It had started so innocently. And much to her surprise, Weiss had been delighted.

Sure, she hadn't always been the kindest of girls when she shot down Jaune's advances. Why should she have been? She knew what he wanted. Money. Fame. The perks of dating a Schnee. She'd heard it all before back in Atlas. Being courted by dozens of boys from prominent families hoping to win her favor and take a place in her prestigious family. Just as her own father had.

That was why it had come as a shock when Jaune gave up his pursuit of her entirely. When he had not only helped her out by making Neptune come talk to her, but also by replacing the spot she once held in his heart. It had been a pleasant surprise to learn that Jaune and Ruby had bonded over their mutual awkwardness at the dance and decided to give a relationship a shot.

That pleasantness had lasted all but a day before Weiss had a change of heart.

"Ruby, have you tried the peas?" Jaune asked, gazing lovingly into the equally love-struck silver eyes of the girl next to him.

This wasn't anything new. No, after the first time it had gotten very old very fast. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner had become dreaded times of the day for Weiss. Even more so than Professor Port's classes. She knew she wasn't alone in the feeling as well.

"No, Jaune," the redhead replied. "I don't think I've had any. But I'd love to try them."

Of course you would, Weiss thought bitterly. Jaune could ask about Zwei's dog food and you'd love to try it.

"Weeeellll," he smiled. "It just so happens that I have some extra that I wouldn't mind sharing with you."

Weiss looked down to his plate. Sure enough, there was a mountain of peas sitting there.

"I'd be delighted to share your food, Jaune."

"Okay, Ruby," he said as he scooped up a spoonful of the peas. "Say 'aaah'."

Ruby closed her eyes happily and opened her mouth. "Aaah."

With a delicate motion of his wrist, Jaune slipped the spoon inside Ruby's mouth and she clamped it shut. The blissful silence wouldn't last, however, as he slid the utensil out and Ruby began to chew. A pleasurable groan slipped past her lips as her eyes opened again.

Around her, their friends reacted in much the same way Weiss did. Well, some of them at least. Yang and Blake appeared to be struggling to hold back their own disgust at the amorous scene. Pyrrha put on a brave face, but Weiss knew that she probably lamented her lack of action prior to the dance, allowing a far more proactive Ruby to swoop in from under her and put a stranglehold on Jaune's heart. Only Ren and Nora seemed unaffected, the stoic boy calm as always, while Nora's eyes glimmered with thought and possibility as she studied the display.

"Mmm, you were right, Jaune. Those peas are so yummy."

"Yummy, and will help keep my beautiful huntress girlfriend strong and healthy to kill all the Grimm in the world." He slipped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Aww, you're so sweet, Jaune," she cooed. Her eyes drifted to her own plate, and the serene smile she wore widened just a little bit more. "But now that I think of it, you could probably us some extra protein in your diet. You're a strong, growing young man after all."

He smiled back at her warmly. "Only as strong as the woman by my side helping me every day."

"Oh stop it, babe, you're gonna make me blush." As if to emphasize the words, Ruby buried her face against his shoulder where she nuzzled it softly. She remained there for a few seconds before coming back up. "I just so happen to have some chicken left that I'm too full to eat. Your turn now~!" she sang.

Weiss felt her teeth clench as she watched Ruby pluck a strip of white meat off the plate with her fork and held it out tantalizingly close to Jaune's mouth. She slipped it past his teeth and he chomped down to devour it all in one bite. Much like Ruby, a blissful groan sounded in his throat as he chewed it.

"I'm so lucky to have a girlfriend who always has my back," he said happily. "And one who'll feed me free meat. You're a guy's dream come true."

"Always," Ruby agreed. "My man needs his protein to hold me with those big strong arms of his, and I'm happy to provide." Her lips parted, and silver eyes widened in shock. "Uh oh. Looks like you got a little something on your face, Jaune."

The blond boy picked up a napkin and lightly dabbed his cheek. "Did I get it?"

Ruby shook her head. "Nope!" she said just a bit too eagerly. "Here, let me help."

Her partner reached over and planted a short but firm kiss on Jaune's cheek. They had long since gone past the point of embarrassment or hesitation when it came to public displays of affection, much to Weiss' chagrin. Both teens were practically glowing by the time they were staring into each other's eyes again.

"There. I think I got it."

"Thank you, Ruby. You're the best." Jaune's face suddenly fell now. "But it looks like it may have gotten on your face."

"Well we can't have that." The bad acting was palpable in the air. Weiss wanted to scream. "Sadly I don't have a mirror. Mind helping me out?"

"I'd be happy to, Ruby." Jaune leaned in and gave Ruby a loving peck on the cheek now, much to the delight of the younger girl as she beamed happily. Jaune pulled back now, barely able to contain his own grin. "All better."

