Your name is Karkat Vantas. You are seventeen years old, don't have any friends, and you are in your last year of high school.

You also have no idea where the fuck you are.

You have just opened your eyes to find that you are in a small room- so small, in fact, that you cannot bring yourself to believe that the room is supposed to be this side at all. You don't have the faintest memory of how the hell you got here, and you don't recognise anything around you.

Experimentally, you push one of the walls. As you had assumed, it is not an actual wall and turns out to actually be just a piece of painted cardboard. Half-way through the cardboard's descent, it stops like it has hit something and you hear a shout from below it. Clearly, there's someone else here, but you aren't sure if you should be happy about that. You still don't know what's going on, after all, and for all you know this person could be dangerous.

"What is this, torture a blind girl day?!" the voice yells, sounding fairly aggressive. That's fair, you suppose. This situation feels shitty enough for you, not even being able to see where you are would really have made it that tiny bit more unbearable.

The only reasonable thing to do is answer her, and so you do, pulling the cardboard away from her at the same time.

"I'm not exactly having the greatest day here either y'know." You don't mean to shout, but your volume control is as bad as ever and that's exactly what you end up doing. "I'd ask if you know where the fuck we are, but if you're blind then you're probably even more confused than I am."

The removal of the cardboard reveals a girl several inches taller than you- but then, almost everyone is- with messy ginger hair hanging just to her shoulders. By far the most distinctive things about her, however, are her bright red glasses and her impressive scowl.

"Great, even the sighted person is useless," she snaps. "Whatever will a poor blind maiden do?" She feels around her sides like she's looking for something, then curses. "Of course I don't have my cane! Why would I have ever thought otherwise."

Before you can offer to help her, another voice chimes in from across the room.

"Hello?" Another girl you think. This one has a tint of French in her accent. You hear the sound of cardboard collapsing, followed by a squeak.

"Ah, fuck," another voice says. The new person apologises and you hear the cardboard brushing against other pieces, presumably as they lift the cardboard off the girl.

More and more voices chime in, you manage to catch at least ten before losing count until it becomes clear that there is just an egregious amount of cardboard in this room.

"Okay, clearly none of us know where the fuck we are or what in the shit is going on," you yell above the confusion, "but can we all agree that we need to move the cardboard before we do anything? Because personally I'm finding this bullshit really annoying and I'd like to get the whole thing over with now, thanks."

There's no disagreement on that, and with the work of all of you, the cardboard isn't even standing for another minute. You look over each member of the group as they come into view and find, unsurprisingly, that you don't know any of them. With the cardboard gone, you can now tell that there are sixteen people in the room, counting yourself. Sixteen people in an unknown location, all around the same age, with different styles, who are all complete strangers. What is this, a fucking anime?

Glancing around, you find that there's a pretty even gender split. Eight female presenting, eight male presenting, but unless you want to ask each and every person you have no way of knowing if anyone else is non-binary.

There are a few that stand out more than others- a tall girl with dark skin in a bright red skirt, an outrageously tall guy so thin he could snap in half, a blonde boy, who's actually around your height for once, wearing a pair of shades, another who must be over 6ft also wearing shades, though his are cracked so badly you don't know how he can see- but the more you look, the more you find that everyone stands out. Seriously, have you walked straight into the pages of a manga or something?

After everyone's gotten their bearings, you go to speak, to suggest that you all introduce yourselves or something, but you're cut off by a girl with long, dark hair, and the stupidest glasses you've ever seen.

"Unless one of you is going to reveal that you actually know where we are, or what's going on, or just about anything, really, I think we should just start introducing ourselves before this goes any further. I'll go first, I'm Vriska. You next, shortie."

She points at you, and you can feel everyone's eyes turning. Rude. First, she totally steals your thunder and now she's turning the spotlight on you? But you're in no position to argue, so you just sigh and go ahead.

"Karkat. What about you, blind girl?"

"Terezi Pyrope, legist extraordinaire. Someone else go, I don't know where anyone is."

It feels like an awkward silence is coming, but it's quickly shattered by a bubbly looking girl. Like, seriously bubbly looking. She has a bottle of bubbles in her pocket. She's also wearing a ridiculously fancy dress that looks like it costs more than your life.

