Reedited March 1st

He enjoyed unhealthily long Grimmcraft binges.

Watching those blocks every night. Putting them down, making them glow, killing thingies shaped vaguely like humanoids, and getting loot.

It's repetitive and dulls the mind to outside worries. That's why he likes it so much, especially as a method to cope with his lack of strength and stuff.

Currently, it's a Saturday and he's spending a morning alone, which he's accustomed too, sitting in front of the holoscreen that Pyrrha bought for him.

Apparently her winnings in that Mistral tournament shebang raked in the lien by the hundreds of thousands! Which is cool as frick, because for some reason Pyrrha made a deal with him about it.

Its crazy: she'd let him play Grimmcraft on it all he wants! He just had to join her for training sessions.

Whatever reason a beauty like her wanted to be with Jaune Arc, reluctantly resident Gamer, wasn't clear. Worrying the lad daily, as she's yet to enact her holy right of taking his Rexbox these past two weeks.

He knew Pyrrha would take it too-the console, that is-even if the thing was Verdy's little memento to him from home.

Jaune expected not to vidja game at an academy for monster killing, he prepped pure baloney for a quality Gamer pad, so he's working with what's available until building a stable income.

Well, there's still Pyrrha for that. But why'd she help him again? This situation itself is probably her getting acclimated with her Team Leader, maybe similar to Snow Angel in a way: so tough and official that she puts her academic interactions in a dominance hierarchy.

Not that he'd assume her intentions being that way! She's been a super sweet friend these past weeks and Jaune's guilty for acting introverted all the time.

All he does, besides be a team leader-poorly and insecurely-is sit in the team dorm room with the blinds closed. Killing that twelfth Grimm Skeleton Archer and exploring another Sand Temple.

He's already found forty two diamonds with this seed! Soon enough, he'll be completing the game on hard mode again, without any cheats or stuff curbing his enthusiasm. That's the one thing he's proud of, besides making super dope friends this little expenditure into Beacon.

Speaking of them, he's glad they don't know his habits quite yet, video games are an easy insult point.

Also moral and political apparently, if you'd listen in to that Blake chick the other day.

She heard something about the new Grimm Hunter DLC from Ruby-whose also a Gamer too, but Jaune didn't buy the fake news.

Women don't exist in video games and they're all probably illusions in the real world. Jaune Arc has consumed so much irony when playing Grimmcraft that he's sure the only worthwhile fleshy things are ones and zeros.

Does he hate women? No! He's just doesn't like himself and don't feel he deserves love, or think it's even a real thing for that matter.

So Ruby Rose, quirky goth loli friend-who's probably a lesbian with Snow Angel, sadly-also a Gamer Girl?

Nah, fake news. Jaune don't play that crap, not in this day and age.

He's just excited to see genetically engineered Cat Faunus girls become a reality, though that's sorta a racy topic, literally.

See, Jaune Arc doesn't like politics either, which brings him back to Blake, whose apparently full of them. All Gamers are involuntarily celibates? Rude! He isn't wanting to not be a virgin, he's just-

The door opened, spooking him greatly. Grimmcraft was paused after that, options menu showing his block character sinking into the water.

"Hello?" He saw her stare in-hopefully genuine-concern. "Oh, hey Pyr. I'm just vibin, need something?"

Closing the dorm door-that's a funny sound-closed, she slipped into the lightless chambers, shoulders tucked in and quickly shimmying to him.

Pyrrha never enjoyed the lights being off-and him sitting in the dark alone for several hours a day, and used to badger him about that for awhile.

When Ren, bro that he is, curbed the momma mode, she stopped the moral lectures. Though that stopped none of the distaste she had at his crappy lifestyle, always coming up with one thing to critique.

He should specify that: ten minutes of emotional distress from a pretty girl, whilst he tried to grind out some magma rods, is not cash money.

If she's simply repeating 'video game bad, Jaune' in different formats? Then yeah, he could handle that.

"Oh, Jaune..." it's happening again, oh boy! "Don't you want more then-er, what's your guy doing?" Plopping onto his bed, she sat next to him by the bedside, legs crossed together shyly. "I'm not much for virtual entertainment Jaune, so ah-" she stuttered a bit, "please don't be mad at that! I'm just sad you spend so much time on that and not...ah..."

Spacing out a bit, Jaune decided not to push on any explanations, as he's a smart boy and doesn't interrogate girls for info.

So Instead, he picked up the Rexbox Controller, explaining while floating up.

"Basically, I'm traveling the map." His character floated up, hopping up on the wooden boat and sailing off. Pyrrha watched on, humming in interest. "My armor's getting good, there's also tons of room to cover, Grimmdermen to grind out and stuff."

Pyrrha sat silently, nearly shoulder to shoulder to the boy: who focused on the screen, licking his lips. "My map expanded recently, as I slacked on that for the past couple days and need to grind up some more. Ender pearls are super valuable."

Side-note, Jaune wasn't enjoying her quiet, the feeling of another human person watching him click and clack his controller brought bad vibes.

"What's a 'Grimmdermen,' Jaune?" Her voice sounded soft, as if she's thinking about the game more then him. Makes sense, as a functional person worries about talking to others, not the stacks of shiny digital particles collected.

