I am so sorry this took so long. I never stopped working on it but writer's block had me beat. In addition college started up again and I've been putting a massive amount of time into planning for my upcoming trip to Japan in May. I'm staying in-yes, very ironic- Shibuya, Tokyo. So I've been crazy busy. But this chapter is finally here.

"It's been two weeks, I think I'm strong enough to attend a ball of all things. It's a few hours of dancing, food and chatting with some nobles."

Yuuri tried to sound as confident as possible. Adalbert and Conrart were less than convinced. Both glared sternly at him. Conrart had allowed Yuuri out of bed for a few hours a week ago for their usual daily walk through the gardens. That morning had ended with Yuuri having a sudden dizzy spell and being carried back to his room.

Yuuri had been stuck in bed by Gisella's orders for two weeks. She had insisted that until they knew how Ulrike's miraculous spell would effect his body he would need to remain under close supervision. For Yuuri that meant trying to sneak out of his bedroom late at night only to find Conrart waiting in the hallway giving him an intense disappointed stare. He always gave an innocent pleading look, gazing at the freedom of the hallway behind him. It was hard to resist, but Conrart managed.

For Adalbert that meant ignoring the whispers from some of the less than pleased castle residents about his presence here. He had been absent for twenty years, and not everyone was ready to welcome someone back that many considered a traitor to the country.

Immediately after being healed Yuuri was abnormally weak to his clear displeasure. Every time he fell on the cold stone floor when trying to walk long distances he was more irritated than in pain. He kept trying no matter how much he fell. Stubborn as always. His protests when Adalbert tried to kindly carry him back to back to bed attested to this.

Yuuri struggled with walking and keeping food down for the first week. Wolfram had remarked that it was like watching himself at sea. Yuuri compared the aftermath of his experience to a mild case of the flu. There were storm clouds in his mind that dampened his already somber mood as of late even more. He would gaze out the window sometimes, letting the sunlight warm his face. Conrart would watch the light bathe his figure in a warm glow. He was so pale he almost seemed translucent.

Ulrike claimed it was from so much of her maryoku being forced into his own soul. His own maryoku would soon replenish itself and his strength would return. His body had treated Ulrike's foreign maryoku like a virus at first, and like a patient receiving a prosthetic limb his body would need time to adjust and accept it.

The necklace had remained around his neck the entire time. The thought that Yuuri could die if he took it off scared Conrart at first, but after a few days it was a thought he could shove to the back of his mind. Yuuri could function without this being a major issue- as long as the necklace was not removed for any reason. The many ways it could be removed by force drove him mad the first few days. He noticed Yuuri had taken to shoving it underneath his shirts. Conrart wondered how hard it must be to ignore it with the cold weight of the shining blue stone always resting on his chest. He reached under his shirt sometimes to grasp it in-between his fingers then quickly removed his hand as if it burned.

Wolfram had visited Yuuri everyday, not saying much but grasping his hand protectively, as if any minute the fragile illusion of life would shatter into a million pieces. They talked often, and Yuuri would refuse to look Wolfram in the eyes sometimes. His little brother always knew when something was wrong with Yuuri. He had journeyed all the way to Big Shimaron on such a feeling. If he were to look directly at Yuuri, he'd see the fear and uncertainty in his eyes associated with his precious necklace. They all tried to forget it was there. Acknowledging it would cement the fact that this miracle was at its core only temporary, and could be ripped away from them at any time. No, he would not let that happen.

Conrart thought back to the day that Yuuri had almost died and still felt the dark shadow of his fear leering over him. Not much made him that afraid. He'd already lost nearly everything he would ever be afraid of losing once before. His heart ached at the possibility of losing any of it again. But he was not afraid. One day it would happen again, whether that was tomorrow or three hundred years from now. But he couldn't bear the thought of losing Yuuri, not at any point in time. His heart told him that Yuuri would live forever, the small black haired youth forever at his side dragging him into more adventures. He supposed he would, for better or for worse. He would always live in his heart, even if the unthinkable happened, a person sized ache that would never fade away. Although he had promised himself long ago that if the unthinkable came, he wouldn't have to suffer long. Being reunited in another place, wherever that may be, was an opportunity he could never throw away in any lifetime. That promise still made his heart ache.

