Another moment that wouldn't leave me alone. unbeta-ed.

Thoughts?

With her eyes closed she focused on the deep breaths and the small puffs of air being let out with little sighs. The soft press of lips she feels on her forehead entices a small but tired smile on her own. It's an i love you, thank you, you're amazing, all together in its own. The way he lingers close, her feeling his breath on the crown of her head is as much for her as it is for him.

"just to clarify - i don't hate you." Donna whispers quietly, opening her eyes and gazing at her husband with tired eyes but happiness shining through them. She needed him to understand, both of them communicating more with their eyes than actual words. The smile he gives her in reply gives her the i know, she indirectly already knew but felt better to have actually be confirmed.

Suddenly and quite without realization on her part, she feels tears run down her face. At first just a lone slow trickle, leaving a trail of wet saltiness behind. Soon though more are to follow its path and there is this sensation, this out of the blue overwhelming feeling in her chest. A heaviness settling, slowly but gradually growing stronger. All rational thought flees from her mind and while the loose tears are already a means of letting go of tightness in her chest there is also panic and fear settling deep within her, spurning the tightness on to hit her in an even more forceful attack. Air suddenly seems sacred and sparse, it only comes out in shaky and unregulated puffs and all the while there is just not enough coming back in. She tries so hard, she really does, counting in her head as to regulate her breathing. But all that it does is just fuelling her panic more, unexpectedly and without much of a choice it takes over her mind as her sight slowly vanishes from her, blurring the edges already.

"Hey, Donna, hey.. Shhh.. Breathe…" Harvey reacts quickly, squeezing himself close to her, wrapping an arm around her and guides her hand to her chest, settling it on the back of their few hour old baby girl. "come on… breath with her.. With us together… in… Out.." he whispers in her ear and kisses her head just above it, taking slow and deliberate breaths with his wife. In that moment he wished he wasn't holding the other twin with his other arm, knowing surely he would be able to help her more with all his capacities. He could just put their son down, yet even those few seconds he doesn't want to leave her alone with her panic attack. Both of them know about his, back then, it's even more reason for him to not leave her side until it has passed. He knows what it feels like, just as the rational part of her does. They had talked a lot about it beforehand, especially when he got triggered in their relationship, showing him she was not the only reason they affected him.

As soon as her hand settled on the little girl's back, the baby let out a longer sigh, she is snuffing around a bit before settling back again against her mother's chest. The snuffling and shuffling is enough to shift her focus entirely on the little bundle on her chest. So slowly but surely, Donna manages to match her breathing to their daughter's and to calm at least a slightest bit. It starts gradually, but once her mind is not fully controlled by the panic, a flash of warmth is spreading through her body because of that small weight on her chest. It is replacing the coldness which creeped through her veins during her panic attack, loosens her body and soul. Her limbs still have a tingling sensation in them, prickling under her skin in a way they do when you take a hot shower after being out in the cold. Gingerly she moves her fingers, whereas still tingling they feel feather light as she lifts them up to the soft tuff of copper baby hair and slowly strokes over it, a feeling as she has yet to get accustomed with.

"i'm sorry" escapes her in a whisper, and she is not quite sure who she is apologizing to. To Harvey for seeing her, Donna, his wife, the one who always knows what is happening lose control over herself like that; or to their children, just barely a few hours old and already having an overwhelmed mom whom is supposed to be their stability for at least the next 18 years; or simply to herself - because of course she knows she has flaws, and obviously she has given herself time to let it all out, but maybe, just maybe she neglected herself too much these past months - simply being busy growing these small humans.

"Don't you ever apologize for that!" he kisses her head. The press of lips against her hair anchors her. He knows what it feels like, he is not angry, he is there. Here. "You've had a hell of a day, of course you're allowed to be overwhelmed." His free hand takes hers and squeezes it, needing to physically underline it. They are here, they are in this together.

"I don't know what came over me." Donna sighs, her head leaning against his shoulder - now that he is closer. Slightly angling sideways to glance at him, eyes only moving down his chest where their son is sleeping as well, even leaving a slighted bit of drool on his freshly baked father. "I think i just realized it now. Two of them. Twice the tuition, twice the toys, twice the stress, twice the…" a soft press of lips against hers manage to stop the ramble and clam the panic that was about to crawl up again.

"Twice the fun… Twice the love… two healthy miniature versions of us." Harvey counters, each argument underlined with a simple and soft peck on her lips. Their foreheads resting against each other and noses brushing occasionally. "They are healthy, you are okay and they are finally here with us, that's all that matters. No amount of money in the whole world is able to give what this moment right here is giving us."

Another set of tears manage to stream down her face and cause Harvey to turn into a worrisome husband, but the hand previously holding their daughter back moves to cup his cheek while the other squeezes his hand it is still holding.

"Happy tears..hormonal but happy tears." she raps with a raw voice, the emotions running high and wild. The soft smile, just reserved for her does nothing to tame said emotions and causes a deep languid kiss. Thank you, you are the best, i love you.