Notes: This is the Third Story in the Future Shock Series. As of right now, I am working on Chapter 18. I do not know how long this story is going to be, but hopefully, it will post once a week without interruption until it's finished.

A couple of things. I had mentioned in comments before that there would be about a six month time jump between stories. That was the intent in the outline. Cat Grant, however, was not going to tolerate Kara being a little ball of depression for anywhere near that long, so the jump ended up only being two weeks. It works better this way, TBH.

Enjoy.

National City Tribune, Wednesday, February 10th, 2016, Edition

An Absent Hero by Siobhan Smythe

It's been sixteen days since the government program-turned terrorist organization known as Project Cadmus attacked the City of Hope, the alien enclave Supergirl established in the heart of National City. The battle that followed was fierce and involved the DEO, the Kryptonians, alien residents of the City of Hope, and heroes from all over the world, but in the end, it came down to Supergirl alone, facing off against a hundred and sixty cybernetically enhanced Cadmus agents.

When the battle was over, some seventy-three DEO agents, fourteen alien residents of the City of Hope who aided in defense of their home, all two-hundred and forty of Cadmus's enhanced agents, and fifteen unborn Kryptonian children were dead.

This event left the nation and the world shocked and divided. Most were horrified by the loss of life, which included the deliberate poisoning of fifteen unborn Kryptonian children using the toxic alien mineral known as Kryptonite. But others question whether the Kryptonian children ever existed, claiming that they're lies, fabricated to justify the murder of patriots defending America against invasion.

The loudest voice among the anti-alien faction is Senator and Presidential Candidate Miranda Crane. It was the Senator who first suggested that the Kryptonian children were a fabrication, and claimed that the Cadmus agents were heroes while the Kryptonians were the real threat to National City, all the while ignoring the inconvenient fact that Cadmus are responsible for the mass shooting at CatCo, bombings which killed a dozen DEO agents along with eleven of their own men, kidnapping and experimenting on dozens of aliens including the Kryptonian known as Non, kidnapping and murdering dozens of human prostitutes off the streets of National City, and murdering Maxwell Lord.

Senator Crane's allegations have been rebutted numerous times by several of the Kryptonians, various public figures who are close to the Kryptonians, and several members of the Marsdin administration. Kryptonian Generals Astra and Ursa, DEO Director J'onn J'onzz, DEO Assistant Director Lucy Lane (daughter of Cadmus founder Samuel Lane), DEO Operations Director Susan Vasquez, Superman, all six of Earth's Green Lanterns, LCorp CEO Lena Luthor (daughter of Cadmus founder Lillian Luthor, and sister of noted terrorist and criminal Lex Luthor) have all made statements confirming the authenticity of the evidence released to the media, and refuting all of Senator Crane's allegations.

However, one voice has been conspicuously absent from the public conversation surrounding the attack.

As of today, it has been exactly two weeks since the last public sighting of Supergirl. Since the memorial the Kryptonians held for their children and those who died defending the City of Hope, Supergirl has been absent both from the skies over National City and the social media feeds where she made such an impact in the weeks and months following her debut.

All inquiries and all requests for an interview through both the Supergirl Social Media Group at CatCo and the press office at Krypton Inc have been met with the same response.

"Supergirl is currently focusing her time and energy on tending to the enormous damage done by Cadmus and PHAN. Her duties and responsibilities as a hero have been temporarily passed to her fellow Kryptonians, alien allies, and to the first responder drones of Rescue Inc. While we are aware that Supergirl has become an important public figure, we ask that the media respect her privacy while she focuses her efforts where they can do the most good in her continued mission to make Earth a better world for all who live here."

The carefully-worded press release has led to rampant speculation on both sides of the divide. Senator Crane and members of her anti-alien camp insist that Supergirl is afraid to show her face in public because she doesn't want to answer questions about what happened that day in The City of Hope. Supergirl supporters have offered alternate theories. Some have suggested that she is recovering from injuries sustained during the battle. Some have suggested that she has succumbed to her injuries or that she died in the battle and the woman seen at the memorial service was either a shape shifter or wearing an image inducer to make them look like Supergirl. Others have suggested more outlandish theories. That Supergirl is off-world, that she is so angry at the murder of the Kryptonian children that she's decided to hang up her cape, or that she permanently blew out her powers. Perhaps the most disturbing theory is from those who have asked if one of the children who died belonged to Supergirl herself, and that the Girl of Steel has withdrawn from public life while she grieves for her child.

Whatever the truth is, be it the official explanation or one of the alternate theories put forth, the question on everyone's mind is the same.

Where is Supergirl?

"Oh, sweetheart, it can't be as bad as all that," Isabel said.

Nia looked up from the copy of the National City Tribune she was reading to see her mother setting a basket of vegetables on the counter.

"It's pretty bad," Nia said as she sat the paper down.

"Honey, it was just a job," Isabel said. "There will be others."

"It wasn't just a job, Mom," Nia said. "It was a job in the White House Press Corps. And a security clearance, and an apartment, and my entire future."

"Nia-"

"I quit what was probably the best job I'll ever have," Nia said. "I mean, I know I need to learn how to use my powers, and I know this is the best place to do that, but…"

"But you feel like you've lost everything," Isabel said. "I understand, but you made the right decision. You saved so many lives that day."

Nia sighed as she looked down at the paper. "Not enough."

Isabel sat down next to Nia and picked up the paper. "Supergirl's still missing?"

"She hasn't been seen since the funeral," Nia said.

"She's grieving," Isabel said. "I don't blame her. If something ever happened to you or Maeve, I don't know how I would go on."

