"You're not gonna get me this year, Vega."

Jade's words have been ringing in my ear nonstop since we woke up this morning. It's getting to the point where I can't think or say anything without her annoying impression of me bouncing around my brain. How many times do I have to tell her that I don't speak like that? It's been years, and yet she still feels the need to speak like that every so often, 'for shits and giggles' as she puts it. And now it's telling me, on endless loop, that I'm not gonna get her this year, just like I haven't every other year leading up to this.

Halloween is Jade's favorite holiday of the year (shocker, right?), and every year since we've been dating, she always manages to spook me until I nearly wazz my pants (she actually succeeded last year…let's not revisit that), and she always acts like it's the funniest thing in the entire world, scaring me out of my wits. So a couple of years ago, I decided that I would try and return the favor.

Needless to say, my first attempt failed pathetically. I ended up spooking myself, and Jade has made sure that I never forget it. Heck, even Dad still teases me about it from time to time! "Remember when you first tried scaring Jade?", he'll just randomly ask sometimes when we're both over to visit.

Ugh.

So I got a little more creative the next year, and sure enough…it failed pathetically. Again. Jade's face was so red from laughing she was practically tomato-like. I don't think I've ever seen her laugh that hard in the entire time we've been together. I failed that horribly.

"Hey, remember when you tried scaring Jade again and all she did was laugh?", I hear Dad asking, and now I have that and her impression of me both swimming around my brain.

Double ugh.

But now? Third times a charm, right? It has to be. I can't fail, not again. I don't think I'd be able to live with the laughter and teasing that would come with yet another failure. No, this year, I'm getting Jade, and I'm gonna make sure she is thoroughly spooked and maybe, maaaaaybeeee, I'll make her wazz her pants a little bit. Just a little bit. Not too much, though. It's my turn to do laundry this week and I don't wanna have to wash that.

"Vega, I'm leaving. I'll be home around six!", I hear Jade call out to me. I skip my way to the front door of our apartment and wrap my arms around her in a hug, kissing her goodbye, while also reminding her not to scare anyone too bad while she's in her classes. I know her; she'll whip out her scissors and chase a bunch of freshmen down the halls, threatening to gouge their eyeballs out or whatever gross chiz she can think of.

"Oh, like how you're gonna scare me later when I get home?", she laughs, and I feel my face turn red from sheer embarrassment. I give my head a quick shake and sigh, tilting my head to face her, trying to put my best sinister looking smile on my lips. At least, I think it looks and feels sinister. To Jade, it probably looks like I gotta puke.

"Just you wait, my pretty", I croon in my best wicked witch voice. "I'll get you, you'll see!"

Jade tilts her head to the side, giving me this curious look, before busting out laughing. In my face, no less! A frustrated sigh leaves my lips before she leans in and kisses me back, telling me she can't wait to see how horribly and pathetically I'll fail this year. What do I see in her again? Why have I stayed with her this long if she still subjects me to this verbal abuse?

"Because you love her, because she tolerates you back", I mutter to myself, as I plop down on our couch in the living room, fishing my phone out of my pocket, starting to dial a familiar number when I pause.

Huh. I've told Jade that I loved her, and she's never said it back to me. It doesn't really bother me, because I know how she is with those sorts of emotions, but it never really occurred to me that she hasn't said it once in the almost five years we've been together.

Shaking my head clear of that thought, I finish dialing the number and wait for the line to pick up. "Hey, Cat? It's Tori. Are we still on for today?", I ask, pulling my phone away from my ear when she excitedly screams 'yes' a hundred and one times. You'd think she'd have mellowed out some once we all graduated from Hollywood Arts, but nope, she's still the same bubbly, adorably loud and ditzy Cat she's always been. Some things will never change, I suppose.

"What time can you be here? Jade's last class ends at 5:30 so she'll be home a little after six…", I explain, relieved to hear that everything her and I have planned won't take terribly long to set up.

"Wait", Cat suddenly asks right as I go to end the call. "Why do you want to scare Jade so much again?"

