This morning was like any boring day at work with no new cases, forcing the team to fill up all the paperwork they were late on.

Jay rubbed his eyes as he was already exasperated. He got up from his chair and made his way to the break room to pour himself a cup of coffee. Once onside, he noticed his partner standing in front of the window. Hailey was facing away from Jay, looking out the windows staring at nothing but the cloudy day sky.

"Hey" he said as he took his cup.

Hailey didn't react at all, too engrossed in the path her thoughts had taken her to even be aware of her surroundings. She absently ran her finger along the rim of her nearly empty cup as she stared at light drizzle that had begun over the city. It didn't appear to be stopping or even inconveniencing the people walking along the sidewalk. Everyone seemed to be in a great spirit which was a sharp contrast to her own darkening mood. She just kept watching disgustedly out the window at the passersby, lost in her own thoughts. Hailey closed her eyes for a moment and drew in a deep breath. There's an aching hole in her chest, a strangling grasp around her throat, and the world narrows down to a single pinpoint of sight. Sound is absence, unnaturally quiet even as the raging of her soul whistles in her ears.

"You okay?"

Jay looks expectantly at her, but Hailey doesn't answer, too lost in memories that she'd rather forget but were now violently assailing her. They taunt her, reverberating through her head in an endless stream of pain. Shuddering at a memory, Hailey snapped out of her thoughts and took another deep breath to calm herself. Jay noticed that Hailey had zoned out.

"Hailey!" he said louder.

Hailey jumped slightly as if she hadn't expected him to speak. She looked up from the random spot on the street she had been staring at and met the one person's eyes she did not want to see. He was staring at her, it felt like he was looking right down to her core, drawing her into his gaze.

"hmm, sorry what?" she asked him.

"You okay? You seem…off" he replied as he took a gulp of his coffee, still staring at her.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm-"

Suddenly the Adam interrupted their discussion, leaning against doorframe of the breaking room. "We've got case." Jay and Hailey instantly put their cup in the sink and got out of the break whole team quickly made their way to their vehicles. Hailey jumps into the passenger seat and Jay gets into the driver's seat.

Intelligence drives up to a busy street full of people and police officers. Getting out of their vehicles, the team grabs their gear and weapons out of the truck of the SUV's. They were soon joined by the patrolmen who responded first.

"there is one first victim which is in a critical condition. Now the subject's got a hostage, female" the patrolman says to Voight.

As they walk closer to the scene, Voight looks around and notices all the people gathered around to watch.

"Southwest, needs containment. Make sure the outer perimeter is clear." Voight ordered to Burgess and Halstead.

"Atwater and Ruzek take the inner perimeter "

"Copy" they all said before running towards their respective spot.

"This place is packed" Hailey states, her sniper riffle on her hand.

"Which means, you have to go high." Voight affirms.

"I'll take the North building. " she explains as she runs towards the north building.

Voight looks at the subject. The man was a bit portly, in his mid to late fifties. He was partially bald, and had tan skin. Not that dark, but the color stood out next to the stark white of his hostage. His hostage was a business woman, around his age, acting as a human shield with the barrel of his gun to her head.

"Alright guys. Keep a close eye. This guy doesn't look to happy" Voight announces.

Antonio follows Voight towards the subject keeping a safe distance nonetheless. They made their way toward a patrol car separating them from the subject and thus protecting them if things were to escalate.

"Inspector" Voight greets as he stands next to the inspector.

"He's all yours, sergeant" The inspector stated as he was still looking at the subject holding the hostage. The man was rapidly speaking, but no one understood him.

"The guy got a name?" Voight asks curiously. "No. He doesn't speak English" the inspector admits.

"What does he speak?" Antonio questions.

"He speaks Eastern European, or something. I don't know" the inspector replied.

"Well how long have you been here?" Voight asks.

"I think it's Yugoslavian, Croatian" One of the other inspectors intervened.

"Can you speak it?" Voight asks him. Talking down a subject without understanding his language and speaking it wouldn't be easy.