Jaune hummed, having the character-sword first-climb upon some dirt blocks and rush into the forest. "Well, do you know of, uh, 'Slanderman?'"

"I-I, well-"

"No? That's okay!" She frowned, fiddling with her fingers. The Invincible Girl had a weakness, Jaune guessed? If you can count ignorance of internet culture as weakness.

Which, as Jaune grows up more and more, realizes is the exact opposite case scenario.

Before getting sidetracked, he smiled at her. "There's no shame in not knowing sometimes, Pyr! How'll you grow else wise?"

Her super moist looking eyes put butterflies in his stomach, forcing him to pause the game, just as he found a mineshaft. Her hands stopped fluttering about, now sorta...scooting close to his side...? "You mean that, Jaune?"

"Yeah!" The confidence was real, mostly. He's really not liking that hand on his thigh, almost producing tender contact. Not sure if he's ready for it, Jaune Arc planned to scoot his booty away, women still aren't real. "I'm super ignorant! Yet I'm not really sad for things I've not discovered, ya know?"

"Yet you're so good at that!" Pyrrha, full of angst, glanced at the screen. "Ren told me you've acquired nearly eighty five percent of all achievements on that game-"

"Actually, it used to be one hundred before the updates. Bees and stuff-"

"That's my point!" She shook her head, glossy emeralds watching the paused screen once more. "If you'd simply focus on schoolwork with that vigor? Jaune? Everything would come naturally to you, like it did me!"

Unable to respond to that, Jaune patted the silky sheets below them quietly, staring away from those caring eyes pleading for cooperation.

After a few awkward moments, Pyrrha poked him, speaking up.

"Hey, Jaune?"

"Mhm?" He's still not looking, fake real-women are scary.

"Won't you train with me? I-I know I've said that if the holoscreen gets too much I'll force you to stop, but..." she giggled nervously, "you shouldn't be treated like a kid, Jaune. You're a young man now! Tall, large, and ah..." more pausing, the pitch in breath gave him anxiety. "Very easy on the eyes-"

Jaune didn't registered that weird flirt, as women still aren't real, thank you very much.

Friendship is though! "Hey, Pyr?"

Shaking her head from whatever that was, incidentally whacking him lightly with her ponytail, Pyrrha looked at her part.

"Yes, Jaun-ah! I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"

He snorted. "Nah, you good. I'm a strong guy."

Kidding, of course, as the biggest thing Jaune's tackled on his own was the neighbor's dog when it chased Verdy. Funny story now, but seven year old little boy running with sister in tow, from a fat corgi?

Made him cry for weeks. Saphron's pillow side teasing salted that horror wound deep.

She mimicked his smile, her eyes held lots of happy things in them, Jaune could tell. "You are, Jaune...always remember that, okay? Cardin is wrong for what he does to you-"

"Pyrrha-"

The bit was shushed, "I'm your partner, isn't a Team Leader obligated to take advice and the like from his partner?"

"I guess, ish? Cardin's nothing new Pyr, life beats me up all the time." Double side-note: the urge to whisper 'But Gamers don't die, they respawn' popped up in Jaune's head. Ignoring it, he noticed her tense up at his melodramatics.

"Hey, you doing alright?-"

Oof. Jaune sat in shock while she embraced him, feeling her dainty hands squish his face close, eyes concerned. "It matters not whether my partner think's it's fine, as harrassment of any kind shouldn't be tolerated."

Right after delivering that little lecture, she squeaked and slinked back, face as red as her hair. "A-anyways! Jaune?-"

"Training, yeah?" She glanced back, quiet for a second before perking up. "You wish to join me? Oh Jaune, that's wonderful! I'll get prepared right away!"

Bouncing to her feet, Pyrrha rushed to the door, the beaming smile sent his way super glowy. "Promise to meet me on the roof, Jaune? I'll be waiting."

Chuckling, he saved the game and shut the Rexbox off.

"Yeah, sure! I'll be there in a minute!"

She giggled, closing the door behind her and probably jogging down the hallway. Based on the Snow Angel's indignant squawk and Pyrrha's 'I'm sorry!' sounding off.

Sighing to himself, Jaune Arc groaned and massaged his achy face. "Right. Let's uh..."

He's talking to himself again. "Any clothes? Just my armor. Weapon?"

Jaune-standing up with a grumble-nabbed his sheathed blade sitting up by the windowsill. He then put the whole Jaune Arc assemble on, hoodie and jeans included, yet he wondered about things.

Momma didn't raise a dummy, no sir, neither did his sisters, his dad-well, that's another story long, long story...

But! Jaune's still not incapable, that includes romance, or at least the proclivity to suspect attraction in the romantic sphere.

Pyrrha liked him, Jaune thinks. The fascination with his looks and all the, uh, touchy touch inbetween said as much.

That's the first realization of his, the second? See...

Nothing. Jaune felt nothing in that moment, finding no happiness in her interests, and not for healthy reasons, he thinks.

The only thing on his mind-emotionally speaking-was the pain training with her is going to be. Depsite his 'heroic' desires, Jaune's a lazy boy, hating effort and constantly hoping to reach his Grimmcraft once more.

Ever since he got it back, that is.

"Frick, man." Fully decked out, Jaune patted himself down, including his face. "I'm so numbbbb-uhghhh."

