(A/N): ... well, it's been awhile, hasn't it?
I honestly did not expect it to take this long with starting this. I had planned on only taking a short break. But then things got away from me- my new job, the stress of moving, my new job abruptly starting to suck the life out of me, and a great deal of family stress. I also kind of lost contact with my previous beta- hannbells- so I didn't have someone to go over my writing and plot with. Thank god for singingmyheartsong because without her, I wouldn't be posting this at all. She hasn't even read all of the first book but she's done her best to help with this and has kept me from overextending myself plotwise. Without her, the Fantastic Four would be in this and life would be a little more confusing.
My anxiety has also gone through the roof recently and I'm really anxious about posting this. I just kept worrying that it's not good enough. But no more. It's time to be brave.
There were actually one other story summary I was considering for this. I'll post it here so that you can read it for yourself because I think it fits:
It was with a sinking heart that she realized that she was never going to be the hero. Neither Mia nor Hermione were going to be the ones to save the day. She was a killer and a liar and a thief- she was a villain at worst or an antihero at best. But, if that was her fate, then fine- she was going to be the best goddamned antihero this world had ever seen.
Which do you like better? I like both personally. I just used the one I thought fit best overall.
Anyway, to everyone who has been cheering me on throughout this journey, this is for you. You all are the reason I continue writing and I am forever grateful for your encouragement.
Quick note, in case you were unaware, I have started a separate story for one-shots from this world called The Collection. So far, the only thing I have posted is a character study of Hermione that gives you some good insight into what her mindset will be in this story arc and also some new characters she'll be meeting. If you have a moment, go read it and let me know what you think!
This chapter has been beta read by me so any mistakes you find are mine. Unfortunately.
Without further ado, welcome to the sequel to It Starts With Why. Thank you all for reading! Enjoy!
Gamora watched her 'father' with shuttered eyes. Ever since his Chitauri had fallen trying to claim Terra, Thanos had become even more strict and tyrannical. He had ordered Ronan to visit the planet and destroy the Weapon- though Gamora was sure that Thanos was expecting Ronan to fail. The warrior known as Captain Marvel was infamous throughout the universe and she knew that Ronan would never be powerful enough to defeat her.
If the rumors were accurate, then she had more strength in her than the entirety of Thanos' remaining soldiers combined and Gamora envied her. If she had been as strong as the Captain, Thanos would never have been able to destroy her home. And if Thanos' fears were true, if Captain Marvel had acquired the Mind Stone and had access to the Tesseract, then even Thanos would not be able to defeat her.
For the first time in years, Gamora felt a spark of hope within her. If Captain Marvel were to find out where Thanos was hiding, surely she would come and destroy him before he could ruin any more lives. Perhaps there was a chance that Gamora and Nebula would finally be free.
All she had to do was figure out how to show the Captain the way.
Mia threw herself upright with a cry, abruptly pulled from her nightmare. Her heart was pounding, drumming loudly in her chest, and she was soaked in sweat.
This wasn't the first time she had woken up in such a manner. Ever since she'd been in contact with the Time Stone, her dreams had been plagued by the horrors she'd seen. Not even the nightmares she'd had since the war had been this bad. The scenes playing out behind her lids were vivid, bright, in a way that past ones never were.
Steve kneeling on the ground with a shattered expression.
Tony collapsed, covered in blood and burns, with lifeless eyes that bored into her.
Her father- the man she loved most in the entire galaxy- choked to death in front of her as Thor screamed in the background.
It's not fair. It shouldn't have to be you, but it is.
I love you. More than anything.
It took Mia a moment to realize that the high-pitched keening sound was coming from her.
The bedroom door slammed open and Tony came bursting in. There were faint bags under his eyes, his hair stuck out wildly, and grease stains covered his hands and clothes- evidence that her brother had been pulling an all-nighter in his lab when JARVIS alerted him to her distress.
He didn't say anything, just sat down quietly on the bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. Mia buried her face in his shoulder, hands fisted into his shirt, uncaring of the sticky oil that was surely spreading onto both her and her bedsheets.
It took a long time for Mia to finally calm herself down enough to be able to speak. "Thank you," she croaked.
"Anytime." He hesitated for a moment before offering, "Want to talk about it?"
She shook her head. Mia couldn't tell him about her nightmares. She wasn't going to inflict her terror onto him when he had his own problems to deal with.