"No" the inspector admits.

"Where is the translator?" Voight then asks, looking back at the inspector.

"Back there" the inspector points behind him.

"What does he speak?" Voight questions.

"Russian" the inspector replies.

Voight groans before quickly picks up a Walky Talky. "We need a Croatian translator." Voight explains quickly before moving closer towards the subject, followed by Antonio, Ruzek and Atwater. He was gonna begin the negotiations. He raised his hands up as they shuffled forward to a shoulder height cement wall, just outside a glass building a little to the east of their original position. They were standing on the edge of a plaza, guns trained on a man in the center. Voight was trying to talk to the, to de-escalate here as he didn't want the hostage getting shot.

"I'm sergeant Hank Voight!" Voight called to the Subject. "This is just a radio, I'm gonna put it down." He called, cautiously setting down the radio down on the ledge. The Subject yelled something aggressively in his language, Voight listening intently even though he couldn't understand.

"Let's talk. That it. Lets just talk" Voight says as he kept his hands held up.

But the subject is unresponsive to Voight's attempt to ease the situation as more screams in a foreign language came out from the subject mouth.

"Easy, easy. This is all about finding a way home. We all want to go home. But first, you have to but the gun down." Voight called, but it was all for nothing. He might as well have been talking to a brick wall that doesn't understand English, Voight thought bitterly as the man screamed angrily in Croatian.

"I'm in position." Hailey says through her earpiece.

While Hank began to try to talk to the subject, Antonio received a call. He answered it and hung out a few minutes later.

"The woman he shot, looks like she probably won't make it" he explains as put back his phone into his bullet proof vest. Voight looked at him, frustrated at the realization that this case wasn't gonna end well.

But Voight kept trying to discuss with the subject, not willing to have the day end with another dead body.

"We can work this out together. One step at a time, you understand me?" Voigt asks still trying to ease the situation before using the lethal force.

"First impression, not substance issues. He's on full on tunnel vision. I'm thinking multiple stressors. Might help if we knew what he was saying" Antonio stated with his fighting stance with his riffle up, ready to intervene if things escalated.

As Voight understood he couldn't reach the subject, he took back his radio to make another call. "Dispatch, what's going on with my translator?".

"We got someone. He's on route, ten minutes" the dispatch answers.

"That's not good enough, patch him on the phone right now" Voight demanded suddenly.

"Hailey talk to me" Voight demands through the earpiece.

"He is holding her close" She answers as he could hear her tensed voice on the other side of the earpiece.

"How's the view?" He questions her.

"Cold zero. I got the solution" she advised.

"You know why we're all here?" Voight called, his hands in the air. "It's about helping you. You understand? Help! But first... You have to put the gun down! You have to put the gun down!" He tried, making gun gestures with his hands. The man got angrier, and continued his ranting. Sighing in partial defeat, Voight spoke into a radio. "Give me, uh, give me 'gun down'."

"ostavi pistolj" the translator says through the radio and Voight copies every word the translator says. But the man only escalated. He held the woman tighter, causing her to whimper, closing her eyes tightly.

"Barivitsi niema!" the man yelled back.

"Give me 'we wanna help'." Voight asked the radio. "Pochie vomapovenchi! Ostavie pistole!" Voight called in vain. "Put the gun down! Just put the gun down!" The angry man continued to rant, holding the woman closer and closer, tighter and tighter. Give me 'calm down'. Smiri se! Smiri se! Keep it calm! " Voight yelled.

The subject holds the gun closer to the woman and yells something.

" what he saying?" Voight asks curiously. "I'll shoot her, don't make me shoot her" the translator responds through the phones

"Keep it calm! Keep it calm!" Voight called, a little louder with anticipation. The man screamed something, and pointed the gun in the air before the whole team ducks behind the ledge. The people in the crowd screamed, and Voight hoped to the high heavens that Hailey had the shot. The man slowly lowered the gun back down to the woman's head, and Voight made the final decision.