Smushing his face, Jaune tried to get himself feeling anything but annoyed at an interrupted Grimmcraft session.

The ring of his scroll didn't do that, but it sure catch his attention.

Yawning, he pulled the device to him, squinting at the text.

Hey NERD. It's your boy Cardin! I heard you got here on fake transcripts, come by my dorm room right now and tell me ALL bout it. Else you're gonna regret it, Jauney Boy!

Oh, okay. That made the feel bads insignificant, now replacing them with slightly worse feel bads. The ones that actually make you do something worthwhile.

Jaune sighed, preparing himself for an emotional rollercoaster, walking out the door. Before he closed it, Jaune glanced back at the darkened room, shaking his head before shutting the door tight.

He'll change someday. He's gotta.

/-/

What to send Pyrrha...?

The scroll's chat remained whitewashed, as his hands hovered over the keyboard, since Jaune wanted to do one act of honesty. Groveling at the local Chad's feet for mercy was a quick affair, and Pyrrha deserves better then him saving his own hide.

Yet that also means there's some sort of truth hes gotta speak, cuz ya know, the truth shall set you free. Ironically in multiple ways for him, mentally and academically.

Hey, hes schmoozed the road so far, what's to continue it until the confidence becomes real?

So, Jaune typed his partner a message:

Hey Pyr, I'm feeling super brave right now and am going to confront the CEO of bad vibes, I'll be with you in a minute!

Satisfied with the partially truthful message, Jaune put his scroll away, knocking on the identically brown door.

It took some questioning to find Cardin's dorm, and even sent him memes he's stolen on Biscord as compensation. Know what? it Worked!

After knocking, Jaune waited patently, whistling to himself and to others who'd walk by, which was like only two. People either are heavily asleep or out and about.

Jaune respects that a lot, though doesn't partake in it whatsoever.

Even when Yang runs around the school with a super tight tank top, making all the boys stare.

He did too, but usually closed the blinds a minute later and continued farming them emeralds, deciding to choke the chicken at a less regulated date.

Scrolls are super great for finding that good material, bro.

Five minutes past and Jaune's embarrassment reached a peak, his whistling stopped. "Uh, hello? Cardin?"

For added affect, he knocked once more, it's sound holding far more courage then the actual mind behind the madness.

The Arc's an introvert, and also really weak, so he's feeling really attacked right now-

The door creaked open a bit, just enough for a brown mop of hair to suspiciously peak out from the frame, frowning and keeping the room out of sight. "Hello, I'm Jaune-"

Dove, if he's got it right, recognized him then.

Putting a hand up to halt further discussion, Dove called for Cardin. In response, some heavy presence caused a bed to creak in the back.

Jaune figured Cardin's gonna be taking the bully reins from here, which is...something? He's still feeling the big hurt about not hanging out with his best bud right now, really badly-

Oh, oh no. It's stinky, like really stinky!

He's seen nothing yet but the stank reminds him of the aftermath to Saphron's Tortillas weekends, since she loves making 'culturally diverse' foodstuffs.

The bathroom wasn't the same each time, especially since she often needed moral support by the door.

Jaune will never forget being ten years old and holding Saphron's hand from the other side of the bathroom, seeing-mostly hearing-his older sister take the biggest dookie of her life. It's of his more profound experiences.

Weirdly though, she never made fun of him for being spooked by fat corgis anymore after that, and often asked for comfort snuggles.

That's a pretty epic win in his mind-

Oh, right. He's getting off track, Cardin's here too!

Collecting himself, Jaune prepared to bargain for his future. "Hello, Cardin!"

The guy's grin was amused.

"How it be, how it do?"

Cardin opened the door fully before Jaune could answer with a proper 'pretty good man.' for his troubles.

He worried not about the fast etiquette though. Instead sucking his face in and squinting past the physical clouds of stank.

Trash. Trash everywhere.

Grimm Beast energy drinks, paper, suspiciously bottled liquids, food. It smelt like pee was let to fester and mould the entire two or so months they've been there.

Horribly yucky. Fortunately, Cardin didn't mind Jaune's look, instead havin' a giggle and quietly beckoning him in.

"This way, Jauney Boy! Got something hella sick to show ya."

"Oh, baller dude."

He blinked away the morbid disgust, trailing along behind the bruting bully quietly. Whispering a hello to that Dove guy who just saw him earlier, not getting one in response sadly. As the guy's focus remained on angrily searching for something near the-probably literal-crap pile by the doorway.

Sad and gross, bro.

They wandered into the-Jaune's using this lightly-living room clearing.

Only a little wooden table in the room's center espcaed the yucky uncleanliness, while Cardin's teammates sat sprawled about the room, including that mohawk guy named Russell, who stared at him cheekily. "Hello? I'm Jaune-"

"What's ahh' dude?" Russel grinned, putting a kinda dirty lookin' hand up, "like the digs? It's our little home away from home! What's ours is yours!" Jaune doubted that and wanted no part of it, yet he shook the unpleasant guy's hand as firm as possible, hoping his hand wasn't dirty.

"Yeah, it's something, alright."

Someone-Sky, he thinks; Jaune memorized the names of his oppressors cult followers-sighed in annoyance while leaning on the backwall, right next to a blind covered windowsill. The...blunette looked annoyed.

