Warning: this story contains: alcoholism, dark themes, attempted suicide.

A/N:So my first Christmas on fanfiction , it has been like 3 months or so now, so I will celebrate this happy event by publishing my first dark story! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Audience:"... ... ... ..."

Author:"... ... ... ..."

Audience:"... The fuck is this shit!?"

Author: "Jokes aside I hope you have a happy Christmas with your friends and families."

"Slight Sonally, mainly Shadamy."

Don't flame please.

Now let's begin.

Christmas time approached mobius, everyone was happy with it and they prepared the decorations in their houses and doing all kinds of preparations.

In the freedom fighters HQ Sonic and Sally were setting the last bits of decorations on the Christmas tree.

"Hey Sal, could you please give me the next bulb?" Sonic asked

"Here you go honey." She said while giving him the bulb.

"This year was a good year."

"Indeed it was."

"Kicking Eggman's butt, going on adventures all the time, and most importantly..."

"What?"

"Being engaged to the love of my life."

"Ohh Sonic, I love you too honey."

"Now get me the next bulb please."

"Here you go." She said while giving him the bulb.

A few minutes later Tails, Knuckles, Silver and Blaze entered the place.

"Hey there Sonic!" Tails said, "what are you doing?"

"Hey there lil' bro!" Sonic answered. "I'm just putting the last decorations for the Christmas tree."

"That's cool!" Knuckles said. "I really should put some on the master emerald."

"Don't expect us to lend you some, we are about to run out of it here." Sonic said.

"Actually we already ran out of it." Sally said. "We should only set the star on the top of the tree."

"Great! I was about to get bored from doing it." Sonic said. "Hand it over please."

"Here you go Sonic." And she gave him the Christmas star. And Sonic took it and climbed to the top of the tree really quickly.

"Easy there Sonic!" Tails said. "You might slip and fall."

"Don't worry buddy, I am the fastest thing alive." Sonic said.

"Doesn't mean you are the most careful thing alive, you are far from earning this title." Silver said.

"Very funny Silver, now let's put this Star now." Sonic said.

Sonic then setted the Christmas star on the tree then he jumbed down the tree.

"Careful Sonic! You might break your leg!" Sally said in concern.

"But I didn't, that's the most important thing." Sonic said.

"God, your rush will make you fall in deep trouble some day." Sally said.

"Come on Sal it's Christmas, no need for lectures. Now who wants to come with me to eat some chili dogs?" Sonic said.

"I think we all will come with you right guys?" Sally said.

They all nodded in agreement.

"Alright then, let's go!" Sonic said then he rushed to the door.

"Hey Sonic wait for us! We aren't as fast as you." Tails said while flying with his double tails to catch up with him, the rest followed.

... But somewhere else...

... In the shady districts of the City...

... At a small and suspicious bar away from eyes...

... There was a black-and-red hedgehog...

... sitting on his chair...

... Hottle of beer in his right hand...

... He takes a sip...

... He wants to forget...

... The next follows...

... He tries so hard...

The next follows quickly...

But it keeps hunting him...

Another big sip is taken...

He wants to move on...

He drinks much more of the beer...

But he always chained by the very same thing...

He drinks until he emptied the bottle...

"Why can't I forget... Why she won't leave me alone." He thought to himself.

"Hey bartender! Get me something stronger!" He yalled.

"Mr. Shadow, you drank 3 bottles of vodka, 5 bottles of beer, 3 bottles of whiskey, 4 bottles of tequila and 2 bottles of champagne. This too much for you Sir, you should st-"

He angrily grabbed him from his shirt's collar.

"DO I LOOK LIKE THAT I EVEN CARE!? I'M THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM! I KNOW WHAT I'M DO KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. SO GET ME WHAT I WANT BEFORE I BREAK YOUR FUCKING NECK!"

Fearing for his life, the bartender quickly brought for him another bottle of brandy and a small glass then left him alone.

He pours some in the glass then he drinks it at once.

"I want to forget, no... I NEED to forget!" Shadow thought to himself.

To almost everyone, Shadow is an anti-hero person with a stoned heart that has no feelings, he can kill in cold blood. He won't give a damn if the world is about to be destroyed. This what everyone is thinking about him. But the truth is far more different...

Shadow is like everyone else...

He wants to laugh...

Wants to cry...

Wants to have friends...

Wants to smile...

He just wants to be normal...

The problem is though... he wants to be normal... but the memory of Maria still haunts him.

"Flashback, space colony ARK. year 1968."