Voight sighs and looks down to the ground. "Hailey, Hailey" he says.

" Yeah, go ahead" she mentions.

"shout him down" Voight demands.

"Copy" Hailey advises. It's not always easy for her to take someone out. But for her, anybody who threatens his team deserves what they get. There were several moments of nothing, and for an instant Antonio thought that Hailey had lost the shot, and she began preparing herself for the worst.

But suddenly they hear a young man voice scream coming closer to the scene.

"Sarge we got a runner! Jay, red wall." Burgess called, a bit of panic in her voice as he saw the young man through his riffle sight. Voight stands up quickly, flicked her gaze over to the 'red wall' and sees a boy running towards the scene. "Hold fire, Hailey. Hold fire" Voight shouts.

Jay caught the kid as he ducked under the yellow tape, making it only twenty yards away from the subject.

"Copy that, holding fire" she breaths, the situation was taking a turn for the worse. They conversed, and as the seconds passed, Hailey stomach tightened even more. Things started to spin a bit, as the pain in her head increased dramatically. Everyone was anxious. Because of this, she kept his senses on high alert, not for her sake, but for everyone else's, and hoped that no one would get involved.

The boy runs quickly passed the cops and into the square. "Tata! Tata!" the boy yells.

"Jay, he's coming to you" Antonio mentions through his earpiece.

"Copy that" Jay's voice says. Across the square Jay looks around and finally spots the boy running towards his father.

"Hey! Stop right there. Stop,stop,stop. Easy" Jay says as he holds the boy back.

The subject turns around and looks at the boy quickly yelling something. Jay looks at the boy and holds him back. "Explains to me. Is that your father?" Jay asks. The boy nods his head as tears run down his face. The boy and his father have a short conversation as Jay keeps trying to hold him back.

Voight listens as the subject's son cries in the background.

"It is still a go" Hailey says.

"Hold on Hailey, only if he escalates. Let's see if the son can work this out" Voight adds.

" Copy. " Hailey agrees.

The team listens as Jay calms the son down. "No one's going to hurt him, we just need to talk to him" he explains. The subject and his son start to have a conversation in Croatian again, casing everyone to wonder what their saying which began to frustrate them to not know was happening. Through the scope, Hailey watches as Voight negotiates, attempting to reach the desperate man but even from her distance, she can see that the words are falling on deaf ears. The subject grows increasingly agitated, the gun in his hand switching targets from the hostage to himself to the air, and Hailey readies herself. Suddenly the subject becomes aggressive once again and quickly points the gun towards Voight again.

Everyone quickly ducks again. Hailey sucked in a breath as the gun was raised in the air again, pointed slightly in their direction.

"Hailey, take him down" Voight finally yells. This was it. The subject was irresponsive to any attempt to calm down.

Suddenly chaos erupts as the boy ducked under Jay's arms, breaks free from Jay's grip and ran for his father. Jay knew that his sergeant asked Hailey to shoot him, and he knew that the subject was holding a gun towards them, but he also knew that he had to stop the boy or he would end up dead by Hailey's shot.

So Jay quickly runs towards the boy, thinking he could reach him before appearing in Hailey's aiming point, as Antonio yells through the headset. "Hailey, the boy!" and the gunshot goes off.

In Hailey's eye she remembered seeing Jay and the boy in clear view of the sniper. She takes a deep breath and fumbles with the sniper as she looks through the telescope. When she does she looks to where the man was standing and sees Jay laying down on top of the boy, and the subject on the ground, with blood around his body. For a few seconds Jay doesn't move. Her brain was racing - how many times had she felt like this - too many. Too many times she had nearly lost her partner and now again she thought he was gone. Once more her heart was being ripped apart.

She was terrified. What if the bullet traveled through Jay and through the subject? She watches as Voight, Antonio and the rest of the team run over quickly. "Jay?!" Antonio asks worried.