He had met up with Gwendal soon after everything was under control once more and they had talked, longer than they had in a while actually. His older brother could be so gruff and seemingly uncaring, but after getting to know him you started to see that was not the case. The discomfort was evident as Conrart discussed with him the details of Yuuri's brush with death. Gwendal had heard about the incident after Greta had showed up at his office door crying. Knowing there was nothing he could do at that point that had not already been done he resigned himself to his fate and walked to the tomb of Shinou as if it were his own funeral march. He took the little girl with him and the two walked solemnly with her to find Conrart. Greta was so young, but so naive that she could not comprehend death. Death was something she knew quite well in fact, and she knew enough to know that running to the scene would do nothing now. Gwendal hadn't answered any of her questions about Yuuri's well-being. He looked away as if he hadn't even heard them. They had been half hearted at best anyway, a way to stave off the pain she was feeling just a bit longer and replace it with worry. As good as he was with children, there were some things that had no easy explanation even if she had expected an answer.

They learned of Ulrikes miraculous interference soon after it happened and the priestess was waiting for them outside of the tomb. Ulrike had met him there first, her long hair uncharacteristically messy and in her eyes not allowing them to go any further into the tomb. Little Greta had been clinging to the lapels of his jacket, her eyes full of grief for her adopted father. Gwendal had expressed his guilt that he had not been present to assist them earlier. He had been uncharacteristically soft-spoken, and his eyes searched the darkened doorway of the tomb behind him with naive hope. Ulrike had smiled and told them that all was well. Greta cried tears of relief.

Gwendal had visited Yuuri on occasion since then, silently handing him some of his better made knitted stuffed animals. Yuuri always smiled and thanked him. Knitting was Gwendals passion, and though his talent may not lie in accurately representing the animals he tried to recreate, one could see the great effort he put into his work. Yuuri hugged the ones he received, marveling at how soft they were. "They're like giant pillows," he grinned. Gwendal had cracked a smile. Yuuri pretended he didn't see it for his sake. One day he would teach Gwendal to smile more freely.

Right now there was a giant stuffed alligator ( or was it a seal?) Lying on its side next to Yuuri in bed. He was leaning on it like a body pillow.

Adalbert kneeled over the small bed and leaned his arm on the covers next to Yuuri. "You falling over mid waltz doesn't exactly reflect well on any of us. I know it's tough, but you need to think this through. The more you push yourself the longer it's going to take for you to be well."

Adalbert's sudden interest in their former king mystified the castle staff, and everyone had been carefully listening for any hint of an explanation. Adalbert provided none, but he did provide a quick remark that he had his own reasons to anyone that dared to ask him directly. Yuuri was one of these people, and he had been wondering the same thing since he had met up with Adalbert back in Seisoku. He didn't object to Adalbert's change of character, but the curiosity was still there.

Yuuri was never one to stay still for too long. He longed to be outside and participating in the events of castle life. Being stuck in bed just made him feel bored. And due to Conrart, his stealthy attempts at escaping weren't going anywhere. He swore the man had been trained as a ninja at some point in his life. He appeared out of nowhere sometimes.

Besides, when vague shapes and colors were the only thing you could see and you couldn't go anywhere, the things he didn't want to think about started knocking on the windows to his mind. He couldn't ignore them forever. This world was all Julia had ever known. But he could not accept this as his new world. It was like a dark curtain had been pulled over everything.

"I won't do something like that. Conrad can go with me! He can be my escort. If I start feeling sick I'll take a break and sit down for a while, I promise!"

Adalbert turned to Conrart. "Stubborn, isn't he? It's been a while though. As long as you're with him I don't see the harm in letting him dance his heart out."

Adalbert had been staying at the castle for the past two weeks. The duration of his visit had never been formally discussed, but he said he wanted to observe the aftermath of Ulrike's interference and how Yuuri would be faring. Conrart found this unusual like the rest of the castle, but whenever he tried to breach the subject Adalbert would quickly change the subject or engage himself in conversation with someone else. This made Conrart smile. Adalbert could be very rough around the edges, but Yuuri's gentle kind hearted nature had penetrated the armor he kept around his heart.

Yuuri was so excited, and he did seem more energetic than he was last week. He couldn't bring himself to refuse the request. A fun night and some extra food would do Yuuri good. Wolfram had also been bugging him about when Yuuri would be out of bed. He insisted that sight played no role in his love for his fiance and that he could easily show Yuuri that if he would just give him a chance by talking to him. Wolfram could be very forceful at times, but at times his gentle side that not many would guess he possessed would shine through.

"I agree," Conrart relented. The ball starts at nine tonight, Yuuri. We must find you an appropriate outfit. Come on. My mother has a near infinite collection of formal clothes. She will have some things you can choose from." Conrart reached over and pulled Yuuri out of bed, grabbing his hand in case he was unsteady. His hand was cold and combined with his current paleness Conrart was reminded of marble.

Yuuri was still dressed in his blue pajamas. He opened his dresser drawer and felt around for some socks. He pulled them on before holding open the door for the others.

