CHAPTER SUMMARY: Wrestling with anxieties she'd tried to shove down before, Penny reluctantly decides to trust Ruby with her most important secret. This chapter takes place before RWBY: Volume 7 - Chapter 5: Sparks, or at least before Pietro tells Ruby and Weiss about how Penny came to be.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, this chapter isn't one of the ones I teased previously, nor do I think it's long enough or simply good enough to justify the long wait, but I'm at the point where the chapter was gonna be released before I was confident in it, or not at all.

So as for why there's been such a huge gap, the biggest reason is I've been trying to adjust to a recent development in my life, and the reason this chapter is about what it's about. TL;DR I recently realized I was trans and I literally renamed myself "Penny" because she's my favorite character of all time. So, have a trans Penny chapter.

And the other reason is extremely... ranty. So, skip the author's note now if you don't want to hear the overwhelmingly negative and incoherent rant of an exhausted queer.

Basically, I don't know if I can keep writing this series because I just don't love RWBY anymore. Penny Polendina is still my idol and she holds a special place in my heart, but she's pretty much the only part of the show that doesn't make me nauseous anymore. Yep, I still get bile in my throat thinking about RWBY because that queerbaity crap in Volume 7 pretty much murdered the show for me.

I have over thirteen other chapter ideas for this anthology, but I don't know if they'll ever be fully realized. Not when the mere thought of RWBY makes me want to throw up. The show used to be my second-favorite thing in the world behind my cat (whom I literally named Blake), but now just thinking about anything other than Penny makes me depressed as hell. Stupid as it is, Volume 7 quite literally traumatized me to the point I don't think I can watch the show again. Not anytime soon, at least.

So this story isn't my finest work because as much as I love writing Nuts and Dolts, I'm just too demoralized to keep going and put more polish onto this chapter. It was either going to be released like this, or not at all.

Extremely pissed off rant aside, this is still a fluffy chapter promoting acceptance and love, so I hope you still enjoy it. This honestly might be the last chapter since I don't really have the energy to keep any RWBY-related writings going.

—

This is all just... wrong, Penny thought. She suddenly wished she'd given herself more time to prepare as she stood and paced around a rooftop on Atlas Academy, the familiar but judgmental sight of the kingdom only worsening her anxieties. In all her life, never had Penny hated a place more despite her duties. She missed Sanus, where the color green reigned supreme with beautiful trees and dirt and grass. Nothing like the lonely, snowy tundras of Solitas. Penny tried to calm herself and sat down on the familiar rooftop. It was where she and Ruby had shared their first kiss a week ago, where she finally put to rest the hardest chapter of her life and was ready to move forward. Yet the memory brought little comfort as Penny was reminded they might not share a kiss again after the day was through. Wrong, she thought. This is all so, so wrong.

Penny sighed and covered her face in her hands. "What am I doing?"

"I was about to ask you that, yeah," Penny heard from behind.

"Ruby! Oh, uh, you're here! I mean, of course you are. I asked you to come, after all," she said while running a hand through her hair and staring at the ground. Penny forced a laugh and hoped Ruby didn't notice that oh gods now I'm trembling and I can't stop. No, no, I don't want Ruby to notice.

"Oh my god, Penny, are you okay?!" Ruby practically yelled as she sprinted to wrap her arms around her girlfriend, but Penny dodged her hug. Ruby knew something was very, very wrong. "Penny, you know you can talk to me if you need to, right? About anything."

"I-I know," Penny said, "but this is... I promise it's not you. This is just hard to talk about with, well, anyone."

Ruby again went to put her arm around Penny and was grateful when her partner didn't resist. "It's okay, sweetheart. I've got you."

"Ruby," Penny started as she shrank into her shoulders and hesitantly looked Ruby in the eyes, "I'm not a real girl."

"Oh, honey, of course you are," Ruby smiled. "I've told you once and I'll say it as many more times as I have to; just because you have nuts and bolts instead of squ-"

"No," Penny interrupted. I'm really doing this, aren't I? "Ruby, do you know why I'm the only synthetic with an aura?"

"I... actually don't," Ruby said. "The thought never really occurred to me."

"In order for me to generate an aura, my father gave me part of his," Penny's breath hitched. "Part of a man's soul."

"What are you saying, Penny?" Ruby asked as she gave Penny's shoulder a firm but comforting squeeze.

"When my aura started to take a unique form, when I started to develop my own unique soul, what I wanted to be changed. I didn't feel very... male like my aura's origin. When I'd go into power-down, in all my dreams I was a girl, a heroine saving the day. The thought of being a boy always felt wrong to me, but being a girl felt... right. I was confused, so I asked my father for help."

—

"Father?" I asked, still trying to figure out what this... disconnect between my mind and body was. "Why do I want to be a girl?"

My father spilled the drink he was sipping on and started laughing so hard his wallet fell out of his pocket onto the floor. "So," he said, "let me guess; you're a girl in all your dreams and thinking of yourself as a girl makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?"

