As they sat talking and waiting for the beginning of the crisis that he seemed to be destined to disappear in. Barry listened to what his friends, his family had to say. Memories both good and bad. But the one that made him tear up was Caitlin. He thought about her words and what she said.

"You know, when you first came into my life, I had lost faith in just about everything. You saved my life, Barry."

The words rattled around in his head. He wanted to know what she meant. He didn't think it was referring to that time in the pipeline where he challenged her to kill him and live up to the name Killer Frost. It seemed to him she was saying just coming into her life saved it. If that was the case he hoped she hadn't been thinking about doing what he was thinking. He didn't want to think of a world where there was no form of Caitlin Snow, even if it was a cold hearted killer meta like the one he met on Earth-2. Sure he hadn't found a Caitlin Snow on Earth-38 but that didn't mean she didn't exist. On that earth maybe she had her happy ending with Ronnie. He never thought to look for her that way. Or maybe she had existed and died before he arrived. But looking at his Caitlin, because that is how he thought of her. Even when Frost was in control, she was still his Caitlin. His best friend, someone who would stand by him even when he screwed up. Heck that is why Frost joined Savitar. She found out he was a form of Barry. He wanted to pull her to the side and ask her about what she meant. But that wasn't going to happen. He looked at his watch. As the hands struck midnight the sky turned red as the anti matter slowly made it's way closer to their part of the multiverse. There was no time now to talk to Caitlin about what she had said. He had to wonder if Cisco had known about what he thinking about Caitlin. But he couldn't ask him either. He now had to find away to live through this crisis, to not disappear forever.

Barry groaned as he woke up in the med bay of the Waverider. He looked over to see Caitlin sitting next to his bed still dressed in Frost's suit. Or was it Cisco's suit that Frost was aloud to wear, like the Flash suit? He moved his hand and gently brushed her hand. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Hey." Said Barry

"Hey, look you are still here." Said Caitlin

"Yeah. Thawne?"

"Gone, the speed force sucked him up. Time wraiths I think."

"Not what was left of Zoom?"

"Savitar, had Frost kill him."

"I forgot. Cait, there is something we need to talk about."

"Uh you know what the others should know you are awake. Kara and Iris have been really worried. You know since Oliver died and Kara lost the last bit of her home. Gideon will you tell the others that Barry is awake?"

"Of course Dr. Snow."

"Belay that Gideon. Caitlin and I are going to talk first." Said Barry

"As you wish Mr. Allen."

"There is nothing to talk about." Said Caitlin

"Yes there is. I didn't have a chance to get you alone to ask before the crisis started. If Dr. Well, or Thawne whoever he was hadn't had me brought to STAR Labs after I was hit by lightning were you thinking of killing yourself?"

Caitlin didn't respond and wouldn't look at him.

"Answer me please?"

"If I hadn't gotten the call that I almost didn't answer I was going to cut my wrists. I was in such a dark place, darker then I was as Killer Frost. I had lost nearly everything. I felt my career was over when it had barely begun. I believed the man I wanted to spend my life with was dead. But I couldn't pull myself out of that dark place. That phone call bringing you into my life saved it. You became my hero with that one call. Barry, I wouldn't change anything that happened since then. Not the times I was kidnapped, not the trauma that Zoom put me through. Not even becoming Killer Frost, or fighting Nazis from another Earth at your wedding."

"Cait, promise me something. No matter what is to come. If I ever do disappear or haven forbid die. Promise me that you will go on living. That you will think about the good times."

"I promise. I already made that promise to myself. What good times to you suggest I think about?"

"Well I always think about my favorite."

"What would that be Mr. Allen?"

"Summer lovin...had me a blast."

"That is still like the only thing I remember from that night! Gideon tell the others now!"

"Very well Dr. Snow."

Barry smiled at his best friend and personal physician. Caitlin gave Barry a smile and headed out to give the others time with him. The crisis was over. In a few days they would gather to say goodbye to Oliver. But none of their lives would ever be the same.

The End.