This story was brought on by a rare moment of motivation, and the fact that I love characters or Self-inserts that replace cannon characters and fuck with everyone. Google search has failed me, and I can't seem to find any that I'm looking for, so I made a Sasuke one.

The POV changes sometimes. It's mostly just between Sasuke and Itachi for now, maybe Shisui later on.

Flashbacks or direct inner thoughts in 3rd person are italic. Bold is usually Biju or Zetsu speaking, otherworldly creatures, etc.

I do not own Naruto, I just toy with the characters.

Warning; Existential crisis, swearing, a dash of the funnies, Chibi Shikamaru and the start of a beautiful best-friendship.

Enjoy

Edited 1/2/2020 - Revised chapter and added a few details. Made it flow more easily.

Edited 1/20/2020 - Added Omake at the end of the chapter.

"All good stories start with character quotes at the beginning and end." - Me

So, I think I died, pretty sure of it actually.

My death was a letdown, to be honest. So, I was playing Barbies in my room, minding my own business, when nature called. So, I left the room to use the bathroom downstairs. I slipped on a conveniently placed lego. Now, I'm not going to point any fingers, but it was clearly my younger sister's fault for playing on the stairs. I fell, tumbling down the stairs, and crashing into my sister. The impact sent her off the edge of the stairs, making her fall into the office which leads directly from them. I fell a few more times at awkward angles until a felt something snap and everything went dark.

I broke my neck on some stairs.

Pretty pathetic right?

I have no clue how my sister is doing, I hope she's ok and didn't accidentally take her out with me. I don't need my sibling's death on my conscience after all. I felt the expected cold, calmness, and an almost falling sensation. At least, that's how some people think it's like to die, and they'd be right. Suddenly I felt a sharp tugging sensation and blinding light. Naturally, I didn't want to go towards the light, since that's what everybody else does. Just to spite them(and because I was still pissy at my really stupid death.), I resisted it. I quickly realized that the tugging sensation was trying to pull me opposite to the light. So shrugging, flipping the tunnel off even though I didn't think I had hands, I willingly let myself be pulled away. Pain! ow-ow ow-

I woke in a cold sweat, gulping in mouthfuls of air. I struggled to calm my breaths while the room around me spun. My breathing slowed down as my senses woke up, everything Tingley and- my skin feels tight. Wow, that's really uncomfortable. I gripped the blankets that were on me, "Just a dream?" I winced when my voice came out raspy. I sat there for a moment before it dawned on me that my voice, wasn't my voice, eyes widening at the realization. It didn't help that my body felt completely different, and I was in a room that I didn't recognize. I swept my black bangs out of my face, hair messy from sleeping, and sticking up in dark spikes. Wait… Black bangs? Hold the phone-. I jumped out of bed with the speed of a workout addict on crack and stood in the middle of the, daresay, dull bedroom. I noticed off to the side a door open to a bathroom, and promptly dashed inside and closed the door. I was much, much shorter than I was before, like a small child... oh shit.

Luckily, there was a step stool propped up against the counter. I climbed up on it and looked at myself in the mirror.

The face of Sasuke Uchiha stared back, looking very much like he did in the anime, but smaller. I just gawked, and my reflection gawked back. I brought a hand up and touched my face, pulled my hair(owie), and tugged my cheeks, scowling at the present baby fat. No doubt about it, everything felt very much real. "So I died and became Sasuke? A fictional character in a manga full of ninja wizards and creepy plant men obsessed with their mom." I muttered, My voice still held a slight rasp from dehydration and sleep. Licking my lips, I turned on the water and wet my face, then dry it with a towel hanging on a rack nearby. I studied my reflection, the same duckbutt hair, but still quite young. If I had to guess I was roughly around five years old.

Clicking my tongue I did this weird cross between a grimace and a grin. After all, I wasn't dead, and reborn or whatever in fucking Naruto. Well, not reborn I suppose, since I wasn't a baby (thankfully, otherwise I would've strangled whatever higher power put me here with my bare, kiddy hands). Suddenly I felt dizzy and gasped when a flood of memories hit me all at once like a freight train. I groaned and clutched my head, suddenly remembering what Sasuke did today and a few seemingly noteworthy memories of the past few weeks. I massaged my temples, the pounding in my head receding almost as quickly as it came.

