Star Wars 5: Hardcore Realpoliticking (Or Bismark's wet dream)(2)

Coruscant, The Senate

This is a very, very big room.

It should house at least 10k senators, plus guards and assistants.

To think that we are going to screw with so many people...

I would have expected a more murderous comment from you but... I think you meant the inner meaning and not the thing that comes quick in your mind with those words.

"Esteemed senators of the Republic, today we have been graced by the kind visit of the... governor-general of Tatooine and the stabiliser of the Outer Rim, Shinhachi."

He is stuttering! Grand Moff Tarkin never stutters!

Maybe we got him truly shocked since we are of the droid kind and we manage to 'appear' lively in our behavior.

Holy shit, we made Tarkin stutter!

I think I got it the first time around, Boldy, no need to fangirl like a virgin about it.

Loud chattering and protests emerged from the chambers, leading to some annoying oppression that tortured my poor audio receptors.

But I waited, patiently. I knew that people liked to whine and politicians were the worst example of that.

Five minutes later and a quick 'breath' the Senate went quiet, giving me the opportunity to speak.

"Esteemed senators of the Galactic Republic, I don't think I have to present myself since the Supreme Chancellor has kindly provided you with my name and my titles. What I can say that hasn't been told yet is that I am proud to reveal grand admiration and glee at the awakening of the great Republic, something that my allies share and wish for you to know."

Murmurs between the various factions turned loud for a moment, but the Steward recalled back to order giving me the opportunity to continue.

I crossed my arms close to my back.

"This is why I pledge Tatooine's allegiance together with our fellow allies' ones to the Galactic Republic."

A sound massacre emerged from that surprising news, several pacifists ready to launch a riot to this situation.

They had shown until now apathy to Tatooine and their independent alliance because their alignment was still unclear and they had kept a massive army and fleet in their spacezones.

"Your words brings joy to the Republic, Governor Shinhachi. But I suppose you would agree that words fail to assure an official guarantee from those you represent."

I nodded at Tarkin's rightful comeback. "I truly understand, Supreme Chancellor. This is why I offer you this."

Uploading the little protectionist laws I had picked up to compile during my return to Tatooine, I sent it to the Chancellor's pod. The man glanced at his terminal and opened the file, reading it carefully before closing it with a perplexed expression.

"Those are quite some interesting demands. Those.. 'limited trade zones' highlight general sections of some planets where trade is authorised. May you explain this idea of yours?"

"I have studied some interesting registers left from the Hutt Empire about illicit trading between the Imperials and the black market. I wish to close down the black market from accessing the planets with our appliance to the Republic, to avoid crime to once more pester our homes."

Pesky bastards were trying to create some Cliques in Tatooine, kind of like Pre-1937 China.

Man, I miss Hearts of Iron 4.

Please stop, we got real politicking here and-

We shall do what a good Europa Universalis 4 player do... create an hugbox*.

"This kind of demands would be unfair for the fellow planets of the Republic, Chancellor. I think this is not something acceptable."

Padmé was already pissing me off, what a glorious day to be quite calm with the universe.

"Just like it is unfair that a politician hold the roles of Queen and Senator, Queen Amidala?"

The question rose quite the loud comeback from the entire pacifist wing but Tarkin silenced them. "While I understand the concern you all might have regarding this document, I have little to none suspicion that this is aimed to cripple a part of the Republic, quite the opposite if I have to be honest."

He then turned my direction with a tired look. "Governor Shinhachi, I would suggest you restrain yourself from baiting senators within this august body."

I nodded, thinking up of ways to prank people there without making it sound like a bait.

Maybe we should just behave there without getting unwanted attention on us.

Bah, they wouldn't take a hit on us with the big army we currently have.

Yet... I feel like we are forgetting something.

You are probably having some dumb situationts that could possibly screw us but... they are impossible. Just go back to sleep.

...I hate you both.

"Yet I think I have to also add that I have some news about... the former chancellor."

Tarkin frowned at this. "Truly? Have you perhaps captured the man?"

I knew that Wilhuf didn't want to deal with a situation as difficult as Palpatine's one was so early on in his mandate.

So I graced him with an unrequested but acceptable wish. "No. Sadly, Sheev Palpatine's body was found in an open tomb in Dathomir. Further research found out it was the dark-side practicers' doing as they found the man too much desperate and unstable to support."

Another cacophony of loud sounds followed, this time it was mostly positive from the coalition supporting Tarkin and I knew why.

Palpatine was a dangerous destabilising element if he had been brought back to Coruscant for interrogations and a trial.

Confessions would have brought to light the inner workings of the Trade, Banking and Military factions' deals and forced a purge to happen within the factions.

The Sith's death took the only one that knew about those dealings away from possible interrogations.

"This is.. saddening but also quite good since the man was too much dangerous to be left free-"

"Chancellor Tarkin, Sheev Palpatine was an esteemed member of the Senate and leaving the savages that had killed him against the Republic's law unpunished is a clear sign of negligence-"

"If I may, Supreme Chancellor, I wish to make a defence for this unwarranted slight from Senator Amidala!"

My interruption seemed to surprise the entire room but I knew I had to work this place just like it was set to be.

This was just like the Roman Republic before Caesar's rule, ready to be battered by proper orators.

Tarkin blinked at the request, so loud and determined, but nodded, trying to understand what I might have in mind.

