkey and sent it off. The Powersystem on the Device was a small handheld size sphere that contained a fusion reactor. It actually ran off of water. It was a hydrogen hydrogen reaction.

Setting the Device to transport water from the ocean with a switching spell (switching it with the oxygen it built up as it broke the water molecular bonds) whenever it needed fuel. Adding a load of other Sensors in the Casing was also done. But for now he was only interested in the naquadah detector.

Turning it on and letting the Satellite doing it's work made him concentrate on something different. Cordy was very interested in learing about the technology he was using. So he scanned her mind and determined that she could handle the basic science at an Alteran level. It was a simple matter to use his telepathy/legilimency to transfer that much knowledge into her mind. The basic level let her understand the principles behind the devices but not necessarily know what every device was.

That done he got back to the Satellite and got the first readout. The Satellite had immediately found the first Stargate in Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado Springs. The second Stargate had been found a short while later. It was one with a DHD. It was buried in the ice under Antarctica. The Readout continued with different points of interest. One of them being in Egypt inside a Pyramid.

Taking Cordelia along they apparated there. Once on top of the Pyramid he was able to pear through the Sand and Stone. A few quick switching spells allowed him to move the Sand out of the way by replacing it with air. Inside the Ship they found several canopic Jars with goa'uld Symbiotes in them. Xander could tell that one of them was about to fail from a damaged power source. Quickly portkeying them back to his Saferoom he knew they where going to be safe. He had a feature that any arriving object would be transferred into a stasis field. It was a time dilation Field that held the Object in time moving so slow relative to the rest of the universe that it might as well have been stopped.

Looking around the ship Xander found the Cloak very fast. Initiating that thay took the ship back to Sunnydale. Xander was a bit surprised that Ships of that age already had a Cloak. Inside the CRD-Facility he entered the Saferoom. Analysing the Canopy-Jars he found from his Anubis memories that they held Isis and Osiris, two very enterprising Inventors. Not sure what to do with them yet, he put them back in the Stasis Field. The Energy-source had to be replaced.

While pondering that, Cordelia had used the time to familiarize herself with the technology. She was not only Beautiful but also Intelligent. Working with that she scanned the location of the second Stargate more thoroughly and presented Xander with a detailed Map of the Site. Together they dug the second Stargate out easily enough. Him with some excavation charms and She with the Ship transporting it and the dialing device back to the CRD complex.

Cordy went home after that. Xander hat transported her Car to the Parkinglot, He didn't need that much sleep so he went and took the DHD apart. Finding the worn out Vacuum Module that powered the Device. It had worn out due to fifty million Years of wear and tear. Having sent out some Spydevices beforehand, that nobody could track, he began copying the database of the SGC without their knowledge.

Their mission reports were definitely an interesting read. It looked like they had managed to piss off the wrong Goa'uld. He would have to keep an eye on the situation.

School and Halftruths...

The next Schoolweek Giles and Buffy had made plans to meet at night to guard the blood delivery at the local hospital. Xander decided to show up just to be safe. When he got there he found Buffy fighting three vamps with no backup. Deciding it was a good time to step in. He incanted "Incendio," Three vamps burst into ash as they were hit with my fire spell.

"Xander," Buffy asked in shock.

"Yep." Xander answered.

"How did you do that?"

Xander had just decided what he would tell them. He asked her: "You remember how one of my characters from Halloween night was Harry Potter?" When she nodded he continued. "Well he told me he could tell I was a potential magic user. He managed to leave behind a lot of his spell knowledge and magical theory," It wasn't technically lying but it wasn't telling her the whole truth either.

"Cool. So you can provide magical support," she stated. "Yep. I'll make sure this blood gets in the hospital. You go check on Giles," He told her and they split ways. Buffy walked of into the night. Xander checked that the Blood was delivered correctly and went home to his own homestead.

Xander ended up getting drafted into working with Cordy, Willow, and Ms. Calendar in the computer lab the next day, which was a Saturday. He certainly didn't mind being stuck with three beautiful women for the day. When Buffy came in and told everybody how dishevelled Giles was when she checked on him last night. Cordy decided it was the right time to tell us that she had observed Giles talking to a homicide detective yesterday.

Xander loves his girlfriend but sometimes she could be so forgetful of the important things.

