Chapter 50.

With Dean asleep and Castiel seemingly lost in thought, Sam found most of the drive home quiet and uneventful. He played Dean's music, on a lower volume than Dean preferred, so it had no chance to wake him but if he woke, he would have no cause to complain. He tried a few times to engage Cas in conversation, but since their final walk around the graves, when Cas had been talking about their previous battle there, he had slipped into an odd reverie and gave brief, inconsequential responses that suggested he was only vaguely aware of anything outside his own head.

He decided to try again when Lebanon was getting a lot closer. He wanted to be sure they were all ready to rejoin the busy bunker. "Cas," he said, "Is there something wrong? If going to Stull raked up anything terrible, we should talk about it."

At first, he thought Cas hadn't heard, but then he said, "Nothing terrible was raked up. Well, not really."

"Does that mean something was?" said Sam, "You seem quiet. I mean, quiet even for you."

Cas looked back to the back seat, where Dean was sleeping. "He looks peaceful." he said.

Sam looked back briefly. "Yes, he does."

"Sam, he let me look into his mind. He wanted me to see what he thinks of me."

"He did? That seems unusually brave for Dean."

"Dean fights deities and demigods." said Cas.

"Emotionally brave, for Dean." said Sam.

"It was unexpected." said Cas.

"Did you see something that troubled you?" said Sam, "Because I can promise you, Dean cares about you and he always will."

"It didn't trouble me. It seems more than I deserve, more than I can ever live up to, but to see his love, to know what our friendship means to him, that made all we have been through worthwhile."

"You and Dean are weird." said Sam, "I never needed to look into either of your minds to know how you feel about me or about each other. You each needed to see and you were both astonished at what you found. Of course he loves you. You pulled him out of Hell. You've been his best friend ever since. And of course you love him. He taught you about freedom and choice and Led Zeppelin."

"But even you were surprised that he let me see into his thoughts." said Cas.

"Yeah," said Sam, "Dean doesn't bare his soul often." He glanced back at his sleeping brother again. "I wonder if he looks peaceful because he finally told you what you are to him."

"I suspect it's more that he told you the worst thing about Hell and you didn't hate him." said Cas.

"When do we wake him?" said Sam.

"No need to wake him before Lebanon." said Cas, "Let him rest while he can. Do you think you'll sleep well tonight? If you have more nightmares ... "

"The dream I had last night, I think was telling me to talk to Dean while I can." said Sam, "It was a message from my subconscious, warning me that I could lose him if we don't communicate."

"Whatever pushed you in that direction, you made the right decision." said Cas, "You two did well today. All that honesty ... It's good for all of us."

"It felt good, really good." said Sam, "Even when he told me what that monster did to him in Hell, it was good, just to have it said, out in the open. I couldn't fight his damn self-loathing without knowing what it was based on. Now, I get it. No wonder it destroyed him. We can fix it. We can fix it all. We can get Dean out of all that twisted mess."

"I think you've already helped him more than you know." said Cas, "His biggest fear was that you would find out and you would never trust him again. Until today, I thought he would rather die than tell you."

"I think he told me because if our relationship had to end, he wanted it to happen now. Why put off the inevitable?" said Sam, "Telling me almost was dying. I saw it in his eyes."

"I'm glad he saw only love in yours." said Cas.

"Only love, always, for him." said Sam, "I owe him everything I have and everything I am and anything good I may one day be."

"Me too." said Cas.

"Of course, if you ever tell him I said that, I'll shove your angel blade so far down your throat it'll stab you in the ass."

"Have I ever praised the poetry of your threats?" said Cas.

"No." said Sam.

"Ever wonder why?"

Soon, they were in Lebanon. They stopped a short distance from the bunker and Cas gently woke Dean.

"How do you feel, Dean?" asked Sam.

Dean smiled. "About ten years younger and a ton lighter. Are we ready to pretend to be weary hunters back from a routine ghost hunt?"

"We did lay a few ghosts." said Sam. Seeing Cas's puzzled expression, he said, "Metaphor, Cas."

"I think I knew that." said Cas, "Almost sure."

"I should drive to the bunker." said Dean.

"I thought you'd say that." said Sam, getting out.

When they were all in their proper places, they drove to the bunker. News of their return soon reached Mary and she was waiting in the garage. She hugged Sam as soon as he was out of the car, gave a quick squeeze to Cas and then looked at Dean. "How was the vengeful spirit?" she said.

Sam was happy to see the light back in Dean's eyes and the swagger back in his walk. He kissed her cheek and said, "Vengeful and spirited, but we kicked it in the ass. We ain't afraid of no ghost."

"I'll get Jack. He'll want to hear this." she said.

"We'll be in the library, once we've cleaned up." said Dean, "Oh, and Mom, next hunt you're on, I'm on it too. You're right, we need some time together. It'll be fun."

She left, smiling. Sam turned to Dean, "You're sure you're ready for that?"

"I'm ready for anything." said Dean. He put a hand on Sam's shoulder, the other on Cas's. "I have the best back-up in the world, possibly in any world, because apparently we don't coincide in all of them. 'First, whatever happens, we are family and there is nothing that can ever change that, nothing we can do or say to end it.'" he said, quoting the beginning of the Winchester Pact.

"He has the whole thing on his phone." said Cas.

"You know, the guy who wrote that was a frickin' genius." said Dean.

"You should meet his brother." said Sam.

"I've met them both." said Cas, "Remarkable men."

"But nothing without their angel brother." said Dean.

"And he'd be nothing without them."

"We have a lot of whisky and a lot of hunters." said Dean, "Let's get 'em drunk and tell 'em a ghost story."

"Sounds good to me." said Sam.

"Then, later, you can tell Jack the truth, Cas." said Dean.

"How much of the truth?" said Cas, "I've already told Sam about what happened."

"He's your kid." said Dean, "I'm the last person to ask a father to keep things from his son."

"About what happened ..." said Cas, "Thanks."

"Long overdue, Cas." said Dean, "Sorry it took so long." He smiled at Sam. "Ready, Sam?"

Sam saw another flash of pre-Hell Dean in those eyes bright with mischief. It was going to be a hell of a story and he was going to have fun helping Dean to spin it. Above all, though, he would enjoy watching his brother perform with his full showmanship and shine. "Hell, yeah." he said. He turned to Cas, who was looking uneasy. "Just nod, smile and drink whisky, Cas." he said, "You'll be fine."

"Hell, yeah!" said Dean.

The End.

Next Story: Winchester 101.