Hello friends! I know I've been MIA for a while (and just showing up with a random oneshot is more on brand than i'd like to admit) but I couldn't resist eventually getting this idea down. I've been off and on writing for the last few months but nothing quite as steady. This idea attacked me and wouldn't let me go, so here have some Royai nonsense for the start of your weekend :) (p.s. I miss everyone and hope yall are doing well)

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye watched with a flash of annoyance as her superior rubbed his gloved hands together to abate the cold and cursed for the umpteenth time since they'd stationed themselves outside the secluded East City club. The colonel was being overly dramatic yet again and she was far from patient enough to deal with it by this point, also thoroughly chilled to the bone.

She watched as Colonel Mustang blew out a puff of air, easily visible even at the late hour, before he nearly pouted. "You know, when I got promoted, I really thought I'd be done with these half-assed stealth missions."

Still trying to keep her eyes trained on the front doors of the swanky club for their target, Riza let out a sigh of her own. "You should consider it an honor that General Grumman only trusts you for these types of things." She wasn't sure whether she was even trying to be sarcastic or not, but, regardless, her superior took it as such.

Letting out a scoff, he replied, "Yeah, great. Good to know that old coot has no one else in the entirety of Eastern HQ he trusts enough to stand outside in the freezing weather for hours doing nothing."

Riza resisted the urge to clench her fists and roll her eyes. She tightened the scarf around her neck before gripping the ties on her simple black coat, attempting to pull it even closer to her. Both her and Mustang were dressed in civilian clothes for this particular "mission". She was grateful for that at least. Though the blue wool uniform was warm on most days, the flimsy military-issued black overcoat would not be nearly enough for this weather. "Colonel, if you keep complaining like that you'll miss the target and then this will all be for nothing."

Another scoff. Riza was beginning to become quite irritated with the noise. "Then maybe Grumman himself will let me off the hook and come out here on his own time."

"Right, because that will do wonders for your reputation."

She listened in satisfaction as her superior grumbled at the accuracy of her statement and kept his mouth shut. They'd been on the hunt for this particular crime lord for a few weeks now. The conniving man and his lackeys had bested Roy's team a few times already and General Grumman (along with all of Eastern HQ) was starting to get antsy. It wasn't like the upstart colonel to fail this many times in a row. It was straining everyone's patience and Mustang's ego. Hence, why Grumman had sent the pair out on the front lines trying to find some sliver of information that would work to bring the crime lord in.

Riza was a little wary of the plan, however, given the fact that their target knew the faces of the colonel and his team quite well by now. If they were accidentally spotted out here, it could mean serious trouble. The lieutenant absentmindedly huddled further into the shadows of the dark alley they had decided to hide in.

It remained silent aside from the distant hum of the bustling East City nightclub and Mustang's occasional expletives, but Riza took what she could get. She was as exhausted and cold as her superior, though she'd never admit it out loud. She hoped their target showed up sooner rather than later.

Suddenly, a movement out of the corner of her eye had the trained sniper immediately on alert. When she turned her head and watched a seemingly hidden door open in the opposite wall from where they stood, her eyes nearly bugged out of her head and her heart sunk.

How had she missed an exit right beside them? She nearly kicked herself for not investigating their hiding spot well enough. She'd thought the alley on the side of the club was the perfect place to stake out, but she realized with startling clarity as two figures (two distinctly familiar figures) stepped out of the doorway, that she had been dead wrong.

In that moment, as Riza immediately recognized their crime lord target and one of his bodyguards walking not even five feet beside them, she realized that she had mere milliseconds to make a decision. Her superior was a few steps away, his back still turned and his mind still focusing on how annoyed he was. Their target hadn't yet seen that they were there, but he inevitably would once he was fully out of the doorway. The lieutenant realized she didn't even have enough time to grab her gun beneath her many layers, even though the last thing she wanted to do was cause a scene and waste another golden opportunity.

In hindsight, the lieutenant would admit to herself that she really had no idea where the sudden thought had even come from. She was certain she had buried all such inclinations years ago, and nothing even resembling the terrifying emotion would ever come to the surface. But, as panic overtook her system in the mere second before the crime lord turned around and noticed The Flame Alchemist and Hawk's Eye standing next to him, it was the only thing she could think of and the only thing she could've possibly acted on.

With a very different kind of dread filling her stomach, Riza took a few quick steps over to her superior (her goddamn boss), grabbed his arm with desperation, spun him around, pushed him against the opposite alleyway wall and crashed her lips onto his.

She could practically feel the shockwave rush through his body as she grappled for the lapels of his over coat and angled her head just a touch. She still had no idea why her best idea for a cover was two horny adults exchanging saliva outside a nightclub, but she figured it was probably the quickest she'd ever thought on her feet.

