Fire. Red hot and dangerous, flickering and dancing. It was so beautiful, so strong. She envied it, envied the fear it inflicted in man and beast alike. The world would be so much simpler if she could just...harness it for herself.

Tears welled in her eyes. Failure. Not once, not twice, but three times. Elissa had never failed anyone so spectacularly as she had now. The world was crumbling around her, and she couldn't keep up. How had she even found herself here?

Behind them, smoke rose above the trees. The scent of blood and death wafted through the air. Screams could be heard in the distance. All her life, she had been trained, raised, for battle, and when it finally came, she was so woefully unprepared. She was bleeding from so many small scrapes and cuts, she couldn't keep track. Her legs could barely hold her up; they were ushering her along, but she was almost incapable of walking, let alone jogging or sprinting.

Her eyes met Aedan's. Hard and expressionless, he wordlessly nodded her on. He was everything she wanted to be, everything she aspired to be. Strong, outspoken, brave. Elissa was all of those things, but Aedan had always been better, always been the favored of the twins. He was the perfect son to the perfect family, whereas she was the mistake.

And now, he was all she had.

Elissa had only been so scared one other time in her life. It was burned into her memory like an ugly scar. She could never forget, never pretend. It would always be there, ebbing away at her strength and energy even when it shouldn't.

"Hurry," came the urgent command. The voice was gruff, but not unkind. It belonged to Duncan, Commander of the Grey Wardens. "We cannot risk being caught."

Words failed her. Somehow she wanted to convey her lack of willpower, her desire for them to just abandon her to Howe's men. She didn't belong with the Wardens. She wasn't fearless. She wasn't a leader. She was barely anything other than a token for her family. Aedan was everything, and here she was, somehow being held up to his standards.

Elissa was far too devastated and scared to believe that Duncan had been at Highever for her. Not Fergus, not Aedan, not even the knight he was going to settle for, Ser Gilmore. He wanted to recruit her.

They were so lucky to have had Duncan there when they did. Aedan was far more adamant about staying behind than Elissa had been. And if Aedan had decided to stay and die, Elissa would've done the same. Duncan was the only reason they were alive.

She squeezed her eyes shut. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. Would this ever truly settle?

Elissa stopped as Aedan continued on. Behind them, their home was burning. Their friends were dying, their family being slaughtered. Everything she had ever known, gone. It had happened so fast. Everything from the last hour was blurred together. One minute, the entire family was gathered in Fergus' chambers. The next, Fergus was marching south and Howe was betraying them. And now, somehow by the grace of the Maker, she was standing here, following the footsteps of Highever's army.

Sam, Aedan's mabari, stopped with her, nudging her leg. A low whine rose from his throat, as if warning her of the dangers of hesitating.

Her eyes fell from the billowing plumes of smoke, down to the big brown eyes of the dog. The intelligence there never ceased to amaze her. He was wise beyond that of any human Elissa ever met, braver than any warrior, kinder than any mother. Sam was such a pure soul it threatened to make her break down in earnest.

Memories buzzed through her mind's eye. The first time her and Aedan had gone hunting alone. Their first time exploring the small forest between the highway and Highever. Climbing the smaller towers and the walls of the keep, looking out over the Waking Sea together. It had been marvellous, an astounding sight. It still took her breath away.

"Sister," Aedan called. His voice drew her back to the present and she took a step backwards toward him.

It was impossible. All of this, it was utterly insane. How had they let this happen?

"Come on!"

His laughter called to her, pulling her further and further from the soldiers and Fergus, towards the gate. Elissa raced after her brother as quickly as her legs would carry her. Men were drilling all around them. Sharp, deep commands crashed through the sounds of metal on wood. It was all so fascinating, so alluring.

She longed to stay, to practice here, but Aedan was persistent. He wanted to show her something.

"Come on!" he begged, doubling back to drag her on. Wind tugged at his curly hair, leaving him breathless but nonetheless excited. His grin was contagious, spreading to her own lips, and she couldn't help picking up the pace. His energy, his excitement, it was infectious.

He was growing again, Mother said, and would quickly be too strong for her to wrestle with, but she was still faster. She jumped past him, giggling as they weaved through the guards. Aedan hissed in annoyance, putting on a burst of speed, but still, she remained in the lead. It was so easy to outrun him; all she had to do was concentrate on that little bundle of energy that was almost just out of reach.

She was sure she could keep up with him wrestling too, if it came to that, though Elissa doubted their mother. She didn't know what Elissa could do, what she was capable of. She was just mad Elissa didn't want anything to do with being a proper lady, a fact their father was all too pleased with. He once said he reminded her of one of their ancestors, Haelia Cousland. Loud and rambunctious, and happy to be "one of the boys."

Elissa had taken that compliment with pride. After all, it wasn't everyday someone told her she was not too different from the woman who ended the lycanthrope plague.

As she slowed, Aedan barrelled straight into her back, knocking them both to the ground in a tangle of limbs. Her chin snapped off the cobblestone and pain shot through her jaw.

"Do you think Fergus is safe?" Aedan whispered.

Elissa just blinked, hearing but not, eyes transfixed on the fire between them. Duncan had gone to hunt, leaving the two of them to their own devices, trusting they could figure out how to start a fire. Neither had spoken during the task, instead opting to sit on opposite sides and wait. In any other scenario, Elissa knew she would've been the first to actually attempt a conversation with her brother, but not now.

It had been a week, and they weren't even halfway to Ostagar, having to forgo the roads and highway in fear of Howe's men. Over the course of that week, Elissa had cried, sat silently, and forced herself to keep up without complaint. And while Elissa shut down, Aedan seemed driven by their father's demand for revenge. He threw himself to whatever Duncan asked of them, questioned him on the Wardens, just tried to pretend nothing happened.

Elissa admired him for it. She wished she could do that. She wished Oren's little body wasn't burned into her dreams.

A hand curled around her arm gently, pulling her back. "Elissa?"

"Yes," she said, voice cracking. Her throat was drier than sand. She had hardly spoken since they first escaped Highever. It didn't feel right to talk.

"How do you think Fergus is?"

She blinked again, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't want to think about it."

Aedan frowned, looking as if he was going to berate her with more questions, but he thought better of it, and just nodded. "I don't think I want to, either."