"She shouldn't have to be grieving," Nia said.

Isabel reached out and took Nia's hands in her own. "Oh, Nia, my beautiful daughter, what am I going to do with you?"

"Put me to work in the garden?"

Isabel laughed. "Sweetheart, your powers are a gift. They will allow you to do extraordinary things. When you become Dreamer you will have the power to change the world, but the hardest lesson you will ever have to learn is that no matter how hard you try, no matter how powerful you become, you will never be able to save everyone."

"But why not?" Nia asked. "If I can see the future, I should be able to save everybody. I should have been able to warn Supergirl that they would go after the children."

"You didn't know," Isabel said. "And that is my fault."

"No," Nia said. "Mom-"

"It is," Isabel said. "Nia, when you and Maeve were young, I knew that my daughter would be the next Dreamer. I assumed that meant it would be Maeve, but when you told me who you are, when you told me you were a girl, I never went back and looked at that assumption. I never questioned it. And I ended up hurting both my girls because of that."

"Mom, that's not true," Nia said.

"It is," Isabel said. "I promised your sister a future she'll never get to have, and I didn't prepare you for the weight of your destiny."

"I could not have asked for a better mother than you," Nia said. "You accepted me. You loved me. You taught me to be who I am, and to never, ever apologize for it. That's a gift so many people like me don't get."

Isabel gave Nia's hands a gentle squeeze. "I should have known right from the start that it would be you. You were always the fighter, and you never did anything easy in your entire life."

Nia shook her head. "I never did, did I?"

"You wouldn't be you if you had."

"I'm scared mom," Nia said. "I am so scared."

"I know. Just like I know you're going to do it anyway," Isabel said.

Thursday, February 11th, 2016

CatCo News Coverage of the Crane for President Rally in South Carolina

Volvo Car Stadium in North Charleston South Carolina normally held ten thousand, two hundred people for sporting events. Another two thousand could be seated on the field for concerts and similar events such as the campaign rally that was happening that morning, and despite the fact that Miranda Crane entered the race so late that she hadn't even been able to get her name on the ballot of the Iowa Caucuses, she managed to draw a crowd of almost eight thousand people from all over South Carolina. She stepped out onto the stage in a maroon suit over a white blouse at a few minutes past eleven to the sound of thunderous applause. She walked across the stage slowly, waving as she did, detouring in her path to the podium to lean down and touch the hands of audience members lined up at the foot of the stage before finally taking her place behind the podium.

"Good morning," Miranda said, looking out at the cheering crowd. "Thank you for such a warm welcome. Thank you all."

She waited a minute for the cheering to die down and looked out at the crowd, taking in the signs she saw here and there. Ones that read things like, 'Alien Go Home,' and 'Earth for Humans' were sprinkled in among far more common slogans like 'Save our jobs'. When she saw a 'No Supergirl! No Transmat!' sign, she smiled.

"You know, I have to admit, I didn't know what kind of reception I would get here today. I didn't know what kind of reaction a mixed-race woman from California would receive on a South Carolina stage. I didn't know, because I have spent a lot of time in Washington DC. I spent a lot of time listening to Democrats spouting lies. Democrats using identity politics to try and turn us against each other, to divide us, so it's easier for them to lie to us, to make us buy into their false promises.

"I am ashamed to say, that after listening to their lies for so long, I began to believe them. I began to wonder if people like you, people born in the South, proud of their heritage, would show up to hear what someone like me had to say. But standing here today, looking out at all of you, listening to the tremendous welcome from all of you, I am reminded that we are more alike than we are different. That we all share common beliefs and values. That we all hold hard work, family, community, country and God dear to us. That those traditional values are still in the hearts and minds of good people everywhere.

"It warms my heart. Truly it does. Because you are the reason I went into public service. You are the reason I became a city councilwoman, the reason I became a Senator, and you are the reason I'm standing up here, running for President of the United States of America. I am up here today to protect people like you from the politicians in Washington who are trying to sell your future out from under you to curry favor with the aliens who are invading our country, who are invading our world.

"Now, I already see some of you out there rolling your eyes, and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'here she goes again, ranting about aliens.' You're out there thinking that you need a President who would make sure that you have jobs, that you're safe in your homes and out on the streets, that you can afford gas for your cars and food for your tables.

"I agree with you. You need a President who is going to do all of that. And it is true. I talk about aliens a lot. But I am here to tell you today, that those are the reasons I do. I talk about aliens because aliens terrify me.

"I am half Native American and half Black. I know, my family knows, in our bones, what happens to a people when the colonizers come. Aliens terrify me, because they are colonizers. Colonizers who will take land, kill people, bring weapons and disease and alien gods with them.

"And it's already started. Little Krypton is built on land stolen from the hard-working men and women of National City. And hundreds of people have died in Supergirl's war with the American Government. Everyone from soldiers to everyday men and women going about their day. And they will come for your jobs next. That's already started too.

"How long do you think it will be before the Boeing factory that employs so many of you, so many of your friends and family, closes its doors because it can't compete with Supergirl and her transmat network? How long do you think it will be before the car factories in South Carolina close because they aren't able to make cars that run by alien power crystals? How long until alien robots are picking the crops and making the textiles, paper goods and machinery that are the economic life-blood of South Carolina? How long until those same alien robots staff the hotels and the restaurants? How long until there are no jobs left? How long until you can't find enough work to pay your mortgage? How long until you're forced to live in one of the alien towers? How long until you're dependent on alien handouts? How long until you have to do whatever an alien says, just so you can feed your children?