So, I do believe that Sasuke is five like I guestimated. It would have been effort on my part to try and figure out which point in the timeline I was at, though luckily Sasuke's birthday was yesterday. Nothing screams 'five years old' like a memory clear as crystal. So, that would leave give or take two years till the massacre, maybe three. I paused at that little tidbit, one simply couldn't forget everyone's beloved edgy e-boy's backstory. Slowly, I tried sorting through my memories from my old life, and the few that the higher powers' granted me in this new one. I dwelled on a few things, like how memories from before are now fuzzy and uncertain, while Naruto knowledge seems engrained into my memory in their absence. Jeez, it's so odd to be able to disregard my old life(which ended like, a few minutes before, seriously.) easily for this new one. Now that I was Sasuke, I was essentially one of the main characters, one that had a lot of responsibilities. Not that I would try to fulfill those by being an emo prick.

I outwardly groaned at that. Couldn't I have just been some other less influential character? Even Sakura? Wait, no, I take that back. I don't want an inborn talent for ugly crying. Still, that means Orochimaru is going to be after my ass. Sighing, I accepted my fate begrudgingly. I mean, I can make the most of it I suppose, since I don't have plans for dying a second time after all. letting my hands fall to their sides, I hopped off the stool and onto the tiled floor. Wandering my way back to my new bedroom again, I reviewed the most I knew about this work in my head. I still needed to work out a few things I supposed, Though I now have what could be considered a goal. I wouldn't be the dick that Sasuke was in the show/manga, and I would try to aim for a better outcome. Simple, right? Fuck.

I paced my room, now, how would I handle this moving forward? I suppose I should try to follow the main storyline as much as I can, so things still happen roughly the same. Not like I could stop Tobi or any of the Akatsuki for that matter and change their plans in the slightest, and on purpose as I was now. I was sure if anyone found out about my knowledge I'd be screwed sideways, backward, and upsidedown. I tilted my head, looking up at the ceiling, eyeing a huge Uchiwa painted there. But, besides that, I think it might be a safe bet to assume that things might be very different than cannon already. I couldn't just assume I was alone here in this world, or that this was the original and not some crazy alternate universe. Whatever choices I made would benefit from being a ninja wizard, so that was my top priority at the moment.

Other than that, I would just go with the flow. Get to S rank, then use my power to shred the original plot to ribbons. I would make a list of my plans later, possibly in a frilly pink notebook. I nodded solemnly, yes, that would be fine for now. It's not like I was even training much yet, so I might as well study and try to master chakra control exercises, as well as Katas, so I could stomp all the other kiddies when I joined the academy. I scanned the room and skipped over to my bedside table to pick up a loose scrap of paper. Grinning, I felt for that tingly feeling in my gut that I've become aware of since I woke up here. Training was gonna be interesting, Afterall, at least it's not high school math.

~Cue one obsessive leaf/paper sticking montage later.~

"Nii-san!" the small boy called for his older brother, making Itachi look behind his shoulder from his spot on the porch to acknowledge him. "Otouto," Sasuke came to a stop next to his brother, breathing slightly labored and a look of triumph on his face. Itachi raised an eyebrow, his brother had been taking a nap for a few hours.

Wondering what got him so excited, Itachi indulged him. "What is it Sasuke?" Sasuke only grinned wider and reached into his pocket, pulling out a leaf. He placed it on his forehead, concentrated for a few seconds, and it stuck. Sasuke lowered his hands slowly, biting his lip in concentration. "Itachi-nii, look at what I can do." Itachi's eyes widened slightly, surprised that Sasuke had already gotten a handle on the leaf exercise before joining the academy.

Sasuke giggled and did a little spin, the leaf still sticking to his head. Itachi stood and ruffled Sasuke's hair, making him groan and drop the leaf. "Itachi!" He said with a pout, making a flicker of a smile appear on Itachi's face. It was gone when Itachi's expression wavered slightly. Mulling over the thought that Sasuke was learning so quickly.

"Foolish Otouto. The academy isn't going anywhere." He said lightheartedly, poking Sasuke's forehead. Sasuke whispered something under his breath, akin to 'The weasel poke.' if Itachi wasn't mistaken.

"I know Itachi-nii, it's just that I want to get a headstart on my training so I can become a great ninja," Sasuke explained while rubbing his head slightly, Itachi chuckled. "There's plenty of time Otouto."