I sigh and rub my temples. "For the thousandth time, Cat, I want to scare her because I'm tired of it being the other way around, and I want to show and prove to Jade that I can be just as scary as her!"

She pauses for a beat, then adds, "But um…Tori…you're like, the least scariest person I know. Didn't you try this last year and end up just making her laugh a lot?"

"You know about that too!?", I ask incredulously, a groan escaping my lips as I lean back on the couch. I have to get Jade this year, I just have to. I'm gonna show Jade that I'm capable of scaring the pants off of her if it's the last thing I do. Which I'm hoping it isn't. That would suck something fierce.

An hour later, and Cat's over with all the little knickknacks I'll need to make our apartment into the little haunted house of Jade's dreams. Or, her nightmares in this case. Would it be dreams? I still have a hard time understanding just how her mind works, and we've been together since our senior year at Hollywood Arts. Every day I learn something new about her, and every day is always an adventure. Like, for example, last week, when it was my turn to vacuum the apartment and tidy up our room, I came across a zip lock baggie filled with random strands of hair. My hair. Turns out, Jade had been snipping little locks of it off since our first date, and had continued to do so as recently as last month. Now, most girlfriends would see this and be either absolutely horrified, or they'd call the local mental institution and get their significant other sent away. But me? I found it endearing and actually really sweet that she would keep little mementos of me to herself like this. I made peace with Jade being different than everyone else a long time ago, and I never ever want her to change. I love that she is the way she is. I love her.

Which is exactly why I need to scare the living wazz out of her tonight.

"Are you sure this is gonna work, Tor?", Cat asks me as she strings some of the special lights I ordered for just this occasion. They're in the shape of drops of blood, and I figure Jade will find some use for them after today. "I feel like all of this is stuff that Jade dreams or talks about on a regular basis. I thought the idea was to, like, scare her? And not, yanno, impress her?"

I turn on my heel and glare at her, as if she's not completely wrong with her statement. Which she isn't, but I'm not about to tell her that. "This is all gonna work, okay? It has to. She'll never let me live it down if I fail again."

"Come on Tor, it can't be nearly as bad as you're saying it is."

"On my birthday, instead of writing something cute on the card she made me, she wrote 'Hey, remember when you tried scaring me and failed miserably last year? Good times!'", I immediately shoot back with, causing Cat to recoil a bit. Ugh. "I'm sorry, Cat. I didn't mean to snap at you like that."

She immediately smiles and is back to being chipper as all heck. Some things never change. "It's okay, Tor! I'm sure you'll be able to scare her a little bit."

"That's the idea…", I mutter as I turn my attention to the blood capsules I have taped to the wall, rigged to explode at the touch of a button. "Wait, you really think I can pull this off?"

Her face hardens a bit, eyebrows straight lines as she bites on her lower lip. "You want me to be honest with you, Tor?"

I nod my head vigorously; of course I want her to be honest with me. "You're one of my best friends, Cat. I'd be upset if you weren't honest with me."

"I think you're gonna make Jade laugh again."

"I asked you to be honest, not to kick me in the face full on."

All Cat does is laugh, because that's all she's seemingly programmed to do. I sigh, pushing her blunt honesty out of my mind as we put the final, finishing touches on my apartment. A few minutes later, we're both standing at the front door, admiring our handiwork. I silently thank whoever I need to thank upstairs that Cat's amazing costume making talents have transferred to decorations and designing rooms and whatnot. I wouldn't have been able to do even half of this without her help. "Thank you so much, again, for everything Cat. The place looks great. I seriously owe you one."

"No need to thank meeeee!", she sings in that light airy voice of hers, her arms wrapped around me tightly. "Just doing what I can to help out my two best friends on Halloweeeeeen!"

"I forgot to ask, what are you doing for Halloween, Cat?"

"Oh, so my brother is throwing a party with some of his special friends", she replies, putting air quotes around "special", "And we're gonna play 'Stick the nose on the Reindeer', and whoever makes the reindeer's nose turn red doesn't get punched by our cousin Jesse."

