In four days time, komachi turns 16.

Four days from now, I will be seeing her for the first time in four months.

I still vividly remember our last encounter— Komachi sending me off at the train station with tears in her eyes, and a deep fissure in my heart as I bid farewell to my beloved sister— before I depart for matriculation abroad. As the days to our eventual reunion gradually approach, I tire myself with growing anticipation.

What am I going to say to her?

What will she say to me?

Has she grown cuter?

A myriad of thoughts bombarded my mind, rendering me restless in bed at night. Alas, it is merely four days before her birthday, and I am already this excited. It appears that sleeplessness is here to stay for the next few days at least.

In three days time, Komachi turns 16.

My anticipation is slowing devouring me inside. But no time getting killed by it. I have almost forgotten something of paramount importance (something that a cool, rational person like me will not forget under normal circumstances, but my love for Komachi supersedes reason) — a birthday present for Komachi.

So I went to the mall, a rather shabby and pathetic establishment compared with what we had back home. I was too used to the conglomeration of malls in modern, metropolitan Japan, whose size and variety amount to epic proportions. Nevertheless, this sad excuse of a mall was the only one of its kind within my immediate vicinity.

This period of absense has solidified my platonic feelings for my one and only beloved sister. And Komachi has likewise reciprocated with equal degree of affection. It is evident from the conversations we had through the phone that she is equally excited to see me as I am to see her.

But who could blame her? We have never been away from each other for so long before in our lives. (Except for the period between our births, but I shall not delve into that— the period without Komachi in my life is a memory not worth reminiscing over)

In two days time, Komachi turns 16.

I spent the whole day shopping for her birthday present yesterday. Initially, it was supposed to be only a two-hour affair. There were simply no presents that could aptly evoke the degree of my brotherly love for her. For all that she has done for me, Komachi deserves something much more than a mere material object for a gift, as far as my opinion is concerned. Notwithstanding the differences in opinion, I might just punch whoever that agrees to disagree with me on this point. Call me a despot, but to me, it takes a literal monster to make such an outrageous statement. To that end, I will treat the subject as such.

But I digress. Anyways, I eventually settled for a friendship bracelet. Now, why a friendship bracelet, you may ask. There must be thousands of more sensible choices out there for a birthday present.

And I shall digress again. Let me tell you a story, a story that to this day still brings a tear to my eyes…

Let's rewind the clock back several years. Imagine your dead-fish eyed protagonist, except he was 11 year old, and not yet a dead-fish eyed protagonist.

Boy was I edgy back then. If you think I am edgy now, be prepared for a rude awakening as we take a trip down memory lane. I was the eternal loner, always by myself, always keeping to myself, and never giving a fuck about either. To say that I had friends back then would be akin to saying Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself.

I was not at all bothered about my lack of friends. As a matter of fact, the very concept of friendship itself eluded my juvenile mind. To me, friendship was more of a luxury than a necessity.

On a particular bad day— which happened to be my birthday— I trudged home with a more depressing outlook on life than ever before.

Our classroom has this calendar scribbled with the birthdays of the entire class. It served the purpose of remind us about each other's birthday, so that we could host an informal party to celebrate the birthday. By a sheer chance of fate, I shared the same birthdays with another guy. Guess whose birthday they celebrated? Definitely not Hikigay's. To add insult to injury, everyone knew about my birthday— they simply chose to ignore it.

My horrific experience completely obliterated what remained of my faith in friendship and camaraderie. By the time I reached home, I vowed to shun any social interactions from there on out, and stay forever alone for the rest of my life.

"Happy Birthday! Onii-chan!"

When I arrived at my doorstep, what greeted me was the total opposite of what I went through in the day. 9 year old Komachi greeted me with the greatest enthusiasm the moment I stepped into the house. A myriad of decorations and party poppers filled the entire living room. On the table lays a tremendous chocolate cake, no doubt coming from Komachi's paltry pocket money.

I could feel my stoic facade beginning to soften. It was the first time someone besides my parents had put in so much effort and sacrifice into my birthday.

"Onii-chan, here's your birthday present!"

"What is this, Komachi?"

"It's a friendship bracelet I made myself! Look, I even got a matching pair!"

"But why? Not that I don't like it, but why would you give me a friendship bracelet?"

"Because friends are the most important people in my life. And that would be you, Onii-chan."

"I wish this bracelet can let us stay best friends forever, Onii-chan."

"Because I love you."

For the first time in my life, my stoic front crumbled completely into rubble. I pulled Komachi towards me and gave her my first hug ever. I secretly vowed to love and treasure my sister for the rest of my life.

To say that this event had shaped me into a better person would be an outright lie in itself. I was still the socially awkward loner whose socially awkward traits are seemingly borne inherent in me.

But there is one thing for sure: even in the greatest of adversities and darkest of nights, there will be somebody whom I can rely on; somebody whom I can solely live for; somebody whom I will not hesitate one bit to give my life for.