Glancing over at the clock on her nightstand, she saw that it was almost 3:30 in the morning. "Why are you still awake? We're still leaving by ten, right?"
"Got distracted in the lab," he told her, slumping down a bit as his body's exhaustion finally caught up to his racing mind. "Took advantage of the quiet- what with Pepper being in L.A. and you off doing good deeds for most of yesterday."
"We can't all be technological genius'; some of us have to try and make a difference in other ways."
Right after the Battle of New York- as the media had taken to calling it- Mia had begun assisting Pepper with coordinating relief efforts around the city. She helped manage fundraisers around the country, met with both charity directors working in the city and with individual families and business owners who had been affected by the invasion, and had even managed to destroy several fraudulent aid organizations that had cropped up. It was hard work, but Mia enjoyed it. Between that and her numerous meetings with MACUSA, Mia ended her days more exhausted than not. Some days the exhaustion was enough to keep the nightmares at bay. Some days not.
"You know," Tony started cautiously. "We don't have to do this tomorrow. It doesn't make you a bad person for needing more time."
Mia shook her head and Tony could feel her fingers trembling against his chest. "No. I've put this off long enough; I need to do this."
Tony understood. "Alright then. I should probably head upstairs then and shower before crashing for a few hours. You going to be okay by yourself?"
Slowly pulling away from him, Mia lay back down on her side of the bed. "I'll be fine."
He didn't believe her but knew better than to push. "You might want to shower first and then sleep somewhere else," Tony advised, standing up and stretching his arms up over his head. "Grease is a pain to get off when it's dry."
She knew he was right, and Mia forced herself to roll off the bed. "You just had to muck up my sheets, didn't you?"
"So ungrateful. See if I come to your rescue next time." Tony spun around and walked out of the room.
"Love you!" Mia called after him and he waved a hand at her in response before disappearing.
Even though she knew Tony still wasn't very comfortable with anything involving feelings, Mia made it a point to be as affectionate with him as possible. It didn't take a genius to realize that his parents weren't the most demonstrative of people- especially his father- and that had left Tony somewhat emotionally stunted. She never wanted Tony to doubt for even a moment how much she cared for him and how happy she was to be a part of his family.
Staring down at her bed, Mia deliberated whether or not she wanted to actually change her sheets or if she just wanted to sleep in the guest room.
Steve's room.
He'd been spending less time with her the last few months, ever since she'd told him that they couldn't be together. Mia understood why that was, knew that it would be ignorant and cruel to expect him to act the same as he had before. It didn't change the fact that she wished things could have remained the same- as childish and selfish a wish as it was.
Despite the fact that Steve had insisted that the only reason he was away so much was because of the work he was doing with S.H.I.E.L.D. in Washington D.C., Mia wasn't sure that she should believe him. If it had been the other way around, if she had put herself out there and Steve had rejected her, Mia would have wanted to keep a few states between them until she was able to get past her embarrassment and hurt. She didn't regret what she had done but she wished there would have been another way.
It had just been too much. Her parents, the Mind Stone, the attack on New York, the Time Stone- all of it had been too tangled up inside her head for her to be able to process anything properly. Then Steve had reached out to her and she couldn't do it. She couldn't be what he needed. He wanted someone honest, open- he wanted Hermione Granger, the girl she used to be. The one who seemed to have so many similarities with Peggy Carter, according to Steve. But she wasn't just Hermione Granger anymore, she was also Mia and her life would always be shrouded in misdirection's and lies.
And, if she was being totally honest, Mia didn't think her heart could handle entering into a relationship that was guaranteed to end messily. What she'd told Steve was true- there was no happily ever after for them. What he didn't know was that applied to any of her future relationships- at least until Thanos was taken care of.
Finally making a decision, Mia pulled the sheets and blankets off her bed and took them to the laundry room next to her bathroom. Out of everything Tony had put into her apartment, she thought that the combined washing and drying machine was the most convenient. "JARVIS?" she called sleepily.
"Once you're out of the shower, Miss Stark, I will start the laundry," he informed her, automatically knowing what she wanted.
"You are spectacular, JARVIS. Nobody deserves you."
"Indeed."
Moving into the bathroom, Mia stripped out of her pajamas, and her gaze caught on the collection of scars vividly standing out against the pale skin of her forearm. Mudblood.
