Finding Hope through Grief
Chapter 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel nor any of its characters.
As Wanda looked at the clock on the wall, she was disappointed to see that only ten minutes had passed. She inwardly groaned as her worst nightmare about coming here was true.
When Steve had originally suggested going to a self-help group she scoffed at the idea, talking to a group of strangers about her personal feelings did not sound appealing. However, he had made it clear that she wasn't processing her grief over her brother properly and needed help.
Wanda's first reaction was to deny she was struggling, but the firm look Steve gave her quickly broke down any excuse she could come up with.
In truth, she was hurting a lot more than what the rest of the Avengers were seeing. The first few weeks after the incident in Sokovia were fine, whether it was the thrill of being in a position where she could finally help people, moving to a new country and into the Avengers Compound, or just the change in her usual routine with morning training and the missions she went on.
Once her life settled down she could now no longer distract her mind and was left to think about her fallen brother. The nightmares were the worst part, every night she would either see a memory of the two of them, or she would see her brother get shot down by Ultron, helpless to save him. The latter in which would leave her screaming in her sleep.
Her life wasn't any better awake, as any memory that reminded her of brother would either cause her to break down crying or cause her to unleash her powers onto any poor objects within her vicinity. It didn't take long for the rest of the Avengers to notice and they approached her one on one on trying to work through her grief.
She appreciated the fact that they all were trying to help her, but she still didn't know a lot about them and it left her uncomfortable speaking about something very deep and personal to her. The only one who made her open up a little was Clint, the man had offered her a room in his farmhouse, and suggested time away would do her good. Wanda quickly denied the kind offer, with her unstable powers she would put his family in a lot of harm and she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she hurt any of them.
As her problem kept persisting Steve had given her an ultimatum, either she would spend an hour of her time one-on-one with a therapist hired by Tony or she would go to a self-help group in the city. She chose this option, as this would allow her to not be forced to speak and just sit back as the two hours passed.
As Wanda glanced at the clock and saw only five more minutes passed since she last looked, she started to wonder if she made the right choice.
She looked around the room trying to find something to distract her but the room itself was bland. It was a gymnasium in a high school and yet there were no sights of any sports equipment. There were bleachers behind her and a few basketball hoops but that was it.
"Wanda do you feel like sharing next?" a voice spoke up across from her.
Wanda looked back in front of her and saw almost everyone was staring at her.
"Sorry, what did you say?" She asked
"I asked if you felt like sharing why you're here," Mark replied. Mark was the leader so to speak, he apparently organized these weekly group meetings and every session he apparently started it by opening up about his problems and why he started this group.
"No," She answered quickly, she had no interest in sharing.
Whether he was used to this sort of behavior or was just pretending to be nice just nodded and asked someone else if they wanted to share.
Wanda didn't have anything against Mark or this group its just she felt very alone when she heard them share their stories, a wife grieving over the loss of her husband through a heart attack several years ago, a young man losing his mom to cancer, or a father losing his son to a drug overdose.
They couldn't relate to what she went through with her brother. Huddled in the corner holding one another in a caved in house staring at a inactive mortar shell wondering any moment if this would be their last day, being enlisted by Hydra and having countless experiments performed on them, watching as their home become a war zone by foreign soldiers and Ultrons robots, or feeling the exact moment she felt her twin brother being killed and the connection they shared being extinguished.
Wanda could feel a few tears dripping down her face and she quickly wiped them hoping no one saw, the last thing she needed was everyone asking her what was bothering her.
She needed to distract herself from the memories of her brother until she got back to the Compound; she figured getting a look at the other people in here would keep her mind off Pietro.
Nothing really stood out about them, some were dressed in nice clothing, others looked as if they went straight from bed to here.
It was when her eyes landed on a small boy that her eyes narrowed in attention. Wanda was confused about why someone far younger than everyone in this room was here, even though she was only nineteen she thought this group was for adults; the boy at best was thirteen.
However, it wasn't the boy's age that got her attention it was his eyes. A pit started to form in her stomach as she realized the look the boy had in his eyes was the loss of a parent. She knew this as she'd seen the same look on Pietro's eyes after the death of their parents and she knew she had the same look as well. Wanda's heart broke a bit at the fact, someone, that young was dealing with the death of someone close to him.
"Thanks for sharing Susan, why don't we take a small break and resume after," Mark said breaking Wanda out of her thoughts.
Wanda instantly stood up and started to walk away, she was happy she was halfway through this but she still had another hour to go.
It was at that moment her stomach started to rumble, the one good thing about this was that Mark had been kind of enough to bring some donuts with him. She made her way over the small table that had the snacks, however, she was disappointed to find that the other group members had already eaten them all. The only thing left was a single plain donut.
"Oh man." Wanda heard a voice whine beside her.
She glanced over and saw it was the boy from earlier, he seemed to share in her disappointment over the lack of food.
"You can have the last donut." She offered, it wasn't much but the single donut wasn't going to satisfy her, might as well let him have it.
The boy's eyes widened as he realized someone was standing right beside him. He quickly blushed and turned his head.