"Maria! Open the pod! I can get you out, we can leave together! Don't do this!" Shadow screamed while trying to break the glass of the pod but with no success.

G.U.N forces has assaulted space colony ARK. They wanted to shut down the project because Shadow was too dangerous for them, and when Dr. Gerald refused to shut down the project they came and started to kill everyone alive. Shadow and Maria were running through the place dodging bullets trying to reach the escape pods. And just before they got there, they shot Maria's shoulder. Shadow lifted her until he reached the escape pod, when he putted her down she pushed him into the pod and closed it behind him. She headed to the control panel with the last of her strength.

"MARIA!" His cries became louder than before.

"Shadow... I won't make out of here alive and you know that *cough, cough*"

"Maria stop it!"

"You can leave now... life is ahead of you..."

"MARIA DON'T DO THIS! We can leave together."

"I just want you to promise me... that you will make the world a better place... give them another chance please..."

"Please Maria stop!"

"It looks so beautiful down there... too bad I won't be able to see it closely."

"Open it up Maria! It doesn't have to end like this!"

G.U.N. soldier stepped in and shot her several times.

"MARIA!"

"Goodbye... Shadow..." and she pressed the launch button.

He saw her falling to the ground while he could do nothing but to watch in horror before the pod sent him away from the ARK.

"End of flashback."

"I can't forgive myself, ever." He thought.

Shadow has always been isolated from the social life, he didn't have anyone in his life that can comfort him, except for Rouge maybe but he also doesn't talk to her much about his feelings. He prefers to keep it to himself, he's the ultimate lifeform and he doesn't need others pity.

He heard from some people about the alcohol and how it does make you drunk and let's you forget about things as long as you're drunk, he wanted to try it out... he wanted to forget...

But guess what? Because he's the ultimate lifeform the alcohol can't really make him drunk... he just don't want to get it.

With no friends, family, any type of help and nothing to help him forget his pain, his mental state only got worse day by day.

His phone is ringing, he picks up.

"Who's this?"

"Shadow it's Rouge, where the hell have you been?"

"In a place where you won't find me."

"Is there's something bothering bugs you?"

"It's none of your concern Rouge."

"You can't just isolate yourself with your problems Shadow, you need to find someone to talk to."

"I said it's none of your concern Rouge! Knock it out!"

"No I won't Shadow, you need help, shouldn't you take a therapy sessions."

"I don't need a therapy Rouge!"

"You don't need a therapy, you don't need friends, you don't need a relationship with a girl, then what do you need Shadow?!"

"I NEED MARIA BACK ROUGE! THAT'S WHAT I DO FUCKING NEED! AND GUESS WHAT? SHE'S DEAD! SHE'S FUCKING DEAD AND NEVER GONNA COME BACK! AND I'M LEFT HERE TO SUFFER WITHOUT HER!"

"Shadow..."

"I watched Maria die in front of me... and I couldn't do anything about it. Nothing, I have to go through the same nightmare every night where I see , I can't keep on like this anymore Rouge."

"I- I'm so sorry Shadow... I didn't know..."

"How could you? I never let anyone know about my pain, but no one will have to bother with this anymore."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm gonna be soon with Maria... Goodbye Rouge, tell everyone that I had a good time with them."

"Shadow wai-"

"*hangs up* , I'm soon gonna be free, I will see you soon Maria." Shadow said to himself, he putted the money and the tip on the table before he left quietly.

Amy was walking in the city alone, wearing her usual red dress with a red trench coat for the current cold weather thinking quite rationally about her life and relationship with Sonic. Ever since he proposed to Sally she started to doubt her feelings, did she really love him?

"I always showed love to Sonic, did anything to make him love me back, but he didn't show anything to me back..."

She passes by the florist shop, he greets her:"Marry Christmas Ms. Rose!"

She snaps out of her thoughts quickly and greets back:"Marry Christmas to you too!"

After she passes by him she slowly returns to her thoughts.

"Sonic never showed anything back to me, he only runs away from me. And now he is engaged to Sally."

Some kids playing football (Soccer if you are American.) kicked the ball too strong and it hits Amy, making her return to reality once again.

One of the kids ran to Amy and said:" Sorry Ms! I swear we didn't mean to do it!"

"It's okay." Amy replied nicely as usual.

"Can we have the ball back?" He asked shyly.

"Of course." Amy said while giving him the ball, "Just be careful next time."

"Ok Ms." He said and took the ball and returned to his friends.

She continued walking in the outskirts of the city, the line of thoughts slowly returned again.