"Hi! I'm Feferi. I'm reel-y confused at the moment, but I hope that once this is all sorted out, we can all be fronds!" She grins widely. Well, it's not like fish puns are the weirdest thing you've had to put up with today, and considering you woke up like twenty minutes ago at the most, that's actually sort of impressive.

Feferi gestures for a nervous looking boy in a wheelchair to go next. You briefly wonder how the fuck he got in here; the place doesn't exactly look accessible.

"Uh, I'm Tavros…" He gives a weak smile and trails off. He looks around awkwardly, like he doesn't want to pick on anyone, but eventually gestures to the short blond.

"Hey, I'm Dave." He finger-guns over to the French girl, who rolls her eyes before answering.

"Rose Lalonde." Rose nods along to the girl with the red skirt.

"My name is Kanaya."

This continues until the whole group has stated their names. You run through them in your head afterwards; Terezi, Feferi, Tavros, Dave, Rose, Kanaya, Gamzee, Aradia, Sollux, Nepeta, John, Jade, Eridan, Equius, Vriska.

Following the introductions, there's a short lull in the conversation before you take initiative and move on.

"Next item on the to-do list: figure out where the fuck we are, and how to get out," you propose.

"That sounds like a good plan!" Feferi agrees cheerfully. "Let's go!" She goes right on ahead out the door without hesitation. You can't quite figure out if that impresses or horrifies you.

Surprisingly, your much-too-large group of confused teenagers manages to organise themselves and move out of the much-too-small room with almost no complications. You had planned to offer to help Terezi, but by the time you turn to her she's already holding onto Dave's arm. Gamzee has ended up helping Tavros fit his wheelchair through the door, so you can't offer to help him either. You had been right- this place was not built with accessibility in mind.

The group moves down the corridor fairly slowly, but at least steadily, until you hear Eridan shout behind you.

"What the fuck? Where the hell is my phone?"

Well, that doesn't bode well. You aren't entirely sure how it took this long for anyone to check for something as simple as their phone, but evidently, it wouldn't have mattered since the various groans around the group and your own empty pocket tells you that every phone is absent. How completely incon-fucking-venient.

"So, none of us have our phones?" Kanaya inquires. She's met with fifteen irritated nods before she goes on. "They must have been taken by whoever put us in here. We should be able to find them as soon as we find our captor."

"Hopefully!" Feferi agrees. "For now, we should keep looking for any clues about who took us or how to get out!"

And, to their credit, everyone listens.

So, you search. And search. And search. And all that you find is a stupid amount of rooms, most of which are empty. There are sixteen eerily identical bedrooms, which no one wants to look into further, along with a kitchen, a dining room, a set of bathrooms and, of course, the room you woke up in. The most obvious door to go through is also the closest to that original room, with big decorated doors, but when you tried to get in it wouldn't budge. Not even Equius, who is clearly the strongest of the group, could get them to break.

Just as you all start to feel that searching for clues is utterly hopeless and head back towards those doors, you hear a voice echoing down the halls. Harsh and scratchy, and altogether unpleasant to listen to.

"Stupid sister," the mystery person grumbles, "making me late to my own game. She should just be staying out of this. Dumb bitches aren't good for anything."

You can physically see the "yikes" spreading across everyone's faces. This random voice in the corridor, presumably the person who kidnapped all of you, has only said three sentences and they've already proved themselves to be a misogynistic child.

"Okay," Rose says slowly. "So, it seems we may have been kidnapped by a child."

"Hey!" Ah, the kid heard her. "I'm older than all of you, shit for brains."

Somehow, you doubt that. Maybe it's the fact that they sound like a five-year-old. Maybe it's the fact that now that they're in view, you realise they're well under five feet tall. Or maybe it's all of these things combined plus the fact that they just stamped their foot like a literal toddler.

Never mind that. There are more important questions to be asking. Such as; "Where the hell are we, fuckass?"

"No, you don't get to know that yet," the kid snaps back. "There's an order to this shit. Follow the script!"

"The script?" you repeat incredulously. This fucker cannot be serious.

"Yes, the script! Stupid sister messed everything up, you weren't meant to see this shit yet. Go back to your cardboard rooms, now!" They have the audacity to stamp their foot again and point towards the first room. The movement makes the crudely made mask covering the top of their face shake.