"Yay!" she softly cheered. "Whoops. Looks like I missed a spot on you though."

Weiss' eye twitched.

"Oh dear. I'd be so lost without you, Ruby."

"Lemme just get that for you," she said as she leaned in closer to kiss Jaune once more.

Weiss snapped, slamming her palms down on the tabletop. "Just use a napkin already!"

The other two teens stopped in their tracks and looked over at Weiss. As did all their friends. As did most of the tables sitting around them.

Weiss closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and regretting her outburst. It was unbecoming of a Schnee to make such a public scene. Regardless of how sickeningly sweet her friends were being.

"I think Weiss and Neptune are having some... relationship issues," Ruby whispered to her boyfriend just a little too loudly.

Jaune frowned. "That's so sad," he whispered back.

The heiress stood up, the decision to flip the table as she did so being thwarted at the last moment by her own sense of pride and dignity. She stomped off in a huff rather than be forced to put up with her friend's disgusting displays of public affection any longer.

Yang had been over the moon when she learned that Ruby's first friend had become her boyfriend. What wasn't there to like about it? Jaune was a kind and caring boy. He had helped out Ruby on their first day at Beacon Academy when Yang herself had shoved her sister into the deep end of the pool and told her to sink or swim. And swim she had, admittedly with a little help from the blond boy.

Yes, Jaune was nice. Safe. Polite. A boy who would never take advantage of her sweet baby sister. Ruby had found another blond in her life who would do anything for her, and would be there to protect and defend the huntress-in-training with his life.

Where had it all gone so wrong?

Sitting here in the library after class, the answer became readily apparent. As always, Ruby and Jaune were seated next to each other. Obnoxiously close. Close enough so that her sister might as well be sitting in the boy's lap.

"I love you, Big Boy," her little sister said lovingly to her tall boyfriend.

"I love you more, Pumpkin Pie," the boy responded to the term of endearment with an equally inane one of his own.

At first it had been cute. The two had begun coming up with pet names for each other, and Yang herself had cooed at the adorable display. Who knew that Ruby had it in her to be such a girly-girl? Yang sure didn't. Not when Ruby's life up until this point had consisted of her love for weapons, slaying Grimm, and becoming a huntress. She never knew her darling baby sister had this side to her.

She wished she had never been forced to find out.

"Nuh uh," the redhead protested. "I love you more, Pudding Pop."

"Impossible," Jaune countered. "My love for you burns hotter than fire dust, Hunny Bun."

Gag. That's all Yang wanted to do when they got into these sorts of discussions. If one could even call them discussions. Professor Port's lessons had more substance to them than these... pet name competitions.

"My love for you is bigger than a Goliath, Lover Boy."

Hey! That was her line!

"Well my love for you is stronger than an Ursa Major, Sweetie Pie."

"Oh yeah? Well my love for you is so strong it shattered the moon, Snugglekins."

If that was true, Yang hoped that their love would destroy Remnant next. She didn't want to live on a world where something so disgusting existed. Not even the Grimm were as foul as Ruby and Jaune's displays of affection.

"My love for you could fix the moon, Angel Eyes."

Seriously. Yang knew that this was Ruby's first boyfriend. That it was young, innocent, teenage love. But this was getting out of hand. Didn't they realize that the rest of them were trying to study? Loathe as Yang was to admit it, she'd much rather do this history homework they had gotten from Dr. Oobleck than listen to them drone on and on about how much they loved each other. It was like something out of a bad young adult romance novel. All that was missing were the vampires and werewolves.

"My love for you could wipe out all the Grimm in the world, Mister Muscles," Ruby shot back.

"That's not even physically possible, Sugar Plum," Jaune shot back lovingly.

"Neither are yours, Vomit Boy."

And in a heartbeat the mood in the room changed. Ruby had gone from a sickening term of endearment back to her very first nickname for the boy. One that didn't exactly carry a positive connotation with it. Or, looking down at her boots, a positive memory for Yang herself.

Jaune almost looked offended when he spoke next. "Crater face."

Uh oh. Yang remembered that one too. From a time when Ruby hadn't exactly been in a good place when it came to her eventual partner. Maybe she should intervene before things escalated...

Ruby's eyes had narrowed before the blonde girl even had a chance to speak. "Nerd!"

Jaune's did the same. "Dork!

"Klutz!"

"Spaz!"

"Dummy!"

"Dolt!"

Yang didn't even care that Jaune had borrowed that last one from Weiss' lexicon. She was too concerned with how both Ruby and Jaune were staring intently into one another's eyes. Was this it? Their first, and perhaps last fight?

The silence in the room was deafening. Seconds ticked by as neither moved. Neither relented. Until...

Ruby and Jaune both burst into laughter, smiling widely as their foreheads came together. They rested there for a moment before both their heads tilted sideways, and they shared a light, loving kiss.

