"This is roll credits…if you don't wanna sit through the credits get your ass up and walk out the movie theater." –J. Cole

Excerpts from my iPhone

Introduction

This is just going to be me analyzing key details I wanted to discuss from each chapter of the story. I'll be inserting some notes I used to write this story with from my iPhone, telling you about any inspiration I had while writing a chapter or a simple character analysis. There will also be Easter eggs revealed in a few of the sections as well and some deleted scenes I chose not to include with an explanation on why.

I. Grief (stage one)

The Beginning

For the first chapter there isn't much I have to highlight because at first this was just a small idea I had at the time. I wrote this story originally because there weren't a lot of chansaw stories posted and for the ones that were up, a lot of the authors made Heather into the classic scapegoat for jealousy and vindictive behavior. I wanted to show her in a different light and make Veronica into a character with more grey areas than black and white (like in the musical/movie).

The Minions

At this time in the story, Heather only sees Mac and Duke as minions who only hang around because of their responsibility to the hierarchy. Their friendship seems beneficial at best. And even though Veronica tries to sway Heather, telling her they do care about her, she doesn't seem to acknowledge it.

An Unfamiliar Word

One of the key takeaways from this chapter had to be Veronica telling Heather she was beautiful. This was important because Veronica was able to find beauty in Heather when Heather couldn't see it for herself. This also revealed an obvious, or even miniscule, attraction Veronica was either oblivious to or in-denial of (while in her drunk state, she was able to be a bit more truthful and slip). When Heather hears Veronica compliment her, she thinks how the word was unfamiliar. Heather is used to people calling her hot, or sexy, but beautiful isn't a word used to describe her, so she was shocked by Veronica's choice.

A. Easter Egg:

Heather saying ya know was a play on the anime Naruto (yeah, I'm also an anime nerd…just gets better right?).

II. Sadness (stage two)

Different Worlds

In this chapter, after Heather tells Kurt and Ram to leave JD alone after they collide in the hallway, she and Veronica share a few stifled words. Then they go their separate ways. "Heather slipped into her role of popularity looking out of place" Veronica observed. At this moment, she could tell Heather didn't want to be there (at school or in her position of power). Veronica doesn't delve too much into this knowledge during the chapter, but we do learn here that she is aware of Heather's inner conflict while Mac, the most observant of them all, fails to notice.

Mac's Keen Eye

While Heather doesn't see Mac as a close friend during this segment of the story, Mac pays close attention to the events that transpire. Mac was the one to continually stress Veronica and Heather about what happened between them after the party. Mac was the first to notice there was something more than they were letting off on.

Panic Attacks

The panic attack was a last-minute decision, but I loved writing the scene because it pushed Veronica to her brink. Veronica had a panic attack just at the thought of Heather not acknowledging her in her life. This was a big discovery for the readers, giving them insight on how deep Veronica's feelings ran.

This also marked when I started outlining the chapters with more depth.

A. Easter Egg:

"No more slushies, that's my cue to blow this joint."

This was a play on how JD deadass blew up the entire school in the Heather's movie/musical.

III. Distance (stage three)

The Birth of Outlines and Characterization

For the most part, I didn't have a plan in mind for chapter one, but I did start outlining each chapter after the first; some were outlined more than others (you can tell by the plot and the length). Once I wrote the panic attack scene, mentioned in the previous section, everything started coming together much easier. I think chapter three, re-reading it, was a turning point for me as an author (for this story). This marked when the true characterization began. This is where I started testing how far I could stretch our beloved characters into something unfamiliar.

Martha Dump—uhm, Dunnstock

Martha goes against her character design and lies about taking a shower downstairs so she can sneak off and read Veronica's diary to see what's going on after her panic attack. This is also where my parents who aren't useless tag comes into play. In a lot of stories their parents don't do much and I wanted to change that. Alice checks up on Veronica and we find out she knows Heather and thinks she's nice. It's the first sign that there's more to Heather Chandler than Veronica thought.