"Oh, those?" Nepeta giggles. "We broke them! They were stupid and annoying and we knocked them all down."

The kid glares daggers at her. "You did what?!"

Aradia chimes in. "We broke them. They are now broken."

"You destroyed all my hard work?! Where is the respect?"

"What kind of respect do you think we owe you?" Vriska scoffs. "You've kidnapped us. You're lucky we only broke your work and not your face, asshole."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" They half-screech. You didn't think it would be possible for their voice to get any worse. "Useless fucking bitches…"

Kanaya's eyes narrow as she throws in her own two cents. "Your cardboard walls weren't very stable. Even if we hadn't merciless destroyed every last one, they would've collapsed anyway."

"Not to mention how badly they were painted," Jade adds.

"Yeah, they were a real mess!" Feferi agrees. "I don't think you actually tried all that hard…"

"Every part of it was awful. Tell us where we are and let us go," Vriska demands.

"All of you, shut up! Get into the hall now so I can start this game properly!"

"Or, hear me out here," Terezi interjects, "you answer us now and we don't beat your ass for it."

"If any of you fuckers try touch me, everyone will pay for it. You wanna be the bitch that gets everyone killed?" His voice drops. The annoyingness of it doesn't leave, but it does go low and dangerous.

An uneasy hush settles over the group as you all take in the words and try to figure out whether or not the threat is serious. You don't want to take that chance, but as it turns out Eridan doesn't feel the same. He flips the end of his scarf over his shoulder and takes a step forward.

"Yeah, right. I think it's pretty damn unlikely you're actually gonna hurt any of us-"

But he's cut off by the barrel of a gun being pointed directly at his face. The gun doesn't go off, thank fuck, but it's pointed right at him and the short asshole looks deadly serious.

The colour drains from his face. His mouth falls open- in shock or to speak, you don't know- but he doesn't move another muscle. He remains frozen, as do all of you for several moments until Feferi steps forward to pull him back to the group. Although he stumbles, you watch as he very deliberately makes sure he's standing between Feferi and the gun. No one wants to speak up after that, but after about half a minute, Aradia caves.

"Fine. Where do you want us to go?"

You're led down to the doors that wouldn't open before and oh, who'd have guessed it, they've been unlocked. They open into a hall that feels far too big compared to the rest of the building. While it's decorated sparsely, it also seems unreasonably messy. The only attractive part of the room is a corkboard hanging alone on the wall to your left, covered in artwork. You can't see the pieces clearly from here, but you can see that they're all bright, and happy drawings. Nothing like the rest of the building. You want to try to get a closer look, but the kid marches over and rips them straight off the board. The cruelty of having the only positive thing you've seen so far ripped away makes your heart sink.

With the pictures gone, you instead turn your attention to the stage at the end of the room. You don't know why you could possibly need a stage, but there it is. The curtains hang almost shut, only a sliver of the actual stage showing.

The asshole trots up to the front of your group and sneers at all of you. "Stay right the fuck here. The stage isn't set yet."

Vriska laughs right in their face. "Oh, you have got to be kidding."

"I'm dead serious, bitch," they bark. "Stay. Here."

You're about ready to kill them, but they have a gun and you do not, so you decide to not be a total fucking idiot. Judging by everyone's expressions, they're thinking the same thing.

They disappear for long enough that people start drifting into groups to have conversations. After a moment of deliberation, you decide to join them.

Who will you talk to first?
Selection: Kanaya, Rose, and Jade.

You head for a group of girls who look to be the sanest ones around. They're all chatting amicably, but none of them are hiding the tension and anxiety on their faces. Kanaya is the only one to see you coming, and she offers a tight-lipped smile. The other two turn.

"Hello Karkat," she says softly. "I don't suppose you've figured out anything that's going on?"

"Not even a little," you respond regretfully. "All I know is that that fucker has a gun, and we're unarmed, and I don't know about the rest of you but I'm not really jazzed at the idea of getting shot, so all we can really do is go along with whatever bullshit he spews at us."