"That's what's already happening in National City! That's the future that collaborators like President Marsdin, Bruce Wayne, and Cat Grant want! That's what Supergirl stands for! Poverty, desperation and servitude for all!

"Supergirl and her people came to our world illegally. She hid among us. She lied about who she was. She attacks anyone who criticizes her, murders anyone who tries to fight her, corrupts government agents. She murdered over two hundred American soldiers in the streets of National City just two weeks ago, and now she's hiding. Hiding behind lies about poisoned children. Children that, conveniently enough, appeared out of nowhere just in time to be murdered. Children that no one had ever seen or heard of before.

"Do you know why no one knew about the Kryptonian children? Because, like everything else that comes out of Supergirl's mouth, they're lies. Those children never existed. They aren't real. They're a myth. A lie told to keep people from looking too closely at what happened that day.

"And President Marsdin is busy trying to sell that lie. She's so desperate to cover for her pet alien, she's spouting more lies. Lies about tiny mind control robots and magic dust in the sky.

"I am standing here today, telling you the truth. The aliens are here. They are a threat. They are murderers and rapists and thieves who worship alien gods, who spit on traditional values, who spit on family and flaunt their perversion and deviance, who scoff at hard work, community, country and law. Who believe that they are better than you.

"I am standing here today asking you to stand with me, to send me to the White House so that I can protect your jobs, your family, your community and your country. I am asking you to send me to the White House, so I can send the aliens back where they belong!"

Maggie smiled as she spotted Mike coming in through the door of the little Mexican restaurant near Kara's old apartment. The place was a bit of a dive, kind of like the entire neighborhood around Hammersmith Tower, but the food was amazing, and it was close enough that Mike could walk. She waved as he looked around, and he smiled and headed over, dropping into the booth across from her.

"Hey, cariño," Maggie said.

"Hey, Loba."

"How's Yue?"

"Tired," Mike said. "CatCo is keeping her busy. She loves it though. I think she's got a bit of a crush on Ms. Vale."

"Jealous?" Maggie asked.

Mike shook his head. "No. Well, maybe a little. But not as much as I would have been before."

"That's good to hear," Maggie said. "I take it that means you're happy with the results?"

"Yeah. I…" Mike glanced down at the table and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I can't tell you how it felt when I came out of the chamber. It was like this huge weight had been lifted off my chest."

"I saw them, Mike. They weren't that huge."

Mike laughed and looked up at her.

"I'm happy for you," Maggie said.

"Thank you," Mike said.

"How are things at the gallery?" Maggie asked.

"Amazing," Mike said. "I got to arrange the show we're opening this weekend. I know that might not seem like much. Just deciding which paintings go on which wall."

"Hey, no. Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Act like it's not a big deal," Maggie said. "Mike, I might not know anything about art, but don't act like your accomplishments don't mean anything just because the average idiot off the street doesn't understand why it's important."

"You know you just called yourself an idiot, right?"

Maggie shrugged. "If the pretentious French hat fits…"

"It's called a beret, and no one actually wears those anymore."

"Like I said, I don't know anything about art. Other than that you had better invite me when you get your first show."

"That might be a while," Mike said. "I still have a couple of years of school left."

"Any word on your applications?"

"Yeah. I got in at the Swan School."

"Is that good?" Maggie asked.

"It's one of the best art schools in the country," Mike said in a voice that didn't sound at all happy. "It's also one of the most expensive."

"Don't worry about that," Maggie said.

"I don't know how I'd pay for National City State, unless I got a scholarship. The Swan School-"

"Don't worry about it," Maggie said. "If you got in, I'll make sure you can go. You just be the best artist you can. Same for Yue. Wherever she wants to go, as long as she can get in, we'll take care of tuition."

Mike gave her a smile, but Maggie could tell he was still having his doubts.

"How about you?" he asked, before she could really press the subject. "How are things going with Alex?"

Maggie sighed. "They could be better," she said. "They could be a lot worse, too. She's making progress, but she's frustrated that she's not moving faster, and I don't know how to help her."

"Can I give you some advice?" Mike asked.

"Sure," Maggie said.

"Don't try to fix things," Mike said.

"What?"

"You know Yue wasn't my first girlfriend, right?"

"Well, I do now," Maggie said.

"I didn't have an easy time, after dad threw you out. Things got bad. Mom and dad both refused to call me Mike. They wouldn't let me cut my hair anymore. They tried to make me wear dresses and skirts and makeup. I got depressed. I kept thinking, if I could make it to college, things would be better, you know. But um… I got there, and at first, they were. I cut my hair, I never put on a dress or a skirt. People called me Mike. I met this girl, Eunice, and I fell in love. And I still felt like shit, all the time.

"Eunice kept trying to fix me. She bought me herbal supplements, she made me go for walks, she made me do these mindfulness exercises. You know what all of that did?"

Maggie shook her head.

"It made me feel broken. Like I was some project to be fixed. I broke up with her, because I felt like I would never be good enough for her. Like I would never be well enough for her. When I met Yue, she figured out pretty quick that I was depressed, and the first time we talked about it I thought I was going to lose her. I thought it was going to go the same way it went with Eunice, but it didn't.

"Yue told me that she cared about me, and that she wanted me to get better. She told me that she thought I should go to a therapist. Then she told me that she would do anything she could to help me, and all I had to do was ask. She didn't try to fix me. She helped me, but she helped me the way I wanted to be helped. She asked me what I needed, and then she gave it to me. But she left the job of fixing me to the therapists and the doctors, so that when I needed a break from it all, I had someone to go to who would just listen and let me let it all out. Because I needed that as much as I needed therapy, and as much as I needed anti-depressants and as much as I needed to admit that I was transgender, I just needed someone I could go to who would listen, and comfort me, and who wouldn't judge me or try to fix me.