Even with her considerable talents, she hadn't been able to erase Bellatrix's handywork, just as she hadn't been able to rid herself of the scar Dolohov had left her with. All of her other injuries from that day were healed thanks to Loki and Carol, but not that one. She hadn't brought it up with either parent, not wanting them to feel any more guilt than they already did, but Tony had known about that particular badge from when she'd first arrived in New York. When he'd spotted the injury again several months later- despite her attempts to keep it hidden from everyone- and saw that it wasn't healing, Tony and Bruce had thrown themselves into creating something that would heal the scars with a claim that impossible wasn't a word in their vocabulary.
Pulling her hair up and clipping it back, she climbed into the shower and turned on the hot water. As the water flowed down her, Mia wondered when she had stopped being so affected by the slur on her arm. When she'd first woken up in the hospital, she'd had to stop herself from constantly rolling up her sleeves whenever she was alone so that she could pick at the scars. Now, Mia forgot that it was actually there on most days. It may have still been a part of her, but it no longer defined her the way it once had.
Once she was finished scrubbing off the sticky smears on her hands and arms using a special bodywash Pepper had given her that was specifically created for removing grease, Mia stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her. Hurrying into her closet, she grabbed a clean nightgown and pulled it on. Hesitating for another moment, she finally made herself walk over to Steve's room.
As she stepped inside, Mia was forced to acknowledge the fact that it couldn't really be considered Steve's room any longer. With every extended trip to D.C., more and more of his things had been taken from the room and now there was almost nothing left. The last time he had been there, Steve had even told her that it was alright to let other people stay in there- that's how detached he had become of this space. That was the only reason Mia allowed herself to sleep in there without feeling like an intruder.
She'd once told Steve that even when she had nothing, she'd still had him. It would seem that wasn't the truth anymore and the fault was mainly her own.
Climbing into his bed, Mia buried her face in his pillow. It still smelled faintly of him and she felt engulfed in the safety and lightness she always felt when in his presence. Moments later, Mia was sound asleep.
Steve stumbled into the elevator at the newly renamed 'Avengers Tower' an hour before dawn. He was absolutely exhausted; he'd just gotten back from a long mission in South America with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Strike Team a few hours ago. After showering and powering through a debriefing at the New York office, Steve had headed straight for the tower. Tony had told him where he and Hermione were headed the next morning and Steve had immediately asked to join.
"Captain Rogers," JARVIS greeted as the elevator started going up. "Shall I announce your arrival to anyone?"
"No," Steve waved him off. "Just need a room to crash in for a few hours."
"Of course." JARVIS seemed to hesitate for a moment, which immediately caught Steve's attention, before the A.I. asked, "Would you prefer your regular room, or shall I bring you to the guest floor?"
He froze. Before, JARVIS wouldn't have even needed to ask, just would've brought Steve directly to Hermione's floor. Things were different now though. Despite what Tony had claimed, Steve couldn't help feeling like he should be avoiding Hermione as much as he could. She didn't want him. Maybe that was simplifying things, but he had reached out to her and she had rejected him and Steve still didn't understand why. That didn't mean Steve was going to give up on her, but he also couldn't comfortably be around her right then when all he could do was wonder why.
Why did she push him away?
Why didn't she want to be with him?
Why did she think that he wasn't enough?
Why did she think that she wasn't?
The talk he had been hearing while he was down in the Capitol also didn't help things. Hermione had become very active in all things to do with the Avengers and been spotted in the Triskelion building- which Steve now primarily worked in- multiple times. He hadn't ever seen her when she was down there, but he'd heard Rumlow and Collins mention her multiple times. Nothing was explicitly said but their tone...
Steve was saved from his spiraling thoughts when the elevator doors opened onto Hermione's floor. JARVIS turned on a few lights already so that Steve could comfortably make his way through the apartment and it was clear that Hermione had already gone to bed. He hoped that she was able to sleep soundly- Tony had told him that Hermione's nightmares had been growing more frequent over the past two weeks. Steve remembered what it was like when he and Hermione had first been staying together and knew that, if things got too bad, she would just ignore the problem and push herself as far as she could go until she passed out. It wasn't healthy, but that was how she was used to dealing with things and Hermione wasn't easily reasoned with when she was that exhausted.
Quietly making his way through the living room and down the hall, Steve pushed open the door to his old room and froze. There was someone asleep in the bed. Hermione had a guest.
