The Titans were a family again (for now.) That was great. But everything felt different now, not bad different, just a little off maybe. It was probably because everyone was grieving the loss of Donna, Rachel included. They were all a little distant with each other at the moment. That was fine, Rachel expected that. But in recent days the one person that caught her attention (for all the wrong reasons) was Gar. He liked to take time for himself occasionally, to play videos and all that. Nothing out of the ordinary there. What troubled her was that this was the fourth day in a row he hadn't come out of his room. Something was wrong, she could almost feel it.

She had knocked on his door halfway through the second day and asked if he was alright. He said he was (he sounded fine too) and that he was just having trouble defeating a particular "boss" in whatever game he was playing. She was relieved to say the least. She chuckled, wished him good luck and let him be. Nothing felt off or wrong then. He really did sound normal.

But now she couldn't stand not seeing Gar any longer. It just wasn't normal. He was always around, cracking jokes, making coffee and annoying the shit out of her. She missed him. This nagging feeling in her gut kept getting stronger, something with him wasn't right. He wasn't right, maybe? She couldn't take it any longer, if he didn't invite her in this time, she would smash the door off its hinges.

She knocked on the door, quietly at first. "Gar?"

She couldn't hear any noise coming from the room. What was he doing?

"Gar, can I come in?"

Still silence. As she was getting ready to summon her powers to smash her way in, she heard the door handle turn and it creaked open slightly. Gar was on the other side, peaking through the crack at her.

"Hey Rachel." His voice cracked a little, like maybe he'd been sleeping. He cleared his throat. "What's up?

"Can I come in please?" She asked.

She didn't care if he tried to deny it. Something was up. She could feel all the emotions rolling off him. Sadness, anger, confusion and something else. It almost felt like nothing. Like emptiness.

That scared her.

"Um…" He was looking for an excuse to say no, she could tell.

She didn't give him a chance to answer, she pushed her way into the room and walked right past him.

"Sure, come right in." He said sarcastically and closed the door.

"Are you OK?" She asked quietly.

She knew he wasn't, but she had to start somewhere. He would say he was, of course. But she knew better, she wouldn't leave until she knew for sure he was OK.

He nodded several times.

Ok great, he was lying to her now. Maybe he didn't want to worry her, she could understand that, but his behavior wasn't normal. If he didn't want her finding out, he really should have done a better job of hiding it. Maybe he could fool the other Titans, but not her.

"I know you're not." She said, taking a step towards him.

He was still standing by the door with his gaze directed away from hers. He looked like shit. His face gave away no emotion, but Rachel being Rachel could feel them. She wondered what he had been doing. Maybe he had been sleeping? But at 4:00 in the afternoon? The tv wasn't on and she couldn't seem to spot his laptop open anywhere. There were plates and mugs piled all around the room; on the tv cabinet, on the bed, next to the bed, on the floor. She wondered when he had come out to get anything to eat or drink. She hadn't seen him.

He didn't answer her or even acknowledge what she said. He stayed silent, just staring in one place, unfocused. Like his mind was elsewhere.

She took another few steps towards him, hoping her movement would snap him out of his thoughts. But mostly so she could hug him, it seemed like he needed it. That's what she told herself anyway. Maybe she needed it as well. She was almost at touchable distance when he seemed to snap out of his trance and quickly moved away from her, walking to the other side of the room.

That stung a little, but she knew he wasn't himself right now. She knew he wasn't trying to hurt her.

"Rachel, please can you just…" He ran a hand over his face. "I want to be alone for a while."

"You have been alone for a while!" She pointed out. "You've been in here for four days! How much longer do you need? I'm worried about you."

"You don't have to be, I'm fine."

She shook her head. "You're not, I can… I can feel that you're not. Just tell me what's going on, please."

She didn't like telling people when she could feel their emotions. They always got offended and told her it was an invasion of their privacy. It's not like she was seeking them out on purpose, she couldn't help it.

"Just go!" He almost growled.

"It's about Cadmus right?" She demanded. "What they did to you?"

She should've known really. You don't just go through something like that and forget or move on from it this quickly. It would've really scarred him. She almost hated herself in this moment for not working it out sooner.

He scoffed and went to say something, but nothing came out. He was silent and his mind was elsewhere again. They were both silent for a while. Rachel was staring at him, waiting for any sort of response. He continued to stare at nothing.

"I killed people." He finally said, his voice wavering a little.

"It wasn't your fault." She responded.

"It doesn't matter,Istill killed them." He said, hiding his face in his hands.

"The dumb bitch who was controlling you killed them." She said gently. "Not you Gar."