"If you really want to help Alex, try being that for her. Don't fix her. That's the doctor's job. Just be there for her. Help her in the ways she wants to be helped, hold her when she wants to be held, and give her space when she asks for it."

"You know," Maggie said, "I'm torn. On the one hand, I'm really, really proud of you, because that's really, really good advice. On the other hand, I'm a lesbian sitting here taking relationship advice from a straight man, and that just feels wrong."

"Oh god," Mike said, a horrified look on his face. "Oh shit."

"What?"

"I'm a straight man. How the fuck did that happen?"

Maggie laughed so loud everyone in the restaurant turns to look at her. "You played yourself, little brother."

"I hate you," Mike said.

"Fine. No Pollo en Mole for you."

"Lady Cat, you have an incoming call from Ms. Vale," Kleenex said as the attendant removed the resistance bands from Cat's hands.

"Put it through," Cat said.

"Hey, Cat," Vicki said.

"Hello, Vicki," Cat said. "I hope this isn't you calling to tell me you've ruined two and a half decades of hard work in less than two weeks."

"No," Vicki said, "But you feel free to come back any time you want."

"Not enjoying life as a CEO?" Cat asked.

"Interim CEO, thank you," Vicki said. "And no, not particularly. But this is more of a heads up. I wanted to let you know that you're probably going to get an irate call from Lois."

"Oh, what ever will I do?" Cat asked, not quite able to keep the amusement out of her voice. "Why is Lois irate?"

"You remember the conversation we had about finding a cricket for our little shark's shoulder?" Vicki asked.

"I do," Cat said, wondering what that had to do with Lois.

"Well, it occurred to me that Smallville managed to get Lois to dial back on her worst instincts, and I thought it might be worth a try to see if that farm boy charm thing he does would help our little shark grow a conscience," Vicki said.

"You paired Siobhan and Clark up?" Cat asked, completely unable to keep the delight out of her voice.

"I did," Vicki said. "Also, Lois? Definitely the jealous type."

"Vicki, if I didn't already have a girlfriend, I would be asking you to marry me right now," Cat said.

"I'd love to, Cat, but honestly, that pesky heterosexuality keeps getting in the way," Vicki said.

"I'll ask Supergirl if she has a cure for that packed away in her little bag of wonders," Cat said.

"If she does, I'd advise you not to tell anyone. Crane would have a field day," Vicki said. "I can see the headlines now. 'Crane Accuses Supergirl of Conspiring to Make America Gay'."

"It would be a public service to women everywhere," Cat said.

"On a completely and absolutely unrelated note, how is Kara doing?" Vicki asked.

"Honestly?" Cat asked.

"Yeah," Vicki said.

"She's still a wreak," Cat said.

"I can't imagine Miranda Crane's speech this morning was any help with that," Vicki said.

"What speech?" Cat asked.

"You haven't heard?" Vicki asked.

"I've been in physical therapy most of the morning," Cat said.

"Shit," Vicki said. "Kara's not alone, is she?"

"No," Cat said. "We don't leave her alone those days. Leslie sits with her while I do my morning therapy session."

"Miranda gave another of her 'the children are a lie' speeches," Vicki said.

"Wonderful," Cat said, already knowing what she was going to find when she got upstairs. "Vicki, I've got to go."

"Yeah," Vicki said. "Go take care of your girl."

Kaldur'ahm touched the buzzer next to Winn's door again, hoping this time he would actually answer. Today marked the fifteenth day since the funeral, and the fifteenth day since Winn has left his apartment. Kaldur'ahm had been by every day, and every day, Winn had failed to answer the door. It hurt more every time.

When Kaldur'ahm had taken the job at CatCo, he had not expected to find anything other than duty and a certain hoped-for tedium. He had been surprised. First by how quickly the situation had escalated to the point where he felt his charge actually needed his protection, and secondly by Winn. After everything that had happened, Kaldurm'ahm had never expected to find love again.

Winn had been a surprise in so many ways. Braver than anyone realized. Insightful, loyal, caring and kind. Kaldur'ahm hadn't really taken full account until after the shooting, when Winn had dragged him out of his own depression and looming sense of failure.

Now, Winn was hurting in a similar, but far worse way. He was blaming himself for something he had no control over, and it hurt Kaldur'ahm deeply that he could not be there for the man he had fallen in love with, and it hurt more that the reason he couldn't was because Winn had chosen to cut him off. They had not spoken since the day of the funeral. Winn had asked to be alone, and Kaldur'ahm had wanted to give him the space he asked for, but Winn had not returned to work, and each day, Kaldur'ahm had come by, hoping to talk to him. Hoping to find a way to help him deal with his grief and his guilt, the way Winn had done for him following the CatCo shooting. But each time, just like today, Winn had not opened the door.

"Nimda," Kaldur'ahm said.

"Yes?"

"Is Winn okay?" Kaldur'ahm said.

"Winn is currently experiencing mild dehydration and malnutrition. However, both are within tolerable limits for a human," Nimda said.

"Thank you," Kaldur'ahm said. "Pass on a message, please."

"Recording," Nimda said.

"Winn, this is Kaldur'ahm. I am here, if you need me. I love you. End message."

"Message recorded, and sent," Nimda said. "Is there anything else?"

"No," Kaldurm'ahm said. He turned around and headed for the elevator, hoping that Winn would eventually realize he did not have to suffer alone.