Jay couldn't hear the screams of his teammates; his ear piece had fallen out in the blast. When he managed to retrieve it he could hear the panic in Antonio's voice as he frantically called Jay for his status.

"I'm good" Jay quickly says as he stands up slowly. Hailey takes a deep breath and puts down her sniper. Her heartbeat was racing and her mouth became dry as the adrenaline rushed through her veins. This adrenaline did not feel good at all. She just almost shot and killed Jay and the boy, and that is one thing that will not leave her mind. She just keeps thinking about what would happen if she did.

A wave of intense nausea came over her and she had no option but to run behind the closer wall and throw up.

From all the way up, Hailey could hear an ear-shattering scream come from the boy looking at his dead father, lying on the center of the square.

"What did you do! Why did you do that!" the boy yells furiously up to the sky.

The woman hostage walks quickly towards Voight, Jay and Antonio, shocked about what she just went through. She looks at Jay and shows a small smile. Jay stands there, speechless and still a little in shock himself, as the woman wraps her arms around him, giving her a hug. "Thank you" the woman whispers, crying. Atwater pulls the woman away from Jay and leads her towards all the police officers. Jay then looks at Voight with shock in his eyes as this latter place his hands on Jay's shoulder before squeezing it. Noticing the wound to Jay's arm Voight looked at his young detective "I thought you said you weren't injured?".

Jay frowned and looked at his arm noticing a cut on his forearm. He hadn't noticed it before then. Must have been the adrenaline.

"You did good Jay" Voight patted his shoulder "Go and get your arm checked".

The inspector from earlier made their way to the entrance of the north building waiting for Hailey to come down from the roof. Once she did, the inspector made his way toward her, not letting her capture a moment with her team.

"It's now a crime scene". The man told her. He then turned to some patrolman "Tape it up. Nobody speaks to the subject officer." He ordered them before turning his attention back to Hailey.

"Constable, I need your rifle and your kit." He told her. Hailey executed, still a little shocked about how it ended. When the inspector took her riffle, he gave it to one of his guys and turned back to her. The rest of his sayings fade back into the ringing noise in her ears and Hailey stopped paying attention.

"… under investigation; you know the drill." She heard. The inspector noticed she was still unease, lost in her mind, not really listening to him. Everything is feeling rather blurred at the moment, so she thinks she'll just stick with a single task for now; breathe. It takes too much effort to focus on anything else. "Whenever you're ready." At this moment she looked up from the random spot on the floor she had been absentmindedly staring at while she was thinking and looked back at the man.

"Now, you know you're sequestered, there's no talking, okay?" She only nodded, still a little absent. They began to make their way to the inspector's car.

Jay was being checked over and the wound to his arm dressed when he saw Hailey a few meters away. She was following the inspector and he noticed how engrossed in her thoughts she was.

But when she caught his eyes, he could tell just by the expression on her face that she was angry with him.

Voight walked toward Hailey and the inspector.

"It was by the book, Norm" Voight admits to the inspector. "Yeah?" the man questions. "That would be for special investigations to decide" the inspector says.

"Hailey you good?" Voight asked. Turning to Voight, Hailey gave him a brief small smile to deflect how she really felt. Which was still so conflicted.

"You know better then to talk to subject officers, Sergeant" the inspector says.

As the inspector opens the car door, Voight comes walking beside Hailey.

"Hailey?" Voight asks.

"Voight!" the inspector hisses.

"Mind just plugging your earholes for a second as a talk to my detective here and ask how she's doing?" Voight argues.

The inspector nods and walks away.

"Fine. Fine" Hailey nods. She continues on, walking and breathing, acting like a stable human being when it is the furthest thing from her mind. And Jay noticed that from the ambo.

Voight nodded before stepping back, as the inspector opens her door. Voight smiles and looks at her. "It was a good shot" Voight mentions, causing Hailey to nod slowly, before entering the car. She had a review to attend with SIU.

