Giddy with victory, Naruto threw his arms up in the air. He raced around the ring before standing still, looking up into the crowd, and yelled out.

"I did it Dattebayo! Best in the world again! Did I hear a TWO TIME? Uzumaki Naruto, best ninja, and best fighter in the world, that's me."

Before Naruto could finish his tirade, the ref pulled him aside.

"Son, this isn't some street fight over a stale loaf of bread. This shit is professional. We have rules that you broke when you fingered that poor man. Sure it's obvious who's the better fighter, but I have to disqualify you. I've already alerted the judges, Conner McGregor has won this fight."

Before Naruto could react he heard people approaching him. It was a bald man with a microphone and camera crew.

"Hey Naruto, Joe Rogan here. What possessed you to sexually assault a man on pay-per-view television?"

Naruto didn't know what to say. Sexual assault was not what just happened. He won a fight using a memento from his precious sensei Kakashi. What didn't these people understand?

"Excuse me Joe, whoever the hell you are. I did not assault anyone. I just used every advantage I had to win a fight, this is the first guy who lasted past the first round so I knew I had to bring out the big guns. This fight is different from my last few fights, it's in some fancy arena with people paying to watch, so I won in spectacular fashion. No one told me there were rules to this, I thought it was like a fight club but I made tons of money for my family."

"Look Naruto, I get we're from different cultures, and you're used to fighting in your small village back in Japan but this is the big leagues. You can't shove your fingers in a man's ass with people watching, that's just common sense!"

"Hey buddy don't try and turn this on me! The Sennin Goroshi is a real technique taught to me by my sensei, Hatake Kakashi, the copycat ninja! He used this technique on me the day he decided to teach my squad. It taught me to keep my eyes peeled, keep constant vigilance of my surroundings, how to cover less defensible areas on my body, and how to defend against faster opponents. This was a fight, I'm not just acting to get a paycheck here. I'm going to win."

"Wait you said the man who used this technique on you was your teacher, and he taught others? How long ago was this?"

"Well it was a long time ago, me and my squad were twelve at the time."

"TWELVE?! Naruto, did you have any other problems with this man?"

"No, I love this man like an older brother. But back in the day I was upset that he wouldn't teach me enough. He always gave private lessons to my best friend Sasuke. He lived in an empty district of town so they would train there where no one could see them. God I was so jealous that stupid Sasuke-Teme was getting one-on-one training with him."

"Wow, I, umm, I don't know what to say. Naruto; are you sure this Kakashi character was actually training Sasuke? Not, god how do I say this politely, doing other activities?"

"No they were training, but not enough for Sasuke. After a year and a half Sasuke abandoned our team and village to go train under a man named Orochimaru who offered to train him harder with more secret techniques. He was a traitor to our home and a criminal who got caught experimenting with children."

"Naruto I'm so sorry for you and your friend. Running away from one abuser only to be caught by another. Misfortune breeds misfortune as they say. Did you or Sasuke ever get therapy to help you over the trauma?"

"What's your problem Joe? I just told you we were being taught how to fight, there was no trauma from that. Have you been paying attention to what I've been saying?"

"Have you? From what you've told it sounds like these men were sexually taking advantage of you and your friend."

"What the fuck? Kakashi was a lonely depressed pervert, but he only read pervy books. I don't know if he ever got any action from girls. And I've made a few jokes about Orochimaru and what he does to little boys, but the man was a mad scientist and a murderer, he was asexual but still a bad dude all around. My whole life until I came to the US has been about fighting, I thought this was just going to be a bit of a nostalgia trip for me. You guys don't care about the art of battle, this is all just entertainment to you. There are no storylines coming from my fights here, I'm just beating up these weaklings you throw at me. Call me if you ever have better fighters than this clown on the floor over there, I'm retiring until then."

With that Naruto left the cage. He heard the crowd cheer behind him as his opponent was named the victor. He couldn't care less, he got back into fighting to make sure he still had the skills to be able to protect his demigod daughter. He could care less if he lost a fight on a technicality, there were no rules in a real fight, and as a shinobi Naruto knew that down to his bones.

Sitting in his dressing room after his post fight shower Naruto wondered when Sally would bring the kids backstage so they could get out of here. Hearing a knock on the door Naruto yelled for whoever it was to come in. Instead of his daughter and family friends, stadium security was waiting at the door.

"Mr. Uzumaki sir, I have a woman outside who says she knows you. Do you want me to let her in?"

Naruto scratched his head, Sally should be on the VIP list he submitted, so security shouldn't be stopping her.

"Is it Sally Jackson, because she is on my list?"

"No sir, she says her name is Juliette."

"Oh, that's really surprising. I never thought I'd see her again, let her in please."

"Yes sir."

The security guard turned around and gestured for the woman waiting outside to come in. She walked in with the confidence that she owned the place. She looked the exact same as she did the last time Naruto saw her, seven years ago. Of course, knowing what he knew now he wasn't surprised at her unchanging beauty. Instead he was surprised to see her at all. According to Sally god's weren't allowed to come into contact with their mortal children until they were at camp or aware of their heritage, and Chloe was neither.

"Juliette? What are you doing here, I kinda assumed I would never see you again."

Juliette sheepishly chuckled, she then scratched the back of her head in a gesture very similar to both himself and his daughter.

"Heh, about that. You know how I mentioned my husband in the letter I sent you? Well he-"

"Yeah I'm just gonna cut you off here, I know about the gods and I'm like 95% sure you're Aphrodite."