Not that it meant anything bad. There was a person asleep in here, not with Hermione in her own bed. And he had told her that it was fine to let people stay in there- that she didn't need to keep it as his room.
But it was his room. It was proof that he still had a place in her life, that he would always be welcomed with open arms. A physical representation that she wanted him there.
The light suddenly turned on overhead. When Steve's eyes adjusted to the sudden change, he saw Hermione sitting upright in the bed and staring at him in surprise. "Steve?"
"Hey," he greeted awkwardly. "I, uh, didn't expect to find you in here."
Hermione ran her fingers through her hair. "Tony was in my room and got grease on my sheets. I put them in the wash, but I was too lazy to actually put new sheets on my bed so I just came in here to sleep. Are you... are you staying the night here? Or, what's left of it?"
Steve nodded. "Was hoping to. I'll just have JARVIS take me to any empty room since-"
"You don't have to go," Hermione blurted out and then blushed. "I... I can just go put fresh sheet on my bed and you can sleep here like you always do. Provided you don't mind the fact that I was sleeping here for a bit, of course. Or I can just sleep on the couch."
"I'm not gonna make you sleep on the couch," he stated firmly, sounding almost offended that she'd suggest the idea.
Smothering down a small smile, Hermione pointed out, "You're far too big to be able to sleep comfortably on the couch."
Running a hand through his hair, Steve tried to reassure her, "It's fine, I can just go crash in a guest room."
Hermione blamed her lack of sleep for what she next suggested. "Don't be silly, Steve- this is your room. Just... I'll..." She glanced around the room before finally sliding over and pulling back the covers on the empty side of the bed.
When Steve just gapped at her, she defensively stated, "It's late, we're both exhausted, and tomorrow is probably going to be a very trying day- we both need our rest. And it's not as though this bed isn't big enough for the both of us."
Biting his lip, Steve finally gave a jerky nod and moved to set his bag down in the corner and kicking off his shoes- the sweatpants and shirt he was currently wearing would be fine to sleep in. Steve laid down on the bed, entire body stiff and ready to leap back up at a moment's notice. Hermione slowly relaxed back down, curling up on her side facing towards Steve as the light turned back off. They lay in silence for several long moments, each wanting to say something but neither knowing how to start.
Finally, Hermione couldn't take it anymore. "I'm hiding things from you."
He didn't say anything- didn't react at all- for several heartbeats, before he finally rolled over to look at her. "Why are you telling me that?"
Swallowing hard, Hermione haltingly explained, "I don't want to lie to you. When we first started getting to know one another- when we found ourselves in this strange new world- and had trouble understanding what was real and what was not, we swore we wouldn't lie to one another. I won't break that promise. But sooner, rather than later, you're going to ask me something that I won't be able to answer. So, I want you to know that, when I refuse to tell you anything, it's because I refuse to lie to you."
The tension fell away from Steve. This was Hermione- this was the girl he recognized. "I prefer you saying nothing at all than having you be dishonest."
Hermione's face scrunched up as she tried to hold back her tears. "You're going to hate me when you find out everything. But know that everything I'm doing right now, I'm doing it to save you. To save all of you."
Lifting his hand, Steve brushed away a few of her tears. "What the hell have you gotten yourself into?" he murmured.
Covering his hand with hers, she responded, "I have to keep you safe. I have to. You and Tony and Pepper and… you're my people. And I'm so tired of losing people. I can't lose any more."
"That goes both ways, doll. I won't lose you either. I will always fight to keep you safe, even if it's just from those demons in your head you're battling with."
"And what would you know of my demons, Steven Grant?" Hermione sniffled.
"That they're pretty similar to my own. They're telling you that it's all on you, that you have to be the one doing all the dirty work so that others don't have to. That if you make even one mistake, everyone will be gone and it'll be all your fault." Hermione's hand squeezed on his and Steve's heart clenched. "You're the one who spent months knocking those thoughts out of my head- least I can do is try to do the same for you."
"What if you're wrong?" she whispered. "What if it is all on me?"
Steve shook his head. "You can't live your life like that. We're all people, we all make our own choices. Sometimes those choices end up being wrong, but that doesn't make them any less ours."
Hermione slowly felt herself relax. This companionship was what she had been missing most these past few months. "I'm sorry," she told him abruptly.
"For what?" he murmured, also relaxing.
