"How do I look?"

Leliana had been sitting at the base of an old windmill, patiently waiting for Elissa to finish up with Redcliffe's blacksmith. Crafting armor took quite a while, and it was impressive enough that Owen had gotten so close to perfection without Elissa even there.

She tore her eyes from the weeds she was weaving together. What she'd been making, Leliana didn't know. It was something she used to do as a child. It was relaxing, a great distraction, and Maker only knew how desperately Leliana needed distracting right now.

Doubly so, if Elissa decided to wear that ever again.

Leliana gulped as she got up. The twigs fell from her hands, but she didn't notice. She was too busy just...looking.

She had seen a Grey Warden in uniform once before, when she was younger, and she'd been just as stunned before as she was now. The blues and silvers weren't the exact same as they were on the Orlesian Warden she had met, but then, they weren't in Orlais, were they? There was a distinctly Fereldan style to the armor—the blue jacket was lined with black fur. There were other details, smaller ones, but Leliana didn't care.

Elissa shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat. "Hello? Anyone home?"

Leliana blinked, forced her eyes up to Elissa's so they wouldn't travel where they shouldn't. "Yes, sorry." She coughed. "What was the question?"

"How does it look?"

It took every fiber of her being to keep from reaching out and touching her. Every ounce of willpower Leliana had was put into remaining still.

"It looks great," she said. "Very...Grey Warden-y."

Elissa laughed. "Grey Warden-y?"

Leliana couldn't think of a better description. Her mind was wandering, examining every inch of the woman in front of her. She'd never really had an excuse to look at her like she was now, but if Elissa asked, she could just say she was impressed with the craftsmanship. Knowing Elissa, though, she'd be too embarrassed to ask.

"What else would it look like?" Leliana said defensively.

Elissa grinned as she shrugged. She seemed proud of it, the armor. She was very happy. She wouldn't even notice if Leliana said something risque, she was so excited. It was adorable, endearing. It was good to see her smiling like that.

"I'm starving," Elissa said.

Leliana shook her head a bit, trying to empty it of any inappropriate thoughts, and said, "Oh, I'm aware. Trust me."

"You can hear my stomach growl?"

"I've had to listen to it for several months."

The indignant look on Elissa's face—priceless. She would never admit it, but a lot of the time they spent together, Elissa would be eating. She'd never admit to hiding snacks from the other two Wardens in their party, but Leliana was well aware she did that too. Not that she judged. Again, Leliana found it rather adorable. The three of them could tear through their dinners like no other, so it was no surprise that Elissa would use the little coin she gathered to buy herself food. Leliana just thought it was funny.

All that meant was she could bring Elissa food and she'd be happy, so it made her life easier.

"You're not very with it today, are you?" Elissa asked.

"I...have a lot to think about."

The look Elissa gave her, that one wasn't indignant. It was...something. Leliana couldn't put her finger on what it was exactly, but it was looks like that that made her doubt Elissa was totally oblivious to her flirting, or the way she looked at her. Maybe Elissa just didn't want to admit it to herself, and that was why she was so awkward.

"Marjolaine?"

The name ripped any thought of romance from Leliana's mind. It left her with a bitter taste in her mouth and a very firmly rooted sense of inadequacy.

"No," Leliana said. "Believe it or not, I haven't really been thinking about her. Or...that, actually."

"Hmm. What have you been thinking about, then?"

Leliana shook her head, dismissing the question. "Nothing."

"But that's not what you just said."

Leliana made a face at her and Elissa laughed again. She was cleverer than she gave herself credit for, than Leliana sometimes gave her credit for. It was hard to forget the petulant child Elissa had been when they first met, the one that didn't really think before speaking. Elissa still didn't do that often, but when she did, Leliana would notice.

"Are you...using my own words against me?"

Elissa smirked. "Perhaps."

"And what's got you in such a good mood on this fine morning?"

Elissa shrugged. Those blues...they suited her very well. The dark tones contrasted nicely with her skin, blended well with her hair. "Good company and good rest will do wonders for a person, Leli."

She snorted. "Where'd that nickname come from?"

Again, the Warden shrugged. "You don't like it?"

"Maybe I do," Leliana said mysteriously, backing up the path towards the castle. "Maybe I don't."

She spun on her heel, knowing Elissa would follow.

"Didn't we just agree not to keep secrets from each other?"

"This one won't hurt."

Elissa jogged a few steps to catch up to her. "It'll hurt my feelings."

Leliana outright laughed at the joke, looking at her companion like she'd grown a second head. "I wasn't aware our fair Warden had those. My apologies."

"You're calling me pretty, now, huh?"

Leliana gave Elissa her best smirk, one with just enough sauciness behind it to make her squirm, and it worked. Elissa's face paled and she looked away immediately, swallowing deeply.

"I never said I didn't think you were pretty."

Elissa stammered, "Well, I... Neither did I."

Leliana arched an eyebrow. It was an expression she was fond of making. "That's not what I seem to recall. If you'd like to rescind that, though, I wouldn't complain."

There it was. That adorable flush around her neck, on her cheeks.

"Stop doing this to me."

"Doing what?" Leliana asked, feigning innocence.