When Veronica meets up in the truck to drive to school with Martha and JD, it's important to notice how Martha kept Veronica's panic attack a secret. She may have betrayed her trust, but she did respect Veronica enough to keep the panic attack a secret from JD.

A Blue Betrayal

At the end of the chapter when Heather picks out blue for Liz it really was unintentional on my end, but it helped the story flow and create a path of opportunity to the what if aspect of Heather trying to replace Veronica. Maybe I subconsciously wanted that to be the case, but I couldn't tell you; it was probably just pure luck. I'm most likely biased because blue happens to be my favorite color.

Public School

Heather mentions switching to public school with Liz but doesn't talk about it further. This topic wasn't discussed in the story, mostly because I didn't have enough time, but Veronica was the reason. Heather fought her parents on switching to public schools during junior high so she could be closer to Veronica. By time the epilogue hits, Veronica is aware of this fact but doesn't bring it up in the glimpse you read.

A. Easter Egg

I mentioned this in my earlier notes at the end of this chapter or the next (not really sure which) but JD's girlfriend at the time was the Carrie White from Stephen King's book and the musical adaptation. I've been obsessed with the musical and King's work lately and felt inspired to include her in the story.

IV. Wake up Calls (stage four)

Big Fun

This was a favorite chapter for me. It was fun to write the party scene and it felt like I was almost there watching the destruction from the sidelines. It's funny because I had no idea what was going to happen for this chapter, and I was struggling to outline a solid plot. But, on Friday afternoon, while I was sitting in my economics class doodling in my notes it hit me. The idea of the silly body shot—face hot game Kurt and Ram probably came up with, and somehow Veronica and Heather would be coerced into playing. I started writing a short script in my notes about Veronica challenging Heather the way she always does and then everything started flowing.

Chansaw Reunion

My favorite part was writing the long-awaited reunion between Heather and Veronica. It's always interesting to see how people react after having a quarrel. You're so angry but, after some time apart, when you meet up with them again suddenly whatever you were fighting about seems so small. That's exactly what happened between them. The moment they started talking again, they realized they were genuinely happy to see each other and there was also some longing as well. When I re-read their small reunion, I thought back to the quote absence makes the heart grow founder.

Just for Us

It was important to interpret Heather turning her back to the crowd. This was her way of keeping the moment between just her and Veronica. Heather is aware of the eyes that never cease to look away and so she tries to lock them out. It's similar to how she doesn't talk about Maggy at school or about Veronica to her family; the things Heather truly cares about she likes to keep to herself.

Enter: Veronica Asshole Sawyer

When I read most of your comments, after the chapter aired, a lot of people said I was really set on making Veronica into an asshole. I mentioned in my notes, earlier in the story, how I wanted to focus on Veronica's grey areas as a character. Heather is always seen as the more abrasive one, but I wanted to switch roles a bit. My objective was to highlight Veronica's darker aspects, people tend to forget, in the movie/musical, she helped JD kill Kurt and Ram (and Heather) whether intentional or not. She's not perfect. And, in some ways, she and Heather are a lot alike.

It was fun to see how far I could drag Veronica down by focusing on her manipulative nature and her jealousy, but I couldn't go too far with it because if I did then I wouldn't be true to her character. Veronica has these character flaws but she's remorseful and willing to fix her mishaps which is where she and Heather sort of deviate.

A. Easter Egg:

"You like her." Mac realized.

Heather said, "Liking someone doesn't make you feel this crazy."

This piece from the chapter was Heather's subtle way of telling Mac she loved Veronica; it was the only explanation for the way Veronica was making her feel.

V. Anger (stage five)

Mac's Intuition

This chapter marks the point where Mac starts to realize there may be something romantic between Liz and Heather. When they're in the kitchen and Heather starts cooking breakfast for them, Mac pays attention to the way Liz stares at Heather with a dazed expression. This was the first time Liz started feeling romantic attraction for Heather because of the softer side she was seeing.

Worth Fighting For

When Heather argues with her father, begging him to leave so she can go to Lake Spell for the bonfire, he agrees if only she returns home at an appropriate hour. The reason he allows her to go isn't because of her begging but, the fact that she fought for something. Similar to her fighting him on switching to public school, Heather doesn't fight with her father unless it's important to her because when they do fight, she often pays a huge price.