Conrart noted he seemed to be walking steadily. He nodded approvingly. Yuuri was doing much better. He was even smiling, looking down at his legs with pride. He'd finally gotten some of his strength back.

Adalbert followed them both down a few winding hallways to a thick wooden door. He grunted as he forced the heavy door open. It was old and stuck firmly in it's frame.

The scent on Celi's favorite jasmine perfume wafted out from the closet.

Closet may have been an understatement. Conrart had been in his mother's walk-in closet a few times to help her sort her collection and place new articles of clothing in their proper places, but he was always impressed with how large this room was. It was about as large as Conrart's bedroom, and each wall was lined with racks of suits, dresses and jackets. His mother had some of his old formal suits in here and Wolframs as well.

Conrart took Yuuri's hand and led him to stand near the wall with most of the men's clothes. He lifted his hand to run it along the clothes.

"Pick something you think feels nice. You should be comfortable above all else, especially if you'll be dancing. Wolfram can be quite wild when he dances with a partner. He is a very aggressive dancer."

Yuuri blushed. "How do you aggressively dance?"

"Ask Wolfram."

Yuuri stroked the different fabrics, stopping to hold some of them and ran his fingers over them. He stopped and pulled a heavy suit off the rack.

"This is so soft! What does it look like?"

Conrart held the velvet suit up in front of him."It's lovely, and since it's winter I don't imagine you'll be too warm in it. It's a forest green suit, with a red ribbon around the collar. Just try not to get the velvet dirty. It's difficult to clean."

He handed the suit back to Yuuri. "Do you need any help putting it on?"

"Maybe with just tying the ribbon and adjusting some things. I can do most of it myself though. Just give me a minute or two."

Yuuri did manage to put the suit on correctly, but the pants were too big in the waist and the suit shirt and jacket both were overly baggy. He had to roll the waistband of the pants down a few times to make them stay up. Tailoring it would have fixed that, but the ball was in a few hours and the tailoring shops in town likely couldn't do something on such short notice.

"I can't see this, but I feel like I look ridiculous. Aren't these labeled by size?"

Conrart was stifling a laugh. He looked ridiculous. It truly was an elegant suit, fitted for royalty. Just bigger royalty. "Some are, and some are custom pieces that have no labels."

Adalbert didn't bother to hold it in. He chuckled. "Trying dancing in that and they may mistake you for one of the castle's performers."

Yuuri blushed. "Hey, aren't you two supposed to be helping?"

"We're advising you on the tragic mistake you'll be making if you decide to wear that." Conrart smirked. "Let me find you something. What's your size?"

"Small, last I checked."

Conrart looked him over intensely and poked him in the stomach. Yuuri recoiled and scowled in his general direction. "Let's go with extra small. The ones over here look to be on the smaller side."

He pushed outfits to the side, taking a few and placing them aside to try on. He started with a simple suit with a white shirt and red pants. He held them up to Adalbert who looked at them oddly but nodded approvingly.

"Lord Weller?" He asked. "Can I see that ?"

He took the suit and looked inside on the collar. "It looks like it might fit him," he observed. He leaned in closer to Conrart and whispered softly, too softly for Yuuri to hear. "That's in a child's size though."

"He doesn't need to know that." Conrart whispered. He handed the suit to Yuuri. "This one is nice too. It's white and red. My mother can pick a rose to pin to your shirt. Wolfram would love this one."

Conrart felt like he'd betrayed Yuuri by not telling him exactly what he was trying on, but he doubted anyone would know the difference if it wasn't sized for his age group. It was a very mature looking outfit. This was for his own good. The boy still hadn't gained back the weight he'd lost after returning from Seisoku. There were things here in a very small men's size, but not a vast assortment. He would also admit that his mother's tastes in fashion were not always the best. Some of the things he'd pulled off the rack should never see the light of day again. He'd found a hot pink satin ruffled shirt that should be burned at the first opportunity.

He wasn't certain a child's suit would fit either, even a very large one, but he figured it was worth a shot. He could always pretend that he hadn't looked at the size if Yuuri questioned why it was so small.

"Okay, I'm done," Yuuri called from inside the closet.

Conrart and Adalbert entered hopefully. Neither of them liked spending this much time searching for clothes. Conrart was a simple man who never took much time in selecting fashionable clothes. In the military there was no time for it, and he'd always preferred simple comfortable clothes over some of the formal wear that Wolfram was so fond of.

Adalbert practically lived in his armor and whatever clothes were easiest to fit under it.

Both could agree that this suit was a good match though- at least half of it was.