Later that day, back from the review, Hailey sits against a wall in the locker room, thinking about everything that happened. She just needed a minute to process the day. She closed her eyes, letting her emotions settle down. She's lost then, swallowed by her own mind and the horror that reverberates through every fiber of her being.

"You okay" she heard a voice she knew too well. She opened her eyes as she silently noted the pair of concerned eyes watching her. And suddenly, the numbness is gone, replaced by a hate so burning in its' intensity that Hailey wonders if she's literally on fire. She directs it at Jay.

As she watched him, emotions started to run high "I was going to carry it, Jay! For the rest of my life. You were going to make me carry it." her voice was filled with so much anger and pain at the same time it broke. "And it's not fair. Damn it, Jay it's not fair, and you…you of all people, should understand why you don't do that to someone. You don't make them have to live with the guilt. You don't make them have to live with the should-haves and the could-haves and the endless ways it might have gone." She exhaled. "I can't handle that, not again!" she looked at him in a way to make a point.

But Jay blinks, caught completely off-guard and tries to speak, attempting to figure out exactly what Hailey meant. He didn't understand. What has he done to make her that angry.

"I-," he attempted to speak but Hailey didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

" No! I'm-" she started to say, and then stopped herself. She was so angry with Jay and she couldn't find the words. "I'm furious with you Jay! You should never have run toward the boy - you could have been killed! By ME!"; anger hanging off every word she spoke. Jay had even been surprised at Hailey outburst.

"Hailey it's the job!" he shouted with incomprehension.

It was the wrong thing to say and he could only watch as Hailey nearly exploded with rage.

"It's not a job! It's your life! And today, of all freaking days, I thought I lost you!"

He had tried to appease the situation, but Hailey wasn't listening; all her venom and anger directed at Jay. It had been his decision and he had been irresponsible and reckless.

"Irresponsible and reckless?! I saved a man's life today!" Furious, Jay stared at his partner. Right at that moment he did not care about the risk he took - all he cared about was that he had save the man. He wasn't gonna apologize for it, especially when she would have done the same thing in his position.

He sighed. His voice was softer as well when he spoke again. "We do a dangerous job - that's just the way it is; unless you want me to work in an office " Jay was trying to lighten the conversation, but her face didn't move; there was not even the tiniest hint of a smile from her mouth. Jay paused for a second, replaying what Hailey had said to him: "What do you mean 'of all freaking days'?"

Hailey turned away, avoiding his partner eyes. "Nothing. " She replied getting up and opened her locker to distract herself.

Hailey knew then that she had mistaken anger for fear - absolute and all-consuming fear that she had lost Jay. The fear had engulfed her.

"No,no,no stop!" He closed her locker "Tell me!"

"Tell you what?" she asked cautiously turning to him.

"what's been going on on your mind the whole day," Jay sighed. "this morning you were clearly upset about something. So tell me." he replied. She bottled up the whole day and she just burst it all out just now. He knew it wasn't just the fact that he took a risk today. There was more.

She thought about an instant about whether to tell him or not.

"Today…" she sighed still hesitant. Hailey closed her eyes, forcing the next words out. "It's been 3 years since Garett died" she looked down, trying to conceal her red eyes. It takes everything she has not to break further. Instead, she looks up at him and lets down her shields completely, showing the hurt and the loss and the bone-deep agony she's been carrying inside. Every year she deals with his disappearance and not knowing what really happened to him or where his body is makes it harder to truly move on.

Her eyes are burning as she looks up, looking for Jay with a desperate plea in their depths. They meet the other man's eyes, and she fights the urge to cry at the sympathetic pain and sadness she sees in them. She closes hers then and looks away, a dry sob escaping in a silent admittance, wonders when she'd let herself get so soft. So weak.

"And I killed a guy today and it's just…" her voice broke again. "It's just too much for a day you know…" a shaky hand ran through his hair as she closes her eyes. She's gone then, lost in a whirlwind of emotions and memories as the events of the day wash over her again, let loose from the box she'd shoved them into. And Jay feels his own throat ache at the hitch in the woman's voice.