Martha sees Heather, for a moment

Martha, very briefly, is able to see Heather in a different light. When Heather defends Veronica to Duke, forbidding her from messing with Veronica again, it resonates on Martha. Martha realizes Heather wasn't responsible for the FaceTime call and is furious when she finds out the truth. However, later on, when Martha finds Veronica crying over Heather again her old perspective on Heather comes back. By the end of the chapter it's clear Martha isn't sold on Heather and is still harboring animosity towards her for leaving Veronica in such a state.

The Blazer

Heather taking her blazer back was a melting point for Veronica. It marks the moment where Veronica started realizing the gravity of it all and it left her defeated, and a little unstable. This is the lowest point for her because she's thinking the worst of her friendship with JD (after kissing him to make Heather jealous) and it feels like Heather has finally removed her from her life.

The Truth

When we reach our melting point it makes us more inclined to speak our mind. Having listened to Heather's voicemails, Veronica is left in a fragile state and it doesn't help that Martha is yelling at her, demanding answers. Pushed to her brink, Veronica is forced to speak the truth she's kept hidden from herself since the beginning; she has feelings for Heather Chandler.

I know everyone was probably thinking, fucking finally, but it was fun to write an in-denial Veronica and contemplating how she would react when faced with the truth.

VI. Interest in Something New (stage six)

Growth Involves Trench Coats and Slushie's

Putting aside everything that happened in this chapter, it was important to acknowledge Veronica's growth. She could have went straight to Heather's house to confess her feelings and apologize but, instead, she makes things right between her and JD first.

You're the One I Choose

In the end Heather chooses Veronica (shocker, I know). But, it's important to look back on chapter three when Liz confesses her feelings during this chapter. When Liz went to visit Heather, she noticed the heartbreak Heather was going through and said "…you're not what they make you out to be. You're not a monster or a bitch or the Demon Queen…". Liz was trying to comfort Heather, but she unknowingly dug her own grave. It's easier to analyze Liz's confession when we compare it to Veronica's in this chapter:

"—I'm a bitch."

…

"Yeah," Veronica nodded, "Surprise, you're a bitch. You're also a power-hungry monster who has made my life, and close friends, miserable. You're the Demon Queen of Westerberg High School and I love it. When you yell at me, my face gets hot and I swear I forget my name. I shouldn't get butterflies in my stomach when you boss me around or when you make everyone go silent with a single glare.

"I know I shouldn't, but I accept every part of you…"

Heather chooses Veronica because she accepts her entirely. Liz means well in her confession, but she holds Heather on a pedestal she isn't worthy of sitting on and Heather knows it. Heather was able to fool herself, thinking she could be good with Liz, she thought she could learn to change, but it all crumbled when Veronica reminded her of who she was.

I Raised You Better

Writing JD's reaction to finding out about Veronica's feelings for Heather was fun and nerve wrecking. When I first drafted the reaction, I felt like it really fell short and wasn't very realistic. It was really goofy at first and I didn't change it until I was proofreading the chapter and I said, yeah, no this isn't going to work this doesn't flow at all. I knew he would be furious because he hates Heather Chandler and the feeling intensified when Veronica chose her over him. So, I added some old elements (feelings for Veronica that JD still has locked up) and rewrote the scene; when it was finished, I loved it a lot more than the previous one.

Stoop Kid's Afraid to Leave the Stoop

This was my second favorite chapter to write just because of Veronica's confession and her reunion with Heather. While I was reading everything, start to finish, once I got to this part I starting laughing. It was so cruel, and amazing, how Heather finally felt like everything was coming together in her life. She had just dropped Liz off, after the kiss, and convinced herself she could be a new/better person with Liz. But then Veronica shows up, camped out on her porch, with a wrecking ball and fucks her life up again; or at least, that's what her initial thought was.

It was funny to me how Heather is walking home, a smile on her face, all happy about the future (probably cute cheesy music playing in the background) before she sees Veronica on her step, and everything turns to shit (cue the jaws music).