The sight that greeted Cat when she walked into the penthouse was one she never would have believed just a few weeks earlier, but she'd learned a long time again that normal rules didn't apply where Kara was concerned. Normally, that was a happy thought, a reminder of how special Kara was, and how much her particular brand of hope and optimism could affect people, but not today. Today, the miracle happening on her couch was just another reminder of the tragedy that had dominated their lives for the last few weeks.

Kara was curled up on the couch, her head on Leslie's shoulder as she clutched at the stuffed Beebo Winn had given them and cried as if the world were ending. Leslie, bless her, had both arms around Kara and was rocking her gently. The sight made Cat's chest seize, like there was steel band around it, squeezing tighter with each breath. She crossed the room as quickly as she could and sat down next to Kara.

"I'm here love," Cat said, and Kara flinched at the sound of her voice, the sudden movement making Leslie hiss in pain. By now, Cat was used to the reaction, but it didn't stop it from feeling like a slap to the face every time it happened. Cat clenched and unclenched her fists, telling herself that Kara couldn't help it, forcing the hurt down as quickly as she could, so that by the time Kara turned towards her, she could hold out her arms. She could see the hesitance and the fear of Kara's face, something else she'd gotten used too, even if she didn't understand it, and just like she expected, it only lasted for a moment before Kara flung herself into Cat's arms and hugged her tightly as the crying started anew.

"Miranda Crane?" Cat asked.

Leslie nodded.

"Thank you for being here," Cat said.

"Yeah, well, if I electrocute Crane, Susan would be pissed, so I didn't have anywhere else to be," Leslie said. She gave lie to her words a moment later when she leaned over and pressed a kiss to Kara's temple.

"I've got to head to work, Sunshine," Leslie said as she stood up. "But if you need any of us, you call. We'll be here."

Kara nodded. "Love you," Kara said.

"You're really going to make me say it, aren't you?" Leslie asked.

Kara gave Leslie a watery smile and nodded.

"Fine," Leslie said. "I love you too, you insufferable little shit."

Before Kara could say anything, Leslie vanished into one of the reinforced electrical outlets Kara had installed just for that purpose.

"Love," Cat said.

"Yes?"

"Can I call Dr. Foster and have your session moved up?" Cat asked.

"That's probably a good idea," Kara said.

Cat pressed a kiss to Kara's temple.

"I think today might be a good day for a joint session," Cat said.

Kara shifted in her arms, turning to look at her, and Cat could see the fear in Kara's eyes.

"What's wrong love?"

The fear faded, replaced with something else Cat didn't understand. Resignation.

"Okay," Kara said. She rested her head on Cat's shoulder again. "I love you."

"I love you too," Cat said.

She wasn't sure why those words brought another burst of tears.

Vicki looked up at the sound of a knock and smiled when she saw James standing in the doorway to the office she was occupying in Cat and Kara's office.

"Hey," James said. "Got a minute?"

"Sure," Vicki said. "Have a seat."

James walked over and dropped into one of the seats in front of the desk. "So, Lois is on the warpath."

Vicki grinned. "Is she?"

"She is. She just headed out to get herself a cup of coffee and strangle Cat with her own ovaries."

"How would that even work?"

"I don't know, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know," James said.

"I mean, Fallopian tubes, maybe? I could sort of see that, but honestly, I'd think small intestines would be a better choice."

James gave her a look she wasn't quite sure how to interpret, and she shrugged.

"You see enough mob murders in Gotham, you start to think about these things."

"I'll take your word for it," James said.

"I got fifty on Cat," Vicki said.

"What?"

"Fifty on Cat kicking Lois's ass," Vicki said.

"You do know we're talking about Lois Lane, right?"

"Eh," Vicki said with a shrug. "Cat and I have been chasing news since Lois was in high school. Cat can take her."

"I didn't know you were older than Lois," James said.

"Flatterer," Vicki said. "So, did you just come in to inform me of the upcoming Celebrity Death Match, or did you need something?"

"I just wanted to see how you were holding up," James said. "That chair can be a bit scary."

"I didn't realize you'd ever sat in it," Vicki said.

"Just for a day," James said. "Cat left me in charge when she went to Metropolis to receive the Siegel Prize."

"Well, I'm fine," Vicki said.

"Really?"

"No," Vicki said, laughing a little. "I'm completely terrified every time I make a decision. I wonder if I'm going to be the woman who destroys CatCo."

"I like to think CatCo is a little more resilient than that," James said. "But I will tell you something I learned in my time here. Cat has a way of seeing talent in people, even if they don't see it in themselves. If she picked you for that chair, it's because she thinks you've got what it takes to fill it."

"And if I fail, she'll kill me, so it won't really matter," Vicki said.

"Nah. Cat wouldn't kill you. That's not her style. She'd just have you blacklisted from every news outlet in the English-speaking world."

"You know, that does sound like something Cat would do."

"Well, like a friend once said to me, if you need someone to talk to, or someone to hold your hair back during the hangover, you've got my phone number."

"I also know where you work," Vicki said.

"True," James said. "I'll let you get back to it." He stood up and headed for the door.

"Hey, James," Vicki said.

He turned around to look at her. "Yeah?"

"Would you like to get dinner tomorrow?" Vicki asked.

"Yeah," James said. "I'd like that."

"Then it's a date, Mr. Olsen."

Cat sat down next to Kara on the couch in Doctor Foster's office, doing her best to steady her nerves. The last two weeks had been some of the worst of Cat's life. She was trying to deal with her own grief over Kiera, trying to deal with her own lack of control over her body, trying to learn to manage her new powers without the red sunlamps and the power dampener she wore around her wrist for those moments when losing control of her powers would be catastrophic. But Kara's grief was overshadowing everything.