"Russel, don't pick on him anymore then necessary, you gremlin boy. Cardin's little rendezvous is supposedly to build some bridges."

Cardin hummed along, too busy grunting about in the closest to procure a proper response, all Jaune saw of him was a hunched back chucking random garbage against a bed frame.

Confusion of the highest order. "Wait, I'm not here to get brutally beaten and abused? Why tho?"

Dove-coming from the doorway, flopping on his bed-snorted at that, watching the blonde with amusement.

"Do y'all have a catch or something? Money? Combat lessons-not from me! But...uh..."

Cardin groaned his content, rising from his hunched over postion with a smile.

"Nope. What I've realized, Jaune, is that you're interesting."

The brute looked over, carrying items Jaune steadily gapped at after each passing second.

"Just a weirdo hardly worth the clothes on your back, too." That smile was rough, and saucy. "However, Jauney Boy: I'm feeling merciful, so you'll be spared my wrath if you try a 'lil bit of my good stuff."

In Cardin's right grip, several weed baggies, in the other?

A stupidly aesthetic alien bong in prime condition.

Jaune gawked at the thing in muted shock, while Cardin laid it on the center table.

"Bruh...what even?!" Jaune went ignored, his apparently complete dude-bro of an oppressor fetching an unopened water bottle from the plastic crate behind them. "Seriously, if Miss Goodwitch catches you-"

Cardin slammed the water bottle-now emptied into the pipe-onto their only decent furniture. "Which is why, Mr. Fake Transcripts, you'll tell no one jack shit. Capiche?"

"How'd you even know? Or bothered to research!? Do you just hate me so much that-"

"I actually just went on a hunch, Jauney Boy," Cardin leaned forwards, already done crunching up the dankest greens he's ever seen.

"That frown? Proves me right, no real Beacon student fights like a civilian. Now come 'ere, take a hit! If you're the baby boy I'm suspecting you are I'll have my boy give you the basics."

Before Jaune could express the hurt climbing above his numbness, Sky stepped in.

"He's not a pothead, Cardin. Most of those people aren't mixing strains either. Scoot."

Cardin did, grinning at his teammate with raised hands empty. Sitting up from the table and sinking into a clothing covered bed sheet.

"Alright, Jaune?" Sky's tone sounded nice, not cardinally oppressive. "Heres out it works..."

It required several minutes-weird looking demonstrations included-before Jaune finished up. "Thanks, man. I got it now."

Nodding, the arguably coolest guy in this little mini purgatory got up, walking to his perch by the windowsill once more.

Holding the bong closely, lighter nearby and bowl properly inserted, Jaune called for his bully's attention.

"Question?"

Cardin, though growling in annoyance, allowed the interruption. "I don't value you Jaune, so hurry up and entertain me."

Putting a mean-spirtied retort away, Jaune searched for answers. Very interested in the actual contents of his soon-to-be hit. "What's in this thing anyways?"

Cardin raised a brow, "this shit?" He dangled the baggies about, "just a little sample from my pop's old farm in the eastern settlements."

"Isn't that illegal there?"

"That's what makes it better, retard. Ever heard of smuggling?"

Rude. Jaune moved onwards though, pouring the finely grinded kush into the bowl. He had no idea how things will turn out for partaking in narcotics, or recreational drugs, but from what Momma said?

He'll regret it soon. Oh well, anything for peace and tranquility, at least for his friend's sake, yeah?

Breathing out extra nerves, Jaune grabbed the lighter and put the pipe over his mouth. Igniting it without delay. After a moderately large pool of smoke built up, his mouth sucked it in steadily.

An awkward moment of nothingness went by, everyone interested in the moments coming sometime soon, well, all of them except Jaune.

Holding it in for a little bit longer, he let loose a fat rip towards the ceiling. if this is the mental nullification he's gotta live through to protect Pyrrha and everyone's happiness, so be it.

"Well?" Russel quipped, leaning forward in excitement. "Hows the feel-"

Cardin shushed the lackey, letting Jaune's thoughts and gaze ponder upon the cloud building above him.

The clock cruised by, and the only thing that really felt different was the...chill that he felt. Like someone made him overdose on sleeping pills and this was before he slept.

"Hol-" Jaune coughed excess smoke, feeling the buzz reach veiny eyes."-y crap mate, the fricks this strain?"

Cardin laughed, reaching over to get his own hit. "Bruh, they're fiftes. Can't tell you much else besides it being called 'An Escape From Ram Ranch.'"

He stared.

"Yeah, I don't get it either. Pops said it's gotta be named that, and I don't question the old boomer on most shit, so yeah. Anyways..."

Cardin took his own hit, joining his cloud with Jaune's.

It was passed around, yet he didn't care for their consumption.

No, the Arc was too focused on-well, not focusing.

Everything felt real: as though this room's gravity beheld the entryway of the heavens, leading into eternal satisfaction. Light birthed from dark and hence forth, until subversive status quo's warp the previous perceptions.

What's Heaven even look like? He didn't frickin' know and probably will never find out.

At some point Jaune found himself laid across the floor, idly registering the chuckles and laughs at his expense all around. He toiled not, as he felt himself develop big brain powers.

There were dots and stuff, little circles pinpricked an open night sky as stillborn fireworks. Always stationary, never moving, captivating in every sense of the word.