Heather, I Lov—

In chapter four we learned Heather loves Veronica but, during their romantic entanglement, when Veronica tries to confess Heather stops her with a kiss. She does it again a couple chapters later. In the comments no one mentioned this, so I wanted to elaborate on it.

Heather was aware of what Veronica was going to say each time. Her stopping Veronica with a kiss was intentional. When Veronica was lying in bed with Heather, after spotting the college applications on her desk, fear and anxiety began to creep in when she realized Heather hadn't fully accepted her confession. Veronica acknowledged that Heather had trust issues and was most likely still in denial about everything in order to protect her heart from more damage. Heather was protecting herself the same way by stopping Veronica from saying those three words because she wasn't sure if Veronica would come to her senses and change her mind about her as time progressed.

A. Easter Egg:

It was pretty obvious, but the mention of Heather's top three schools Harvard, Duke, and Brown were a play on the Heather's musical opening song Beautiful (one of my favorites, like I have every line memorized…I have too much and not enough time on my hands).

Another one was the Riverdale reference where JD was going off on a rant about being weird.

B. Favorite Quote(s):

My favorite quote from this chapter and maybe the story overall has to be this:

Veronica ran after her; the blue scarf waving in the air, similar to a mystic cape but Veronica was no hero; she was the villain, trying to stop Heather from getting her happy ending.

VII. Acceptance (stage seven)

Race of the Century!

This idea was also a spur of the moment thing that came to me during my economics class (I swear I got work done in there I promise, I even got an A at the end of the semester). I remembered Liz being on the track team and I needed a way for her and Veronica to become friends, but not without some rivalry first, and the race was the perfect opportunity. It was exciting to write mainly because I run track myself, so it was easy to describe how sprinters feel when they're on the line and what's going through our minds when we're running.

I'm Not Ashamed of You

I know I didn't specify on an exact timeline for this story but them having iPhones and knowledge of present-day movies speaks for itself. This helped contribute to Heather not being afraid to be public with Veronica at school or to her family. I don't even show the scene where Heather tells her parents she's with Veronica because it would have been short and anticlimactic…seriously, it would have been like this:

"Hey," Heather mumbled as she walked into the kitchen this dreadful Saturday morning.

"Morning." Mary said, "Maggy and I are going to the outlets to do some shopping. Do you want to join us?"

"I'm busy."

Mary rolled her eyes. "Do tell. What's more important than spending time with me." She almost didn't want to know the answer; she assumed it would be some sly remark, but Heather surprised her saying—

"I have a date with Veronica."

Mary choked on her coffee. "Excuse me?"

"Did I forget to tell you?" Heather frowned, "I'm dating Veronica now."

I always admired how Heather was never afraid to speak her mind. So, why wouldn't she be the same with her relationship with Veronica? A lot of stories make Heather a closet lesbian who acts out with violence to hide her true feelings, but I think it's the opposite. She knows she's Heather Chandler. Heather knows she rules the school and I honestly don't think she'd give a shit about what anybody said about her being with Veronica.

So, setting the timeframe in the present, it was easier to allow their friends and family to accept their relationship. This wasn't a coming out story; it was an overview of the steps to deal with unrequited love.

VIII. Adjusting to Change (stage eight)

Fuck Change

In this chapter the main focus was change and how the characters responded to it and adjusted. I wanted to really delve into how Heather and Veronica needed to learn how to balance their relationship with each other as well as their friendships (which they've been neglecting). I really needed to find a way for Heather and JD to squash their beef and the dinner party, where Heather defended them all, was the perfect place for it to happen.

She's Smart?

In a lot of chansaw stories, they have Heather as a character who doesn't care about her education or studies too much. I wanted to change this because it didn't make sense to me. Heather is from a wealthy family and usually when this is the case, the parents put extra money into giving the children the proper education they need. I could picture Heather having piano classes, French lessons at a young age, all these tutors for different sets of skills. A lot of stories didn't show this side of her family, how invested they'd be in her future, so I wanted to.