Cat knew that Kara didn't mean for it to. She could see Kara trying to contain it, trying to be strong, but that made it even worse, because it made Cat afraid. The moments when Kara seemed almost normal, when she seemed the most like her old self, were terrifying for Cat, because she knew better than most how well Kara could mask her grief and her pain, and she was scared of why Kara might be trying to hide it.

She took Kara's hand in hers, squeezing it gently as Doctor Foster settled in and got her notepad out, wanting any connection to Kara she could find. She could feel Kara slipping away, more and more each day, closing off the connection that had come so easily to them, and she couldn't understand why. She wondered, sometimes, if Kara blamed her. After all, Kara had sent her to protect the Genesis Chamber, and if she hadn't made a mistake, hadn't lowered her personal shield, she would have reached Lillian, Lane and Indigo before they got into the Genesis Chamber.

She wished she could remember it, wished she could remember the battle, or the day itself. Bits and pieces of the days leading up to the battle had come back to her, but nothing of the day itself. She knew they only found out about the attack a few hours before it happened, and she found herself wondering. Had it been a good day for them? Had they been happy? Had they had a sense of the impending destruction of their blissful little bubble? She wanted to know, but she didn't know how to ask, and she was a little afraid of the answer.

"Good afternoon," Foster said.

"Thanks for fitting us in early," Cat said.

"It's not a problem," Foster said.

Cat nodded. She suspected it was a lie, that the erratic nature of Kara's need for early or extra therapy sessions over the last couple of weeks was playing hell with Foster's regular clients and made a note to discuss that with her later. One of the advantages of being a billionaire dating another billionaire, they couple actually afford to hire the woman on an exclusive basis if it came to it, and Cat was ready to admit it had gotten to the point where that was a real and legitimate need.

"I'm guessing something prompted the request for an earlier session?" Foster asked.

Cat looked over at Kara, who was just setting there, clutching the stuffed Beebo, and didn't look like she was even aware a question had been asked.

"Love?" Cat asked, swallowing the hurt when Kara flinched. Kara turned to look at her, and Cat took a small breath.

"Can I tell Doctor Foster about this morning?" Cat asked.

Kara gave a listless shrug.

Cat squeezed her hand and turned back to Foster. "I came home from my morning physical therapy and found Kara curled up on the couch with Leslie, crying," she said.

"What was the trigger?" Foster asked.

"Miranda Crane," Cat said.

Foster sighed. "She made another speech denying the existence of the Kryptonian children?" Foster asked.

"Yes," Kara said, speaking for the first time since they'd entered the room.

"I'm sorry, Kara," Foster said.

Kara gave a small shrug.

"You've said before that it upsets you. Do you think you'd like to talk about why?" Foster asked.

Cat heard the unspoken 'with Cat here' at the end of the question, and felt a bit of relief that this was, at least, a subject Kara had already discussed with Foster.

"She was real," Kara said, her voice thick with pain. "Kiera was real. My daughter was real. She was my little girl. Cat was going to be her other mom, and Alex and Maggie and Lena, and Susan and Leslie and Lucy were going to be her aunts, and Winn and James and Kaldur'ahm were going to be her uncles, and Eliza and Astra and J'onn were going to be her grandparents and Carter was going to be her brother, and she was going to have cousins and friends and I was going to teach her about Krypton and how to speak / kryptahniuo/ and about Rao and she was real. She was…"

Kara squeezed her eyes shut and curled in on herself. She pulled her hand out of Cat's, and wrapped both arms around the stuffed Beebo, holding it tightly against her stomach as she let out a high keening and tears rolled down her face. Cat moved closer and pulled Kara against her side, hugging her with superhuman strength as she pressed a kiss to the top of Kara's head.

The crying went on and on, and Cat held her, worried only that they would run out of time, and have to leave before Kara was able to talk. Foster seemed to sense Cat's worry, and held up her notepad, where the words, 'I've cleared my afternoon' were written and underlined. Cat nodded slightly in relief and pressed another kiss to Kara's head.

It felt like an eternity before Kara finally stopped crying, Cat aching for Kara the whole time because she didn't know how to help, how she could make it better, and Cat had never done well in situations she couldn't control., Eventually, however, the tears and the keening stopped, and the room settled into silence until Foster spoke again.

"Kara," Foster whispered, but in the silence of the room, it was more than enough to get Kara's attention. "I understand being angry with Crane. She's lying about your children, about the tragedy your people have been through. You have every right to be angry, to be outraged. But you're not reacting like you're angry. Just now, it sounded like you were trying to convince someone that Kiera was real.

"Now, I know that Kiera was real. I remember when you found out you were having a daughter. How much pain you went through at first, and how much joy there was later. I remember all of that. And Cat. Cat knows Kiera was real. Cat went to the Genesis Chamber. She saw her, she read books to her. Cat loved her, just as much as you did. Everyone who knows you, everyone who loves you, knows Kiera was real.

"So, Kara, I want to ask you, who were you trying to convince?"

Cat held Kara a little tighter, rubbing her back gently as she waited to see if Kara would answer, but Kara didn't move or speak.

"Do you think it's possible that you were trying to convince yourself?" Foster asked.

It sounded like a ridiculous question on the face of it, but Cat wondered if Foster might be onto something, and was hardly surprised at all when Kara nodded.

"Are you worried that she wasn't real?"

Kara nodded again.

"Why, Kara?" Foster asked. "Why are you worried she wasn't real?"

