The War Game

Written by: AtheistBasementDragon

Edited by: The Usual Gang of Drunken Perverted Idiots

Albedo was rarely bored, being the equivalent of a Prime Minister kept her rather busy, but with her lord away and everything designed to run the state in place, there were sometimes hours where she was truly at peace, which is to say... she had not a damn thing to do. Early on she studied to be a wife and a mother to prepare for the day when her lord would love her as he had decreed that she should love him. However, she noted that she had enough clothes and had read all the books in the library that were relevant to what she needed to know.

So... what else was there to do but find enjoyment in the company of her relative peers?

Which were of course, Pandora's Actor and Demiurge.

The two had one common interest in particular, and that was strategy gaming. Whereas Albedo did not enjoy it as naturally as they, she came to appreciate it on a fundamental level as a rare intellectual challenge, and so as a result, she began to play with them.

Using some simple toys, they devised a system of state administration and military conflict influenced by dice and cards that they could play against one another in an ever shifting system of alliances, betrayals, and coups that laid the groundwork for their little military victories.

"As expected of Albedo." Demiurge said, when she betrayed Pandora's Actor with her soldiers behind his lines, and began firing into his massed ranks, little toy soldiers were removed from the grid squares they occupied, as she rolled a perfect twenty twice in a row, inflicting devastating damage on her 'new' opponent.

"Of course." She said smugly as the turn passed to Demiurge.

"Of course, indeed, and that is why I anticipated your choice to betray him and informed him of this fact, you have hit only his weakest and least experienced soldiers." Demiurge then added, "While I have saved my movement points for my elites for just this occasion." Demiurge smiled and did a forced march against three of her major city markers, and seized each of them with minimal effort.

"Alas! I am NOT undone as you planned mein gut Overseer!" Pandora's Actor said dramatically as he wheeled about his infantry and began a fighting withdrawal that took his men out of reach, and shockingly, into territory held by Demiurge, which he proceeded to plunder to restore his strength. "Or you, my good Demiurge! Did you think I would not see that you planned for us to destroy one another as you enriched yourself?!" He asked as he betrayed his ally in turn.

Demiurge cursed as he realized his own territory was being plundered rather than defended.

"I should expect nothing less from the creation of our Lord." Demiurge said as he shook his head, "However, I am prepared with a defense in depth, you will get no deeper without help."

"And he will have it." Albedo replied as she said, "Half the treasure you've plundered, and I will sell you some of my forces as mercenaries, on the condition that you flank him if he should withdraw from my territory to stop you."

"Agreed!" Pandora's actor replied enthusiastically.

Thus they conducted the trade as soon as they harvested what resources they could, and Demiurge struck deeper into Albedo's territory as she moved her other armies in to besiege the areas he'd taken.

Pandora's Actor seized two more city markers from Demiurge before he was forced to hire more mercenaries, and Demiurge found that even though he took two more from Albedo, he could no longer advance, nor could she, leaving them at a stalemate.

Two more rounds passed without a change until Albedo looked smug, "Demiurge, withdraw your armies from my territory and I will withdraw the support of my mercenaries from Pandora's Actor, and we can go plunder his lands together with the wealth of it, you can reclaim your lands from him."

"Agreed!" Demiurge replied, and the alliances shifted once again.

"I gasp! Am I undone!" Pandora's Actor remarked tragically as the two advanced on his territory. "Nein!" He emphatically quipped, and played a natural disaster card, creating flooding that slowed their advance and forced them to march a longer route to his territory, giving him time to abandon Demiurge's lands to go defend his own from two sides.

"Well, there's no place like home." Albedo said as she abandoned Demiurge and took back the cities he'd captured, the plundering he'd done had reduced their value to one, giving her no income from them, but the same happened to his own. However, with the wealth Demiurge had temporarily gained, he was, on his own, able to take several city markers from Pandora and plunder them the same way even with his attempt at a flank by the expedition Albedo had weakened by abandoning him.

"Got en Himmel!" Pandora's Actor exclaimed, "I am struck down by villainous betrayal!" He gestured theatrically, and then moved his cavalry out from a hidden position and rolled a twenty, devastating Demiurge's expeditionary force.

"We have a problem." Albedo said as she looked at the board.

"Yes, yes we do." Demiurge and Pandora's Actor echoed as they looked down at the same thing.

All the territory values that generated income for armies had been reduced to a value of one, meaning nobody had the money to raise new armies, and they'd destroyed each other so thoroughly that their 'war' had effectively ended in a draw unless they spent numerous boring turns letting their territories rebuild gradually with random dice rolls to up their values.

"Draw?" Demiurge asked. He did not much care for long waits.

"Draw." Albedo echoed.

"Draw." Pandora's Actor agreed.

"No wonder our Lord spends so much time winning lands with minimal conflict, if he did things this way, even when he won, it would be like winning a prize of garbage, and 'not' a chest of jewels." Demiurge said with sage understanding that was quickly echoed by the other two.

"Shall we play again?" Albedo asked. "This makes two hundred and seventy two draws and zero wins for anyone so far."

Pandora's Actor and Demiurge shrugged amicably, none of them 'cheated' beyond the expected betrayals of the game itself, so it was always an amicable engagement, "Why not, it will pass the time until our Lord returns." Demiurge said.

"I'll shuffle the cards, you lay out the board." Pandora's Actor said enthusiastically to Albedo.

"Happy to." She said, "Winner gets to play as Nazarick next game?" She proposed.

"Agreed." Both Demiurge and Pandora's Actor said optimistically. So far... nobody had gotten to play as Nazarick, and while none of the three would ever admit it, these constant draws reminded them that none of them were worthy to do so, after all, who could properly represent the true ruler of conspiracy?