Later; That Night

Once everyone was asleep, I snuck out of my room and to Itachi's, footsteps silent. Despite not being exactly Sasuke, hah, what a joke. Some cosmic force kicked him out and dropped me into his body with only a handful of memories and feelings to avoid a cozy trip to TIA. They filled me with warmth, love towards my new family, and of course, Itachi. Itachi was already one of my favorite characters and considering my unique situation, I seem to have developed an attachment to him. I trust him, despite literally knowing him for a few hours at best.

Strangely, I felt that I was both part Sasuke; the endearing and loving younger brother, and my previous self. Honestly, at this point, I'm not even sure if the 'real' Sasuke is gone or not. Or maybe I actually am destined to be reincarnated as him but the higher powers fucked up and I remember a past life. Whatever the case, I'm gonna enjoy this second childhood as much as possible, before the massacre happens and strips whatever remained of my innocence away. I hovered outside of his door, debating on whether or not to actually go in. I knew that Sasuke- I, would sometimes have nightmares and sneak into Itachi's bed for comfort.

In my previous life, I was a very affectionate person, and I'll give the clan hell if they try to stop me from showing my new family strange affections. I was going to change everyone's opinions about me really quick but decided that for now I had Itachi, and it was already long overdue for some good ole' PDA. Well, if you count in his bedroom at night a public display of affection. I mean, yeah, I clung to him when I finally found him after I woke up, but still.

Besides all that, I hate being alone, and waking up in a previously-thought fictional world doesn't help my lacking mental stability. I slid open the door cautiously and slowly, tiptoeing into the room. Surprisingly, Itachi looked asleep, until he shifted in his sheets and opened his eyes slowly to meet my gaze. "Nii-san, I don't want to sleep alone…" I said quietly, my voice cracking on its own accord. Tears pricked my eyes, damn kiddy lack of emotional control.

Of course, I really felt like crying because of the recent stress of everything. I was trapped here at least until I died again, and then everything about this world being as cruel as it is, well, it's not like I don't realize what I'm going to do will probably kill me. But screw that shit, I'll do what I want. I'll flip off Konoha soon enough when I eventually leave with Orochimaru anyway, or the Akatsuki, whichever comes to pass. Itachi sighed, before lifting the covers with one hand.

Taking that as an invitation, I stumbled over to his bed in the dark and crawled in, latching onto Itachi's side like a Koala. "Go to sleep Otouto," He mumbled, settling back into the covers.

"Mkay," I mumbled tiredly into his side, suppressing a smirk at my victory. He just sighed again then it went quiet, with nothing but the sound of our breathing. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off, but not before catching a quiet whisper.

"I love you Sasuke."

I smiled against him, breathing out a content sigh, "I love you too." I mumbled.

I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I wasn't the Sasuke he knew yesterday.

Day 3

I sat in my room on the floor, trying to hold leaves on all my fingers, and utterly failing. To stick them to any part of your body, required decent chakra control, something which I just started developing two days ago. Controlling a steady stream of chakra that wasn't too little(else it wouldn't work), and not too much(it would push it off. Hmm, I just thought of something. What if someone used chakra control to cover their unmentionables while they wore scandalous clothing? So it required your control to be second nature else you'd expose yourself to the whole world. Do ninja do that sort of thing? That thought made me chuckle, maybe I would try it sometime when I was older, behind closed doors of course. I don't think literally anyone except my future fangirls would enjoy that.

I cringed, ah yes, fangirls. I internally shrugged. Whatever, if they try anything I'd chase them off. Genjutsu, brute force, or both.

Gender equality for the win.

Now that I was Sasuke it would only be a matter of time before Ino and Sakura drove me suicidal. Unless I conditioned them early on? That might work. Wait, no, I'm getting off track. Picking up the leaves again, I tried holding them to my hand. I could only make at most three stick but it required a fair bit of concentration. I only managed to do it a little while on my first day here because ninja stuff is my new obsession, and I already knew a buttload of knowledge to let me get the gist of it. I could only hold the leaves about maybe thirty-seconds before I got too tired. I wouldn't say that's amazing, but for someone who never used chakra before that, it was an impressive milestone. Of course, I also had a little help from my new memories, but still, I would say I'm extraordinarily awesome.

It's kind of ironic how well I fit into this clan. Huge ego, slight superiority complex, and of course the ability to maintain 'The Uchiha face of absolute neutrality with a hint of smugness™'. I'll say this now, it comes to me so naturally, I'm actually kind of scared. I rubbed my chin in thought, maybe I could make a field guide about the clans in Konoha, and have it published under a codename. Just to piss off all the stuck-up elders.