"Because I live in a world filled with ghosts," Kara said. "I get up every day, and the first thing I see is Cat, but Cat is dead, because I left her on that balcony, and I wasn't fast enough or good enough to save her. And I go to work, and I see Alex and Maggie, but they're dead. The Furies tore them apart after they killed Granny Goodness. And I come home and I see Astra, but Astra died in my arms after Alex stabbed her through the chest with a Kryptonite sword. And I see Eliza, but Jeremiah ripped her heart out. And I see Lucy, but Lucy shot herself in the head after she killed her dad. And I see J'onn, but J'onn burned out his own brain to embed the life equation in my and Kal's mind. And I see Winn, but Indigo impaled him, and I see Leslie, but she died absorbing the entire energy output of an Apokoliptin reactor and releasing it into Steppenwolf's face. And I see Susan, but she died when Kalibak broke open the DEO. And I see Cat, but I felt Winn cave in her skull, and I see Maggie, but I watched her get run through, and I see Astra, but I ordered the line back and abandoned her, and I see Alex, but I watched the men who killed her come back to the battle.

"All I see, every day, are the people I loved and watched die, so why isn't she here?"

"Kara," Cat whispered.

"I watched them die. I watched everyone die, and it's happening again, and this time, I'm the one killing them," Kara said.

"You did not kill anyone you love," Cat said.

"Yes, I did," Kara said.

"Kara, we've been through this before," Foster said. "Cat, Astra, Maggie and Alex aren't dead."

"Because of luck," Kara said. "Because of Bliix and Nimda and Susan."

"Because of you," Foster said. "Nimda saved Maggie because of the medevac protocols you put in place. Susan reached Alex in time because you gave her Zoom's speed. Bliix was there to save Astra because you gave Ursa the order to raise a militia. Cat is alive because you left Leslie at the DEO to deal with the threat of the puppets from Nia's dream. Maggie, Alex and Astra are alive because of preparations you made before the battle."

"But I still made those decisions," Kara said. "I still looked down into the battle and decided that winning was more important that keeping my mother and my sisters alive."

Kara set up, pulling away from Cat and hugging the Beebo doll tightly. Cat knew that they'd come to the heart of whatever it was that had been hurting Kara so deeply the last two weeks. Whatever it was Kara hadn't been telling her.

"I looked down into the battle and decided that winning was more important than keeping my daughter alive," Kara said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just… Nimda told me. She told me that the Genesis Chamber had been breached, and I just put it aside. I knew what Lillian would do. I knew, but I just pushed it aside, because I couldn't send anyone and still win the battle."

"Kara, you didn't have any choice," Cat said.

"But I did," Kara said. "I did. I could have saved her. I could have saved Astra and Maggie and Alex. But I made that choice. I made it when Astra fell. I made it when Maggie was stabbed. I made it when felt the construct pendant you gave me vanish. I made it when Alex broke ranks. I made it when Nimda told me the Genesis Chamber had been breached. I've always made that choice, and I will always make that choice."

Cat sat and stared at Kara, finally understanding the weeks of flinching and the fear in Kara's eyes. Kara thought she would blame her, that she would hate her for making the choice she did, and Cat hated herself a little bit, because she should have forced Kara to talk about it sooner, because there was something Kara didn't know.

"Kara, look at me," Cat said.

Kara turned towards her.

"I knew," Cat said.

"What?" Kara asked.

"I already knew," Cat said. "I had Nimda put together all the comm logs, and all the video from the security cameras in / zrhygrhahs im shahrrehth/. I watched the whole battle. I already knew."

"You did?" Kara asked. "But… But how can you even look at me? I let our little girl die."

"Kara," Cat said, "what would have happened if you lost the battle?"

"Cadmus would have killed everyone in / zrhygrhahs im shahrrehth/," Kara said.

"How many lives is that?" Cat asked. "Thousands?"

Kara nodded.

"And then what?" Cat asked. "Could you fight the Guardians alone?"

"No," Kara said.

"And can you defeat Darkseid without the Lanterns' help?" Cat asked.

"No," Kara said.

"So, when you watched Astra fall, you had to choose between her life and the multiverse. And when you saw Maggie get stabbed, you had to choose between her life and the multiverse. And when Alex broke ranks, you had to choose between her life and the multiverse. And when felt my constructs fade, you had to choose between my life and the multiverse. And when Nimda told you the Genesis Chamber was breached, you had to choose between Kiera's life and the multiverse."

"You made the only choice you could," Cat said. "Every time, you made the only choice you could. No one should ever have to make that choice, but you made it, and you made the right choice. And it hurts. I know it hurts, but you made the only choice you could. I couldn't have made that choice. I couldn't have. But you're stronger than I am, and I love you."

She put her arm around Kara, and leaned over, kissing her on the temple. "I've been to war zones. I've seen the ruins of cities after they were bombed into submission. I was in Metropolis when the Justice League fought Darkseid in the streets. I listened that night at Sanctuary. I heard every word. I was at CatCo during the shooting. I saw the DEO building collapse. I saw the photos James took in the PHAN prison. I was there the night we found Cadmus's mountain base. I was with you when you saw the lab where they made Bizarro. I was there when you ended Maxwell Lord. I was never under the impression that this was going to be bloodless, and I certainly was never under the impression that none of the blood would be ours.

"You had to make horrible decisions. You had to choose between the people you love, and the lives of everyone in fifty-three universes. No-one should have to make those decisions, and you have made them over and over again. You have fought so hard, for so long, and given so much.

"I need you to understand that I will never judge you for the choices you have to make. But I am angry at you. You promised me you would come to me. That morning after the White House, you promised me you would come to me. That we would work through these things together. But you didn't come to me. You were going to leave. I stopped you, but you still didn't come to me. You shut me out. I needed you, and you wouldn't let me in."

