A Compromising Position

By theanonymouslibrarians

Note: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean, the Jack Sparrow books, or any merchandise or characters in the franchise. The quotes that Jack attributes to Fitzy and Admiral Norrington are from Robb Kidd's books (Dance of the Hours and Sins of the Father, specifically). I'm not writing this for profit.

It wasn't fair, Jack thought. He'd spent his younger years in a less than ideal environment due to the fact that the Man-Who-Might-Be-Dad was a pirate. He'd run away from that man, formed a crew of his own, and then lost that crew due to pirates. Now, Jack was being hunted by pirates. Not because of anything Jack had done, but because said pirate (Cotton John by name, although bloody stupid name if you asked Jack) held a grudge against the Man-Who-Might-Be-Dad. Jack had tried hiding in the inn, but naturally the pirates had found him there. He'd tried hiding behind stands in the market place, but most of the sellers thought Jack was trying to steal from them and had loudly shooed him away, calling attention to him. Jack thought he might have been able to lie low in the church, but that was on the opposite side of the port, and Jack wasn't sure if he could make it without getting caught. So, he'd gone for the next best place. There was a rather large manor house on the island. Pirates wouldn't go near it unless they were planning to attack the entire port, and John didn't have the force for that. A full-grown pirate wouldn't be able to slip in unnoticed, but a rough looking child, a cook's scullion, perhaps...

The guards hadn't given him much trouble, and once inside, Jack had managed to slip into an empty room. Now, after several hours of evading the enemy, Jack reckoned that it would be safe for him to leave. Only one look into the corridor had revealed that this would be infinitely more complicated than sneaking in. Whereas before the corridors had been empty, now they were swamped with servants bustling to and fro. A glance out the window had shown Jack that he'd have no better luck climbing down. Outside, carriages were arriving, ushering well-dressed aristocrats to the mansion. Some type of ball or something Jack supposed.

Frustrated, Jack turned away. What he needed was some way to get out unnoticed. A way to blend in, either as a servant or a guest. His eyes fell on the wardrobe, and he grinned. A disguise! He went to the wooden cabinet, threw open the doors...and his grin faltered. Dresses! This was a girl's room! Oh well, he rallied. It wasn't as if he'd never worn a dress before. He could pull it off rather well, he thought.

Fifteen minutes later, the door to the bedroom opened, and a rather stunning young woman (if Jack did say so himself) walked out. Servants nodded at him respectfully as he passed. He made his way toward where he remembered a side door was...and came to a room full of rich-looking well-dressed people chatting and sipping drinks from crystal glasses.

Jack paused. As confident as he was in his ability to disguise himself, could he really fool a crowd of people who were famous for picking out the slightest oddity in others and using it against them? Well, he had to get out somehow, and no one had looked up at him yet. Plastering what he hoped was a coquettish smile on his face, Jack entered the room. He nodded at handsome beaux and accepted champagne from a servant. All the while, he headed in the direction of the door, trying not to run or to walk too slowly. He was beginning to think that all would go well, when his eyes met a familiar pair in the crowd.

Fitzwilliam P. Dalton III stood next to a brown-haired young man. Both were dressed in their blue and white regalia. Fitzy had grown a bit taller since Jack had last seen him, but Jack would know him anywhere. Good old Fitzy. For a moment, Jack hoped that his disguise had worked. But then the son of the Earl of Dalton's eyes widened. In another moment, he'd be opening his mouth and calling the whole room's attention to Jack.

Thinking fast, Jack darted forward, "Fitzy!" He cried in a falsetto. "Has it been a year already?"

"Wha-"

Jack gripped Fitzy's arm tightly and propelled him toward a door to the left. "Oh, we have so much to catch up on!"

All Jack needed was to have this argument away from prying eyes. He opened the door and dragged Fitzy into what appeared to be a small library. It had been over a year since Jack had last seen Fitzwilliam P. Dalton III. The last time they'd met, Fitzwilliam had betrayed Jack. Jack had been furious enough to kill Fitzy at that moment, but the Man-Who-Might-Be-Dad had stayed Jack's hand. Jack couldn't say whether he regretted the missed opportunity, but at the very least, time had lessened his rage, dulling it so that it was more hurt than anything else.

"Now-" But Jack found himself swung around, and suddenly it was Fitzy who was propelling him until Jack's back hit the wall.

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?!" Fitzwilliam P. Dalton III hissed, leaning in about an inch from Jack's face.

"I could ask you the same question!" Jack said defiantly.