"Sky." Jaune called, catching the guy's bluish steel hair in the corner of his vision. The plastered Arc was sure Mr. Lark mumbled an affirmative.

"You see this?" he pointed forward from the floor, not caring about the odd way a rational mind would view him, squinting intensely at the ceiling. "Right there, it looks like Heaven or something."

Surprisingly, Sky followed his mark. "No Jaune, I think you're just on a really crazy good trip. Good for you, man."

He 'oh'd', never straying away from the dotted darkness above. If only he could reach-

Commotion. Cardin screamed, Sky was reaching for the nearest sharp object, the other two bozos weren't spotted from the floor.

Distracted from his enraptured trip and star-gazing, Jaune groaned, sitting up slightly. "The fricks going o-" he froze.

Standing on the bong table, was a little skeleton man in a big hoodie and shorts. Completely white themed attire trimmed in gold, smiling eerily wide and wearing a trucker hat with the Arc emblem encrusted on it.

Hysteric blues met white pin-pricks in a sea of darkness. Something spoke.

What's popping, Gamer?

This monster-oh god, he's panicking-hopped down and shoved a boney fist into Sky's stomach, destroying the guy's Aura in a single domineering blow.

Cardin hid in the closet whilst Russel and Dove sounded like they're fumbling with the door. Jaune stood on shaky legs now, feeling the nightmares becoming reality in the worst ways. A voice spoke up again.

You ain't gonna greet me, mate?

That violent boney hand put itself out, it's skelatal originator smiling evermore. Jaune shook his head, stepping back, loudly shuddering the whole way. This pleased skeleton man not.

Bruh Moment: Not talking to one's own sembalance? I'm hella peeved at myself, at you.

"S-sembal-ance...? No! I'm not conscious right now! Go away! Leave me be-"

Quit the whining, little-boy. Wanna know my name?

"No..!" Jaune leaned against the wall, shifting closer to the slammed open doorway. Terror and horror and sadness and incredulity and-

They call me Jebodiah Brine, Ruler of The Waifu Gauntlet. It's all they've ever called me.

He didn't care. He didn't care. He didn't-Jaune is running now, assuredly those mind meltingly smug pinpricks watched on in malavolent glee. Jaune couldn't do this anymore-oh sweet Monty on a cross he had to go-

A presence ascended to his position, and one glance back showed a sight that'll hopefully wipe itself from Jaune's tortured mind space in the next couple years.

Jebodiah Brine floated, arms spread wide open and legs stood stick-like still beside each other. No sounds were emitted, neither struggle from the monster.

The only thing proving this wasn't an illusion?

Sky's whimpering form crawling to the exit, and the demolished doorframe-door included-Jebodiah simply existed past in order to reach him. His weirdly big boned skelly body launching the door into another team's wall at knee jerking speeds.

Jaune turned forward, letting loose an unholy sonnet of feminine anguish from his lips without pause. Running straight for those stairs he's always despised, prioritizing inconvenience over murder death kill.

His distance changed nothing, The Brine's presence never wavering in the Arc's flighted mind.

Bring that ass here, Jaunethan Arcbuckle! You will (not) escape the ranch!

He tired to drown out the giddy threat with screams, yet it never worked.

The terror remained, even past the numbing pain Jaune felt when his body haphazardly slammed into a wall during his descent down. Possibly bruising a shoulder, yet not an ego.

Jaune must flee. Jaune must flee. Jaune must flee-

Here's society, people around. Sobbing in joy and abstract terror at that definitely t-posing demon floating down the stairs, he rushed onto the stone slabs in broad daylight, looking back confidently, presuming this creature wouldn't-

Jebodiah did, even bowling over some poor guy, mechanically taking space through the student and sending him into the nearest tree. The kid's team, amazed and terrified, simply got the frick outta dodge. An efficient trend affecting all whose proximity met the skeleton's own. The Arc's horror bottomed out, his Aura-he's assuming thats what the white power is-fluttered to life in the thick of things.

Never will Jaune Arc consume mind altering psydelics again, he Arc promised himself that.

That said, Jaune sprinted across the courtyard. Panting in exhaustion, reaching towards the heavenly schooling building standing high amongst the clouds. Whispering inaudible hopes and dreams to ignore the sweat building up in his vision.

/-/

Eternity went and came, the world perceivable blurring at the unfair disadvantage of abruptly coming off a heckin good high. Jaune regretted so much, especially that wet mark noticeably staining his jeans.

He's got negative ego, but never had involuntary urination occur for at least two years! Which is a record!

Suddenly, Jaune Arc tripped. Rolling onto stone slabs in numbed shock. No students were around, either already getting to their destinations or forsaking the drugged up boy running from his literal demons.

When the Arc fell, he didn't get up, losing all willpower to not get nay nay'd by spooky skelly man.

Why'd Jaune make jokes to himself, as Jebodiah Brine shook in the sky angrily? He's unsure, and numb in terror.

Did he pee again?-

Oooga booga oooga booga oooga booga oooga booga.

He can barely see anymore, blurry dots and lines and circles vaguely shaped as Remant, a white-gold thing above the ground the only noticeable thing as of yet.