"I disagree." Rose crosses her arms. "There's one of him, them, whatever pronoun that little shit prefers, and sixteen of us. Without the gun they're helpless. If we all worked together, we could disarm them easily. We shouldn't be spending this time sitting around, we should be making a plan, before they come back."

You decide you like Rose. She's smart enough to make a plan, and brave enough to convince you that she'd go through with it.

"But, Rose, we barely know each other. It'd be super difficult to make sure everyone would cooperate, and we don't know if that little green-suited douche has any back-up! Fighting back could be really risky, we wouldn't know what we're getting ourselves into until it's too late," Jade objects.

But you disagree; "No, I think people would listen. Rose is really convincing; I'd go along with her. But if you want to be a coward about it, go ahead."

Jade's face, which, until this point, had been pensive but still cheery, drops. Sweet turns to sour in an instant. Maybe you shouldn't have said that last bit.

Unfortunately, Kanaya also appears to be against you. "It may be wise to listen to what he says for now. We can always change our minds and fight later on, but we can't choose to un-fight him. If we do decide to fight, we should wait until we have plenty of information. As Jade says, he may have back-up hiding somewhere. Waiting is the most sensible action for now. Once we know for sure he's alone, then we can rip him to shreds."

She may still be agreeing with Jade, but you can't help liking Kanaya. Fighting may not be her first plan, but she's clearly willing to if the opportunity arises.

"Alright, that does make sense, I guess," you concede. "But shouldn't we have a plan in place, in case we do need to fight? I'd rather not end up fucking the whole thing up because we're an uncoordinated gaggle of fucking geese. "

Rose nods. "Of course. Jumping right in without a plan would be suicide. We all saw what almost happened to Eridan."

Your eyes flicker back to Jade as she lets out a long sigh. "How are you all so good with names already? I can barely even remember my own sometimes!"

Since the conversation seems to be derailing, you take this as your cue to duck out and move on to the next group.

Who will you talk to next?
Selection: Tavros, Sollux, and Gamzee.

After surveying the choices, you decide to talk to Tavros and the two guys hanging around him. Or, in clearly-high-guy's case, hanging off him.

Haha. You're calling him by a nickname even though you know his real name. Comedy.

As you approach, they appear to be engrossed in an important discussion, but when you actually get close enough to hear them:

"No, that's… No. Magnets work through-"

"Motherfuckin' miracles."

"No!"

Sollux sounds exhausted, and Gamzee definitely isn't listening to anything he's saying. You wonder how long this has been going on. You lock eyes with Tavros, who looks like he's about to explode from laughter. It must've been at least a while then.

"Everything's just miracles, brother," Gamzee says with a wide smile. He's half draped over Tavros' wheelchair, and you think it's probably a good thing that Tavros can't see him. He's having a hard-enough time not laughing already.

"No, no it isn't- Oh, hey KK." You've been spotted. "Do you mind if I call you that? I'm gonna anyway, but thought I should ask." Somehow, it's only now that you catch his lisp.

"I couldn't give less of a shit what you call me," you tell him, "I only came over here because I thought you were talking about something important."

"We were. Gamzee," he motions to him, even though you know who he is and it would've been obvious anyway, "doesn't understand magnets."

"You cannot look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you actually fucking do," you fire back.

He pauses. "Shut the fuck up."

That sentence is all that it takes for Tavros to finally break into peals of laughter and, holy shit, it is cute. He laughs in little snorts, and it freezes the three of you in place. Tavros brings his hand up to cover his mouth, but Gamzee pushes it back down from behind him.

"Now, that motherfuckin' laugh is the sweetest miracle of all," he drawls, curling himself around until he's just in Tavros' line of sight.

Tavros brings his hand back up to hide behind, smiling bashfully. "I, uh, I don't really agree, but, thank you…!"

"For once, that miracle bullshit is right actually," Sollux says. "That's a really cute laugh, dude."

You can't help agreeing. "Yeah, your laugh is kinda fucking adorable."

He actually manages to blush harder. "Oh, uh, um, thank you…"

This conversation has ended up even further derailed than the last one, so you think it's about time to move along again. You say goodbye to the boys, and get going.

Who will you talk to next?
Selection: Vriska and John.