"Dathomir is outside of the Galactic Republic's jurisdiction and attacking the planet for such reason would be seen as a crime as per Republican Laws as the Dathomirians have the right to exact their own laws on their homeplanet, completely free from any external laws." I then turned my visual receptors to the fuming senator.

We sure are going to humble her with this.

She... warranted it. To think she is this much foolish about the matter, placing her passion in front of her common sense.

Time for some truth bombing.

"Senator Amidala, your behavior has been utterly questionable. First you try to undermine the current Chancellor's legitimacy by questioning his capacity to decide, when the Chancellor had been correct to not prepare a punitive expedition for your pseudo-patriotic whims. Then you profess for freedom while I see that there are some curious if not questionable laws within Naboo's constitution. Some detailing a different sets of rights between Gungans and Nabooans, even through the former are natives of the planet," I answered without hesitation, throwing as much crap as I could muster out of the report I had written over the annoying politician. "Lastlym I wish to bring to attention a curious situation about the Senator, one about her unexpected appearance in Tatooine the same day Jabba was killed. I wish for the unusual presence of the Senator in the planet, when she was supposed to be protected in Naboo, to be investigated further by a joined team formed by Jedi and Republican officers."

The ruling coalition roared accusations at the now-silenced pacifist wing of the Senate. Some of this latter group even looking at the woman with shocked looks while she appeared quite pale and ill at this little revelation.

Tarkin was forced to concede a 30-mins pause for the room to 'recover their composure in this grave discovery'.

You gonna love loyal politicians!

Wulff Yularen would be lying if he had said that Shinhachi was a foolish militarist.

The man's experience was pure gold for every good officer with some brain in their head as the small-scaled examples offered gave an easy-to-understand meaning to many of the tactics some of the modern officers had long forgotten.

It had been surprising when the third lesson came to be, him sitting once more close to the genial chiss, Thrawn, and the greatest revelation about the man's true appearance was given.

He was morbidly shocked that a droid had been capable of replicating such a complex mind as humanoids and yet he did and was still going.

The holographic image finally showed the advanced droid, donning a curious hat on his head.

"Greetings class, and welcome to this crazy lesson about impossible odds!"

Truly insane, he thought as he turned to look at the chiss, trying to get a glimpse of the blue-skinned student's reaction and... he was smiling.

While many were horrified at the discovery, Thrawn was smiling delightfully at the droid but Yularen knew already why after having befriended the humanoid.

The chiss was intrigued by surprising odds, especially the one that a droid was the actual Governor-General of Tatooine. Plus the lessons was mostly centered about this very topic.

"Today we shall discuss of one of the most underrated German military leaders during the Great War."

The image showed a man in his 50s, a hat similar to the one in Shinihachi's calf was placed on his head. A serious and focused look visible on his face as he was donning a warmer version of the previous general's uniform.

Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck

"Clever officer akin to Oskar von Hutier, Lettow-Vorbeck was a brilliant man that had been sent on a very distant stage when the Great War started."

The map appeared but it moved away from Europe and back in Africa, the lower-right side of it.

"Germany, like many other Great Powers in the time period, had a colonial empire. Differently from the other colonial powers, they were keen to recruit natives within their military force, the Askari."

The image now showed several dark-skinned humans donning privates' uniforms and doing manouvers with some white-skinned officers leading them.

"Differently from many Generals that served in this period for the colonial armies, Lettow-Vorbeck was considered the only one that stood up to international attention, mostly because his men in Afrika were capable of keeping up with the German Grenadiers. His tale showed this true when he faced absurd odds early on until the end of the war."

The estimations were given and... half of the class paled at the numbers, much similar to the Napoleon's ones.

German Schutztruppe:
Early Stage: 5072
Late Stage: 4803

Allied Combined Forces:
Early Stage: 50000~
Late Stage: 47000~

"Surprising numbers, I assume this is what everyone is thinking and... you are right. This man was a legend that was easily forgotten when the war ended. The only German army that was never defeated in battle until it was forced to surrender when Germany was defeated in Europe."

That added further admiration to the man and some questions were asked quickly.

"What do you mean that he was forgotten, Shinihachi?"

The droid chuckled. "Getting cocky with names, boyo?!"

The teen who had given the question shivered at the Governor's tone but a chuckle was enough to calm him down.

"Sure, I suppose we all need to be in some safe environment before sending you to do some warring,"The governor politely conceded. "Anyway, the reason why Lettow-Vorbeck was forgotten is summarised in two points: 1) The peace treaty deprived Germany of every single colony, making his experience seemingly useless in a conflict in Europe and 2) when Germany went back for some more kicking, the General detested the newest leadership going so far to reply to the ruler with a clear and candid 'fuck off'."

... "T-That has to be a joke. Is that right, sir?"

The droid tilted its head in confusion and some started to chuckle at the mere idea an officer stood up from a call from his leader because he 'detested him' if Yularen had to be forgiving with his language.

"Truly an interesting individual," The human stated, glancing to the chiss, Thrawn staring at the document that had been uploaded in everyone's datapad about the General and skimming through the sentences. "Don't you think?"

He nodded. "A fascinating individual with some... interesting ideas about recruiting people. His charismatic and kind ways gave him a larger than expected manpower to use in the battlefield. Truly a daring leader."

The human nodded, staring at the document in his own datapad and smiling a little when he spotted the fact about the man 'sodding off' his leader.

Truly a daring leader.

AN

Brief Glossary:

Hugbox: A set of alliances that will be activated upon aggression against you. Generally the greater and more numerous the alliances are, the 'happier' the hugbox is.