Colonel Mustang was still frozen in place, his hands having come out to grip the sides of her arms (probably more in surprise than anything else). He wasn't moving his mouth at all but she probably couldn't blame him for that. At least he hadn't immediately pushed her away.

Riza waited in anticipation as the sound of the crime lord and his bodyguard taking a few steps, stopping once they noticed them, and then reacting filled her ears. A feeling of relief coursed through her body once she heard the footsteps stop, before the pair started chuckling, no doubt shaking their heads at the "couple" they stumbled upon in the throes of passion.

Too focused on their target's reaction, Riza barely even registered as her commanding officer finally got the memo, realizing they were not, in fact, all alone out here. His hands relaxed on her arms and his lips began to move in conjunction with her own. A strange, very foreign feeling began to emerge from the bottom of her stomach, but she ignored it in favor of keeping a listening ear on her surroundings.

Either the crime lord or his bodyguard (Riza wasn't really sure who, her mind starting to become regrettably foggy), scoffed and gave a simple, "Get a room," before the pair both laughed and their footsteps retreated from the alley.

Riza waited probably another full minute, again attempting to ignore the movements of Colonel Mustang as his hands meandered from her arms to her lower back, before she finally broke the kiss and immediately sneaked over to watch their target get in a nearby vehicle before he drove away.

As she watched the car go, she let out a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding in and relaxed her entire body against the nearby wall. That had been far, far too close. While her method of quick thinking certainly brought on a whole new slew of problems, she was thankful they had at least dodged that theoretical bullet.

Not really wanting to, given the uneasy feeling coursing through her, Riza let her eyes drift back over to her superior. He was still leaned up against the wall, a stunned expression on his face. She swallowed down the flare of desire that appeared as she watched the colonel take a few unsteady breaths, trying to keep his chest from heaving. He looked as dazed as she felt.

Riza gulped again when his dark eyes finally flitted back over to her. There were a thousand different emotions playing behind them. Shock. Confusion. And, dare she say it, a bit of desire as well. He opened and closed his gaping mouth a few times and looked to be struggling just to find the right words. She could only imagine how he was going to react, so she stepped forward and beat him to his inevitable questioning.

"Sir, I sincerely apologize." She had to work hard just to maintain eye contact. She could feel her cheeks heating and she was thankful the darkness would help shroud the outward signs of her embarrassment. She watched as Mustang's shock began to fade slightly at her words, but he remained silent as she continued. "I-I didn't know what else to do. It was my fault for not doing a thorough enough search of the alleyway and missing the other exit. I hope you'll forgive my blatant insubordination."

A rather tense pause ensued as the colonel merely blinked in her direction and shook his head, seemingly still trying to wrap his mind around the interesting turn of events. Riza waited with bated breath before he must've come to some conclusion as his entire body relaxed and a sly smile emerged on his face.

"Rest assured, Lieutenant, I'm not over here complaining." His voice was hoarse and cracked which added a rather unfortunate huskiness that Riza did not need right now.

"It's fine," he continued with that same breathlessness, the absurdity of everything seeming to dawn on him. "I was just...surprised, I guess. That's good quick thinking though. We would've been in deep shit if he'd realized who we were."

Riza managed to scramble enough dignity to nod her head in agreement.

Roy sighed again, though this one had nothing to do with his annoyance at his own superior. "Well, I guess that's that, then. Let's head home. I'm sure the general will want a full update in the morning."

At his sudden switch into business mode, Riza straightened up and followed his lead. "Yes, sir."

They began to walk down the alleyway in the direction he'd parked his car when Mustang suddenly stopped and turned back toward the lieutenant. She nearly let out a groan at the shit-eating grin that had emerged on his face. He leaned down closer to her and she resisted the temptation to take a whiff of his usual cologne.

"I will say this, though." Riza could only guess the next words out of his mouth. "I wouldn't be opposed to more stealth missions after all, if that's going to be your usual method of keeping our cover."

Riza's entire guilty, embarrassed countenance fell immediately at his words, replaced with her usual annoyance at his antics. She supposed she should be glad he was using his cocky, womanizing facade to ease the tension of what had just happened. She knew deep down he was doing this for her sake, getting her to relax and realize that it didn't need to be as big of a deal as she was making it out to be, but that didn't stop her from wanting to punch him in the arm for the look on his face.

She settled for rolling her eyes and heaving a put upon sigh. She walked past him without another word and gave a terse, "It's late, sir. We should head home."

She wasn't looking at him to see, but she could just picture the self-satisfied grin on his face. "Sure, sure," he spoke, following after her toward the car.

Riza vowed, as they silently walked back toward his car and made their way to their respective homes, that she would always do her best staking out and covering all her bases when they went on these types of missions. Her dignity could not possibly handle having to resort to such desperate measures again.

She also vowed never to speak a word to anyone of the way her lips still tingled long after she'd gotten home.