I felt a grin creeping onto my face at that idea. It would be my first evil plan under my new Evil Organisation. I haven't thought of a name for it yet, but I would recruit any friends I make, as well as try to steal some Akatsuki members. Unless I ended up joining their group of course, which would only make it easier to undermine them.

I was interrupted from my dark musings as the door slid open and my mother stuck her head in. "Sasuke-kun, breakfast is ready," Mikoto said softly with a small smile at her youngest son. "Ok, coming Kaa-chan." I stood up and pocketed the leaves, following my mother into our dining room. Fukaku and Itachi were already sitting at the table waiting for us to join them. I slid into the seat beside Itachi, and mother sat next to father. I felt my face beginning to fall but willed it to become a mask of neutrality.

I will never see my old parents again.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shifted my face again into a relaxed and carefree expression that kids this age are supposed to wear. Fukaku took a long sip of his tea, before attempting to make idle conversation. "So Itachi, you have a break from missions for a week?" Itachi nodded, "There's enough other Chunin on call at the moment to afford it."

Fukaku made a grunting sound(hn).

I stared at them awkwardly, coughing a little into my hand. Both of them suck at small talk. My mother clapped her hands together suddenly, startling them out of their staring. "Itachi-kun, why don't you take Sasuke-kun out into the village? I'm sure a little break is in order. If I didn't force you boys out you'd just be training all the time!" Itachi finished his tea and stood slowly. "Yes, Okāsan." He bowed his head, then his gaze flickered over to me. I took this chance to join him and cling to his arm. I'm really going to enjoy doing all these cute things with this face. I chuckled internally, twirling an imaginary mustache. I'm really going to master my persuasion skills in no time.

Speech 100.

Itachi and I walked down the crowded streets, with me holding onto his arm the whole time. I could tell that he didn't really mind, which pleased me. Oh yes big brother, you will grow used to my overly affectionate nature.

...

Mind, get the hell out of the gutter!

I giggled to myself, chancing a glance up at my brother. Itachi seemed to be spacing out, which was to say, unusual for him. We turned another corner and saw a small dango shop, and I saw Itachi's whole demeanor changed to one of longing. I rolled my eyes with a small smile. Itachi was obsessed with the stuff. Having this new body and memories have surprisingly affected my outlook on sweet things since I died. I don't care for them anymore, which is strange but not at all surprising, considering Sasuke hated them.

I beamed up at a daydreaming Itachi, letting him lead us to the stand and take a seat.

While Itachi ordered a plate of dango for himself, I was surprised to see Shikamaru and Choji approaching from the opposite direction. I caught Shikamaru's eyes and smiled at him, then waved for him to come over. He hesitated for a moment, before sauntering over with a bored expression on his face. I held in my squeals and the urge to hug him. Seeing the two of the Rookie 9 as little children is just… adorable. I have to keep my composure though. I would consider this practice for my world domination speech. That's about the time I have to put on my 'serious face' to make people like Obi-Tobi take me as a threat, oh, and some crazy powerful shinobi on my side as well.

"Hi, you look around my age, wanna be friends?" I pulled out my adorable grin with matching eyes that could melt the skin off of a biji. Wait, aren't they just sentient chakra.

"What a drag," Shikamaru muttered, before shrugging. "Sure, I don't mind." Perfect, and where Shikamaru goes Choji will follow. That's his English phrase, right? Isn't it 'how troublesome?'. This is a bit confusing, I thought we were in the Japanese version, I mean, I can feel myself literally speaking the language. I suppose I could still speak English if I wanted though. I never really followed the anime enough to tell the difference. A lot of my knowledge is from fanfictions, which probably isn't reliable. It's a good thing that Sasuke already knew it well enough so I wouldn't have the trouble of learning another language. I think I'd lose my patience and just use shinobi sign language if that were the case.

Jeez, when did I become Sasori?