It seemed unnecessary, however, as what Jaune thought was Jebodiah Brine hovered over, now touching the ground?-

Bones rattled him, their fervor desperate and equal parts annoyed. Though, Jaune cannot describe nonverbal annoyance per say, it is just the jittery nature of his current bully-

Aight. you're not cooperating, so prepare for body mesh.

He hated it, this, that, them, him-White trimmed gold splurged into him, the once coherent blob overtaking all sights the modern word harbored.

No sunshine, no clouds, no weed, and certainly no friendship. Jaune screamed, yet nobody came.

/-/

Warmth. Familiar comforts bundling him up nice and tight.

Jaune, delirious as is, could only gurgle in happiness. Tucked in his bed with care, blue eyes peaked from the covers, starting to come into the world once more.

Dusky skies: reddish sun setting in the window. Not in the window, but-yeah, he's out of it. Nervous too.

I'm in of it, then.

Jaune heard nothing. He's still high-

Ren and Nora dragged you back here, Pyrrha's been waiting by the bedside this entire time. See?

She was, slumped over and snoozing away. A curtsey glance at his scroll showed dozens of messages, as mentioning Cardin's bull crap, others about the dangerous nature of marijuana.

He's gotta admit, though. That trip? Helluva ride!

Nice mate. So, ready to listen? I'm literally gonna have time all day since, you know, I'm your sembalance. The cock to your balls, tom to ato, functional bowels to-

He imagined himself shoving the yucky skele man away, praying to find time for more Grimmcraft in the future. First, Jaune reached out to his partner, absently patting away the frown she wore during sleep. "Hey, Pyr?"

"brlrblbrb..."

Aw! He poked her a bit, genuinely smiling at the bond that they've somehow made over these months. "Sorry 'bout that, I jumped the gun, you can basically call me an automatic pole vaulter."

Hey, that's pretty good-

Shut up.

"I'll never do drugs again, Okay? I saw plenty of things nobody should ever see or understand. Also, did you...uh..." hella embarrassing, but it's gotta be mentioned. "Did you see my pants? The, well, unfortunate accident on them?" She responded not, smiling whilst he pet her.

Glossing over the fact you'd bring up urinated pantsu to your girlfriend-

Isn't his girlfriend-

Yet. Besides the point: I'm going to let you in on your body's secret, okay?

...Alright...?

Good. So, I'm your sembalance! A manifestation of your soul not related to Aura. Not directly, at least.

He got that so far, Jaune's intelligence is average, he understood the important details. Not information of the context to properly ask about self sabotaging urination, yet equally as useful for social situations.

People talk to you less when there's less dumb stuff to program into your mental meat device.

I can make that unneeded, Jaune. Take a close gander at your totally not-girlfriend amazonian partner for me.

Despite his better nature-which fairly speaking, kinda numbed itself-he looked into Pyrrha's sleeping face. Smudging her away from drooling too much on his sheets.

Jaune liked her-as a friend-but cannot watch his stuff deteriorate if he can help it.

Hey, back to me: I'm an individual of certain capacities, planning on using said capacities for the bodily improvement of this little gay-boy Arc's womanly interactions. Even willing to introduce it in a semi Gamer format, if you squint hard enough! Ya interested?

Jaune had to move, pacing got him thinking. Removing the covers from himself, he did just that, swinging bare legs on the bed's non-pyrrha baring side. The loosely worn boxers of his made him pause.

Why's he-

Pyrrha changed it for you.

What...?-

Yeah, it's hella endearing actually: the way her face colored itself exactly like her hair. Changing the your diapey with the same care a small baby boy such as ye deserves. I'm suprised she didn't develop-what's it called? Nightingale syndrome? Yeah! Becuase the way she just-

Jaune silenced him, angrily pacing around the room with the same fury he'd be shaking the crazy dumb skeleton man mentally harassing him-

No, scratch that, spiritual harassing him.

Jaune threw the blinds completely open, staring out at the setting sun aggressively. He wanted none of this convoluted situation.

Jaune Arc, reluctantly or not, could consider himself a Gamer: someone willing to grind for hours on end, not carrying about social obligations.

including the...sexy aspects of it too. It's been dormant until recently, but the Rexbox console gave Jaune emotional security much needed in the face of Beacon's academic stuffs.

Not even Snow Angel's that desirable anymore, as he's relaxed on the narrative of love and princesses. It pleased Team RWBY greatly, and got him less harassment from everyone overall.

Jaune now understands stupid boy-toys such as himself aren't successful with getting women. He's internazling oppression and numbed all flirty-ness.

Thus, Jaune prayed to get rid of this maddening spirit, never to be given hope ever again. He hates false promises, especially anything insisting on him getting women!

Has he not mentioned the nonexistence of the female sex?

My banter isn't getting past your teenage angst, so I'm gonna show you something physcial. Take a look at your left hand, Jaune?

Pausing, trying to deny the urge to meet the simple goal, Jaune stood dumbly infront of the window. He lasted far too short though, grumpily making contact with it.

He yelped, slamming into the window, shaking it and nearly inducing a heart attack at the chance of throwing himself out the window as a dumbass would.

The golden gauntlet covering his hand didn't have any answers, and hopefully it stayed that way for awhile.

Bulky, plated. and totally leathal looking. Jaune flexed safely protected fingers in the space above him, mesmerized by the beautifully finished armament.

Pyrrha's mumbles interrupted the dopey Arc off his fascination ritual, though.