"Yes," I exclaimed as I reached down to help him pick up all the individual coins that spilled from his bag, "how did you know?"

"Experience," he laughed. "I might've dealt with the same thing when I was younger, too."

"You wanted to be a girl, too?" I asked as I scooped up all the coins. My father laughed again as I handed him his wallet.

"Ha ha, nope, I wanted to become a boy. So I did." My father smiled and looked at me softly. "That disconnect you're feeling, we call that 'dysphoria.' Seems like the Polendinas might be cursed with it somehow, if that were scientifically possible. Although, maybe I should do some research on that... ah, never mind. But dysphoria, hmph, it's a real nasty thing to have to deal with, but once you're able to transition, life suddenly feels so right."

"'Transition?' What do you mean?" I wanted to understand why I felt the way I did. My father started absentmindedly playing with his beard.

"Hmm, how would you like it if I went back to the drawing board and made you a new body? One more feminine," he said. At that point, my body was rather neutral. No real distinguishing features either masculine or feminine. "We can design it together, daughter."

My C.P.U. felt like it was going to melt and my eyes started wincing as I tackled him with a hug so strong I accidentally knocked him out of his chair. "Whoa there," he said, "you're gonna break my bones, sweet pea." I reluctantly pulled away from the hug and smiled at him while I helped him back onto his chair, my eyes still twitching in this weird manner I didn't quite understand. "Hmm, looks like we'll have to add some tear ducts to your new body, too. Looks like you've already got the instincts for it," he said.

It was then that I noticed another coin had fallen from his pocket in the crash. "By the way," he started, "do you have any new names in mind?"

"Yeah," I said as I picked the penny up off the floor. The head was facing up, and something inside of me just... clicked. "I think I do."

—

Penny took a deep breath. "I'm trans, Ruby. I'm not a real girl..."

"Pssh, nah," Ruby grinned.

"'Nah?'"

"Nah," Ruby repeated as she took her partner's hand in her own. "Penny, I don't care what you might've been assigned at... is 'birth' the right word?" Ruby stroked her chin in deep thought. "Ah, forget it. Penny, you're the sweetest, most loving and valid woman I've ever met, and I love you more than anything in the world."

"So, you don't care that I'm..." Penny trailed off.

"I don't care," Ruby replied. Ruby Rose, I love you so much! Penny thought as tears formed in her eyes. "Hey," Ruby said as she cupped Penny's cheek and wiped her tears away, "it's okay."

Penny sobbed and tackled Ruby to the ground. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!" She shouted over and over.

"I-I love you, t-too, hon," Ruby choked as her aura had to work overtime to keep her bones from snapping. "B-but P-Penny, y-you're crushing m-me again."

"Oh, sorry!" Penny giggled as she loosened her grip on Ruby and stood back up, offering a hand to her Firefly. Guess I got caught up in the moment again. "Hey, Ruby?"

"Yeah, Pen?"

"You won't tell anyone about this, right?" She asked nervously. I know she won't, but I have to ask. "Not even father? I know he wouldn't care at all if you knew, but I just... I want this to stay between us anyways, I guess. I know that doesn't make much sense. I don't really understand my own logic here, to be honest."

"It's okay, Lucky Penny, my lips are sealed." Penny breathed a sign of relief. "Well," Ruby smirked, "unless they're on yours."

"Ruby!" Penny laughed as she felt like her cheeks were on fire. Even still, she pulled her girlfriend in for another deep kiss. "You're my world, Firefly," she said as they reluctantly parted.

"And you're my Lucky Penny," Ruby smiled and she leaned over to kiss her partner's nose. "Boop!"

"I love you," Penny replied. "I can't say that enough."

"You don't have to," Ruby said, "and I love you, too. More than words could ever describe." They embraced and stood together, silhouettes huddled close in the rising sunlight. I want to spend every day like this, Penny thought. Just us... together. Maybe once this war's over. She frowned.

"What is it, hon?" Ruby asked.

"I'm just... thinking," Penny said. "What are we going to do when this conflict's over?"

"I don't know. I hadn't really thought that far ahead, if I'm being honest. It's just... hard to think about, you know?" Yes. Yes, I do. "I mean..." Ruby trailed off.

"You don't want to get your hopes up for a future that might never come," Penny finished for her.

"Yeah," Ruby replied. "I don't know. What about you?"

"I think... I think I just want a family," Penny mused. "And you're already making that a reality," she smiled and sank even further into Ruby's embrace.

"I love you, Penny Polendina." Ruby whispered.

"I love you, too."

—

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hopefully the story was fluffy enough to distract from my ranty first author's note. Even if I'm not that happy with the chapter, I wanted to have a self-indulgently trans-positive story to maybe (probably) end this series on.

Green and Red could always come back, but if it does, it probably won't be anytime soon. So for now, I think it's safe to say this is the anthology's goodbye. I'll still be writing things for other fandoms when I'm not busy, so if you like my work for some reason, you can keep an eye out on my profile. Eventually. Probably.