"I'm sorry," Kara said.

"I know," Cat said. "I know, and I forgive you, but we have to do better, because I can't lose you."

"Cat," Foster said.

Cat turned away from Kara reluctantly and looked Foster.

"When you say, 'do better,' what does that look like to you?" Foster asked.

Cat turned back to Kara. "It means that I want her to tell me everything. I want her to come to me when she's hurting, even when she's afraid I'll be mad, so I can help."

"I'm not sure I can agree with 'everything,'" Foster said. "Everyone needs some privacy, even in a relationship. But I do agree that there has been a serious breakdown in communication over the last couple of weeks. The two of you should have been drawing strength from each other, helping each other heal, but instead, Kara has been afraid of how you would react when you found out what happened during the battle, and you've felt like she's been shutting you out."

"So, what do we do?" Cat asked.

"Kara," Foster said.

"Yes?" Kara asked.

"I would like your permission to discuss some of the things we've worked on in our private sessions the last couple of weeks with Cat. Would that be okay?"

"Yes," Kara said.

"Kara has two primary coping strategies. One of them is healthy, and one of them is not. The healthy coping strategy is a mix of what we call social support and interpersonal touch. She draws comfort and warmth from physical contact with her friends and family, from conversation, and from time spent with them. It allows her to heal in a safe space, with lots of support behind her. It's a strategy she developed with her sister during their teenage years.

"Her unhealthy coping strategy is disassociation. She shuts her emotions off, she puts them into a box inside her so she doesn't have to feel those things, and she withdraws from anything that might force her to open those boxes and deal with those uncomfortable feelings. This is a coping strategy she developed during her initial time on Earth, prior to her becoming close with her sister, and it's one that she honed during the war.

"Kara struggles with guilt, and I think the recent communications breakdown is a result of that. When Kara is having trouble coping, when she becomes overwhelmed by her guilt, she withdraws. If the feelings of guilt are particularly strong, she may enter a full dissociative episode, similar to what happened to her in the immediate aftermath of the battle. She does that because she is afraid that if she tells the people she cares about what she is struggling with, they will abandon her, because her guilt makes her feel unworthy of the love, kindness and compassion she offers so readily to other people.

"The last two weeks, Kara has been overwhelmed by her guilt at the choices she had to make during the battle. Especially the decision to remain in the fight in the market square instead of going to the Genesis Chamber to protect Kiera and the other children. She couldn't bring herself to open up to you, because whether it was rational or not, she believed that when you found out what she had done, you would abandon her."

"I wouldn't," Cat said. She reached up and ran her hand over Kara's hair. "How do I help her?"

"Well, some of that will depend on Kara, but I do have a suggestion," Foster said.

"What is it?" Cat asked.

"A code phrase," Foster said.

"A code phrase?" Cat asked.

"Yes. Something simple, that you can both agree on. Something to remind Kara that she can confide in you. That you want and need her to confide in you. When you use it, Kara will tell you what she's feeling. She will be completely honest about those feelings. And you will listen to her, let her tell you what she is feeling without argument, interruption, and most importantly, without judgement.

"But Cat, this will only work if she trusts you. If you are absolutely committed to being a safe space for her. No matter how you feel about what she tells you, you cannot fight with her about it, or argue with her about it. You have to accept it and help her deal with it. You cannot throw it back in her face later, because if you do, if you break that trust, this will never work again."

"I can do that," Cat said.

"Are you sure?" Foster asked. "Because it is a big commitment."

"I can do that," Cat said.

"It cannot be one-sided. It will have to go both ways. If Kara uses the code phrase, you have to tell her what you're feeling. You have to confide in her. Fully and honestly. No lies. No half-truths. Are you ready to be that open with Kara?" Foster asked.

Cat stared at Foster for a moment, turning the question over in her mind. Was she ready to share everything with Kara? Willing to expose herself to someone completely? The thought was terrifying, but if it was a choice between that or losing Kara, then the answer was yes.

"I am," Cat said.

"What about you, Kara?" Foster asked. "Do you think you could open up that way?"

"I can try," Kara said.

"You've done it before," Cat said. "The day after you ran into Sara in the bar. And when you told me about that night with Lucy."

"It was easier then," Kara said.

"Why?" Cat asked.

"Because now I could lose you," Kara said.

Cat closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Don't you trust me?" Cat asked.

"Of course I do," Kara said.

"Then believe me when I tell you that you're not going to lose me," Cat said.

"Cat, the things I've done… They're horrible," Kara said.

"But you shared them with Sara," Cat said. "You shared all of it with her, didn't you?"

Kara nodded.

"Then why can't you share it with me?" Cat asked.

"Sara was there," Kara said. "She already knew. All the horrible things I did during the war. She saw them. She did them too.

"Cat, you don't know. You don't understand. They called me things. The Red Daughter of Krypton, the Blue Death, Hivekiller, Godslayer, Destroyer of Worlds. Darkseid called me the Survivor. I earned every one of those names. My father said he made me something different, but he was wrong. I'm a Worldkiller. I'm a monster. I love you so much, and I am so afraid that one day, you'll see who I really am, and you'll hate me for it."

"No," Cat said. "Never. Kara, I promise you, I will always be here for you, but you have to let me in. You have to let me help. Can you do that?"

"I'll try," Kara said.

"Okay," Cat said. "Why don't you start by telling me about that day. Everything about that day. And I promise you, no judgement."

Notes:

Translated from the Kryptonian:

kryptahniuo
Kryptonian (Language)

zrhygrhahs im shahrrehth
City of Hope