Yeah, some things really never do change.

A few hours later pass in the blink of an eye, and before I even realize it, it's pushing six. Looking out into the parking lot, I see Jade pull up into her parking spot, and that's when the feeling that this is actually happening starts to settle into the pit of my stomach. There's no looking back now, no, I need to pull this off and scare the living daylights out of my girlfriend. Peeking back out the window, I see her shut the door and begin her walk up here. Flicking the light switch off, I get into position, anticipation building inside of me as I anxiously wait for her to enter.

"Here goes nothing", I murmur to myself as I hear the door open and click shut, followed by the stomping of Jade's boots.

"Vega, I'm ho—", I hear her stop short of finishing. "What the hell is…are those lightbulbs shaped like drops of blood?", she asks herself aloud, and I can hear her mutter something about stringing them up in our room. Of course. I peek out from my hiding spot, and she's standing in the middle of the hall, hands grazing across the lights, venturing dangerously close to the first part of my surprise. "Tori, where are you? What's with the lights and music?", referencing the score I have playing; I'm surprised she hasn't recognized it as the score to 'The Scissoring'. It's only her favorite movie ever.

Right as she reaches the middle of the hallway, is when I initiate part one of Operation: Scare Jade until She Wazzes a Little (I know, I need to think of a better name, whatever). Pressing the button on the mini detonator Cat helped me rig, I look up, the sounds of the blood capsules exploding from the wall, some of them popping right onto her, covering her in fake blood (at least, I think it's fake blood…I have to check with Cat when I see her next). Eagerly, I wait for her to start cursing up a storm and demanding that I show myself but instead she…laughs. Hysterically. She even runs her fingers along the wall, rubbing the blood between her fingertips.

"Impressive, Vega! You're already doing better than last year! Granted, that's not saying much..."

My eyes narrow, staring daggers into her from my hiding spot, before relaxing, a sigh escaping my lips. I have two more phases to go, and by the end of it, I just know she'll be terrified and will definitely never make fun of me for not being scary ever again. I know it.

"Are these spiders real or fake? I don't care, I'm keeping them anyways."

My eyes roll so hard I'm certain they're about to pop out of my head. Scurrying from my previous hiding spot behind the couch in the living room, I poke my head out from around the corner in our tiny kitchen, watching as she plucks the spiders off the wall like she's doing her eyebrows. That's when I turn the lights off, switching the music to some foreign death march I found on Zaplook, and begin stomping my feet from the kitchen. I can see her silhouette spinning around in place on her heels, like a kid in a candy store almost. She's still laughing, like this is some kind of dream come true for her. It's not supposed to be! This is supposed to scare her!

Groaning, I stop stomping and then yank on the cord in my hand, watching as the hopefully-fake skeleton falls from the ceiling, landing next to Jade's feet. She picks it up, examining it for the briefest of moments, before letting out an even louder howl of laughter and now she's…dancing with it.

What. The. Heck.

"I can't believe you went through all this trouble just for me, Tori! This is amazing!", she calls out, thanking whoever I need to that she can't hear me pounding my head on the wall over the music. It's okay, I tell myself once I'm done giving myself a minor concussion. The last phase will definitely scare her. It has to.

Waiting until her back is turned, I sneak past her and run into our bedroom, having stopped the music so she could hear what I had to say. "Aw, why'd you kill the sound? I might have to make that my new ringtone!", she says, her voice echoing off the walls. I sigh but remain undeterred. This is it.

"Jaaaaaaade", my voice rings out, trying to make myself as ghoulish sounding as possible. "If you thought this was scaryyyyyy—"

"It wasn't", she quickly cuts in, and I nearly stop what I'm doing there, but I'm an actress and I refuse to break character.

"Then come to the bedroooom for the ultimate surpriseeeeee."