"For saying no. For hurting you. This isn't what I wanted but it's… I can't…"
His hand shifted from her face then, sliding down to her waist and pulling her in gently to his chest. Burying his face in her hair, Steve told her, "It was bad timing. I shouldn't have said anything right then- I know that now. You were dealing with so much already and I just added on."
"It was just too much," she sighed in agreement.
They laid in silence for a long moment before Steve spoke again. "You said once that the reason you never would have even tried to have anything with Ron was because you believe that a relationship is nothing without trust. That there couldn't be any secrets, that you couldn't be lying to one another about anything. And that, if you were to start with him, there would always be a wall of secrets there because you would never be able to tell him everything. You still believe that? The no secrets thing, I mean."
She nodded. "I do. I can't be in a relationship with someone if I'm not in a position to be able to be completely open with them. It wouldn't be right."
Finally, all the questions that had been rocking around in his head died down. "Will you be honest with me eventually?"
"I hope so. I really do." Hermione curled up against Steve, the feeling of complete safety that his presence gave her seeping into her bones. She felt sleepy again. "I hope my life won't forever feel like a lie."
"Is that how you see it?" Steve whispered, having felt her relax and heard the sleepiness in her voice. "It that how it feels?"
Hermione didn't answer, having already fallen back asleep.
"Pepper," Mia sighed into the phone, sitting back in her seat and burrowing into her leather jacket. "It's fine. I understand why you couldn't come- you don't need to keep apologizing. I'm not upset with you."
"I just feel bad," Pepper repeated for the thousandth time. "I wanted to go with you- I promise that I fully intended to join you guys. If this emergency hadn't happened, I would be there."
"You are the CEO of one of the largest corporations," Mia reminded the other woman, glaring at Tony when he looked from his StarkPad to smirk at her. "You're one of the most intelligent, capable women I've ever known. You can't be expected to anticipate everything though. Please stop beating yourself up over this."
Steve came over to sit in the seat in front of her, passing the brunette a bottle of juice with a small grin and a wink. Glancing at the label on it, Mia realized that it was one of the flavors they'd shared that first night when they'd really started to get to know one another. Back when both of them had thought themselves to be so old and jaded when really, they were far younger and more innocent than they currently were.
Pepper finally started to calm down. "Well, at least Steve was able to come with you. God knows I love Tony, but he's not always the best emotional support- especially in situations like this."
"You're not wrong," Mia agreed. "Though I'm sure Tony would argue with you about that until he was blue in the face."
Now that they were talking about him, Tony couldn't help but throw himself into the conversation. "What would I argue with you about? What could Pepper have possibly said that would be worth fighting over? Did she not go into enough detail about how handsome I am? How magnificently funny and amazing I can be? How much my intellect has been a gift to mankind?"
Mia stared blandly at him. "She thinks that your attitude combined with your goatee makes you look like the Devil. The fact that your favorite color is red really doesn't help with that idea either, does it?"
Tony made a face at her as Steve tried to smother a laugh.
"Lies!" Tony declared loudly. "Pepper loves my goatee! She likes how it feels when I-"
"Tony!" Pepper shouted loud enough for everyone to hear, having apparently heard him.
Glancing over at the screen mounted at the front of the cabin, Mia interrupted. "Pepper, we're about to land so I should probably let you go."
With one last apology that Mia brushed aside, Pepper ended the call.
"We are now beginning our decent," the pilot announced and Mia flinched.
Steve saw her reaction and reached out to take her hand. He didn't say anything though and for that, Mia was beyond grateful. She wouldn't know what she would have said to him if he had.
"You don't have to do this," Tony reminded her softly, stance tense. "I'm sure they would understand if you needed more time."
Mia shook her head. "It's been over 15 years, Tony. They deserve..." she trailed off for a moment and then regained her composure. "I need this. I can't put it off forever. It wouldn't be right."
The trio sat in silence as the plane smoothly landed at the airport and pulled into a private hanger.
"Happy's going to annoyed that we came here without him," Tony threw out at random, trying to lighten the mood.
"You didn't tell him where we were going?" Steve asked.
"Of course not," the other man responded, looking at Steve like he was surprised that the question even had to be asked. "Then he would have wanted to come. Didn't tell Rhodey either."
"Because you like riling up the man or because he still absolutely despises me?" Mia asked as she grabbed her purse and package and headed toward the plane door.
