The little headers that look like this: [EXAMPLE] will indicate whose POV we are in for each section. There will be adult material in this story! As always, read with care!

My Sweet Blueberry Sandwich

Chapter 1

[ADRIEN]

Adrien blearily looked at his phone as he considered his options. Calling Erica to remind her that she'd driven both of them to the club was not a good idea. She and that buff body-builder guy she'd left with were probably having hot monkey sex right now.

Dammit.

So much for that relationship. Not even a text this time.

Maybe this was a sign. Love didn't truly exist. No matter how many times he tried, no matter how hard he tried… it always eluded him. Adrien sighed and leaned against a wall for support, since the room seemed to want to spin. He needed to get his head out of the clouds and stop imagining that anyone could actually love him.

Besides, he had more pressing concerns. Like how to get home in one piece. His ride had just left.

Calling a taxi was out of the question. The last three times he'd tried that, it'd gotten to the papers the next morning. (No matter how much he paid them to keep their mouths shut.)

-AGRESTE HEIR! DRUNK AND DISORDERLY!

-IS THIS THE END OF THE GABRIEL LINE?! ADRIEN DUMPED AGAIN!

-"ADRIEN OFFERED ME MONEY TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM IN THE BACK OF MY CAB!" -GAY TAXI DRIVER REVEALS ALL!

(He had NOT, by the way. He'd thrown up in the back seat, and had been offering to pay to have the cab deep-cleaned. Why did the press think that being bisexual meant that he wanted to fuck anything that moved?)

Still, it didn't help him right now. Even if he'd brought his car, he was pretty sure he was too smashed to drive. He'd missed the door to the bathroom twice when trying to splash his face with water.

He stared at his phone again.

Not Nathalie. They'd use this excuse to drag him back home again and never let him leave.

No thanks, he thought wryly. I choose death.

Nino and Alya were out of the country, visiting relatives in Morocco.

Chloé was also overseas, negotiating some peace treaty.

Marin—nope. He kept skimming.

Wayham? Adrien snorted. Yeah, right. Last time he'd called the guy, he'd woken up drugged and naked in a strange bed. Luckily, he'd learned to pick handcuffs a long time ago. Wayham still insisted he'd given consent. Adrien didn't care. He just wanted to be done with that whole situation.

Ivan and Mylene had moved outside the city, and were four hours away at best. Plus, they had a new baby. No way was he calling them.

Kim was in the Olympics. Again, overseas.

Felix was in England. He really needed to go overseas, apparently.

Max had moved to Japan awhile ago. Why did he still have his number?

Kagami was also back in Japan. Dammit, maybe he should just move to Japan….

Nathaniel? Maybe. Adrien dialed.

"This number has been disconnected." He hung up. He really should've kept in touch with his classmates more.

That just left Juleka and Rose, who were currently on their honeymoon. And besides, if he called Juleka, no doubt word would get back to—

He glanced down at the name he'd skipped, his pulse quickening even now.

I can't call her. I can't, he pleaded with himself. I can't do it. I'll walk. Or suffer the tabloids and call a cab. Not her. I can't see her. She's finally happy. She's with him. God. I can't see him either. Not like this. I'll break. I'll make a mistake and they'll both hate me! I can't. I can't. I can't….

Against his will, his finger pressed the button.

Forgive me, my lady.

[MARINETTE]

"Thank you," Adrien said as he got in the car. Marinette frowned as it took him a couple tries to get the seatbelt buckled.

"Do you have anyone to watch over you tonight?" she asked.

"Huh?" Adrien looked at her wildly, as though the concept of being taken care of was completely foreign to him.

Knowing his background, it might be.

"You know, someone to stay with you and make sure you're all right?" she clarified. "I don't wanna wake up tomorrow to the headlines screaming that you drowned to death in your own puke."

He grimaced. "As blunt as ever, my lady. And no, or I would've called them instead. But I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've gotten drunk, you know." He tried to give her a winning smile, but his head lolled dangerously when she made a turn.

Marinette pursed her lips. "You're coming home with me," she decided.

"That's a reeeeally baaad…," Adrien groaned, leaning against the window. The hard, upright, blessedly-cool window…. What had he been saying again?

"Adrien, I don't think I trust you to open a door right now, much less put yourself to bed."

"—asking me… sleep with you?" he murmured sleepily.

She glanced at him in amusement. He was already drooling and couldn't even argue coherently. Yeah, no way was she leaving him alone. She punched a number and put her phone on speaker.

"Luka, babe, we've got a problem," she said, taking a right instead of a left.

"You're bringing him home?" her boyfriend asked. She could already hear the grin in his voice.

"Yeah, he's completely wasted."

"I'll make up the couch."

"Thanks, love."

Marinette frowned as she stood over her high school crush, currently snoring on her couch. Adrien had been so out of it, he hadn't even realized this wasn't his apartment. He'd kept asking her why she was at his house, wondering if it was a dream.

The thought made her want to cry. She hadn't known he still dreamed about her.

A strong pair of arms snaked around her shoulders from behind, pulling her close.

"Are we adopting an adorable blond kitten, then?" Luka asked hopefully.

"Look at him," Marinette murmured, leaning back into his touch. "I could count his ribs when he took his shirt off!"

"Mmm, I'm looking. And I think he needs some TLC. Like, a lot," her boyfriend purred.

She snorted in laughter at his playful tone. "You are not propositioning him while he's drunk," she warned.

"Of course not! But if he looks that cute come morning…."

Marinette smiled. Adrien really did look as handsome as ever. Even drunk and drooling. But….

"He shouldn't be that pale," she murmured, stepped forward and out of Luka's embrace to make sure her friend was still breathing. Luka followed her, enjoying the scene in front of him.

"Did you give him some water before he conked out?"

"Of course!"

"He needs you, M," he said softly, watching her run her fingers through the blond's hair. Even unconscious, Adrien whimpered and leaned into her touch. Luka smiled. "I'd dare say he needs me too, but I think it's my need for male companionship while you're at work that's talking."

Marinette rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "You'll get more gigs once summer starts. And we'll see how Adrien reacts when he wakes up before you try anything." She stood, leveling a glare at him. "I mean it, Luka. If you're serious, we need to take this slow. He gets really nervous about relationships."

"For good reason," Luka snorted. Marinette looked away. He sighed. "I meant his current girlfriend, M. She obviously dumped his ass at the club and left."

"Let's… not talk about the past," she said softly, glancing at her old friend again.

"Aww, but I wanted to able to say I've fucked both Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

"Luka!"

"What?" he laughed. "Like you don't like it when I take you in that mask," he teased, reaching out and pulling her closer. Marinette blushed and looked away. He leaned against her hair. "And it's not like my Chat Noir mask hasn't gotten a lot of use too," he murmured in her ear. "Though I would be happy to lend it to him. For old times' sake."

"Luka…," Marinette growled at him.

"And for my sake," he added impishly. "Because I really wanna watch…."

She tried to glare at him, but was unable to keep the smile off her face, even as she playfully pushed him away.