"Here it is right here. According to the investigating officers report the diseased was an old friend of Giles," He spoke up.

"And how did you get access to that report?" Willow asked surprised.

"I hacked their system," He answered.

"When did you learn how to hack Xander," Ms. Calendar asked with an impressed tone.

"I've picked up quite a few tricks here or there," He told her.

"Some of them are very fun tricks," his girlfriend muttered loud enough for everyone to here.

Buffy went to the library to see if Giles was there. The rest of them came running a few minutes later when they heard her fighting. They entered to find what looked like a zombie charging her and Ethan Rayne. Buffy knocked it back and Xander blasted it into the book cage with a burst of telekinesis.

"That was some quite powerful magic," Jenny stated with an impressed tone again.

"I do what I can," Xander answered with a grin.

Jenny Calendar was finding herself quite impressed with Xander. He was continuously surprising her lately. If she was a few years younger she would be tempted to go after him. Actually the only thing really stopping her now was Rupert. She didn't really care about those pesky age laws. A few minutes later Giles came in and showed his dark side when he saw Ethan.

Everybody learned that the situation involved the mark of Eyghon, which was the demon in the book cage. Just then the demon busted open the door to the book cage, knocking Ms Calender unconscious. Xander was on the other side of the room but Buffy dealt with the demon corpse. It turned into a puddle of goo because the body it was possessing couldn't handle it.

Giles and Jenny soon left to take her home. From there a research party began to find out more about the mark of Eyghon. The Scoobies finally found the information they required. It led them to believe that Jenny was now possessed by Eyghon. While Buffy took off to confront it Xander left the room with Cordy covering for him and apparated to Giles apartment. He broke in to find Eyghon throwing Giles around.

"You picked the wrong person to possess demon," He stated.

"You cannot stop me human," it sneered back.

Xander grabbed the thing and began chanting in Latin. The chanting was more for affect as he used his power to knock the possessor out of Jenny. Caught in his grip of power Xander peered through time and space to decide what was best to do with it. He ended up tossing it through a personal wormhole he opened up. The other end happened to be at the event horizon of a black hole. That permanently took care of the demon.

Jenny Calendar...

Jenny was okay physically. It appeared her and Giles relationship took a major hit because of that event. Xander went to visit his favourite computer teacher after hearing of that.

"Xander what are you doing here," she looked up from her computer as he entered.

"I came to see if you were ok Ms. C?" He said.

"Jenny please Xander. After you saved my life you deserve the right to call me Jenny when we are alone. I'm shaken by this whole possession thing. What that thing did with my body and I couldn't stop it. I don't know how to express that feeling," she trailed off.

"It's okay Jenny. I understand," He told her. She gave him a look that asked how he could understand.

"I still have Harry's memories from Halloween. He was possessed by Voldemort early on in his life. It was not a pleasant experience," he hesitantly told her.

"You do understand," she said gracing him with a smile of gratitude for telling her. He was now sitting in a chair beside her.

"Does it get any easier to deal with those memories," she asked.

"With time it eventually does. Time heals all wounds Jenny. If you ever need someone to talk to Jenny I'm always here for you," He told her.

"Thank you Xander. Cordelia is a lucky girl," she told him.

They chatted for a while about this and that. He even showed her a few tricks on hacking that she wouldn't learn anywhere else on this planet. The possession event ended up brining them closer together. He was glad to have a new friend and it certainly didn't hurt that she was absolutely gorgeous.

Technology...

The next week he was very busy. Him and Cordy began to modify the ship they found in the pyramid. This required supplies that couldn't be obtained on earth. Keeping an eye on the scheduled SGC missions they were able to make trips off world when SG1 were not scheduled for any. Of course there was always the chance that they would have an unscheduled activation but the chances were minimal of it occurring while Xander and Cordelia were travelling.

With an actual DHD as the SGC called the dialing device they could block them from using their gate at all but the point was not to let them know they had one. Before using the gate Xander had lined the walls of his complex with a special compound that blocked most known means of scanning the inside of his building. Not even the Asgard would be able to tell there was a gate in use in Sunnydale. That took quite a bit of time.

Then he and Cordy started travelling to several known mineral rich worlds from the Alteran archives. They were careful to avoid worlds Xander knew Anubis was building his forces on. Xander felt he was nowhere ready yet to take his resources on.