"What can be better than having blood explode in my face and dancing with a real skeleton?", she asks, more to herself as her boots clomped down the hall towards our bedroom. "Seriously, this might be the best Hallo—"

She stops dead in her tracks upon opening the door, and that's when I know that I've finally succeeded in scaring the pants off of her. I'm lying in the middle of our bed, having covered myself in more of the fake blood (I seriously hope it's fake), torn my clothes up, and having strategically placed her scissors from The Scissoring that Cat had gotten her into my eyes (oh, the wonders of makeup).

I hear her rush over to my side, tugging on my hand to see if this is some kind of joke. When I don't respond, I can hear her whisper something to the effect of 'Wake up', but I don't do as she instructs. I remain as limp and lifeless as I can, trying my hardest not to crack a smile and yell "GOTCHA!" at her. She gives my hand another shake, this time a little more forceful, and I can tell she's starting to not like this, no miss, not at all.

"Come on, Tori, wake up, this isn't funny."

Just wait a minute, Jade, and I will…wait.

I venture a peek, opening one eye to find that Jade's…crying? No, that can't be right, Jade never cries…and then I see her shoulders heave up and down, followed her breath catching in her throat. I quickly shut my eye and go back to playing dead once she turns back around, but her sobs are hanging in the air as she grabs hold of my hand again.

"Please wake up, Vega. If you were trying to scare me, you've succeeded, okay? I'm legitimately terrified right now, so please wake up."

The urge to revel in the glory of having scared her begins to wear off, and in its place is worry. I didn't think she'd react this way. Does she actually think I offed myself? There's no way she'd actually believe that, right? And yet, her sobs are becoming heavier and she's continuing to sniffle and wipe her nose with the back of her hand, from what I can see through squinting eyes. Suddenly I don't feel like putting up with this-

"I love you, Vega. I truly, truly love you."

-charade anymore.

I don't let her say anything else; my hand snaps outward to grab her wrist, and she screams the loudest I think I've ever heard her scream, but she doesn't pull away, thankfully. I rise up, as if I were the Undertaker, and immediately wrap her up in a hug, making sure not to bong her in the head with the scissors now dangling from under my eyes. We don't say anything for a few minutes, the only sounds being that of her sobs slowly dying as I rub her spine, her face buried in my slick, bloody hair.

"Did you really think I would do this to myself on purpose?"

She pulls away, eyes still puffy and nose runny, and I swear I can see the ghost of a smile spread across her lips. "No…no. I just…I…"

"Jade…talk to me. You just what?"

"I love you, okay? And I know, I'm not the best at expressing my emotions, and all that chiz, but seeing you like that…it just…I don't want to lose you, okay? So please. Don't ever scare me like that again."

My heart begins doing somersaults. This might be the best day ever, and it's not even my birthday or Christmas or our anniversary. Jade West. Loves me. Jade West loves me. AND I scared her! I can't believe this is happening, and now I'm crying, and she's smiling and pawing away tears again, and we're hugging and just wow. I detach my arms from around her neck and hold her by her shoulders, leaning in to give her a kiss.

"I promise, you won't be losing me anytime soon, Jade. I love you too. And I love you even more now that I know that I can scare you. I guess you are human after all, huh?"

She laughs, and then I join in, and it's moments like these that remind me why I fell for her in the first place. She's just…

The best.

…

"So, where'd you get the blood?"

"Cat's brother got it for me."

"...is it fake?"

"Gosh, I really hope so."

"And the skeleton?"

"Also from Cat's brother."

"...we're gonna have to clean and disinfect the entire apartment, you realize that."

"We can start that tomorrow."

…

"Are those the scissors Cat got me? The ones from The Scissoring?"

…

"Um..."

"What have I told you about touching my favorite scissors, Tori?"

…

"Have I told you how much I love you lately?"

I know, it's a week past Halloween but I wanted to post this and take my first stab at Jori. Now that all of Victorious is on Netflix, I've been binging the hell out of it to get a good grasp on the characters, and I hope I succeeded in doing so, if only a little bit. As for everything else I'm currently writing, they're all being worked on and will be updated throughout the month. Thank you for your patience. Hope you enjoyed!