"Do you want to hang out at the park sometime? We could just relax and talk if you want." I suggested happily. One day I would turn all the rookie 9 into my minions, one day… Shikamaru shrugged again, yawning. "Sounds good, I go there already to get away from my mother. She keeps nagging me and it's such a drag." I nodded, sympathizing with him. "Oh, I didn't catch your name. Mine's Uchiha Sasuke!" Shikamaru only nodded, "Yeah, I figured. Considering your looks and the guy you're sitting next to." Shikamaru waved at Choji, who was just standing back shyly. "This is Akimichi Choji, and I'm Nara Shikamaru." I only smiled, "Well, it was nice to meet you both." Shikamaru started to turn to leave, "Likewise." I noticed through the whole exchange Itachi just ate his dango, silently observing. When they left he turned to me with a small smile on his face. I guessed it would've been harder to make friends since the Uchiha were blamed for the Kyuubi attack and all, and it seems that Itachi had that same train of thought. Of course, I was supposed to be oblivious, so I only beamed at my older brother.

"I made some new friends!" I exclaimed, grasping his bigger hand in my slightly pudgy, childlike one. He only smiled softly, and replied with, "That's good Otouto."

Omake; Another world? Drabble.

I stared at… the other Sasuke, blinking slowly. My Itachi- and the other looked to be on the defensive; they looked pretty tense. Well, I guess I'd be too if another version of me and my brother suddenly appeared in the training field we were occupying. I held up my hands, "We come in peace." the attention shifted to me, and I coughed awkwardly. "So, like… Me and Itachi- we found this weird scroll buried really deep in the clan library. And, well, it looked like it hadn't seen the light of day for years, so I… used it? And now we're here? In another… dimension, probably." the other Itachi seemed to process this, before turning to the other- I mean mine. "If you were imposters, you're pretty accurate ones…"

My brother shrugged, "I'm not exactly certain how we found ourselves here either, but Sasuke's explanation is true." I nodded along, turning to the other me- who was staring into my face in awe. Tilting my head, I smirked, "Are you that fascinated by your reflection every morning?" he pouted, crossing his arms, "You don't have to be rude." Both of the Itachi's watched this exchange in amusement, even smiling lightly when I responded, "Tch, I'm yourself, dummy,(Well, not really- but no one has to know that-) anything you don't like about me is something you don't like about yourself, and vice-versa."

Scowling, he "Hned," and turned his head to the side, making me snicker. My Itachi turned to the other, "I'm not sure how long we'll be here-"

"According to the scroll, an hour." I cut in, then rubbed my chin in thought. "We need something to distinguish ourselves from… each other." Yeah.. coincidentally, both of our groups wore the same clothes and didn't have any different defining features besides my personality different from the other Sasuke. The other Itachi pulled a pen out of his pocket, offering it to mine, "You could mark yourselves with this pen." was his quiet suggestion.

Itachi nodded in thanks, and made a small 'x' on his hand, reaching over and drawing one on mine as well. My older brother from the same mother took his pen back with a small smile.

Sasuke looked between the two of them, before voicing, "So I have two Itachi-nii's now?" I shot him a look, "Don't you mean 'we'? Technically, we are all related even despite the circumstances..."

All of us expressed indifference, shrugging.

"It would be unwise for anyone else to find out about this." The other Itachi put in softly, mine nodding in agreement. I made a noise of contemplation, "We could play some games until the timer runs out."

X-Sasuke pouted when he lost the game of Rock-paper-kunai to Sasuke, the latter smirking at his loss. X-Itachi sat beside his twin, watching the two Sasukes running around, trying to beat the other at something. Itachi sighed, eyes softening at the sight, "Our worlds seem to be the same in that aspect." he murmured. X-Itachi nodded, thinking the same thing. Suddenly, light started enveloping the two brothers, making Sasuke stop and share a look with the other. The glowing Sasuke chuckled, holding out a fist for the other to bump, then smiled at his two older brothers. "Guess this is goodbye."

The two glowing brothers stood next to each other, waving a goodbye to their counterparts, before disappearing just as they came. Sasuke looked up at his brother with a questioning look. "Do you think we'll see them again?" he asked, making Itachi smile slightly. "Perhaps. Who knows how both of our worlds will develop. Maybe one day they will come back to visit. Until then…" He ruffled Sasuke's hair, making the younger Uchiha pout. "Let's go eat dinner. Okaa-san is probably waiting for us."

Sasuke grinned, taking his hand, "Alright!" he laughed.

"Somebody told me I'm a failure, I'll prove them wrong." -Naruto

"It's not the face that makes someone a monster, it's the choices they make with their lives." -Naruto

Keep in mind that Sasuke only knows as much about the Naruto plot and storyline that I did when I started this, so when I look up things to keep everything accurate(which I don't always do so... let's just pretend this is... good.), Sasuke didn't know that previously, or just the gist of it in a nutshell.