Steven was having semi-pleasant dreams, up until he feels something constricting his chest. He gasps, struggling desperately to get air in his lungs. Steven feels he's about to pass out when suddenly the tightness disappears, as he takes quick gulps of breath. He opens his eyes, finally taking in his surroundings. He was still in his house, thank God, so he hasn't been captured or something similar. He quickly scans the place for any intruders, until he glances down to see a bendy pink arm loosely wrapped around him.

Oh.

"Spinel?" He asks, cautious. She gets like this, sometimes. Paranoid. So worried about abandonment that she's blind to everything else. Every since Spinel decided to stay, it seems like she's formed some weird dependency on Steven. Like she couldn't live without. Steven didn't admit it out loud, he find it a little creepy at times how far she would go for his attention. He honestly wonders if it's because he's Pink Diamond's son. Or maybe-

Spinel shifts behind him, causing Steven's train of thought to crash and burn. He shifts, to where he is laying across from her, to where Steven can see Spinel face to face. Her eyes are tear-filled. She looks plain miserable.

"I...I tried sleepin.'" Steven raises his eyebrows. Spinel never really seemed to be interested in human things; she seemed pretty content with her gem-ness. Now that he thought about it, Amethyst probably peer pressured her into it. "And...I dreamed. Um." She stops, scans Steven's face for...something. Steven cocks his head, doing the same, though he knows what he's looking for. He's trying to if this is just some Gem issues. Worry over having her own thoughts. For going out of line. But he really doubts it's that.

He wants to ask if she's okay, but she starts speaking again. "I was still in the garden. I-I...never left. Even after I saw your message. I stayed. Because I thought she would still come back. A-and then...then...my b-body began to rot. Fall apart. And IcouldntstopitIwassopathetic-"

"Spinel! Hey, hey..." Steven reaches out, gently places his hand on her cheek. Spinel looks exhausted, like the weight of it just comes crashing down on her at once. She starts bawling, tears rushing down her face and onto Steven's hand and the covers below. So it was trauma, then. He sighs, pulling the crying gem in front of him to his chest, where she continues to let everything out.

Steven admits, he has trouble with this kinda stuff. After all, during the dismantling of the Diamonds' colonies, Connie had put herself in charge of helping gems with their issues. She had devoured books on trauma, therapy, mental health. Enough to where she was confident enough to put it into practice. Connie had talked to Steven about it, talking to Steven about what language to use and and how to help the gems cope with the sudden change and all the trauma that came with the wars and their daily lives. It had helped Steven, too, as he had a list of problems that was quite long. It all helped, but Steven still felt he wasn't getting anywhere. Like he was just running in circles. And while Connie did everything she could-including a relationship, one Steven tried his hardest to keep up and one Connie put too much into-Steven was still stuck in this rut of self-loathing that he couldn't seem to get out of. He was happy, but not in the permanent sense.

Spinel's crying has lessened, mostly down to wheezy sobs at this point, as pulls back to stare at Steven. It's intense. Steven squirms under the gaze, wondering what what's going through her head at the moment. She leans forward closer, Steven's still trying to process that movement when suddenly-

She's kissing him.

Steven is more confused now, as Spinel begins to deep the kiss. He grabs her shoulders, pushing her gently off. "Where did you-"

"That stupid human show that Peridot and Lapis watch. They tried to get me to join their cult." Spinel interrupts.

Ah. "But...why?"

"If a human wants to be with another human, they do that right? So they don't leave?"

"Not...exactly, no." Spinel blinks, then looks frustrated, and on the verge of tears again. Oh God.

"You're not gonna leave me, right?" And Spinel's looking at him, downright pathetic, like Steven was going to abandon her at any moment.

"Of course not," And really, he hopes it's the truth.

As soon as the words left his mouth, Spinel moves fast, pushing Steven down to the bed, pinning his wrists. A noise of protest rises up his throat, but is quickly swallowed by Spinel pressing her mouth to his. Steven keeps his mouth firmly shut, but apparently she's having none of that, as she uses one of her legs to rub against the front of Steven's pajamas. He lets out a small gasp, and Spinel takes the opportunity to slip her tongue inside his mouth.

Okay, Steven can be honest with himself, he's never gone this far with anyone. When he was dating Connie, they only held hands and kissed. Connie didn't really seem to be interested in anything sexual. He had also kissed Peedee at Christmas party once, but that was it. Nothing under the belt. But here Spinel was, just exploring his mouth with her tongue. And he wasn't going to reciprocate. Really. But then she slid her tongue under his just right, and Steven might have let a quiet moan. Maybe.

Spinel pulls back, honest to god smirks, then resumes the process of invading his mouth.

They went at this for about an hour, breaking only for a little bit to let Steven breath. At some points, he could feel drool running down his chin, but he didn't care at that point. By the time the two parted for good, there was a small wet spot on Steven's bed, and Steven's mouth felt...weird. Tingly.

Spinel smiles contently, plopping back down into the bed. Steven feels lightheaded, tired, so he lays beside her, not finding the strength (or resolve) to tell to go. Steven doesn't know when he falls asleep, but if he had stayed up a little longer, he would have seen Spinel just. Stare at him. He would've hear her whisper,

"Mine, mine, mine."