"Oh thank the gods I had no idea what bullshit story I was gonna spin about me not being in France with my husband. I am Aphrodite by the way, but you should have known that no other woman could compare to me."

Naruto had to nod at that. In all of his life Naruto had never even caught a glimpse at a more alluring woman, everything about her oozed sensuality and beauty. If she really was a mortal Naruto would have had to see her full family tree just to see what type of people could produce a child that attractive.

"Well Naruto, now that you apparently know about the real me, I guess you could hear the real story. The guy you fought, Conner McGregor, is actually the legacy of Ares. He brought me here to watch his grandson beat up some random mortal. So when I saw that he was fighting you it threw me for a loop. What happened to Sweet on America? I had to charm a few people to set you up with that cushy job."

"Well honestly it was boring. That would have been fine but around the same time MMA was legalized here in New York state I also learned about Chloe's godly DNA. My thinking was that if I could beat up the best fighters in the world I could keep Chloe safe from the monsters."

"Aww, that's so sweet! It's actions like that that drew me to you Naruto. While you are a hunk It's the overprotective, sweet, and kind personality you have that really got to me. Even if you didn't have that I would be all over you now, Mr. world-famous fighter."

"Thanks Aphrodite, that's good to hear. What brings you to my dressing room though, I thought you gods couldn't meet their kids?"

"Is Chloe here? I charmed your friend Sally So she'll only come here after I leave. I wanted to see you again. Out of all my mortal lovers you're like top twenty-five of all time, probably top ten. Maybe momma can get a quickie in before you've got to go?"

"What about Ares, didn't you come here with him. Are you really going to play your boyfriend so dirty?"

"Boyfriend is a very loose term. I think of him like a slumpbuster, If I don't have any good mortal prospects I go to him. He's around and desperate for me, one of my favorite combinations. I'm the Goddess of Love Naruto, my purpose in life is to search the globe for my one destined lover. I haven't found him yet but I'm not giving up anytime soon, Ares is around to fill the gap, I do needs Naruto."

"Well It has been a while since I've been with anyone, and you are the best I've ever had. If you're willing I am too."

"What do you mean 'it's been a while'? Naruto you're a famous millionaire and you've got the looks to match. You must be a hot commodity."

"I don't exactly have that much free time between work and being a single father Aphrodite. I've never been one for random, meaningless sex and I want to wait until Chloe is older to have a real relationship. Hell you're the last woman I've slept with."

"Naruto it's been seven years. Chloe is my daughter, and if I know anything about my kids it's that they love love. Chloe would be happy that you're happy. You don't need to have her meet the woman on your first date. Play the field Naruto, that's an order! Ooh, by the way. While you can fight very well monsters can't be killed like that very easily at all. Normal weapons won't do damage to monsters, you need special weapons made out of celestial bronze. I love that you've made the effort though, you're going to get a nice reward pretty soon."

"Wait, Aphrodite, regular weapons won't kill monsters? I've got an old kunai from home that was considered very special, I think I have it in my bag over there. If I go grab it could you tell me if it would work? It's worth a shot."

Before he even got a reply Naruto walked across the room to go retrieve his bag. Biting his finger Naruto drew a seal in his own blood, more specifically a chakra cancellation seal. The goal was that with this seal active no one would be able to sense chakra usage in the room. Rooting around in the bag Naruto created a small truth seeking orb in his hand, out of the view of Aphrodite. Willing it to shift into the form of a kunai Naruto handed it to her, making sure to deactivate it so it wouldn't destroy her if it affected Greek figures.

"What the hell is this thing made of? It's some sort of pliable yet solid plasma. I can't forcefully marr or dent it, which shouldn't be possible. I can sense an aura of power emanating from this knife. Naruto where did you get this, and can I take it back to Olympus so Athena can study it? She loves mysteries and weapons, this would be the ultimate present to her."

"Sorry Aphrodite, but it's an artifact from my home village, and sort of a good luck charm for me. I would hate to lose it, it's saved me from more than a few nasty situations."

"Well I'm no expert but it seems like it may work, I have no clue really. I don't exactly fight monsters Naruto, I'm a little out of their league. But enough of all this talk. I just want to rip into you right now. Show me what the American Ninja has got Naruto!"

Twenty eight minutes later a satisfied Naruto welcomed his daughter, Sally, and Percy into his now empty dressing room.

"Daddy, daddy! You did so good, why did the mean zebra man make you lose?"

"Well sweetie, that was the referee, and he told me that I broke the rules, so I lost. Daddy didn't learn the rules and that was a mistake. And when the man in charge let me know there was nothing I could do. You have to respect whoever's in charge, or they won't respect or accept you. Now come on, how about I treat everyone here to a fancy dinner!"

With two cheering kids leading the way out of the building Sally slowed down to talk to Naruto.

"You were really impressive out there, up until you decided to finger a grown man. What went wrong in your head to think that was your best option, you were beating him up pretty easily?"

"Well Sally, If I've learned anything throughout my life it's that fingering is always effective. How about after dinner we tuck in the kids, go for some drinks, and I show you just how effective my fingering really is?"

Sally had to stop to keep in her laughter from the creative pick-up line.

"Oh Naruto, it would take a few drinks for that to happen but I'm not against giving you a shot. You've got to lay some romantic groundwork first before we get right to the dirty talk. What brought this on?"

"I got some advice from the woman who came to my dressing room, so I decided to give it a shot. Who knows what'll happen tonight, ne Sally?"