Using mining spells Xander was able to extract a sizable quantity of raw naquadah, trinium, and other valuable materials. Using the converted facilities at CRD he was finally able to refine the materials after three days of hard work.

Career Week...

Xander was interrupted at that point by a little problem Buffy had. She was on patrol and found a vamp robbing a mausoleum. One of the vamps cohorts distracted Buffy long enough for him to get away. That week at school was career week. When Xander took the placement tests he really did his best. Apparently his best was more than anybody expected.

He was approached by a Colonel Makepeace to join the air force right out of high school. Xander was surprised because he recognized the colonel from the SGC files. A later look at his test score revealed he scored the highest in recorded history on all the things the SGC looked for. Xander told the Colonel he would consider his offer very seriously.

Buffy was really depressed about her future. Slayers historically speaking don't live very long. Even if she did she couldn't exactly get a normal job.
"Buffy if worse comes to worse you wouldn't need a normal job. All those stuffy suits at the watchers council are loaded. You can always tell them if they want you to keep slaying for them then they will have to pay you," he told her.

"Yeah you're right Xander. That's exactly what I'll do," she told him with a smile of realization. But the trouble didn't stop there. When they researched what was taken from the mausoleum they found that it was a decoder for a book of rituals that was stolen from Giles a while back. Then the order of Taraka showed up looking to assassinate Buffy.

"We will have to find someplace safe to hide you Buffy until we figure out what to do," Giles informed his slayer.

"I've got a good place Giles," Xander spoke up.

"Where would that be Xander," he asked.

"It's best if you don't know," he answered.

"Perhaps you are right," Giles agreed.

Buffy rode home with Cordelia and I after that in the hummer.

"Xander how can you afford a place like this," Buffy asked in awe as Xander showed her around his apartment.

He was careful to keep her away from his workshop where the ship was.

"Well you remember how I'm pretty good at hacking now," Xander asked her.
"Yeah," she replied.

"Well I may have relocated some funds from several major criminals," he told her without saying how much.

She didn't ask questions after that. Xander showed her to one of the guest rooms. Later that night they had a visitor. She tried sneaking into the building but was dealt with by the security system. The intruder was teleported into a heavily warded holding cell. The security system was a combination of Alteran technology and wards.

"Who is she," Buffy asked when she, Cordy, and Xander arrived at the cell.

"Judging from the feel I get off of her I'd say she is a slayer. When I revived you after your first fight with the master you were legally dead for a short time. From what I've read of the slayer spirit even if it leaves your body you would still have its powers. It alters your physiology permanently," he answered her.

We found out the girls name was Kendra. She had snuck in to slay Buffy because of her misguided belief that Buffy is a vampire. She had apparently watched Buffy kissing Angel. Everything was cleared up the next day when everyone took Kendra to Giles. Kendra and Buffy didn't exactly hit it off to well at first. Xander mused that it was an Alpha thing.

When the Scoobies finally did figure out more about what was in the stolen book they realized Spike was trying to restore Drusilla to full health. To accomplish his task Spike would need Angel as Drusilla's sire. It was at that point that Kendra revealed she locked Angel in a cage at Willies. When Buffy, Cordelia and Xander got to Willies Angel was gone. Willie had sold Angel to Spike but didn't know where they were at.
They eventually figured out when the ritual needed to take place and a probable location. The problem was that the Location was a church but there were over forty churches in Sunnydale. Driving around in the hummer looking didn't get that much results. Xander felt the power of the ritual begin. He quickly drove to the correct church with intent on crashing the party.

The group attacked the Tarakan assassins and other vamps. Xander hurled a fireball at Spike but the bleach blonde vamp jumped out of the way. The fireball blew a hole in the side of the church. Never let it be said that Spike was completely stupid. He grabbed Drusilla and hightailed it out of there. He relied on the assassins to cover his escape. Xander did manage to clip Spikes leg with a nasty dark curse. It would break his legs again and again for the next several weeks. We dispatched the assassins. After Xander's investments he had enough Money and was able to pay to have the hit cancelled on Buffy.

Ted...