She saw his body start to shake and quiet sobs escaped him. She rushed to him immediately, this time he didn't move away. He let her wrap her arms around him gently. He didn't respond, with his hands still cradling his face. She didn't care, at least she could hold him. This was worse than she thought, she'd never seen him cry before. She hoped she never would. But it was a good thing in a way, she knew he needed to. He needed to let it all out. She was almost glad he could cry in front of her. In her mind, it meant he trusted her and could be vulnerable with her. She liked that.

After a minute he broke her hold of him, and she thought he was going to move away again. She dropped her arms and went to say something, but he surprised her by wrapping his arms around her waist and brought her into a proper hug. She responded straight away by wrapping hers around his neck.

She loved hugging him, although she wished it was under better circumstances. Just being close to him was enough, it was addicting. He gave great hugs.

He was still crying; she could feel his tears on her neck. She didn't mind.

"What if they can still control me?" He sobbed; voice muffled. "What if they come back and take me and make me kill people again? I can't do it Rachel; I can't do that again!"

She pulled back from him and cupped his face in her hands. It physically hurt to see him like this. His eyes were puffy, swollen and red. He looked awfully sad and broken. She wished she could change that. She really wanted to, but her company alone might not be enough. She honestly didn't know what to say to make him feel better. But she would try anyway.

"Do you honestly think any of us are gonna let them near you?" She demanded, wiping the fallen tears away.

Because seriously if any of them so much as looked at Gar, she would kill them all.

"No one's leaving Gar, we're all here." She said. "They will never do anything to you again. We won't let them."

He nodded, finally directing his gaze at hers. The tears had stopped, she noticed. That was a good sign, right? His emotions felt calmer now; not all over the place anymore. There was still sadness there of course, a simple hug couldn't cure that. But maybe with time, he would get better. She would try and help in any way she could. Always.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you." She said. "I should've been here; I could've done something."

He shrugged. "How were you supposed to know?"

"I should've been here." She stated firmly.

"I missed you a lot." He said, shooting her a small smile.

Her heart skipped a beat. She could feel how genuine his statement was. But she also knew he was trying to make her feel less guilty, by changing the subject. She would always regret not being here to help protect him. No matter what he said, it was partly her fault he had gone through this. She was so mad and upset with Dick, that she left no room for logical thought. She just needed to get away. Be away from these people. She hadn't given Gar a second thought and that was wrong. So wrong. She knew that now and she would never make that mistake again. These guys were her family.

"Me too." She said, feeling her cheeks heat up.

He gave her the first real smile she'd seen from him in a while. It was contagious.

They just stood there, only centimeters apart, smiling like idiots. There had always been some unspoken thing between them. Rachel had known for a while. She knew what he felt towards her. It was cheating in a way; he didn't know she could feel it from him. But she knew he felt it. She had noticed it gradually. She couldn't quite figure out what it was at first: this foreign feeling rolling off him whenever she was around. She figured it out eventually. It scared her at first. She had no experience with dating or even "liking" guys. But it was different with Gar. He never really acted on it, which she appreciated. He gave her time to feel the same way (that's how she thinks of it anyway.)

His eyes darted down to her lips and back up again.

He wanted to kiss her.

She gave him an encouraging smile and slowly leaned up to meet him.

As soon as it clicked in his head that she wanted this too, he quickly closed the gap and pressed his lips to hers. He kissed her gently, not quite knowing how to do this properly. But neither did she. She kissed him back anyway and brought her hands up to tangle through his hair.

He cupped her beautiful face, something he'd been dreaming of doing for a while now. Dreaming was nothing compared to reality. She was a good kisser, he noted. This was addicting. How did couples not do this all the time?

After a minute or so, Gar pulled back and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into another hug.

"Thanks Rachel." He said.

She chuckled. "For the kiss?"

He chuckled too. "Well, yeah, but also for checking on me. I guess I just let my thoughts get the better of me sometimes."

"Gar, I'll always be here for you."

He smiled, finally feeling a little happier than he had been in weeks. "Same here."

She pulled back from the hug, just wanting to look at him again. Wanting to make sure he wasn't faking being OK. But he looked better. He wasn't 100% and she hadn't expected that either. As long as he wasn't still letting his thoughts consume him, he would be alright. She would make sure of it.

"So, um… wanna grab some coffee?" Rachel asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"I'd like that." He responded with a grin.

He took her hand in his, letting her lead him out of his room, for the first time in ages. He didn't want to be alone anymore, at least not for now. There was one particular person he wanted to be around. Maybe it was still the high from their first kiss or maybe it was just Rachel's company itself. He felt like he'd never wanna stop being around her. He wanted to spend as much time as he could with her today. Maybe steal a few more kisses if he could. He wondered if their relationship had changed now. Was she his girlfriend? He smiled at the thought.

Things were going to be OK.