Yuuri still had his jeans on and the suits pants lay crumbled on the floor. The shirt and jacket fit him well though. It was almost a tailored fit.

Conrart fixed his shirt collar and smoothed out the jacket. "This is perfect. I suppose the pants didn't fit?"

"No. They were weirdly tiny. I couldn't get them on all the way. The rest is fine though."

Conrart gave Adalbert a prideful smile and a thumbs up.

"We can always grab some black or red pants that fit off the rack."

They had decided to grab something to eat before the ball. It was still early morning and no one had eaten breakfast yet. Yuuri had been joining the maids for meals in the kitchen occasionally. The women always enjoyed his company. He was so kindhearted and they loved to hear his stories about the far off land of Japan. Not many of the castle residents bothered to sit down and eat with them, so having Yuuri there was a real pleasure for all of them.

Sangria had made vegetable dumplings with some noodles and they were all chewing quietly. Yuuri hadn't touched much of his food. He'd had one of the dumplings, and two others lay on the edge of his plate.

Conrart watched him, frowning. "Is everything alright?" He asked.

There were times when he would get such a faraway look on his face over the past few months. He would gaze off into the distance, his eyes glazed over with a somber emotion Conrart couldn't place. He knew there were some things that Yuuri kept to himself. That didn't mean he had to always like it. A lot of problems could be solved simply by talking about them.

"Yes, I'm fine," Yuuri replied, not really paying attention. He stabbed a dumpling with his fork. It split down the middle.

"People who are 'fine' eat their dinner, not play with it." Adalbert plunked his glass full of beer down on the table. A red blush covered his cheeks.

"I am eating. See? I had like four dumplings already."

"Then stop playing with the rest and eat them. They can't be that bad. Do we really need a redo of the desert, brat? I don't particularly enjoy having to cook up a three course meal last minute."

Yuuri stuttered, embarrassed. "It was one time. I said I was sorry. Come to think of it though, I don't think I ever thanked you for that time. I'm sorry."

"Your reputation precedes you, Lord Von Grantz," Conrad interrupted. "Various countries praise your cooking ability and the obvious joy you take in preparing a meal."

"Such short notice is another thing entirely! There's no time to prepare the right ingredients. You can't get the quality of a fine meal with subpar ingredients." His beer glass was empty, and a giggling Sangria poured him another.

The other two maids stood in a corner of the room, alternating between looking at the rare sight of Adalbert under the influence and laughing softly amongst themselves.

"Subpar?" Yuuri exclaimed. "That was better than some of the best restaurants in Tokyo! Don't put yourself down."

"Julia spoke highly of your cooking as well," Conrart praised, knowing he was saying the right thing.

Adalbert smiled. It was a strange sight, and it looked wrong at first, like wearing someone else's glasses. It spoke of a fondness seldom seen on his rugged person. "She always was honest with her preferences. Couldn't stand my beef stew though."

His eyes drifted back to Yuuri, serious once more. "I don't think you'd like my stew either then. I'd still like to know what has the once great and mighty maoh so depressed though. What's the harm in telling?"

"There's nothing wrong. I'm just not overly hungry. Thanks for the concern though." He forced a reassuring grin.

"You haven't been very hungry in a month." Conrart sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I'm worried about you Yuuri. All of us see how thin you've been getting. Gwendal suggested forcing you to eat more, but I hate that idea. Something has to be bothering you. Please, I need to know the problem so I can fix it. This doesn't have to be a major issue."

Unexpected tears glistened and leaked from the corners of Yuuri's scrunched up eyes. Had he been holding this in all morning? He wiped them away quickly.

"I can fix it myself. I just need to come to terms with a few things. There's been a lot going on the past month."

"What things?" Conrart said softly. He reached over to the pitcher on the middle of the table and poured him more water. He pushed the glass towards him, urging him to drink.

The three maids looked at a rough patch in the floor, trying to distance themselves from the awkward direction this conversation was taking.

"Should we be here?" Sangria whispered to Doria. "The young man looks upset."

Doria shook her head and shrugged. "Trying to leave now might draw attention though. I don't want him to feel unwanted."

Lasagna frowned and went to the stove to get a pro of chamomile tea going. It always soothed the nerves.

Conrart relaxed his tense muscles and tried to look more at ease. "Yuuri you know you can always ask me for help. And Wolfram, Gwendal, Gunter and all of us. We want to help."

Yuuri got up from the table and shoved his chair to the side in frustration. "This isn't something you can help me with. Excuse me, but I have something I need to do." He lowered his head and tried not to meet anyone's curious gazes.