"Love you," Ruby said softly. "Let's never fight again."

"Never again," Jaune echoed. "And I love you more," he continued, beginning the argument all over again.

"Not as much as me, Snuggle Muffin."

"Just as much as you and more, Strawberry Shortcake," he grinned.

"What if we both love each other equally?" she gasped.

Jaune's eyes lit up with child-like wonder. "Like, love you times infinity?"

"Like times infinity plus one!" Ruby exclaimed excitedly.

The two wrapped their arms around one another, squeezing their bodies together so hard that Yang thought for a moment that they might merge with each other like a pair of gelatinous blobs.

"Love you times infinity plus one!" the pair of idiots shouted at the same time even as their cheeks pressed together.

Yang stood up without a word. First boyfriend or not, this was absolutely ridiculous. It wasn't that she was jealous of the fact that no boy had ever treated her like that. She wasn't! But why did her sister have to go flaunting her love and happiness around like that for everyone to see? Didn't Ruby know that people didn't want to see others in perfect, happy relationships? That it wasn't right to show off the fact that you'd found someone so great and special to the rest of the sad, lonely world!

She needed some fresh air. More specifically, fresh air away from the two lovebirds who were threatening to make her lose her lunch and become Vomit Girl herself. Even as she stalked away from the table, the word 'love' continued to be uttered over and over behind her, its noise becoming akin to nails on a chalkboard.

Blake's feline ears laid as flat atop her head as her body did on her bed. The noises coming from just across the small space of her team's dorm room were grating.

A pair of golden eyes tried and failed to focus on the book she was trying to enjoy before bed. Nights in Team RWBY's dorm used to be a quiet, peaceful time. Ruby would read a comic book up in her bunk. Weiss would fuss over her hair in the bathroom. Yang would enjoy some mobile game on her scroll right above her. But now?

"No, you hang up first," the sound of her leader's voice pierced the room.

Fingers gripped the pages of her graphic novel tightly. Focusing on the same scene which she'd been staring at for the past two minutes.

"Nope! You!" Ruby ordered, her light and giggly tone holding zero power to sway anyone to meet her demands.

Blake finally gave up on her reading material, peering over to the other side of the room to see Ruby lying flat on her stomach upon the top bunk. The girl's elbows rested on the pillow, propping up her neck and head as she pressed her scroll to her ear. Legs kicked up and down excitedly as she enjoyed her usual late night conversation with her boyfriend.

Jaune must have said something funny or embarrassing, but not even Blake's set of faunus ears could pick up what it was through the scroll. All she could see was Ruby's reaction as she happily buried her face down into her pillow, stifling a soft, girlish giggle in the process.

"Nuh uh, you have to hang up first!" she insisted. "I did the last time!" A pause as the redhead listened to the boy's response. "Yes I did!"

It was too late to get a new team. That was unfortunate. Things had started out so wonderfully with her team. With her second family. Blake had found a wonderful and caring partner in Yang, who had managed to knock the faunus girl's walls down and show that she truly cared for her. A strong and motivated leader in Ruby who valued justice just as much as the former terrorist. Blake had even befriended Weiss Schnee, and learned that not all humans, and especially not all Schnees, were as terrible as she had been brought up to believe.

Right now, however, Blake wanted out. She wanted to escape from what Ruby had become.

"Jaaaaaaune!" Ruby squealed with no small trace of embarrassment. Her red-tinted face had returned to the pillow, and she shook her head back and forth in its soft comfort to try and deal with whatever lovey dovey thing Jaune had just said to her.

It was good Weiss was in the bathroom doing her own thing. She probably would have exploded with rage by this point. It was a wonder Yang's own had hadn't been set ablaze. Perhaps she was simply getting used to her younger sister's romantic shenanigans.

"Okay, we'll hang up at the same time," Ruby suggested. Blake hoped that Jaune would agree to those terms. The sooner this childish drivel ended the better. "On three." A pause. "No, not after three. Actually on three."

Blake was happy that was cleared up. She would have hated for them to have gone through all that only for them to have to do it all over again because one of the two didn't follow the rules properly.

"Okay. Ready? One. Two... three!"

The faunus girl watched with utter indifference as Ruby did not hang up her scroll. Rather, she held it in front of her face for a moment, staring at it like some sort of beautiful work of art before placing it back against her ear.

"Jaaaaaaaune! You didn't hang up!" she whined accusingly. News flash, Ruby. You didn't either. You both broke the treaty. "That's because I knew you wouldn't!" she argued, undoubtedly in response to Jaune pointing out that she too remained on her scroll. "Ugh, you're the worst!" she laughed.

No. They were both the worst. Perhaps they really were made for each other.