"Jaune?" She bleakly rested a pouty chin on his bed, hands grabbing for the boy supposed to be getting some sleep there. Slowly those worried orbs focused on her partner-who's currently giving her a wide grin from the window. "Jaune-oh! Hello again! I a-ah-"

"Thank you, Pyr." Honestly felt right to say that then. He knew she went far beyond the friendly call of duty. For that, he gave The Invincible Girl trusting eyes.

"I'm a dummy stuck knee deep in trash, yet you've chosen to rescue me from my own drug induced hallucinations. Even...uh, changing my pants so my sheets didn't get messed up, ya know?!"

Pyrrha turned redder each second. "W-ait! Don't worry, I'm not ma-"

"It doesn't matter, Jaune!" She burst, shivering in shame and embarrassment. "I'm a lewd and dastardly woman, oh Monty above-look at me, Jaune! I'm practically a molester now-"

"You didn't touch...?-"

"No! No-no-no! In no capacity! Arc's promise!" Pyrrha stood up, fidgeting at his bedside, finding the ceiling extremely breathtaking just now. Jaune's hooked on the fact she's enacting the promise and not him. "Nothing happened! Nope! You'll trust me, please?! If anyone spreads rumors about this I'll never hear the end of it! Or see everyone anymore, you included!"

She poked it, btw. We need some monster condoms for that goddamn magnum-

Okay, Jaune's ignoring the skeleton man haunting him and his sex life, Precursor or not.

Really sick of morbidly changing environments, he took his partner's hands.

Emerald eyes widened in shock, "ah?-"

"Pyrrha, I don't care: what your partner needs to know, though, is if you're gonna lovingly beat me up, or are willing to put up with my crap in the future?"

Jaune couldn't find himself missing out on any key details. Putting his long hours on the virtual grind completely into her watery orbs.

For an amazing fighter, she shivers real bad when he held her hands.

On his end, though...he's never held hands with pretty women not blood related before, so there's that-oh.

Eyy, that's more like it! Looket her swoon! Ten outta ten!

Smiling, Pyrrha shook her head firmly. "Jaune, my concerns aren't righteous punishment, as I'm not your mother." She giggled at his dumbness, comfortably limp hands in his own.

"You'll already quit talking to them anyways. I'm sure Miss Goodwitch and Headmaster Ozpin understand the complications of enforced drugging!" It took a one eighty though, as she frowned.

"Where'd you get the gauntlet?"

Er...

"I found it balanced out my current style nicely, gives me that roguish adventurer aesthetic, ya?" He stepped back, grinning dumbly with his arms out. Luckily, Pyrrha found the talk nice and distracting.

Her happy giggles put Gamer doubts into his head: why killing the Grimm Ender Dragon on hardmode again should be a priority over honest discussion.

It shouldn't, which you'd understand after giving enough fucks to The Brine. I'm the key holder of all your aspirations and yet you piss in my presence.

Fake news aside, Jaune wanted normalcy again.

Closing the blinds, he picked up the Rexbox controller and gestured-charismatically as he could-to his partner.

"Now, I'm not sure if you're still up to battle royal, so if not? I'll be at the grind again until tomorrow, then you'd wanna train some?"

Her frown really didn't comfort him-

"I'm open to train with you anytime, Jaune, right now even! I'm fully equipped for every combat position I deem valuable to your growth."

Very intimidated, Jaune could only laugh along with her excitement, feeling kinda sad he's not able to schmooze responsibility once more.

Jedobiah's stupid chuckle bounced around an overtly frayed mind. Jaune had to hide a scowl while throwing the controller on the bed.

See;his brain was firstly numbed, drugged, full of primal terror, injected with equally natural friendship magic, and now consistently subjugated to a demonic skeleton man's insulting happiness.

-hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe-

Super dumb and upsetting. Luckily Jaune lives a lie and continued the conversation anyways.

"Yeah, sure Pyr! I'm horribly unprepared for the huntsmen standard, but I'll follow you anywhere! Ready?" That last remark reddened cheeks, likely in embarrassment for the obvious show of trust.

You're a fucking enigma, Jaune: you'd call yourself a Gamer yet you're know about of feminine cues of happiness.

Sometimes. The deep stuff flies around his head and lands in a Deathstalker's eye, but reacting to honesty? Saphron's disfunctional-ness made him pretty 'emotionally intelligent', as she suffered for being a dum-dum.

Anyways, Pyrrha spoke!

"Sure, Jaune." If Jaune's absence of touchy-touch wasn't internalized, he'd talk about her amazing looks while wearing her Invincible Girl getup. "Let's go! I'm so elicited for you! We'll be Beacon's powerhouses!"

Holding the door open for him-after he slipped on another pair of jeans, Crocea Mors in tow-they walked on. Pyrrha's humming contrasting his casual walk, hands in his hoodie. Needless to say, Jebodiah Brine cackled in satisfaction.

The Waifu Gauntlet-

Just for for the record, Jaune wondered if that's actually the name of it, frowning thoughtfully.

Yep, now here's the deal bucko: See your gauntlet? Notice anything?

Yeah, he did. On the far left side-near the knuckles-a little blood red...orb? It sank into the gauntlet, swirling darker tones inside itself calmly.