Adalbert left his seat and grabbed him firmly by the upper arm. "No, you don't. Kid, I remember well what you said to me back in town. Let yourself be fixed up. Mental wounds can be just as bad as physical ones. They're often worse."

"He's right, you know." Lasagna added, sending a comforting half smile Yuuri's way.

Adalbert pushed Yuuri back down into his chair and kept a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Tell me what would you rather have? A nice talk with your caring guard present or a more serious one alone with me. I meant what I said. Back after the tournament in Shimaron and in the desert. You won't be harmed in my care. But I can make this talk a lot more uncomfortable for you if you resist it. Please just make this easier on all of us, kid."

Conrart watched the exchange, a bit unsetted. He never knew the details of what happened during those times, and now he wondered if maybe he should have asked. He felt worry snake it's way around in his chest, tightening around his heart as he thought of what all this could be about. The air of wrongness around Yuuri the past month that was distinctly foreign to the normal contagious happiness he usually gave off was more apparent now than ever. Conrart felt energized and eager to banish it from the room. He itched to reach for his sword, but this was not a problem that he could slash away. The military had taught him much about physical conflict. He still longed for a teacher that could guide him through emotional conflict.

"Yuuri," he began, trying to keep a warm, inviting tone. "What is he talking about? I promise there's nothing to be upset about. Did something happen?"

He wasn't sure how to deal with Yuuri putting up walls like this. He had never had any children. Wolfram had always put up walls, choosing to alienate him from the happenings of his daily life until recently. He had never felt the need to take down those walls. They had been there for so long he had learned to accept it, noticing Wolfram's dismal, quiet moods and not finding it overly difficult to move on with his day.

It was different with Yuuri. He felt those barriers between them, tall and darkly looming over them both like mountains. He couldn't ignore it. There was a need to connect with the person on the other side. Both hands placed with fingers spread against the wall on either side could never be enough.

Yuuri took a deep breath and put a hand curled into a fist against his chest. Conrart knew his heart was pounding without having to feel for a pulse. He had missed some vital opportunities over the past month, potential conversations and solutions that he had passed by because he didn't know how to use them. By putting those off he had made Yuuri feel worse. His nails dug into his palms, leaving red indentations.

"Since coming back to Shin Makoku I haven't been able to adjust very well." Yuuri began, pausing to consider if this was the right thing to say.

He looked up in Adalbert's direction. He was trying not to look towards Conrart. "I can't understand how to live my life like this. I can't see five feet in front of me. I can't do anything for anyone or even myself. It gets so dark at night and I still can't sleep. There's almost no difference at night between my eyes being open or closed. I can't look at anyone's faces to see how they really feel. I look in front me and there is nothing."

He forced Adalbert's hand off his shoulder with surprising forcefulness. He didn't move to put it back on, but reached for his glass and took another sip.

"Everyone had to change the way they live their lives for me. And Sara? Sara took advantage of all that. You wanna know why I never answered your question about what happened down in the underground city Conrad?" He did turn towards Conrart now, and the tears were flowing freely. "Because I can't deal with what happened down there myself."

Conrart got up and pushed Adalbert aside before sitting down in the seat next to Yuuri. He'd had enough. It was time to stop shyly letting his uncertainties of his abilities get in the way. He hated seeing Yuuri this distraught.

"We need to discuss this," He stated firmly. "We can go somewhere more private if you prefer."

"Let's go to my room." Yuuri sighed, defeated. He may have a track record of being stubborn, but Conrart had a longer one and he knew it.

No one followed them as Yuuri was guided quickly down the halls and around turns. Winter's chill penetrated the castle walls and left spaces without a fire uncomfortably cold. Around here, you learned quickly to always walk around with a cloak or jacket if you were leaving the comforting warmth of a fire. Conrart noticed that Yuuri had forgotten one and that he was shivering in his thin pajamas.

Conrart's fixation on how on earth he was supposed to sort this out prevented him from considering how fast he was going until Yuuri's hand was ripped from his and as he tripped and landed hard on the floor.

"Oh… I'm sorry, Yuuri. I should have gone slower for you. Are you hurt?" He lifted him to his feet.

"No, I'm just fine. You don't need to go slower. I can keep up."

Conrart bit back the retort that no, he didn't appear to be able to. He knew that saying that would just upset him and offering his help was a bad idea at the moment. Yuuri could he very headstrong when he made decisions. If he didn't want assistance he wouldn't take it. Conrart did adapt to an ever so slightly slower pace though. He hoped Yuuri wouldn't notice.