Onward to the next group. You decide to talk to Vriska, the girl who stole your thunder back in that first room (which you definitely aren't still mad about, that would be petty and ridiculous), and John, who hasn't really done anything much so far. Since Vriska thinks she's oh-so smart, maybe she's figured out what's going on. (Or maybe you should just stop being petty and ridiculous.)

"Hi, Karkat." Vriska's voice is light, but she's clearly regarding you with suspicion. You can't say you blame her, in these circumstances.

"Hey!" John calls. "You've been talking to a ton of people, right? Has any one figured out what's going on yet?"

"Not that I've found. Everyone's just chatting with each other. There's only one person making an actual plan of action, and her plan's just to beat the ever-loving shit out of the little guy if we get the chance."

Vriska interrupts you with a snort. "Whose stupid ass plan is that? There's no way something that dumb would ever work!" Then she adds, slowly and condescendingly: "He has a gun, idiot."

Her flagrant disrespect makes you see red, and you snap back without bothering to think first. "I said "if we get the chance", you thick-headed shitnugget. Obviously, we'd disarm him first, we're not completely fucking brain dead. Not that it fucking matters anyway, since, if you'd let me finish, I would've told you that the plan's been side-lined anyway until we get more information!"

The change in atmosphere is immediate. You watch an angry flush spread over Vriska's face as she responds.

"I'm not a fucking mind-reader, I responded to what you had said. You're the shitnugget, marching over here just to insult me. Looks like someone has a Napoleon complex."

"Hey, hey, let's not fight over a miscommunication," John interjects. "It's not a big deal, we're all just stressed out."

"Speak for yourself. Did you do anything worthwhile, Karkat? Or did you just completely waste everybody's time?"

You scoff. "Like you accomplished anything?"

"At least we're making an effort, and not just coming up with stupidly stupid plans of stupidity!" she sneers.

"It's not even my fucking plan, why are you set on attacking me with it?" You don't mention the fact that you were all for Rose's plan.

"Maybe I'd forget about the plan if it were less stupid."

"Vriska, I could forget you if you were less stupid."

Ah. So, what you did there is called "making a huge mess of things and creating enemies". Even John, who has the biggest baby-face you've ever seen, looks about ready to hit you for it.

"I think I'm going to leave now," you add awkwardly.

"Please," Vriska responds scathingly, "be our guest."

You decide against saying anything else, and just go.

Who will you talk to next?
Selection: Terezi and Dave.

Terezi and Dave are nearby and seem to be having fun, so you make a beeline for them. Maybe talking to them can help you calm down a little.

Dave stops talking when he sees you coming and you see the corners of his mouth twitch. "Look, Terezi. It's Karkat."

And, in the most terrifying fashion, Terezi whirls around to directly face you. "Wow, I sure do love looking at people with my functioning eyes!"

Because you are a master of self-control, you don't scream, and you only flinch a little bit. You're actually very grateful that Terezi couldn't see it because you are completely certain she would've laughed at you. "Please never do that again."

"Do what?" She tilts her head curiously.

"You looked directly at me. But, obviously, you couldn't have known that, you can't see me, the universe just hates me and wants me to be terrified all the time! That could've been a fun little moment, Dave makes a blind joke, we all laugh, everything's fine, but no, because nothing can ever go normally in my life! It always has to be awful for me! Of course, you looked straight at me. What else could possibly have fucking happened in that moment."

"Oh, sweet," she gives you a toothy grin, "that's exactly what I was trying to do." Her smile almost reminds you of a shark- but in a good way. You decide that that's actually a really bad metaphor. Comparing girls to sharks is probably a bad idea overall.

"Hey, since you're here, settle this argument for us. Would you rather fight one horse sized duck, or a hundred duck sized horses?" Despite the complete stupidity of the question, everything about Dave tells you he's being dead serious.

"That is the single worst question that anyone has ever fucking asked me, but horse sized duck, obviously."

"No!"

"Yes!" Terezi looks utterly delighted, so you suppose you must've taken her side.

"It would be a massive duck. Just a huge ass fucking duck." Dave protests. "Do you know how strong swans are? Swan sized swans can break your whole arm, dude. Imagine the strength of a horse sized duck."

"It's not a horse sized swan though, you inflamed sparklefuck. Ducks are weak as shit with their little pathetic wings and their vacuous flapping beaks. I could beat the shit out of a duck, I don't care how big it is."