"I was invited here. You, on the other hand, most certainly weren't."

"Can't I visit an old mate?"

"You and I are not friends."

"No." Jack snapped. "You made sure of that!" He paused a moment and then decided that honesty might be the best policy. "I was being hunted by a group of pirates. This was the only place I could find that they wouldn't follow me."

Fitzwilliam laughed. "A likely story!"

"It's true!" Jack cried indignantly.

"I find it more likely that you broke in here to steal the silverware!"

"I'm no thief, Fitzy. You know that."

"No. You're something worse. You're a pirate."

"Am not!" That was too much. "I'm not a pirate, and I'm not a thief. Name one thing I stole!"

"Captain Torrents's bag!"

"That was a mistake!"

"My timepiece!"

"I was borrowing it! And anyway, it ended up being cursed! Look," Jack sighed, "I'm not saying I've never done anything wrong in my life, although I clearly haven't, but the point is that when we met, I was running away from Shipwreck Cove to start a new life."

"I don't-"

"And now, even after an experience that would turn any honest sailor against the royal navy...a betrayal by a certain aristocrat! Ahem, I remain dedicated to leading an honest life."

"By breaking into peoples' houses." Fitzy pointed out.

"A crime which sadly I was forced to commit by a black-hearted ruffian. Thankfully, I have encountered an old...crew member who is in my debt and will be all too eager to escort me to the door so that I can leave this godforsaken port."

"Your debt!" Fitzwilliam gave a bark of laughter, and Jack flinched. There was a harsh edge to it that Jack had only heard the last time he had seen Fitzy. Jack had to remind himself that he was on somewhat unfamiliar ground here. The Fitzy Jack had known had been a disguise, but...well, there had to be some truth behind the façade, didn't there? "How am I in your debt?"

"I saved your life, Fitzy. Several times over." Jack explained, hoping that there was a speck of honor in this Fitzwilliam.

"As I remember, you were often the one who endangered it! And I've saved your life, too, so I'd say we're square."

"I saved your cousin's life!" Jack remembered the panic in Fitzwilliam's voice when the little boy had fallen overboard. Technically Teague had saved the boy, but Jack was hoping that if Fitzy remembered this, the young man would transfer the debt to Teagues son.

Fitzwilliam didn't reply to this, but something flickered in his eyes.

"You owe me, Fitzy!" Jack pressed.

"If I just let-"

The door opened, and Jack looked over Fitzwilliam's shoulder to see a pale young woman in a dark green dress standing in the doorway. "Fitzwilliam? Arthur said that he'd seen-" She stopped midsentence when she saw Fitzwilliam pinning Jack to the wall. Her blue eyes widened as she looked from Fitzwilliam to Jack and back to Fitzwilliam again.

"Just getting...reacquainted with an old friend!" Jack told her in his falsetto and winked, figuring that this would be the easiest way to get her to leave.

And it was. Tears filling her eyes, face scrunching up, she turned and dashed from the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Susan! Wait!" Fitzwilliam called, letting go of Jack and taking a step after the girl. But the door slammed behind her. For a moment, Jack thought that the young lord would go after her, but he stayed where he was.

"Who was that?" Jack asked.

Fitzwilliam turned back to him, a frustrated look on his face. "My fiancée."

"The same one you ran away to avoid marrying?"

"Yes."

"So? I thought you didn't want to marry her. Or was that a lie too?"

"It wasn't a lie." Fitzwilliam snapped, folding his hands behind his back and starting to pace. "And I don't want to marry her. But that doesn't mean...she'll think..."

Jack shrugged. "Oh well. Maybe you won't need to marry her now. If she tells her father that she found you in rather close proximity to a most beautiful lass..."

Fitzwilliam actually laughed at this. "Your beauty leaves something to be desired. Mind," he stopped pacing and scrutinized Jack, "I doubt your disguise would fool many people up close."

"Did fool everyone I passed! Before you!"

"I could turn you in. Some of the most respected members of the British aristocracy are here tonight."

"But you owe me, Fitzy."

"You've put me in a very awkward position, Jack. Personal desires about the relationship aside, if Susan's father were to spread rumors about my conduct...""

"And it's for that very reason that you should let me go." Fitzwilliam looked at Jack curiously, so Jack explained. "Right now, your dearest Susan is no doubt telling her father that you were...ahem...wooing another young lady. But if you turn me in, then you'd need to explain why you were in a compromising position with a member of the same sex, the son of a pirate no less!"

This whole night was worth it just to see Fitzy splutter.