"He doesn't despise you!" her brother protested. "He just... doesn't like you as a human being."
Mia turned to stare at him. "Do you not know what despise means?"
"Why doesn't he like you?" Steve asked Hermione, confused as to why he hadn't heard anything about this before.
Tony answered before Hermione could. "Because he knows that I never had a younger sister so he's suspicious of where she came from. Probably didn't help that I didn't actually tell him anything about her before the official announcement went out. Also might have something to do with the fact that I was ducking his calls for a while before he finally showed up and immediately picked a fight with Mia- who, for all her talk about taking the high road, had no hesitation about starting shit with him."
"He accused me of being-" she glanced over at Steve then and quickly changed course. "Colonel Rhodes is just looking out for Tony, something I can appreciate and respect. As I also love Tony and do not want to put him in the middle of our bickering, I've found it best if the Colonel and I don't spend much time together."
Steve continued to frown. "He doesn't know about your... past? You don't trust him?"
"Rhodey is completely trustworthy!" Tony protested, but Mia just shrugged.
"No, I don't. I know he's your friend, Tony, but this is also the man who stole one of your suits and handed it off to the military against your express wishes because he was ordered to. Yes, I know there were extenuating circumstances- I know that you two were having issues- but all that incident really shows is that Rhodey is willing to betray you in order to follow orders- that's how much faith he's put into this institution that we all know has many issues." Glancing over at Steve, she added, "You were a soldier, Steve- you also have a respect towards higher ranks. But tell me, if someone like your old Colonel had ordered you to do something that would betray my trust, would you do it?"
He didn't even hesitate. "No, I wouldn't."
Tony was tense beside them, quickening his pace so that he was ahead of them as they walked towards a dark SUV. "Rhodey didn't do anything to betray me," he muttered.
Mia stared sadly at his back. "Do you feel that way because you truly don't think he did anything wrong, or because you're so used to people betraying you that you can't even recognize the wrongness of it anymore?"
Stopping at the car, Tony turned to look at his sister and couldn't help lashing out. "Is this just you projecting your issues on me? You trusted Potter and Weasel over and over again even when they hurt you because you were scared of being alone- of being a friendless, know-it-all, nerd. You're the one who got so used to betrayal that it didn't even bother you by the end."
"Tony!" Steve reprimanded.
"You're not wrong," Mia admitted, seeming unbothered by her brother's attack. "I am worried that your relationship with Rhodey is as unhealthy as mine was with Harry and Ron. But you are mistaken about it not bothering me - about my ignoring it just out of fear. I saw it, saw them, for what they were, but I ignored it because I always thought there were bigger issues to be dealt with. I didn't think I was enough of a priority, but I know better now. I matter, Tony, and so do you. You don't have to agree with my thoughts, but please don't begrudge my worrying about you. Don't resent me for caring about your wellbeing."
Shoulders slumping, Tony rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm sorry," he started.
She held up a hand to stop him. "Don't. It's not necessary. Just think about what I've said, alright?" Mia walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door, sliding into the backseat.
Steve stared Tony down. "That was out of line. I get that you're mad, Stark, but she's only trying to help."
Tony just stared at Steve. "Rhodey is my friend."
"And that's fine, but you can't make him and Hermione get along. If they don't want to be friendly then they don't have to. It's their choice and you shouldn't try and force them to act a different way just because you want it."
"You're not going to try and tell me that I should listen to Mia? That she might be right?"
Shrugging, Steve admitted, "That would be hypocritical. If it were one of my friends, I wouldn't stop associating with them just because someone else told me to. Not my place to tell you what to do- you have to do what you think is right." Nudging Tony out of the way, Steve opened the passenger door and got into the car.
After a few long moments of staring blankly at the ground, Tony slowly walked around the car and got into the driver's seat.
The drive had been filled with silence- Tony hadn't even bothered turning on the radio.
Tensions were running high. Tony knew that Mia had been stressing about this trip for weeks. She'd done her best to hide it, throwing herself into the many projects and organizations she was a part of. She did her best to act normal, to pretend that everything was okay, but Tony knew better. Of all people, Tony knew just how hard this was for her.
He didn't know why Mia had decided that now was the time to come here. But, when she had asked him if she could borrow the jet, Tony had immediately invited himself along. He wasn't going to make her face this alone. And though Tony would never admit it, he was glad that Steve had joined them. Tony was just self-aware enough to know that emotionally stunted barely covered what his issue was, and he was glad that Steve would also be there to help make sure Mia had the support she needed.