"Alright, okay, but consider this: fighting a hundred little horses would be a way cooler story."

It would've been entertaining to hear how he planned to defend that point, but you don't give him the chance, cutting him off straight away.

"I can't believe I actually have to explain this, you numbskulled imbecilic fuck-balloon, but no the hell it would not. It would be a boring as fuck story. How the shit would that be cool? "And then, get this, I hit another tiny horse." That's the lamest fucking story that could ever exist in the history of existence, shitstain."

"Yeah, that's a valid point, I guess, except no, it isn't, and you're wrong." Dave pushes his stupid shades up. "If the duck's a fucking wimp like you said, what's the point? Where's the challenge? The intrigue?"

"Doesn't have to be challenging. If I want it to sound impressive, I can just exaggerate, not that an assbitching douchepress like you would ever think of that. Easier fight, easier to make it sound awesome, and doesn't involve a hundred tiny fucking horses."

"Hearing your argument is making my own sound so much funnier," Terezi laughs. It occurs to you that her laugh sounds like a cackle. Then it occurs to you that that usually isn't a good thing. You should probably stop trying to describe Terezi. You're spectacularly awful at it.

"Why, what was your argument?"

"I wouldn't be able to keep track of a hundred tiny horses, lmao." Yes, she says lmao out loud.

"Well…" You hesitate for a brief moment. "That's fair."

"Alright, you two may have valid arguments," Dave interrupts, "but you're still wrong."

"And why is that?" You shoot back.

"Because." He pauses, pursing his lips. "Because fuck you. Fuck you is why."

Terezi snorts at him. "Ha. You know we're right. High five."

You, being an absolute idiot, manage to forget that she can't see your hand, so you both proceed to stand there for several seconds with your hands raised like complete fools until someone- Dave, of course, he's the only one of you with any bloody braincells- grabs your hands and pushes them together.

It's a pitiful excuse for a high five.

"That was a pitiful excuse for a high five," Terezi informs you.

"Yep. Yeah, that was entirely my fault. I'm a moronic douchefuck, and think I'm gonna go talk to someone else until the shame wears off."

"'Kay, see you never then." She laughs again. "There's no way to live that one down!"

"That's fair," you call back as you hurry to find a new, hopefully less embarrassing interaction to have.

Who will you talk to next?
Selection: Aradia, Nepeta and Equius.

You don't want to deal with the hipster douchecrumpet and bubbles girl right now, so you head for the final trio instead. You approach with some degree of caution, since you really haven't seen enough of them to know what to expect from this. Judging by the big smile on Nepeta's face though, you're probably going to be fine.

"Hi Karkat!" She waves, showing off her bright gloves. "How are you?"

"I'm confused and completely fucking terrified, but I always feel like that so who gives a shit! Any of you three got any clue what the hell is going on?"

Nepeta raises her eyebrows at you. "That's not a good feeling to have! And no," she sighs, "we're all purr-etty confused too."

"The whole situation is… less than ideal," Aradia comments, absentmindedly twirling a strand of her hair.

"Bit of a fucking understatement, but sure. Less than ideal does accurately describe this bullfuckery." You manage to catch her eye as you finish speaking, and when you do, you catch a glimmer of… something. You can't quite place it, but it's an odd contrast to her apathetic voice.

"I suppose it could be considered an understatement." She considers this for a moment before nodding. "Are you not joining us in conversation Equius?"

"I refuse to lower myself to interaction with one so crass." Even behind his cracked shades, you can feel his glare boring into your skull. Holy shit, that's one intimidating dude.

"Wow. Fucking, okay, I guess." What can you say, really?

Nepeta frowns and pokes Equius' arm. "Don't mind him, Karkitty, Equius is just a little grumpy." That's the second nickname you've gained so far. "He'll purr-obably lighten up when we find out what's going on!"

"Don't patronise me, Nepeta," he sighs, but a smile's tugging at the corners of his mouth. Seems these two have become fast friends.

"Whate-fur you say, Equius!"

Maybe it's the cat puns, cat ears on her hat, or the claws attached to her gloves, but you think Nepeta may possibly be a furry. You get the same vibe from Equius, but you'd rather not think too much about that one.