Yuuri's bedroom was cold, with the blackened remains of a day old fire in the fireplace. Conrart had decided last month to move Yuuri's room a bit closer to his in case of any trouble. He knew Yuuri was very capable, but he still worried about him getting lost or some assassin taking advantage of his lack of sight. Yuuri hadn't objected. The room was still decently sized and Wolfram still stayed there as well. He didn't think there was anyone who could convince his younger brother to do otherwise.

Conrart ushered Yuuri over to sit on the bed while he grabbed a few logs from the stack and lit a match.

"Here." He tossed a blanket over to Yuuri to use until the fire began to warm the room. One thing he missed about Earth was heaters. The comforting warmth radiating from space heaters and vents could be arranged with the touch of a button or the turn of a dial. Regretfully, such pleasures didn't exist here.

"Thank you. So...I guess we have to talk now?" Yuuri laughed nervously. He was normally very chatty, but he had been quiet ever since they had left the kitchen. Conrart wanted to shake the hesitation out of him. He must know that he could speak to him about anything that bothered him. His silence as of late was frustrating. He knew it wasn't personal, but he always tried to come off as a gentle, understanding companion. He tried not to focus too much on some moments in the recent past when he had failed at that. To be shut out in response was an unwelcome change.

Conrart smiled. "Don't worry, I don't bite. Much."

"That would be funny, but I know you're called the Lion of Luttenburg for a reason."

"I got that nickname years ago. Yozak has been bringing it back recently as a bit of a joke. Lions protect their young. They'll fight to the death to protect them. I have and will continue to. Even if Yozak does continue to torture me with the nickname."

Yuuri started at him with eyes as wide as dinner plates before blushing. He touched the blue necklace under his shirt fondly, fiddling with the chain. It was a gift he'd said he held dear before, and even with recent events considered it seems he still did.

He sat on the bed and took a deep breath. "Yuuri, forgive me for prodding into your personal thoughts, but this can't go on any longer. You haven't talked to me, or Wolfram or any of us about what happened back in Seisoku. Everything you've been feeling over the past month just exploded out of you back there. Let me see what's going on in that head of yours. I want to see you smile again."

Yuuri was silent. He started to tug on a loose string on his shirt.

"It was hard finding out one day that I suddenly couldn't see. I tried to keep you from finding out but you did, inevitably. Everyone did and suddenly I wasn't your baseball buddy or your King. I was practically helpless, and you had to take care of me because that was what you promised yourself. I don't want that for myself, or for you."

"Never say that again." Conrad's tone was chilling and Yuuri flinched. "You are not helpless and I have never regretted my decision to stay by your side. I'd still be here even if you lost the ability to walk. It'd make things more difficult, but we'd find a way. To be blunt, your Majesty, you are now and forever stuck with me. Judging by Wolfram's temper tantrums he realized that long ago."

Yuuri laughed, an easy thing after the tension of the room had begun to thin. "I guess you're right. But it's really rough not being able to see. I'm waiting for the day when I grab rat poison instead of sugar. And home? My other home, I mean…"

His eyes were wet and glistened in the fires light. "I miss Tokyo a lot sometimes, even with everything I have here. But then I think, why miss it? What's there for me to see anymore?"

"Oh Yuuri… It's hard for me to comprehend something like that having never lost my sight but I did know Susana Julia very well, and I can tell you even with no eyesight that she was very happy. It's a shame that the rest of us couldn't see the beauty in the world that she did."

Yuuri started to say something then quieted. "Conrad, do you think that I'm going to end up like Miss Julia?" he asked hesitantly.

Conrart froze. "What do you mean?"

"She died didn't she? During the war? She used up all her magic. Sometimes I think I remember some strange things. I'm blind like her. So who's to say that one day my magic won't be enough?"

"Yuuri, you have no reason to use your magic nowadays. No one has tried to take you or attack you for a long time. I'm not saying it's impossible but I promise you I'd do everything in my power to protect you. Even if I were to fall, I'd want to still keep some majitsu for yourself. Don't drain yourself dry for all of us. You've done quite enough for a lifetime."

He didn't ask about the strange things he remembered. One thing at a time. He made a note to ask about it at a more convenient time.

"Thank you Conrad." Yuuri leaned against him affectionately for a moment, partially for the body heat in the cold room, before pulling away.

"Of course. Now, I want you to talk to me about everything that's been on your mind lately. And perhaps to a professional as well. That doesn't have to be Adalbert, despite his hinting.

Adalbert can serve as a more physical advisor. Or hired bodyguard, though I think at this point money is a trivial thing to him. Everyone wants you to feel better, Yuuri. "

"I'm grateful for all of you guys. But the professional thing seems a bit much, don't you think? I'm just a little depressed." He flinched at using the word depressed.