Turning off the main street onto a narrow lane, Tony heard Mia's sharp inhale as they took in the scenery. "You okay?" he asked, fingers tightening on the wheel.
"I'm fine," she murmured, and he glanced back at her in the review mirror. Mia's expression was tight, eyes filled with fear.
"We don't have to do this," he reminded her, though he knew she wasn't going to budge. "We can just go to the beach or something. Stop by a pastry shop and see how many of those tiny cookie things the Invincible Gut here can eat before he gets indigestion."
"No, Tony," Mia sighed. "No more running."
"It's only running if you think it is. It could also be considered a strategic retreat."
He could feel his sister's glare boring into the back of his head. "Must you keep saying things that make no real sense?"
"Yes," Steve muttered. Once Tony had pulled to the side of the lane and turned off the car, he jumped out and opened the door for Hermione. "You okay?" he whispered.
Shrugging off her jacket and placing it gently on the seat next to her, Hermione collected her things and slid out of the car. "I'm alright, Steve. Really." She knew why he was worried and even appreciated that he cared so much, but it was too late to turn back now.
It was time to face what she had done all those years ago.
Leading the way up the sidewalk, Hermione focused on keeping her breathing even. Steve and Tony walked behind her, remaining silent. Finding what she was looking for, Hermione stopped before two headstones. It was fitting to her, coming to see them on this day. This was the anniversary of the day that Hermione Granger had died. There were pictures and books documenting the life of Hermione Granger- immortalizing the girl they thought she used to be- but before her was the truest testament of her past self.
Kneeling down, Hermione set the flowers she had brought from New York on the ground. "Hi Mum," she greeted softly. "Hi Dad."
Her throat felt choked up and she desperately tried to think of something to say. There was really only one thing she could think of as she traced her fingers over the wrong names engraved in marble.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Wait," Maria froze, coffee pot in hand. "You have a kid? You?"
Carol ducked her head and nodded. This had been her greatest secret for most of her life- the existence of Mia. She had never told her closest friend, her sister, about the daughter she had given up for adoption all those years ago. The shame she had felt upon seeing Maria with Monica had stayed her tongue.
Here was another single mom, fighting her way through the ranks of the Air Force without any support. Despite the fact that she had to have known that it would be hard enough to join up just because of the fact that she was a woman, Maria had kept Monica and raised her to be as strong and independent as her mom. Carol, on the other hand, had given up her baby and forced herself to never look back.
The shame she was feeling must have been reflected in her eyes because Maria quickly set the pot down and walked over to table, sitting down across from Carol. "Hey." She grabbed Carol's hand. "Talk to me."
Taking a shaky breath, Carol let the words pour out of her. She talked about meeting a man in a bar and having a one-night stand, the fear she had felt when she realized she'd missed her period, and the decision Carol had finally made. Carol told Maria about how the father had begged her not to abort the baby and then helped to find a couple that could raise the child in their stead even though Carol could see how much it killed him to have to let their little girl go before they even really had a chance to know her.
Carol even told her about the shame she had felt upon meeting Maria and Monica and admitted the agony she had felt watching Maria live the life that Carol had thrown away.
"My baby grew up without me. My little girl suffered because of the choice I made and by the time I had found her again, it felt like it was too late. I gave her up because I thought I would fail her if I ended up keeping her and, instead, it turns out I failed her because I let her go."
Maria hadn't let go of her hand the entire time Carol talked and she ached in response to the pain in her best friend's voice. "You couldn't have known."
"I could of, if I had ever bothered to check on her. But I didn't. Instead, her father was the one to find her and save her. If it wasn't for him, I would have lost her before I even got the chance to to know her." Carol felt tears trailing down her cheeks. "I'm sorry I lied to you."
Maria took a deep breath. "I'm not gonna lie and pretend that it doesn't hurt to know that you kept something so big from me, but I get why you did it." Sitting back in her seat, Maria let her friend have a moment to calm down. "But, now that I do know, I only have one question for you."
She couldn't help tensing. "Yeah, what's that?"
"When do I get to meet them? And who is going to tell Monica that she's got a cousin she hasn't met? Because let's be honest, that is not going to be pretty."
Please a review on your way out!