"Maybe they are right, maybe this all was just a childish crush since the beginning, I should leave my love for Sonic behind me and look forward in life... but what should I do? I've been doing nothing in my life but trying to win Sonic's heart. What will I do now?"

Amy started to feel hopeless, her love for Sonic was the only thing to make her live, her only goal.

"This was all of my life is all about, Love Sonic, make him love me back, make a nice family and live happily ever after. But fate had another plans apparently. Sonic love Sally instead, he only saw me as a friend, nothing more. God I feel so lost... so lonely..."

Her legs somehow dragged her to the hill outside Station Square, you can see the whole city from here, Amy had no idea why she came here, but since she's here why don't she enjoy the view.

"Station Square looks so beautiful from here." She thought, "I shouldn't really overthink stuff, I will just figure something out later... I hope."

While admiring the view she noticed Shadow from afar sitting on an edge.

"Oh that Shadow over there, it has been a while since I met him, I should pass by and say hi." She said to herself.

She slowly walked towards Shadow to surprise him a little, but when she got closer she realized he's holding a gun.

She got paralyzed. Shadow sitting here by himself, and holding a gun. He must be about to commit suicide!

She didn't know what to do, if she tried to call him he might shot her instantly. But she can't let him do anything harmful to himself.

"Maria..." He said. "You have no idea how much I missed you... Since you died I had to live the painful fact that I didn't manage to protect you... I'm so sorry."

He examines his gun carefully.

"Every night, every single night... I go through the same nightmare... I'm trapped in the pod... The G.U.N. soldier shoots you... And you fall on the ground... And I do nothing but watch... no one ever gave me comfort, they only stay away from me... why everyone sees me as a horrible person?" And he started to cry.

He loads his gun.

"I know this isn't what you have wanted... But I can't bear with this anymore... I don't want to suffer anymore *sobs, sobs* I just want to be with you..." He slowly started to point the gun to his head.

"Goodbye cruel world." He said.

Amy finally decided to snap out of reality and screamed:"Shadow! Stop!"

At the the last second Shadow removed his finger off the trigger, he putted the gun away and saw who was it.

"A-... Amy?"

"Shadow?"

"How long have you been here?" Shadow asked.

"For a while I think." She replied. "What happened to you Shadow?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Isn't that obvious? Why are commiting suicide Shadow?"

"Just leave me alone Amy."

"Why should I? Just to let you kill yourself!"

"Why you care for me? I'm just a hopeless sack who has has nothing to live for. Just let me kill myself in peace."

"No Shadow, I am not moving an inch until you tell me what's wrong Shadow."

"Just. leave. ME. alone. Amy."

"I won't leave a friend in need Shadow."

The moment she said that Shadow couldn't believe what he has just heard. No one ever called him a friend before.

"Di-... did you just call me... friend?"

"Yes, Shadow, I did. Does it bother you?"

"NO! No, no, it's just no one ever called me as his friend before... almost everyone."

Amy took some steps and sat by him on the edge

"Tell me what's wrong? My ears are wide open." Amy said in a lovely tone that made Shadow relax a little.

"Are you sure you want to hear me Amy?"

"I've nothing to do anyway, and what's better to do than save a soul from a horrible fate such as suicide."

"Suicide is the only way out for me."

"Who said that? There's a lot to live for in life."

"I just wanna be with Maria! That's all I fucking want!" Shadow's tears started to fall. Amy patted on his back trying to comfort him a little.

"I'm sure Maria wouldn't like how you are right now."

"Why are you so sure?" Shadow asked.

"I don't know, but something tells me that's what she would have thought as well."

She could clearly see he was shacking, she tried to comfort him by patting him gently.

"You know what happened to Maria?"

"No, I don't, you never did tell anyone. Tell me if you want, you don't have to bear your pain alone."

"Will it help?"

"It will, trust me."

Shadow told Amy about his past with Maria, how did she die in front of him without doing anything about it, how everyone abandoning him caused him to cribble in the inside, how he tried to forget his problems via alcohol but failed, and how he decided to commit suicide. With every word he says, he feels some of his pain is taken away, the moment he finished talking, he was in a better condition, could be better though.

"You had all of this inside of you Shadow?"

"Y-.. yes..."

"And you just kept it to yourself?"

"Yes..."

"Why Shadow?"

"I-... I-... I didn't want anyone to see me as a pathetic, I'm the ultimate lifeform, I should be perf-"

He was cut off by Amy:"Shadow, no one is perfect, everyone has flaws, even the ultimate lifeform. You should try and live a normal life like everyone else."