A. Easter Egg

Alex Dever was a play on one of the Castle Rock characters in Stephen King's show on Hulu; Henry Deaver (the boy).

Also, the scene where it seems like Martha is checking Heather out is exactly what I was trying to convey. I feel like everyone could have a crush on Heather if they got to know her or see her in other ways they aren't used to.

B. Random Notes

Also, while I was writing this, I did not want it to be this long. I was like 10K words in and I was like, holy shit I still have other things I have to put in for the plot. I was going to add a steamy scene between Heather and Veronica but I really didn't want the chapter to stretch on any longer so I cut it short at the park scene.

Epilogue

Wait…Something's Missing

This chapter already starts off different from the rest. In every chapter (except the first) the story opens up with an entry from Veronica's diary. This chapter takes place four years later when the duo are in college; Veronica is reading on the couch instead of writing in her diary. This shows the growth Veronica had obtained over the years. Veronica isn't relying on writing in her diary anymore and is instead living in the moment.

Out of Place

When the story starts you may feel like the characters don't exactly have the same traits as they had in the previous chapters. They seem similar to the characters you once knew but there's something different about them; and so, you feel a little out a place while you're reading the story. But that's good because it's been four years, a lot has changed, so you should feel out of place. Veronica isn't that rambunctious teenager anymore who makes these huge scenes but instead she controls herself and addresses whatever problem she has with Heather so they can talk it out. Veronica has matured over the years. Likewise, Heather isn't as deviant anymore, but there are still subtle hints or situations where it's revealed she could get that way if she needs to.

Life Can Be Beautiful

Whether you guys think Veronica will eventually end up writing and producing the Heather's musical based on the ending, is up to you guys. I like to think Veronica would create it based on her own life as she explained in the chapter. She has the writing capability so maybe she could just make it into a novel…But, it's up to your interpretation.

A Familiar End

I wanted the ending of the last chapter to be the same as the first. So, I added Veronica's diary entry at the bottom, the first one she's ever written, to put an emphasis on the cycle I was trying to create; I wanted the story to end the way it started.

The Last Word

I wanted the last word of the story to be blazer because it played a huge role in the story and brining Heather and Veronica closer together. It's funny, ironically so, how the very object Veronica despised became her safety net.

September 1st

The first and last diary entry was exciting to write and read. I really think it helped sum up the story because during this chapter we see how well Heather and Veronica are doing but then we close out with Veronica's first take on Heather in high school and—we sort of go back to the beginning.

The entry was to put in place to emphasis the overall cycle of the story.

Conclusion

Takeaway

If you haven't noticed, after analyzing every chapter, Veronica and Heather have been on this journey together. Initially, I was going to have Heather go through these stages alone as she learned to cope with Veronica not reciprocating her feelings but, things changed. The more I wrote, the more I realized Veronica is going through the stages too. When Heather takes time away from school, Veronica is also feeling the distance and opts for a couple sick days. During Wake up Calls Heather realizes Veronica isn't the perfect person she thought she was meanwhile Veronica discovers the feelings she has been concealing about Heather. In Anger, they're both feeling the heat and lash out at each when they're at Lake Spell. During Interest in Something New, Veronica is contemplating her feelings for Heather meanwhile Heather is doing the same with Liz.

Knowingly or not, Heather and Veronica traveled this path together even when they were apart. At first, I was going to have the story end with Veronica settling into her new, exciting, relationship with Heather meanwhile, off screen, the cycle continues with Liz as she learns to deal with Heather's unrequited love for her. That's what was going on before the four-year time gap. I didn't have enough time to relay this message; Liz went through the cycle but was able to find new love with JD overtime.

Okay, I'm Done Now

Thanks for finishing this story with me to the end for those who stayed to read all of this. It was a fun ride and overall it was a great project to work on. I didn't want it to be a long story, because track season will soon be stealing my weekends and school will get hectic but I'm glad I could finish it. I appreciate you guys for reading and I hope you all had a great Christmas!

"If you made it this far then I really fuck with you." –J. Cole