He doesn't know what to do. He wants to say something but doesn't know what, and his indecision comes from the guilt that is squeezing his chest and getting tighter the more the other man speaks. He feels guilty because he is part of the reason of her emotional state.

As for Garett, he can understand where Hailey is coming from; what it's like to be hollow inside, to be left with only the bad parts of life. How it feels to be helpless and hopeless, lost and condemned; to be broken, and to break in return. When Matt had died, a part of Jay had died with him.

A touch brings her out of her thoughts; she opens her eyes a bit and sees greens staring directly into her own blues. There's a pause, a breath, a stillness that gapes between them, and as they stare at each other, everything stops.

"You did your job." he said softly breaking the silence. They held eye contact as he gave her a nod. She understood why he didn't say that she 'did good out there', and she was grateful. Because killing someone wasn't good. There was nothing great or amazing or good about taking another human being's life. And they both knew it. You don't deal with people, but you deal with their ghost. The person you shot has a past, a history, a family. More than the killing, the aftermath is affecting you because you see that look on their family's faces. A son. A wife. A mother. Even if the one you shot was the bad one, even if it was their choice to take the wrong way, you're the one who pressed the trigger. You're the one who took a life.

They lapse into silence, the quiet helping to soothe the headache that had begun pounding through their head during the confrontation. But silence is the language they live in. It comforts them and soothes them in a way speech never could because it held no expectations and asked for nothing in return. Silence was just silence, empty and open, capable of being filled but still as desirable when not. It was void of human trappings and emotional minefields, a neutral ground upon which to stand.

"Let's go. Your exhausted. I'll drive you home". He said.

Hailey let the hot water running down her body in droplets as she washed away the stress of the day. When she was dried and finished, she wrapped herself in a towel and stared at her tired expression in the foggy mirror.

Once she got out of the bathroom fully dressed in some comfy clothes, she made her way to the kitchen to pour herself some coffee in a cup, noticing Jay was preparing something to diner. She wasn't hungry but didn't say anything, thinking he might be. She stuck with her cup of coffee and walked back to her living room to sit on her couch.

After a few minutes, she heard him approaching. A steaming bowl of soup was slid in front of her on the coffee table, as well as a fresh beverage. She looked up to see Jay sliding into the armchair in front of the couch she was sitting in. He nodded toward the bowl. "You shouldn't drink on an empty stomach."

She rolled her eyes. "It's coffee. I doubt it's going to go straight to my head."

"True but the caffeine might keep you awake all night."

Despite her protests she picked up the spoon and took a dutiful bite. She was sure it was as good as always but it just tasted like color water to her. But she took another spoonful just the same. Then she washed it down with a sip of the fresh coffee. "What makes you think I want to sleep tonight? I know I won't be able to. Every time I close my eyes I see him. I don't want to keep reliving these moments; living through them was bad enough " she looked down to her cup.

"Copy that." Jay spoke softly "But it's going to be a rough couple of days; you'll make yourself sick if you don't eat and don't get sleep."

She nodded. For a few minutes, they ate in silence. Once their soup was finished they continued to sit there, not talking but needing each other's presence.

He nodded toward her empty cup of coffee. "Want another?"

She nodded. He got up and returned several minutes later with a full coffee pot and a chocolate box. Hailey raised an eyebrow. Jay shrugged.

"You said you didn't want to take a chance on dreaming. What better way to stay awake than by overdosing on caffeine and chocolate. Besides, those are my favorites"

A small smile appeared on her lips. She watched him reaching for one of the chocolate present in the box and savor it. He intended to stay awake all night with her, for her. She sure had the best partner everyone could ask for.

She shook her head and reached for one of them too.

She finished off the chocolate she'd started and looked over at him again. "Thank you." She paused. "For being here now when I need someone to keep me grounded. To keep me from wallowing in my own despair." She giggled slightly. He smiled back at her before popping a whole chocolate in his mouth.