"Oh, uh sorry, didn't mean to whine about it right in front of you." He said while rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
"Hungry?" She asked she didn't know why she was making a conversation with him but at this point, this was the most interesting part of this session.
The low rumble emitting from his stomach was enough of an answer; Wanda couldn't help but giggle, much to the boy's embarrassment.
"Ye- yeah. Didn't feel like having breakfast this morning so I just skipped it." He answered quietly.
To anyone else, forgetting to eat would've sounded like a typical teenager thing to do, but she could see from the way the boy said it there was something deeper. Wanda had remembered the few times after her parents died she didn't have an appetite to eat, of course, she regretted it afterward but she just didn't feel like doing anything that required effort.
She saw Mark motioning for everyone to take a seat, the displeasure of continuing this session and the fact her stomach was bugging her to eat only made it worse. It was at that moment Wanda made a decision. "Want to get something to eat?" She asked.
The boy's head perked up at her question, he looked around confused as he glanced around the room. "There isn't any more food."
Wanda merely raised an eyebrow at him.
The boy's eyes widened as he finally figured out what she was implying. "Oh! You want to leave and get food from somewhere else?"
"That's the idea." She replied.
The boy got a nervous look as he saw the group started taking their seats. "But we can't just leave, it isn't over."
It took everything in Wanda not to laugh out loud at the boy's words, it was very cute. "Were allowed to leave, this isn't mandatory, we won't get in trouble."
As if to prove her point she started walking to the opposite side of the gymnasium towards the exit. Once she'd reached the door she saw no one in the group had said anything or looked in her direction. She gave one more glance at the boy before walking out. She'd taken ten steps before she heard the sound of someone running behind her.
XXX
They'd found a small pizzeria close by, any worry the boy seemed to have about leaving the session prematurely was gone as he was almost drooling at the list of options on the menu.
A soft smile formed on Wanda's face as the boy's mood seemed to perk up. It reminded her of her time in Sokovia, Pietro and her weren't the only children orphaned and homeless, any chance she could she'd help take care of the little ones, whether giving them more of her own food, helping sew their clothes, or just holding them when they missed their parents. She figured it was the same that attracted her to this boy, someone who had gone through the same pain she had and she felt the need to help when she could.
They soon reached the front and were ready to order; Wanda motioned for the boy to go first.
"I would like a small pepperoni pizza please." He ordered.
"That'll be $5.99." The cashier told him.
The boy quickly rummaged through his pockets before pulling out his wallet, he opened and turned it upside to dump the contents of it out. He was disappointed to see that there were only three dollars worth of change inside.
She noticed the boy's mood seemed to darken a bit as he realized he couldn't afford it.
"Change his order to a large, were sharing." She insisted as she stepped up and pulled out the credit card Steve had given her.
"You, don't have to do that, I'll just get a slice." The boy tried to object shaking his head.
"I would feel bad eating an entire pizza while you only had a slice." She replied kindly paying for the meal.
Realizing the boy wouldn't win he smiled in defeat. "Thank you."
The cashier gave them a ticket and said their order would be ready in ten minutes, they found a table by the front window and settled in. There was a bit of awkward silence for the first minute, neither was sure on what to say, they were strangers.
Now that there weren't any distractions she could get a better look at him. He was fairly young, a tad on the leaner side, his hair was brown and slightly curled to the side, and he was wearing a shirt that had a small green figure she didn't recognize.
"I'm Peter by the way." He said.
Wanda blinked once before realizing she'd never asked his name was only referring to him as "The Boy".
"I'm Wanda." She smiled at him.
"So where are you from Wanda? I don't recognize your accent." Peter asked.
Wanda's initial response was to say "Sokovia", however, she was purposely keeping a low profile. After the events of Ultron, the world knew the Avengers had gained several new members, one of which was a native of the war-torn country. All the government or media knew was the figure was dressed in red and female, the Avengers were trying to keep her identity a secret before an official announcement could be made and the legal paperwork could get through.
She placed her arm on the table and propped her head on top of her hand a small smile of amusement on her face. "Why don't you guess?"
Peter seemed to take her challenge seriously as she could see his forehead creased in concentration and his eyes narrow in thought.
"Well, I would narrow it down to Europe, definitely not western or central. Maybe Slovakia?" Peter finally guessed.
"Hmmm, close." Wanda mused, impressed that he'd almost guess where she lived. "Where are you from?" She said quickly changing the conversation.
Peter had a bashful look on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, a habit she noticed of his. "Nowhere quite as far you are from, I was born and raised here in Queens for all my life."
"Nothing wrong with that, I lived in my home for almost…" Wanda paused as she tried to remember the English word for the number before giving up and making a one and nine with her fingers.
Peter snickered at her, and she couldn't help but pout. "As you can see I'm having trouble with English." She told him.
"Sorry, that was rude of me. I've been learning Spanish in school and it isn't easy, so I shouldn't make fun of you." Peter apologized but he still had a small smile on his face.
Wanda pretended to huff in annoyance but the smile on her face gave her away. "You're lucky you're adorable or I would've hit you."