Xanders work on the Alterion, which is what he had decided to name the ship, was interrupted again a few days later by a Summers woman. This time it wasn't the one he had expected. Upon checking the security alert message for the security system he set up at Buffy's house he found that Joyce had managed to pick up a serial killer robot for a boyfriend.

"Only in Sunnydale could that happen," Cordy stated as the two of them looked over the information.

"You're telling me," Xander agreed with her.

"Poor Joyce. She just doesn't seem to have good luck with men," Cordy lamented.

"I was actually thinking about hooking her up with Giles," He stated.

"Good idea. That will distract him from us going after Jenny," Xander girlfriend replied as her face lit up with a smile.

"This is why you are so awesome," He told her.

"And don't you forget it," she replied.

A few minutes later found Xander knocking on the front door of the Summer's home.

"Xander what can I do for you. Buffy isn't home," she added.

Asking nicely: "Actually I came to see you Mrs. S. Could I come in for a minute?"

"Sure come on in," she invited. That was the number one rule in Sunnydale, never invite anyone in. It's just a good thing that it was still daylight out.

"Ted this is Xander. Xander this is Ted. He's a friend," Joyce introduced.

"Nice to meet you Xander," he said as he shook the other mans hand.

"I would say the same Ted but I don't generally like people who intend to murder my friend's mom," He told him in a cold tone.

"Xander what are you talking about," Joyce asked in alarm.

"This," He told her as he surged forward faster than any human should be able and channelled the strength of a god. Ted's head flew from his body in a shower of sparks. Joyce feinted at the sight. She awoke a few minutes later. Xander then began the explanation about Sunnydale's true nature. When she learned that Buffy really is a vampire slayer she was not pleased in the least.

"Why didn't she tell me," she asked with some residual shock.

"She tried Mrs. S. You had her committed remember," He replied. "Buffy has some severe issues that I'm not sure how to address. It's not really surprising considering what she's been through."

"What do you mean," she asked.

"Well her boyfriend is a 250 year old master vampire," Xander dead panned. She was not pleased to hear that at all.

"Buffy seems to be under the impression that the relationship will last. I mean everybody else but young girls with romantic notions can see it will end. The guy has had two and a half centuries to perfect his game," He finished. When Buffy came home and found out her mother knew everything a rather large fight ensued. In the end they made up and were stronger for it but that took a couple of days. Which Buffy used staying in Xander's Spareroom.

Bezoar...

January 12th 1998 Sunnydale California…

Xander and Cordelia were driving home in the mustang after school. They had just had a sex ed class in biology and had been assigned eggs to take care of with a partner. Naturally Cordelia chose Xander as a partner.

"So do you want kids someday," she tentatively asked.

"I'd like a couple someday," He replied.

They had talked about all kind of Things. So Cordelia knew Xander's views on the world population. There are far too many people in the world for the earth to sustain for long on a time scale of the universe. The Alterans had been around for sixty million years. They had observed countless civilizations that they had helped seed and some that they had no involvement in. If a population didn't restrict its growth they usually ended up sucking their planet dry before they were sufficiently advanced to colonize other worlds.

It was part of the reason that Alterans seeded the universe with Stargates. There weren't enough civilizations in the universe to let them kill themselves off too often. So with a Stargate they were more able to spread to other planets. Unfortunately even then wars usually broke out over resources on the home planet. Usually these wars ended up wiping out a significant portion of the planet with weapons of mass destruction being used.

Xander ended his Explanation at that time with; "I don't want to contribute to that problem. But by the time I'm ready to have kids we can move off world."

Cordy knowing how her Boyfriends Mind worked just said: "Just as long as you realize that we are not naming the planet we settle on Xandertopia,"

She was probably picking up on his thoughts as Xander had finally finished working on Equipment to manufacture Nanites a few days ago. Both him and Cordy now carried around large amounts of the little machines in there system. They would allow in Cordelia's case better speed, strength, stamina, healing, and many other things. Xander's body couldn't get much more maximized but it did allow him to connect to the wireless subspace computer network or through it just about any computer system in the world.

They both even used it to communicate without speaking. Xander caught her a couple of times sneaking into his mind and poking around. Xander didn't actually mind because he returned the favor. Id made it so they didn't had to wonder what the other was thinking. Offending the other Person couldn't happen because misinterpretation didn't occur. They both knew exactly how they other felt about each other.