"Everyone thinks that I am a monster, how will I manage to live normal Rose?"

"Don't doubt yourself Shadow, just try, and everyone will accept you eventually, they can't be afraid of you forever."

"I guess you're right..."

"Cheer up! I'm sure Maria wouldn't like you in this miserable status."

Shadow finally broke a small smile on his face to Amy.

"See? Much better." Amy said cheerfully.

"Thanks Amy... For everything." Shadow said quietly.

"Your welcome Shadow." She said and leaned on his shoulder.

Shadow didn't protest and allowed her to do so, he liked her close to him, he even had a crush on her. But she always were chasing Sonic and didn't even had the time to look to look at any other male so he deicided to keep it to himself.

"Ummm, Amy?"

"Yes Shadow?"

"Uhh, How's... things between you and... Faker?"

"Don't call him like that!"

"Whatever..."

"Anyway, didn't you know?"

"What? Did he finally loved you?"

"No, he actually got engaged to Sally instead... crushing every bit of a chance to get to him..." Amy sighed.

"Don't be bothered with this Amy, he's the fool for leaving you."

"You think so?"

"Of course. You're attractive, pretty, have a big heart, and always help others. Any one would want to be with you." He said with slight excitement.

"Thank you Shadow." She said.

After a brief moment of silence Amy said:"What do you think of me Shadow."

"Wh-... what?" Shadow tumbled from her question, he didn't know how he should answer properly.

"Didn't you hear what I have just said?" She asked.

"No, no, I... I heard it. It's just... ughh... I... I mean..."

Amy giggled a little from Shadow's words, it was really nice and wholesome to see Shadow being... like everyone else, not the emotionless, cold hearted stubborn him.

"Do you have anything to say for me?" She said seductively.

"Well... yes, I do." Shadow said.

"Care to say it?"

"Well... The Thing is... I always had a crush on you." He admitted.

"You did?" Amy said in surprise.

"Yes, I always liked you, remember when Sonic and I got into random fights?"

"Yes, what about it?" Amy asked, confused.

"Most of the time I attacked him after he hurts your feelings or said something bad to you."

"Was that it?"

"Of course, I didn't bear watching you cry because of faker, it makes me go nuts and fight him."

"For... for me?"

"*sigh* You don't believe me, do you?"

"I'm just... kinda surprised, I guess, but why me?"

"From the little memory I have from Maria, I can say you really remind me of her. Alot."

"I see." She said.

"Would you help me about something." He said while looking directly in her eyes.

"Something like what?" She asked, confused.

He lowered his head down "You know Amy, I don't really have a reason to live for. I will just lose hope again after a while..."

He stopped for a minute then continued: "But you can do something about it."

"I can?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yes, you can." He said. "Amy Rose, could you be..."

"B- be what?"

"I want you to be my reason to keep on life Amy."

She backed away a little from him "Sh- Shadow! What are you talking about?"

He got closer to her again: "I love you Amy, what the crime in that?"

"We can't! I... because... ah..."

"What do you have? You're gonna keep running after the blue brat who left you to that weird chipmunk?"

He held her head with his hand and took her arm with the other.

"Or you will give attention to the hedgehog running after you and will do anything for you? Choose Amy."

He started to lean closer to her face.

"Sh-... Shadow..."

She hesitated for a moment, She got lost looking at Shadow's crimson eyes, they glow brightly at night.

Shadow leaned in and kissed her quickly.

She were took off guard by his actions, and was about to pull out, but something inside of her told her to keep going, and not let him go, ever.

She gently kissed back, she wrapped her arms around him, he did the same.

He pulled out from her. He had something to say.

"Will you accept me with my flaws Rose?"

"I will accept you as you are Shads."

"I love you Amy."

"I love you too."

They locked their lips against each other, sucking each other lips.

He seeked entrance to her mouth, she welcomed, his tounge stormed her mouth, taking a taste of every part of its walls, he sucked her tounge roughly, he earned a moan of pleasure from her.

They kept on this until their lungs screamed for air. They pulled out from each other's mouth.

"I'm happy now Amy, thanks to you, I can't thank you enough."

"You're welcome Shadow."

They giggled a little then kissed each other again.

But from a tree behind them, a spirit was watching them, a spirit of girl.

"I happy for you Shadow, I will always be there for you." She said then disappeared.

The end.

My first Shadamy, my first one shot, how was it? Tell me in the reviews.

Check my profile for my other fanfics,

That's all for now, may God bless you. Peace!