Elissa sighed, exasperated, and gestured to herself. "This! Making me blush. I don't know!"

"It's not hard," Leliana giggled.

"Well, it's...it's not fair."

"Oh?" Leliana paused, turning to face Elissa. "And why is that, dear Warden?"

Elissa just looked at her like she was a clueless idiot, or maybe like she was crazy. Leliana couldn't tell—she was surprised, that much was obvious, and very flustered.

"B-because," Elissa said. "It's not."

Leliana made a tsk-ing sound and took a step back, towards the brush and away from Elissa. If she went, Elissa would follow. She always did. It almost hurt how innocent Elissa was about all of this, how nervous she was about all the wrong parts.

"That's not a good answer," Leliana said.

Elissa threw her hands up. "You're teasing me!"

"Who said I was just teasing?"

Elissa's face turned all shades of red and she reached out for Leliana's arm, but she twisted away and jumped back another step.

"The chase is part of the fun, my dear."

Elissa's legs were burning. Leliana was so fast.

She came to a stop, heaving in a huge gasp of air, and fell over backwards in the grass. Heat rushed over her skin and sweat poured down her face, but she felt so alive it was ridiculous. Her heart was pounding so hard she could feel it in her skull.

This wasn't a game. Or it was. It wasn't a lie, that much Elissa was sure of.

She draped an arm over her eyes to shield them from the sun. Somewhere nearby, she heard leaves crunching as Leliana rejoined her.

"Is this payback for making you run up that mountain?" Elissa asked.

Leliana giggled. It was such a sweet sound. If Elissa's heart could beat any faster, she was sure it would. "Perhaps."

The bard crouched beside her and Elissa moved her arm, narrowing her eyes at Leliana. "That's my thing, not yours."

Leliana spread her hands helplessly, but she was still smiling. She was as out of breath as Elissa was. Thank the Maker for that; Elissa didn't want to be embarrassing herself in front of Leliana. Not now.

She propped herself up on her elbows and Leliana stood.

"So..." Leliana tilted her head. "Not teasing, huh?"

The grin she got in return made her heart skip a beat. "No."

Leliana offered a hand up and Elissa took it, perfectly fine with allowing her to yank her up on her feet. "I think you're going to have to prove that."

"You didn't catch me," Leliana retorted. "Maybe I'll consider it if you can."

And then she was gone again.

Elissa sucked in a huge breath, held it, and released before even attempting to follow. This woman was so impossible. She knew just how to get under Elissa's nerves, and it was so infuriating in all the right ways.

Leliana didn't run as fast as before, Maker be praised. She stayed just out of reach, urging Elissa to follow, both literally and figuratively. It was hard for her to resist as is, but Leliana kept telling her to keep up, made a few jokes about how she had to catch her, and Elissa was all for it.

She was never one to turn down a challenge.

The air was so clean here. No sign of birds, but then, it was winter. It felt good to be out, enjoying herself, and not worrying about anything else in the world. There was no Blight, no spirit possessing her, no Marjolaine trying to kill Leliana. It was just them.

Water was gurgling nearby, and eventually, Leliana slowed to a walk. Elissa didn't slow whatsoever, instead racing to her side and expecting a trick, but she caught Leliana's arm, and said, "Caught you."

Leliana rolled her eyes good naturedly. "Come on."

She took Elissa's hand and pulled her in the direction of the water, but Elissa pulled back, determined. "I was promised something."

The bard laughed and said, "I said I'd consider it." She tugged again, this time impatient. "Come on. I want to show you something."

Elissa allowed Leliana to lead her along. She could smell the water. It wasn't salty like she was accustomed to, but it was just as pleasant, left the air tasting crisp and clean. Another pang of homesickness shot through Elissa. She would do anything to see Highever again, no matter how unlikely their survival became. She wanted to see her home one last time.

Leliana had led her to a small clearing. A small stream gurgled through, breaking a rather peaceful silence. Dead leaves and twigs were scattered about, with little green save from a few weeds here and there.

Their hands fell apart and Elissa found herself missing the contact, even if they were both wearing gloves. It felt so brief, too brief.

Leliana crunched her way down to the stream and sat, knees drawn up to her chest. Elissa, like the lost puppy metaphor she seemed to fit so well, followed without hesitation, sitting closer than she'd typically dare. She couldn't help herself. Even if this was same game Leliana was playing, Elissa was too far gone to just forget about it.

"In the summer, this place is filled with Andraste's Grace," Leliana said softly.

"How'd you know about it?"

"Do you think all my time in Ferelden was spent on Denerim and Lothering?"

Elissa looked away, feeling somewhat sheepish. She didn't want to say yes, but that's exactly what she thought. "I forget most people aren't trapped at home."

Leliana offered a smile, but it was sad. "You're not anymore."

"No, but if I was, none of this would have happened. No Blight, no mad rush around the entire country trying to save people's lives." She inhaled a shaky breath, watched the water. "My family would still be alive."

"You miss them a lot, don't you?"

Elissa nodded meekly. "Maybe it's stupid, but..." She shrugged. "I'm tired of talking about me and my problems."

Leliana's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh?"