"And," Jack continued smirking, "one which you spent quite a lot of time with. And who conveniently managed to escape the Navy's grasp..."

"You...I...we..."

Jack sighed and walked forward to clap Fitzy on the shoulder. "I've missed you, love, but I don't think it's in either of our interests for me to be introduced to your father, do you?"

Fitzwilliam jerked away from him. "Jack! Do you know what they do to people accused of...well..."

"I do, mate." Jack said seriously." And I have to say, pirates aren't half so cruel as the British aristocracy in that respect."

"We're not-"

"No? You're more terrified of being accused of an attraction to men than you were of facing Davy Jones himself. And the last time we met, you were all for killing children for the sins of their fathers."

"That's not-"

"No? 'You and your dear daddy will both perish at the hands of the Royal Navy.'" Jack hadn't known how much those words had hurt him...maybe hadn't allowed himself to know...until they came tumbling out of his mouth.

Fitzwilliam flinched as his own words were echoed back to him. "It wasn't like you-"

"And what was it your Uncle said to your darling little cousin?" Jack continued.

Fitzwilliam didn't answer.

"'Saved by a pirate, James! You stupid brat. You should have let yourself drown boy.' A child! Oh, it's a fine lot you've thrown yourself in with, Fitzy. I don't blame you for not wanting to give them a reason to sink their claws into you."

"They wouldn't...I don't...if I had..."

"I don't want to hear it, Fitzy. Now, what will it be? Will you help me, or are we going to explain to your father why your-"

"Fine." There was both defeat and anger in Fitzy's voice. "Leave."

"You'll escort me to the door?"

"Don't press your-"

"If I walk out that door, how am I to know that you won't change your mind?"

"You've arranged things...oh, fine." Fitzy held out his elbow to Jack, who glared at it suspiciously. "If we're to continue this charade, we might as well do this properly."

Seeing the sense in this, Jack took Fitzwilliam's arm and let the aristocrat guide him out into the crowd. Jack plastered a smile onto his face as they made their way through the partiers. Across the hall, Jack could see a distraught Susan talking to an older man who was glaring at them. Jack waggled his fingers at the man, never letting his grin slip. He felt bad for the young lass, but well, wouldn't it be better if she didn't marry someone who didn't love her?

"My reputation will be ruined." Fitzwilliam muttered out of the corner of his mouth as they approached the front door.

"But you won't need to marry lovely Susan." Jack countered.

"No, but my father won't be happy."

Jack was about to counter with a remark about how Fitzwilliam shouldn't expect sympathy from the boy he'd tried to kill but thought better of it. He could save his quips for a time when he didn't need Fitzy's help. Speaking of which..."You know what might save your reputation? If you were to arrest a group of real pirates."

The corners of Fitzy's mouth twitched. "Why, Jack, are you offering yourself up?"

"Don't be stupid. You know I'm not a pirate, Fitzy." Before Fitzy could argue, Jack continued. "But I wasn't lying when I said that I was hiding from some. These are...well, just about as bad a lot of pirates as you can get. Rape. Murder. Slavery. There's no crime they haven't committed. Cotton John's the name of their captain. Ah!" He said, as Fitzy's eyes widened. "You recognize his name. Well, I can't say whether or not he's still on the island, but I'm willing to bet that if you went down to the docks...he'll probably have covered the name of the ship, but large Spanish galleon like that? And even someone as terrible at identifying pirates as you would be able to tell that these seamen are up to no good."

Excitement filled the young aristocrat's eyes, followed by a hint of distrust. "Jack...if you're lying..."

"Why would I lie? Go see for yourself!" They were at the door now, and Fitzwilliam's eyes flickered back into the room, no doubt considering how long it would take him to fetch a sword or enlist the help of some higher-ranking officials. "I'll just see myself out." Jack turned to go, but Fitzy grabbed his arm tightly.

"Jack..." Fitzwilliam said, and now there was something hard in his eyes. "We're even now, do you understand? The next time we meet there won't be anything to stop me from bringing you to justice."

"Justice is a funny word for it." Jack laughed humorlessly. "I understand, alright, but don't be so certain it won't be me that gets the better of you, savvy?" Pulling his arm loose, Jack put a hand to his head to tip his hat, only to remember that he no longer wore one. He turned, hoisted his skirts, and made his way out into the gardens.

Once he was past the gates, Jack ran as fast as he could to the docks, not entirely trusting that Fitzy wouldn't double cross him. Within an hour the port was just a speck on the horizon.