"And I am sorry" she said with a more serious tone this time.

He looked confused.

"I was so caught up with arguing with you about the risk you put yourself I didn't even ask you about how you've been." She met Jay's eyes, silently apologizing for her earlier emotional reactions.

Jay shook his head. "Hailey…"

"I mean you almost died. And…well, it never feels good."

He nodded slightly, almost like he too was lost in his own thoughts. Then realization hits her. "How's your arm by the way?!" she asked, a more concern look on her face.

He smiled at her. She was deflecting. She tried to turn the attention towards him when she was the one who needed to be taken care off.

"Don't do that." He smiled at her and at her nice attempt. She exhaled, knowing he figured her out. She shook her head smiling. Once again she played with the rim of her second cup as her smile slowly fade away.

"It's feels like I'll never be able to fully move on. And I know it's been three years since he…" Even years later, she couldn't bring herself to say the word.

"died, Hailey" Jay said it for her, his blue eyes reflecting his own pain. A pain that was made worse when she visibly flinched at the word. Despite this, he pressed on. "It's okay to say it."

She shook her head. "No, it's not. It can't be okay cause it shouldn't have happened. But it did. And death doesn't let you say goodbye …"

Jay closed his eyes and leaned back against armchair. He understood that kind of guilt, that kind of pain, all too well. How many times had he wished for just a few more minutes with someone he had lost just so he could tell them the important things he never got a chance to say? He opened his eyes again.

Fresh tears filled her eyes and her lower lip quivered. "People should hear the good things while they are still alive to appreciate it you know. Why do we wait until its too late to say the important things? Why do we wait until it doesn't matter?"

Jay didn't have an answer. He gets up. Her partner always understands what she needs because after a few seconds, he's there, sitting on the coffee table right in front of her but not crowding her in any way. Jay gently runs his fingers back and forth over her hand, a soothing gesture. It's an intimate connection, and as comforting as a hug can be. She shook her head looking at them but didn't pull her hand away.

" When I understood I would never see him again, it's like time stopped. It stopped for him; it stopped for me; it stopped for everyone. Only it started back for everyone else while I'm still suspended in that moment. I'm still sitting there waiting for a miracle that's not going to happen; a miracle that will mean that he'll show up tomorrow. The world started moving again but I'm stuck waiting for someone to tell me everything is going to be okay." Her voice broke as she quickly wiped away a tear. "And being disgusted with people for just walking down the street like the world's the same place. That if you had just done something different… they might still be here…" She took a deep breath, trying to force away the few more tears beginning to pool in her eyes because of the memories her speech brought to the fore front of her mind. Jay sat next to her and pulled her into his embrace and held her close as her sobs once more overtook her.

"It still hurts, you know" she continued " it never stops hurting; no matter how long it's been and how many tears you shed. How every morning when you wake up, for a few glorious moments you forget they're gone, and everything seems like it should be, until you move and everything comes crashing back down on you. How it doesn't seem like anything will ever be right again. And everyone says to just give it time, that you'll move on after a while but"

"but you can never fully move on." He finished her phrase. "I know." he nodded. "I've learned this the hard way." Hailey kept holding him while listening to him. "But you need to think about what Garett would want, how he would want you to live." She doesn't know whether it's his words or his tone that gets to her, but something does, and her expression loses some of the hardened edge. His voice is softer as well when he speaks again, and Hailey thinks that she's never heard Jay use that tone of voice before.

"And this here, what you're doing now? It won't help Hails. You know this won't help you; The only thing that you can do is to move forward with it, not to move on, but learn to continue living without him. Garett loved you, don't let him down." He finished. After a few instant of silence and process, he leaned in close to her ear, softly he whispered the words she wanted to hear.

"It's going to be okay, Hailey. I promise, it might not seem like it now but everything is going to be okay." He admitted as he kept holding her shaking body close to his.

She nodded. She accepted the comfort of his arms and the warm of his breath against the side of her face.