"Look, if you're gonna judge me for swearing, then we're gonna have a big-ass problem, because I have no intention of stopping and we don't have a damn clue when we're getting out of this hellhole."

"Overlooking his language would be the most advantageous thing to do," Aradia helpfully contributes. Her calmness in this situation is somehow both unnerving and comforting.

Nepeta doesn't speak in your defence, but she does pout at Equius pleadingly, which is just as good in your opinion, and clearly does help since the next thing he says is:

"I suppose I could… attempt to see past it." He doesn't sound enthusiastic, but it's something and at least he doesn't look like he's about to twist your head off to use as a bowling ball anymore. However, he still doesn't seem to like you, and you get the feeling it'd be best to just move on.

"Y'know what?" You say. "I was gonna leave soon anyway. I'll just do that. Bye."

"Oh… Okay. Bye, Karkitty!" Nepeta seems disappointed, but she smiles anyway.

"You won't be far away," Aradia points out. "There isn't much use in making a big deal of this."

Not seeing a point in waiting for Equius to speak, you wave to the girls and go on your way.

Who will you speak to last?
Selection: Eridan and Feferi.

As you walk over to the last two left to speak to, you pick up on a couple things. Firstly, that Eridan is blatantly trying to flirt. Probably not the best thing to do at this exact moment, but whatever. But secondly, and more importantly, Feferi is clearly not interested. She's doing that laugh that you recognise as the "I'm laughing so I don't have to answer you" laugh. It's probably a good thing you're interrupting.

Even though they clearly haven't gotten anything done, you start the same way you've been starting with everyone else: "Hey, either of you fuckwits figured out what the fuck is happening?"

"Well." Eridan hesitates. "No. We've just been getting to know each other." You notice a slight stutter over the 'w's. There's a slight grimace on his face after each one, so you decide it's the sort of thing you should just ignore. Not that it was ever really worth bringing up in the first place.

"Yeah!" Feferi looks much more comfortable already. "Just making small talk, y'know?"

"Cool, great, so productive. I've been trying to get information from people, but apparently no one knows a fucking thing."

"Not surprisin' comin' from this lot," Eridan snorts. "They barely seem intelligent enough to function."

"Rude, but based on what I've seen so far, yeah. They may be nice and all, but most of them are just fucking idiots."

Feferi crosses her arms. "Hey! That's not nice! We should be trying to make friends, not anemones!"

"Oh no," you correct her, "I like them- well, most of them, there's a few that really make me want to eat a fucking brick- they're just all kinda imbeciles."

Eridan huffs and tosses the end of his scarf over his shoulder much more dramatically than was necessary. "I don't really care for any of them, but we do agree on their stupidity."

"Great. We have a whole one thing in common." However sarcastic you're being, you do actually feel the start of a connection with him. He doesn't seem half bad so far. Hopefully nothing happens to ruin that.

"Guys!" Feferi whines. "We have to be frondly, we don't know how long we might be stuck here! It's important to get along with everyone."

You decide to just acquiesce. She does have a point after all. "Okay, fine, some of them are smart. Like Kanaya. Kanaya seems pretty smart."

Eridan huffs again. "I don't know who that is, so I guess I'll just have to take your word for it."

"But… Eridan, we all fin-troduced ourselves earlier!" Feferi's fish puns are starting to get a little out of hand.

"Wasn't listening."

"Yeah, I kinda got the vibe you didn't give a shit," you say. "I'm guessing you don't know my name either."

He flushes. "Well, it's just embarrassing to admit it to your face, but… no."

You consider not telling him. You really do consider being a dick and letting him suffer. But then you remember that Feferi's right and also that she'll probably tell him anyway if you don't. "My name's Karkat, and I'm not telling you again, so you better get it drilled into your flailing asscactus of a brain."

He gives you a massive, shit-eating grin. "What was that?"

So, it turns out he's a total bastard. You like him a lot. Just as a witty response comes to you, everything is thrown out of your brain by the most horrifying rush of microphone feedback you've ever heard. Several people- yourself included- stumble from the shock of it, and the groups end up drawing back together. Probably for the best, since the curtains promptly swing back to reveal that the short asshole has returned.