"All I do is complain."

"I like listening," Leliana said. She followed Elissa's gaze across the small stream, to the other side and the forest beyond. "If I didn't, how would I know how calming you would find something like this?"

Elissa made a face. "What?"

"Whenever we pass a river or a stream, or cross one, you get this sad look in your eye," Leliana explained. "At the tower, I watched you wander off to sit in the lake, and yesterday, I watched you sit on the shoreline. Highever is on the coast."

Was that...?

Elissa's eyes narrowed as Leliana talked, tuning her out. Whatever she was talking about, Elissa was sure it was sweet and probably would've made her heart melt, but just in the other side of the stream, she was sure she saw it.

"Hang on."

Elissa hopped up and over the water, landing in a tangle of brambles and twigs. The brush was thick here, thicker than she'd anticipated, and she wasn't thrilled with the way everything clung to her clothes. They were brand new—she wasn't hoping to rip them up already, but if she was going to, Elissa figured Leliana was worth it.

Buried under a layer of dead branches was a small bush. Many of its leaves were dried out, but one blossom stood out in the rest of the color palette. Snow white, with a blood red center, and yellow sprouts coming from a brown center.

If Leliana hadn't mentioned she knew this was somewhere they grew, Elissa wouldn't have even seen it.

She made her way back to the Orlesian, grinning triumphantly. She landed deftly this time, trying harder than she should have to impress. To add a little bit of unnecessary flair, she made a show of bowing and presenting the flower as dramatically as possible.

Leliana laughed and rolled her eyes as she accepted the small gift. "How'd you even see this?"

Elissa shrugged as she sat. "I can do a lot of things that you'd probably think were crazy."

"Like what?"

Leliana untangled her braid and wove the flower stem into it, watching as Elissa reached into the stream. She had had a lot of time to practice yesterday. Plenty of time to play and enjoy herself, and now she had something to show for it.

"Wynne told me that every mage is good at something," Elissa explained. "She's good at healing magics. Morrigan is...whatever the fuck you want to call what she does. I couldn't figure out what it was that I was good at, but this thing inside me keeps pushing these types of spells, and..." She trailed off as she pulled her hand back out of the water. A perfectly round piece of ice was sitting in the palm of her hand. "I can't do this without water right in front of me, but..." She shrugged. "I still think it's neat."

Leliana smiled and took the ice for herself, turning it over in her hands. "It's very neat, Elissa."

"I've spent my entire life hating magic and everything related to it," Elissa said as Leliana returned the ice to the stream. "It brought me nothing good, but here I am now, and I can't stop thinking that if I wasn't what I am, I wouldn't be here."

"The Maker—"

Elissa cut her off. "I don't want to hear about Him right now. I want to just...appreciate this."

She worried she might have offended—Leliana was very defensive about such things, and this would be prime time to get into an argument. Elissa regretted the words and the rudeness as soon as it left her mouth.

But Leliana didn't look upset. She looked like she understood.

"Who's to say if I wasn't a mage, I wouldn't have been married off to some man I couldn't stand?" Elissa wondered aloud. "I could be miles away from this very spot and never know it existed."

Her eyes flicked over to Leliana. She was just listening, but Elissa's implications, she hoped, were clear. Leliana was always so perceptive.

"Are you happy?"

Elissa swallowed deeply and sat up a little straighter. That was a question. That was the question. What sane person would say yes, they were happy they were one of three Grey Wardens left to fight the darkspawn?

"Yeah, I am."

She meant it. She might regret not being able to make amends with her parents and she might miss them terribly, but their deaths made her who she was now, and Elissa thought the woman she was today was someone she could be proud of, someone they could be proud of. If she hadn't been flung into this position, would she have ever outgrown that resent?

After all, she still had Aedan. He was all she ever let herself have, so she knew no better, and he had been all the family she'd ever needed. They had been inseparable as children, teenagers, even adults. Where one went, the other followed.

And now, she was just as attached to this woman sitting beside her. An Orlesian bard, no less, but it didn't matter who she had been before. This person, this Leliana, was what mattered, just like who and what Elissa had been before didn't matter. This was who they were now, when it mattered.

When had Leliana gotten this close to her?

"Am I allowed to prove it to you yet?" she whispered.

Elissa gulped, but she nodded. Maybe this was a mistake. This could blow up in their faces tomorrow, but she decided she didn't care. If she died tomorrow, did she want to regret missing out on this?

No, no she didn't.

She was giving Elissa the chance to change her mind, but she didn't want to. They were so close, Elissa could smell that flower in her hair, feel Leliana's breaths on her face. She wasn't brave enough to do what she wanted. She squeezed her eyes shut and begged, prayed, that Leliana would just get it over with.

When Leliana kissed her, she swore her heart was going to beat straight out of her chest. She was so gentle, so soft, so painfully slow. Everything about it was exactly what Elissa refused to let herself desire, but now that she had it, she didn't think she'd be able to stop.

Leliana was gone as quickly as she came, ending the kiss before it ever began. She let out a small, nervous laugh, and a smile crept over her lips.

"I think I'm going to need more proof," Elissa said.

Leliana's laugh was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard.