Dear "Daily Prophet":

We read in your illustrious publication that another "Dark Lord" has arisen in Wizarding England and you are now calling for the great Harry Potter to come and rescue you yet again.

This is the same Harry Potter who you ran out of town, along with his best-friend, Hermione Granger, because they wouldn't go along with you in persecuting underage witches and wizards who had been forced by their own families to fight for the Dark Lord or face death!

So, because you couldn't get your own way, you took Mr. Potter and Miss Granger's wands and snapped them before you chased them out of Wizarding England. Did you honestly think that Mr. Potter and Miss Granger would cease being magical because you snapped their wands? I guess you haven't heard of wandless, wordless magic, have you?!

Even more asinine, you decided that it was one Ronald Bilius Weasley who was the brains behind the Golden Trio who single-handedly fought against the Dark Lord, along with his family, and that Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were, at best, useless, fame-hungry adjuncts who were along for what they could get!

Well, YOU chose to BELIEVE the word of a slimy little Weasel and now let him take care of you. What? He ran away again? Well that would be his specialty so suck it up, buttercups! His family? Nowhere to be found? And NOW you are saying that perhaps the so-called great Harry Potter was of some use after all?

Well too damned bad as in his own words, Harry says, "Fuck the lot of you, you ungrateful bastards!" And on behalf of the undersigned, I have been authorized to give you this message: "Sod off!"

Signed,
Draco Malfoy and his wife Daphne Greengrass
Harry Potter and his wife Pansy Parkinson
Hermione Granger and her husbands Thorfinn Rowle
and Antonin Dolohov
Theo Nott and his wife Astoria Greengrass
Blaise Zabini, his wife Luna, and his co-husband, Marcus Flint
Neville Longbottom and his wife Hannah Abbott
Adrian Pucey plus his wife Susan Bones
Greg Goyle and his wife Millicent Bulstrode