"Well if neither of us hangs up we're going to be up all night!" Blake watched as a stupid grin spread across Ruby's lips. "I wouldn't mind either..." she said in a lower, more bashful tone.

Blake's eyes widened. No. No. No. Absolutely not. She was not going to be stuck all night listening to a pair of lovebirds talking on their scrolls.

"So... whatcha doing?" Ruby asked as she flipped over onto her back now.

Hmm, I wonder, Blake thought sarcastically. Could it be that he's on his scroll across the hall talking to you?

"Me too. Ugh it sucks that it's so late! I wanna see you..."

So do it.

"Yeah, but Yang'll probably tell me I can't." The redhead glanced over at the top bunk across from her own. "And that I shouldn't go out in my pajamas."

Truth be told it wasn't that late. Only around eleven at night. Besides, Yang held no sway over Ruby here. If anything, being leader meant that she could order her older sister around.

"I like your cute bunny pajamas too..." Ruby said softly, threatening to melt into a bubbly mess of girlish glee if her tone was anything to go by.

To Blake's surprise the mattress above her squeaked, and Yang leapt down onto the floor with a dull thump. Clad in her own tank top and sleeping shorts, she strode the last couple steps to go stand beside Ruby's bed.

"Ruby?" the blonde asked forcefully.

"Hold on, Jaune," the other girl said hurriedly before removing the scroll from her cheek. "Yeah?"

"Go see Jaune. Right now."

Silver eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes. Go. Hurry. Run."

Ruby gushed with excitement as she put the scroll back to her face. "Meet me in the hall, Jaune! Let's go get a late night snack from the kitchen!"

Wasting little time, the pajama-clad redhead jumped down from her own bunk an rushed out the door. She didn't even put any slippers or shoes on before she left.

Sweet, blissful silence filled the room. It was disturbed a few seconds later by the opening of the bathroom door. Like a small animal deeming it safe to emerge from its hiding place after a predator had moved on, Weiss stepped back into the room.

"Is it safe?" she asked nervously.

Yang nodded. "Yeah. For now."

A heavy breath slipped from the heiress' lips. She shook her head as she moved over to sit on her own bed. "I can't take any more of this," she admitted.

"I know what you mean," the blonde agreed.

Blake nodded wordlessly.

"I mean, I was happy for her when they got together," Yang continued. "But... I never thought that it'd turn into this. That they'd be like every annoying couple you see on TV and in movies all rolled together in one annoying package."

"It's absurd," Weiss added. "How could two people possibly be so in love?"

"First loves are new and wonderful experiences," Blake explained. "However, the honeymoon phase usually doesn't last nearly as long as it has for those two."

Yang's hands came up to her head to massage her temples. It said quite a lot that her sister and Jaune gave her a headache. "I just- I can't take it anymore! This has to end one way or another."

"End?" Weiss questioned.

The blonde took a deep breath, biting down on her lower lip briefly before continuing. "Guys, I hate to say it, but... for our own sanity..."

Weiss looked at the girl with confusion. Blake had an idea of what was coming next, and held her breath in disbelief.

"I think we need to get them to break up."

There it was. Blake could hardly believe the words had come from the lips of Ruby's own sister, but at this point she was hard-pressed to argue them.

"I find myself reluctantly agreeing," Weiss responded. "Though I find the idea of meddling in other's love lives distasteful, we came to this prestigious academy to become huntresses. Not to find true love."

"What if we could do both?" Blake offered.

"Since when did you become Miss Optimism," Yang questioned her partner.

Blake shrugged. "I'm not. It's just... what if we could find a way for Ruby to be together with Jaune and not be annoying?"

The door suddenly burst open and Ruby skipped back inside. The redhead grabbed her slippers from off the floor and quickly slipped her feet into them. "Man, I was about to go walking around Beacon barefoot!" She gently tapped her head with her knuckles. "I guess having such an amazing and wonderful boyfriend just makes you forget common sense sometimes."

Without uttering another word Ruby left her teammates alone again. After that latest outburst, the tension in the room was palpable.

"Yeah, they need time apart," Yang muttered bitterly.

"I couldn't agree more," Weiss seethed jealously.

Even Blake was left feeling envious of what Ruby and Jaune had. Her own experiences with love had been less than stellar up to this point. And Ruby had the gall to rub it in her face like that? Even if it was completely innocent and unintentional?

"Okay," the faunus agreed. "I'm in."

Yang took a deep breath and nodded. "Good. Tomorrow we'll get to work. Operation Split-Ruby-And-Jaune-Up is green lit."

Author's Note: Just another random Lancaster idea. I really enjoy writing Lancaster now. Nearly as much as White Knight these days...

I hope you all enjoyed this goofy fun. More to come. Will Yang, Weiss, and Blake succeed in breaking up Ruby and Jaune? Find out in the next exciting chapter of Hurts Like Cavities!