Title: Ache
author: Cindy Ryan
Grief catches up to a person. Sometimes you're prepared; most often not. Firefighter Eddie Diaz wasn't prepared this time. He wasn't grieving; in fact he was the opposite. Eddie was beyond happy and grateful to still have his son. Eddie reasoned what was hitting him now was the post traumatic reaction. The near miss; the what could have been. The what almost was.
It was his first day home after the Tsunami. He'd dropped Christopher at Carla's for dinner so he could do laundry and a few other odds and ends. Eddie had opted to take a shower once home. It'd been another long day and his muscles were feeling every minute of it. Eddie had stripped and stepped under the hot spray of water sinking gratefully into the heat and steam.
Perhaps it was the water that was the trigger. Eddie did'n't know; he just knew the sobs weren't stopping and his tears were mixing with the shower spray. Eddie sank into the corner of the shower stall pulling his knees to his chest as the memories over too him. It'd taken his brain awhile to register that Buck was standing in front of him in a place he shouldn't be. His friend had been bloody, dirty and exhausted.
Barely on his feet Buc had looked so grief stricken that Eddie's mind had nearly shut down.
He hadn't wanted to believe it. Not at first. Not as Buck's hitched stumbling words sank in. It was Buc handing over Christopher's glasses that was his undoing. The small tiny frames scratched and dirty. Buck's words echoing in his chaotic thoughts.
"We were at the beach..."
The mere thought of that gigantic wave hitting his tiny eight year old son had torn at Eddie. He could see all too easily how scared and terrified Christopher could've and would've been as he tumbled. With Buck's further explanation each word was a stab to his heart. They'd just lost Shannon a few short months before. Could fate really be so cruel as to take his son too?
"I swear to you, okay, I tried..."
As his tired weary soul had tried to understand and digest what Buck was saying Eddie had remembered the first time he'd held Christopher as a baby. So small; so fragile. He'd sworn then like any father did that he would protect him. That he'd always be safe and happy. Even now Eddie could still feel the lump in his throat that that memory had produced. The tears that had started to gather. That had blurred his vision. That he'd had to clear in order to make sure what he was seeing a few feet away was true.
"Christopher!"
"Dad!"
That one word. That single word was the best thing Eddie had ever heard. It had almost instantly healed the ache that had started to form. The grief that had begun to build. Now, something hit Eddie's right foot drawing him back to the present. He wiped away the tears with his hands and looked over at his feet. A child's toy was touching the big toe of his right foot. A laugh combined with a sob escaped Eddie as he gathered up the bath toy. It was a red firetruck. Eddie stared at the toy for a long moment before he stood and placed the truck back in it's place on a shelf in the shower stall. His hand lingered on the toy for a few seconds. Eddie was so fortunate to still have his son.
Finishing the shower Eddie got dressed. He completed the household tasks and went to pick up Christopher. It was a routine thing something he nearly took for granted, but Eddie wouldn't; not ever again. He had his world back so many didn't.
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