None of them, and they knew it, but they did at least enjoy the game, the company, and pretending that one day, they too could plan for twenty thousand years in advance.

The guardians had been playing in the Nazarick bar, and being the public place that it was, this rapidly began to draw attention, most of the time they were in relative isolation, however when the bartender mentioned the way the 'three geniuses' were playing, it rapidly began to draw an audience that would just 'drop by' and linger to watch.

The two hundred and seventy fourth game went no different than the last, Demiurge betrayed Pandora's Actor, setting his lakes on fire so his fishing industry was ruined, not realizing that he anticipated this and traded the fishing income to Albedo in exchange for support, outraging her and driving her to massacre the three great cities of Demiurge. Pandora's Actor responded to the opportunity to weaken his erstwhile ally and burned all her fields, reducing their value to one for the next seven turns, thus none of them drew income, and all they could do was watch their armies all starve to death until their income could be rebuilt and they could start again.

As they passed around the dice and drew random event cards, they chatted. "So we'll be solidifying our hold over the Northern Holy Kingdom soon, and the Southern Holy Kingdom is completely withdrawing from the conflict." Albedo said casually, smiling as she drew an earthquake card which she tucked away in her stash.

"Yeeeeesss! Mein vater is a genius!" Pandora's Actor replied as he waved his arms dramatically upwards and leaned back in his chair before he shot forward and drew a card, grateful for his permanent poker face when he drew a Death March Meteor Shower card. "He has effectively won one nation and forced another to submit, the terms are humiliating, I am so proud to be his son!"

"With good reason," Demiurge added as he gave a grim smile as he drew a 'Greek fire 'discovered' card', "his victories give him everything and seldom cost him anything. We'll have the largest and strongest empire in this world's history, much of the continent, I thought I figured out his plans for Argland, but with their situation being what it is with the trials, well now I must reevaluate everything."

The turns passed by quickly until their income started to grow, the farms recovered first and faster, however only Demiurge was within easy reach, so Demiurge forged a temporary alliance with Pandora's actor to send support to fend off Albedo's nascent army. With this Pandora's Actor complied, and they held her off despite her superior numbers until their income went up enough to field armies that could drive her back, no sooner than they began to encroach on her territory in earnest until she played the Earthquake card against their armies and swallowed up several divisions. As they withdrew, she offered several turns of peace to Pandora's Actor if he supported an attack on Demiurge.

This Pandora's Actor agreed to, only to find that Demiurge used a fast moving scout and rode to his fishing industry and used his greek fire card to burn the lakes and port areas, destroying his fishing industry again and making him dependent on Albedo for supplies, which she provided as long as he kept his soldiers at the front doing the dying.

He responded by brokering a deal with Demiurge to aim badly and he turned on Albedo the turn before his recovery, and together they destroyed her advancing armies again.

Pandora's Actor for good measure however, used his 'Death March Meteor Shower' and destroyed Demiurge's cities... again.

Leaving armies with no food supplies or income, and Albedo with no army, they advanced and burned her cities and her fields before their starving soldiers could be effectively ruined by her small local defenses.

It was an ugly world they were fighting over. Sebas watched with interest, their cities had all been burned twice, their lakes were fire, their oceans were polluted ruins, their farms were ashes... twice over, their populations had no food and so their armies were all starved to death when not slaughtered, it was a stark look at their perspective on warfare.

"Did you want to win so much as that?" Sebas asked curiously, "You've ruined everything you were fighting over." He said as they were stuck with another series of do nothing turns as they passed the dice and drew cards.

"True, but whoever wins, will be king of the ashes." Demiurge said with a smile.

"Or Queen." Albedo said with a sultry smile.

"Never." Pandora's Actor said firmly as he raised a finger dramatically above his head.

As the butler was leaving the bar, Sebas felt a profound sense of relief that all three of them were under the rule of the wise Lord Ainz.

AN: This was a fun little one shot written as a discord exclusive. Most of those make it over here eventually, and I so thoroughly appreciated the reviews on recent work that I figured it was time to share this one too. The game they're playing is based on one I made up years ago to play with my children. Anyway, related note, a few of you have proposed stories you'd like to see, and let me tell you, the best thing you can do... is write those. When you're not seeing the story you want to read, sometimes you have to write it yourself, that is how the God Rising Author Universe got started. You might have seen the author page where I make my 'dare to be awesome' statement to my readers. Well let me reiterate it here for those of you who have not seen it:

You 'can' produce the story you want, maybe it won't be perfect, but it will be yours, and no story is perfect anyway. Embrace that inner creator and put finger to keyboard for that purpose. And you know what, if you want to write a variant or offshoot from an existing work... do that. :) Want to write your own fanfic of another author's fanfic... do it. There are a handful of God Rising fanfics written by others that turned out damned well. I couldn't have done them better. Want an alternate ending to something I've written, or that someone else wrote? Write it. Creation is happiness, complaints are misery, and any idea worth stating is worth pursuing for yourself. :) That isn't to say I never take suggestions, ask my beta team, I frequently do. But if you have a passion for fiction, fantasy, creation of any kind, you will never regret pursuing it. Dare to create, dare to be happy. And as for the trolls who try to tear it down with stupid stuff like 'kill yourself' fuck em, you know why they say that? Because they hate their own lives, and your accomplishment, completing a project, shines a light on their own self hatred. Pity them, look down on them, or ignore them, but never become one of them, or you'll miss everything that kicks ass in life and die miserable and alone.

Create! Create! Create! Forget 'pleasing' a supreme being, doing so MAKES you a supreme being. :) Alright, that is all... oh except this, if you're a first time or returning author and this gave you a boot to ass to get started (or get started again) do let me know so I can read the result. :)