"I don't think so, Yuuri. We can find someone you'll really like. I really do recommend you speak to someone." Even if that's not me, he thought.

Adalbert has some medical experience as does Gisella when she returns. I also want you to start eating more. It'll help your mood and l can put you on a diet you'll really like. Lots of sushi and cupcakes."

"I don't need anymore boat wrapped sushi Conrad."

"Your homeland has some odd customs. I didn't know what to think when you told me that, so I went with what seemed like the obvious solution."

"Why would I mean that literally? That was such a waste of fish! We could have fed so many people with that. Although I applaud you on your fishing skills."

The old wooden door to Yuuri's room always stuck, and Gunter had to kick it open. He smiled and tossed his long hair out of his eyes. He appeared to be sweating through his thick shawl.

"Yuuri, so this is where you went. I heard there was some sort of commotion in the kitchen. Is everything alright?"

The fire crackled in the fireplace and Sparks flickered in the air. Conrart ushered him in.

"Gunter, you have good timing." He turned towards Yuuri. "Would Gunter be a good person to talk to?" He saw Yuuri's hesitant frown.

"Conrad it's not that I don't want to talk to you. I love talking to you. I just don't want to hurt you or waste your time."

"Conrart has taken worse abuse than whatever you're planning on saying," Gunter assured him. "I came here to check up on both of you in fact. Sangria informed me what occurred and I'd like to help, if my help will be accepted. I used to be a teacher you know. Many of my students would come to me after class to talk."

Yuuri got up and moved closer to the fire. "Talk about what?"

"Oh, all sorts of things. Family, friend's, relationships and some more serious topics I won't delve into right now. I can be a very good confidant, if you would accept me."

Yuuri looked in the directions of each of them, weighing his options.

"I want both of you here. I don't want to hurt Conrad's feelings and Gunter, well, you are a really great person to talk to. I'm glad you were my teacher."

"I still am." Gunter grinned. "Don't assume that this break you've had in lessons lately will continue."

"But I can't see! How will you teach me?"

"You read very well by touch. And I have no issue teaching you verbally. Just think of the stimulating conversations we'll have!" A trickle of blood oozed down from his nose.

Conrart smacked him lightly in the head. "Get ahold of yourself teacher. You don't want to soak your student."

"I am very much in control of myself. My bleeding condition is unfortunate however." He wiped his nose with his sleeve and continued. "Shin Makoku actually has a large array of resources for those without eyesight. You can thank Miss Julia for that. Besides, I never give up on a student. If I could handle Conrart, I can handle anyone."

Yuuri seemed a little more at ease. "Alright. I already told Conrad most of everything. I'm having a hard time adjusting to not being able to see. It scares me sometimes. Even if I ever could go back to Japan, what would be the point? A baseball player can't be blind."

Conrart flinched. He'd let that detail of Yuuri's life slip to the back of his mind. There was no way for him to continue to play. What was he supposed to say to something like that that wouldn't make Yuuri feel worse? Luckily Gunter was far more skilled in emotional matters.

He patted him on the back. "We'll figure that out later. I promise it will all be just fine. You just need to adjust. How about tomorrow I dig out some books on alternative schooling methods. I know you like to learn some things. You can pick any subject you want. Sports are certainly an option."

"That sounds great!"

Conrart hated to be the one to bring everyone's moods down, but he did feel they were getting off track a bit.

"Yuuri, there's just one more thing. Back in the kitchen you mentioned something about the King of Small Shimaron and what happened back in Seisoku. You said you couldn't deal with what happened. What did you mean by that?"

Yuuri went deathly pale and his breathing faltered. "I just had a bad time. It was pretty scary down there. You can't always tell what's real and what's not down there. Hazel said that it was a bad place that liked to play with your head. And the whole Yozak thing... I'm happy he woke up after that but I can never forget when I thought he was dead. I was alone for a while. Well, except for Sara…"

Conrart didn't have to know Yuuri as well as did in two lifetimes to look into his fear filled dark eyes and know something was deeply wrong.

"What else happened?" He said a little more sternly than he'd intended.

"It was just really dark down there. I thought I heard things moving but I'm still not sure they were there. I was down there for a really long time."

"What about King Saralegui?"

"I told you, he was there too. We were trying to find a way out."

Conrart remembered when he'd found the two and finally rescued Yuuri from the underground city after nearly a week. He'd was starving and severely dehydrated, not to mention blind. Saralegui however had been in relatively good health. He'd suspected for a while that he had been keeping water and possibly food from Yuuri while he was unsuspecting. He'd bitten back the urge to beat him senseless. He accepted that his job now was to be grateful he had Yuuri back at all and try to restore his health.