Peter squared and sat up a bit straighter in his seat. "I'm not adorable I'm almost an adult."
Wanda raised an amused eyebrow at him. "How old are you?"
"Thirteen, but my birthday is coming up soon." He said with far too much confidence.
Wanda couldn't help but laugh lightly at the display, it reminded her so much of Pietro. When they had turned ten he'd felt that was old enough to be considered an adult. She watched with fascination as he walked up to their father and demanded that he gets a say in what they eat for dinner since he was a grown-up and should be able to decide, an empty threat of him being forced to cook every meal quickly dispelled any notion he was all grown up and gladly enjoyed being a kid with her.
The sudden reminder of her brother and parents quickly dampened her mood; she was here to keep her mind off of them, not bringing back old memories. She looked back at Peter and saw he had a small frown on his face.
"Are you okay Wanda? You look like someone just told you Star Trek was better than Star Wars?" Peter asked.
Wanda didn't know what he was referencing but she figured it was a way of saying she looked upset. "It's okay, I was just thinking of back home." She said shaking her head.
"What was your home like?" Peter asked taking an interest.
Wanda struggled with how to describe Sokovia without giving it away. "Its...not perfect. I guess like anywhere else there's crime, poverty and a lot of problems, but for most of my life its all I've ever known and in a way, it'll always be home to me." She confessed sadly.
"I think where we're born will always be something attached to us. I'll always consider myself a New Yorker. Is that why you came here?" Peter replied.
"I was presented with an opportunity to live here, I figured it would be a great way to start over and be able to do things I've never been able to do" Wanda further explained, she felt bad about lying partially but a lot of what she said was the truth.
"Like what?"
"I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar. I remember seeing someone on the street performing with it and I thought it was the most beautiful sound I ever heard." She didn't know why she was sharing so much with someone she just met, but Peter just seemed so excited in getting to know her she guessed it was infectious.
"So tell me about yourself, Peter." She asked quickly changing the subject.
"I'm currently building my own computer." He said.
"You know how to build a computer?" Wanda asked skeptically.
Peter nodded vigorously at her. "Yeah, it's not impressive or anything, just parts people threw out that I found and started putting together. " Peter explained before grabbing another slice.
"Not impressive? You're building it from scraps people threw out, that's very impressive." Wanda complimented, actually amazed that someone so young could do that, she certainly couldn't at his age.
Peter blushed at the praise he was given. "Well it's not finished yet, I'll be happy with it when it actually runs."
It wasn't long after that the pizza was ready and the conversation was put on hold to eat. She wasn't that accustomed to western food, but she had to admit the meal was delicious, a quick glance over to her table mate and she saw him devouring the pizza at a speed much faster to Pietro.
Sensing he was being watched he took his eyes off his slice and looked back at her. "So-sorry, I'm just really hungry." He chuckled nervously.
"It's okay, I'm glad I asked you to come. I fear the sounds your body would've made during the session if you didn't eat." She mused playfully before taking a bite of her slice.
"My aunt sometimes jokes that when I'm hungry it sounds like an alien trying to escape from my stomach." Peter joked back and soon both were laughing out loud at the joke.
XXX
"Are you sure you don't need me to walk you home?" Wanda asked. They had just finished their meal and it was time to go back. Steve had told her one of Starks drivers were to pick her up in front of the school.
"No I'm going to be okay, my apartment is just a short subway ride away." He answered pulling his backpack over his shoulders.
Wanda had a nervous look on her face, it wasn't settling to her to leave someone so young unattended in a big city but she didn't want to get in trouble with Steve and the others.
"Alright then, you are almost an adult after all." Wanda chimed.
"You're never going to let that go are you?" Peter groaned putting his head down.
"Have to get you back somehow for laughing at my troubles with English." Wanda mused.
"I admit defeat. I won't laugh at the almighty Wanda ever again." Peter joked raising his hands in defeat.
She laughed out loud at that, she didn't remember the last time she laughed this much and had as much fun. It was nice.
"It was nice meeting you Peter, enjoy the rest of your day," Wanda said.
"It was cool meeting you too, next time pizza is on me," Peter replied before waving goodbye and running to catch his train.
Wanda watched as he crossed the street and was soon out of sight. Peter was a peculiar boy but very fun to be around, she hoped she would see him again soon.
Authors Note: Wanted to write an MCU fanfic in a while, finally came up with a full idea. This story starts just after Age of Ultron and will span several years through Civil War and Homecoming and maybe further if I decide to make this longer. Wanda and Peter will be the pairing but because he's so young it'll take a few years before they get together, so this will be a slow burn so to speak.
The initial part of this story will be both characters going through the grief of their lost loved ones. Wanda handling the death of Pietro and Peter losing uncle Ben. Eventually, it'll move forward with Peter learning how to use his powers and to become a hero with it. I know Peter didn't seem that upset but that's what happens when your mind is distracted. Eventually, they'll share their stories and learn to lean on one another.
Thank you for reading and I'll see you in the next chapter.