Driving Home to CRD Xander was brought out of his Thoughts by an alert over the Subspace Network. Xander just looked as Cordy. She in turn, after having received the same Alert, just smiled a bit and handed her Egg over. She kenw he would do something silly and totally over the top just to show off.

Driving into the Garage Xander held both eggs in his left hand hanging outside the car.

"Computer initiate active defense protocol 117 targeting the two hostiles," He thought over the network. Almost instantly a lightning bolt shot out of the ceiling and struck the two eggs in his hand, obliterating them.

"You are such a showoff," Cordelia stated.

"You know you love me for it. Besides I had to test out the newest protocol," He answered with a grin.

"You are right I do and I suppose you did," she answered before leaning over and kissing him. They both had finally admitted that They had very deep feelings for each other. It wasn't actually admitting as much as finding out when the two of them could access each other's minds. It made it easy to verbalize after that.

"I suppose I'll be going Bezoar hunting tonight," Xander stated after the kiss.

"That sounds like fun. I'll use the sensor satellite we have positioned above to scan for the mother," His girlfriend told him. Both of them knew what the egg demons were almost right after the computer scanned them. One of the best things about an Alteran sensor system was the amazing resolution they could scan. They could scan every atom in the school library and convert the positioning of the ink molecules on the books into digitized data. It wasn't so much that the Alterans violate Heisenberg's uncertainty principle as they knew some tricks around it.

All matter leaves imprints in the higher dimensions. By accessing a small subspace scanner array the orbiting satellite could pick up those imprints and analyze them better than atoms in the dimensional space. The entire school library was now in the CRD database. A quick swing over the watchers council headquarters in London and the computers at CRD where the best demon library in the world.

Later that night Xander apparated into the room of everybody in class with silencing and invisibility spells in place. In some cases he found the eggs hatching but got to them all in time. Picking up each egg he concentrated his power into severing the links between the molecules. The eggs literally disintegrated in his hands.

"Love the mother is in the school basement, in the boiler room. It took a while to filter out the energy residue from the Hellmouth but it's there," He heard over the network when he was done.

"Thanks Cordy. I'll go take care of it," He answered back before misting himself to the school.

Misting was an ability that was left over from Percy. He was the son of the sea god and one himself. Xander still had some of Percy's blood in him so he could do it as well. Apparition near the weak point in the veil between realities is inadvisable if you can help it. That was a Quote Harry knew. It's faster than misting but Xander wasn't in a hurry.

Entering the boiler room he found the hole in the wall quickly. Pearing through the wall with one of his many Powers warned him in advance about his biology teacher trying to attack him with a pickaxe. A simple Stunner later and the Biology-Teacher was out cold. Walking down into the exposed cavern he saw the nasty Mama Bezoar.

"You are one ugly son of a bitch," He told it. It apparently took offence at that as it's eye opened, it squealed in offence, and struck out with a tentacle.

"Ooohh…tentacles. How kinky. Now if you were a hot girl with the ability to grow tentacles I might enjoy this but you aren't," Xander taunted as he channelled force lightning through the tentacle. The creature screeched in pain.

"So you are into tentacles but not S&M. You are such a hypocrite," He continued to taunt. Feeling a bit guilty about the bad pun he just made he gathered his Powers and started to blast it with force lightning. As it writhed and screeched in pain Xander quickly got bored. Turning the lightning into Fiendyfire he burnt the thing to a crisp. Scanning his Teacher he made sure to remove the last offspring before remote teleporting him to his bed at home.

Feeling very happy with himself he was walking out of the School whistling to himself.

"Looks like we have a tasty snack here," One Voice drawled in a Texan accent ahead of him. Two Vampires with Cowboy hats and very old taste on Clothing came out of the Dark.

"You must be the Gorch brothers," Xander stated without a care.

"Carl we are famous," the other one said. Xander just shook his head.

"I don't think I like your names. I'm going to name you Mr. Crispy and you Mr. Crispier," Xander pointed to Carl and then Lyle. They appeared perplexed at his lack of fear before he pointed a hand at each. One received a blast of Fiendyfire and the other a blast of force lightning so strong they both turned to ash.

"Demons just aren't as strong as they used to be," Xander stated before misting home to his loving girlfriend.