He wondered too whether or not there was more that happened than he was aware of. It had been nearly a week since he had seen Yuuri and Saralegui had been an undesirable companion from the start.

"Yuuri," he nearly whispered. He didn't want to think about what else could have been done to Yuuri in his absence. "I'm going to need you to talk to me. What did Saralegui do to you down in those tunnels?"

Yuuri was sweating and swallowed a lump in his throat. "He wouldn't give me any of the water he found. There wasn't much but there was a trickle along the walls like a little stream."

"I know that and I'm so sorry that I let that happen but that's not what I mean. Look at me. Something more is bothering you." He lifted his chin so he would look in the right direction. "It's okay. If this has been bothering you please, let Gunter and I help you fix it."

"He…well he tried to get a little closer to me than I was comfortable with sometimes. He didn't...we didn't… it was just weird." He closed his eyes, not wanting to see their reaction.

It took Conrart a moment to process the words and what they implied. Then he remembered Saralegui's words to Yuuri in the castle in Seisoku. He'd said he planned on keeping him around. As a pet or a plaything. This disturbed him greatly. He had never like how close Saralegui had been to Yuuri. Whenever he had touched him unnecessarily he found himself gritting his teeth. That comment in the castle had been as much as he could take. It had changed all his plans. He would never let that man get his hands on Yuuri. If that meant he had to break his promise to Shinou then that's what he would do. He had debated fiercely over the decision for a while before Hazel Graves had talked some sense into him. Yuuri was his responsibility.

The guilt crushed him like a ton of bricks. He had let that monster touch Yuuri…

"Gunter, take Yuuri and go. I need to be alone for a while."

Yuuri protested."I want to stay. I knew you'd react badly. Conrad, please don't do anything that would put you or Shin Makoku at risk. Let me explain."

"There's nothing you need to explain. You were hurt when you should have been safe with me. You shouldn't have ever gone to Seisoku. You should have been safe at home. There wasn't even a box to be found. There's so many things I should have done for you." He gripped his head, trying to stifle the headache he felt coming on. Yuuri shouldn't even be here right now. Conrart liked to imagine that both of them would be tossing a baseball back and forth first thing in the morning tomorrow like they always did. But as far as he knew they'd never get to do that again.

"Conrad…" What could he have said to something like that that would make any difference?

"Gunter, take Yuuri to see my mother. Tell her that Yuuri needs help getting ready for the ball tonight. Make sure Wolfram knows to dress appropriately. The royal couple must look presentable." He said all of this in a monotone voice that just barely covered the simmering rage that bubbled underneath. When Yuuri tried to reach towards him to lay a hand on his arm he brushed it away.

Gunter pulled Yuuri towards him and ruffled his hair. He got a firm hold of his hand and started pulling him towards the door. Yuuri resisted at first, but perhaps he could feel the dangerous expression on Conrart's face, because he let Gunter pull him along.

"Will I see you at the ball? You're my escort."

"I'll see if I can make the time Yuuri." It sounded so unimportant to him when he said it, altogether it was in fact very important. The matter of the King of Small Shimaron was still foremost on his mind however. He was always excellent at battle strategies and politics. How to deal with such a personal issue without it escalating into war was not something he could fathom though. He tried not to mess with the delicate political balance between countries. But was he really expected to just let this go? Even if Yuuri was fine now and it hadn't gone too far, it still troubled him that anything at all had occurred.

He sighed. He'd have to think about it. There were more important matters at hand. He was still supposed to be Yuuri's escort for the ball. He really didn't feel up to it, but he could see how much Yuuri wanted him to go. The least he could do was try to cheer him up.

Clarification for those who haven't read the novel series

Hazel Graves (novel character only): Human transported from Earth to Seisoku by one of the boxes. Her aging process slowed and she is over one hundred. She cares for Yuuri and lectured Conrad on leaving Shin Makoku and Yuuri. She leads a rebellion for slaves in Seisoku.

Tunnels under Seisoku: Where Yuuri and Saralegui got stuck. A city beneath Seisoku abandoned years ago. Think about the underground city from Lord of the rings. Very similar.

Saralegui: Present in the third season of the anime but is portrayed very different. In the original canon, the novels, he is beyond redemption. Awful guy. Not like the anime. What I mentioned occuring between Yuuri and Sara in Seisoku is indeed canon and is actually partially why Conrad decided to start helping Yuuri again. Bad things would have happened if Sara got to keep Yuuri. Novels are pretty dark guys.

This story disregards the box found in Seisoku and the prison arc in the novels that follows this.

Please review! This took me a month to write and I've worked really hard on it. I'm hoping it makes people happy!