That's the manifestion of Pyrrha's soul within your own. If you two bond closely, you'll have a fully replicated copy of her sembalance at your disposal twenty four seven. Though you can only use one girl's abilities at a time-

Wait, no-

Yes! I'm telling you-as you're audibly groaning next to your female buddy, proving your madness-that this sembalance is solely functional on the amount of women courted to completion.

Jaune wasn't even surprised, only annoyed at his own soul hating himself so terribly.

Suck it up, baby-boy! I'm going to whisper in your mind for likely the entirety of your huntsmen career! Which should really make you greatful for this hella sick opportunity. I'm literally making you a functional Everyman that people tolerate, big titties included.

Jaune Arc didn't require titties, or women. He just needed a good vibe check now and then-

Yeah, bullshit, that'd be true if you didn't follow your seduced spartan waifu. Get your shit together and accept hypergamy like a respectable memeber of bottom text society. You know, get just to get things rolling?

Know what? Fine, Jaune-after grinning away the concern on Pyrrha's face-took a deep breath. He's ready to know the methodology.

Of the Gauntlet?

Yes-

Ejaculation.

"Grrk!"

Jaune wheezed, holding his heart, mimicking a boomer's final moments. Pyrrha halted slightly, tapping his arm in concern, uneasily continuing her lead of their duo when he stuttered.

"Don't pretend peak physical performance is possible just to appease me, okay? I don't want to hurt you." Nodding, he returned to his really numb thoughts.

It's not dumb! Self-sustaining soul energy is a wonderful construct that goes incredibly well with good emotions shared between multiple people. Seminal fluid is a good indicator of either crippling loneliness or maximum charisma! Basically, it looks a little something like this:

Images of stick figures annoyingly forced themselves upon his mind, Jaune hated it so much-

This is you, that's a waifu.

His stick figure danced about with the proverbial female, hearts in both their eyes. Okay, he's got that part down-

Good. Now, when they finally get comfortable with each other...

Stupidly, the mental stick figures slammed into each other, the mimicry of moans Jebodiah crooned making the entire unseeable situation all the worse. Then, Jaune's stick figure glowed, gaunlet the arbiter of energy stuffs

You get their power! The full capacity of it! You in? Also, there's no free will to choose otherwise as I am you. So sit down and be humble.

He couldn't sit down, he's walking to train with Pyrrha-

No one likes a smartass! Except disagreeable women apparently, so unironically keep that shit up! Until she wants to dominate you, that is.

He wanted to question that weird bit at the end, but ended up sighing instead.

"Yeah. Whatever." Jaune rolled his eyes, growling under his breath when Pyrrha looked back at him, mere feet from their doorm's flight up to the roof.

The look was very concerned, "Jaune? Is there something wrong-"

Deciding to give this womanizing gig a shot, he walked up to her.

"No at all, Pyr. I'm with you, so there's no need to worry!" He took her hand for good measure, hopeful she's not gonna be found looking upon him in disgust.

To his joy, Pyrrha smiled warmly, truly walking up to the roof side by side with him. "Thanks Jaune, I'll make you into a proud huntsman for sure!"

Waifu collection process underway! Let's get it!

Something sorta like victory dances occurred within his mind, The Brine's terrible mimicry of Forkknife music weirdly morphing the musical travesty into genuinely good vibes for Jaune.

He smiled, the enthusiasm stopped the numb, and the skeleton man cheering on the little social gathering he's taking part of kept blue eye sharp.

Maybe women are real after all!

Okay, everyone! Before I list off disclaimers, heres a quick explanation as to what happened:

When he consumed the fifties, Jaune's semblance manifested into a personification of his extroverted and or domineeringly charismatic self, taking a purposefully nonsensical form and contrasting Jaune's less sociable side greatly. Essentially, Jebodiah Brine is the amalgamation of Jaune's egotism buried under more then a decade's worth of self-contempt, masked by the pleasant numb of computer screens. A Freudian shadow in a way.

That's the deepest this goes in terms of actually 'real' shit, the rest is Jaune Arc getting hella bitches, putting their soul gem thingies in his Thanos Gaunlet. I know this sounds morbid but I'm a terribly morbid person so I will have to appologze on not changing that.

Anyways, things to note:

I'm hoping when you read this, it's horribly weird and provocative. But, understandable in a way.

Expect bizarre usage of peak American Culture. Also memes.

I will, and I really mean it, attempt to convincingly write Jaune into a womanizing shitlord. He's gonna stop playing Grimmcraft soon enough. Long and strenuous process though.

This is partially a spiritual successor to my other fic, as the humor is essentially identical. It's just THE proper focus here.

I'm attempting to shorten these chapters to consistently around 8-9k words. For speed and quality reasons.

Thanks everyone, please don't be afraid to critique this! I have no fucking clue what I'm doing and it's very annoying.

*Hey, me from Sunday March 1st 2020 here, and holy fuck man, I sound like an absolute autist. Thank you to all the fuckers who read this garbage when I didn't even register the purple prose. Heres a thing to note, ya'll: never make a dumbass character say big words you'd not use in average conversation.

*Also, for both me, and anyone else who wants to write: don't do what I did, and ask for people to critique this shit. It does nothing but give you excuses to NOT to do so, straight up. It's taken me three months to realize that, and let me tell you, i'm not happy about it.