Author Notes:

A few months ago I decided to try to write an episode of The Loud House. I know I'll never be able to submit this story to the writers, but it was a fun exercise! I hope you guys enjoy it at least! I tried to stay on character as much as possible for this one. :3

Disclaimer: The Loud House Copyright Nickelodeon (2019)

WHEN YOU WISH UPON A UNICORN

Leni Loud had a question.

Where can she find a unicorn?

She was completely sincere about this. After seeing that cute commercial with a pretty white unicorn on it, a magical unicorn that could grant any wish! That little girl wanted a play set with a princess and a unicorn and a castle! But Leni had a different wish.

She wanted fashion things! Fabrics! Scissors! String! Machines! She wanted to make a fashion EMPIRE!

But first she needed to find a magic unicorn just like the one on TV.

So, she asked Lona and Lala first - or was it - hmm. Oh, you know who she was asking; just the cutest little twins a big sister could ever ask for!

"Uh, I'm cute. Lana's not," Lola tsked.

"Yeeeeah," Lana picked her nose.

"Why are you even talking to me anyway, Leni? You know I watch Disney's Princess Power Hour right now, and I won't miss it for another one of your silly questions!"

Leni picked them both up, squeezing them into a tight hug; yet again surprising no one at how insanely strong she was.

"I'm looking for a unicorn! A magic unicorn. Do you know where I can find one?"

Lola looked at Lana. Lana looked at Lola. Then, both doubled over in laughter. Lola slapping her knee and leaning against the wall; Lana getting laugh-drunk and stepping on a banana peel and slipping out the open front door.

Leni grimaced, then looked bored, then sighed.

"Well, guess I'm Luan now... and I still don't get it."

Discouraged, but not ready to give up, she climbed the stairs in search of another sibling to answer her question.

"Na-nanana-na! NAAAA!"

She heard Luna belting sick chords from her bedroom, so she went over to the doorway and peered inside.

"Hey, Mr. Coconuts! What do you call a sneaky girl that's peeking through the door?"

"A Peeping Jane?"

Luan gasped, "That's a little risque for a K-rated story, don't you think?"

Mr. Coconuts glared at her, then shook his head.

"Well, it was clean until you made it sound otherwise."

Leni watched the two bicker back and forth and she smiled. Surely if Luan knew where to find a talking puppet, then she would know where to find a magical unicorn!

"Hey, Luan! Can I ask you a question?"

Luan giggled, "Don't you mean 'may?'"

Leni tilted her head.

"Who's May?"

On her side of the room, Luna did a short drum sting.

Luan blinked, "Uh, nevermind! That joke was a little flat. Now, what's your question?"

Leni smiled happily and started bouncing on her toes, holding her hands behind her back.

"Yee! So! I'm looking for something really important, and Lexx and Leif didn't help much-"

Luan looked at Luna; Luna shrugged; Luan looked back at Leni.

"-so if you could just tell me where to find a magical unicorn, I'd be, like, so happy!"

Leni beamed.

Luan tried holding in her laughter, but soon she was overcome by a fit of giggles.

Leni frowned, "Aww I really am becoming Luan!"

She felt a hand touch her shoulder, and she turned to look at Luna.

"Don't sweat it, luv. You just haven't asked the right person yet. We dunno any unicorns, but I bet Lynn might."

Leni's hope was restored by this token of advice, and she hugged her sister before hurrying off.

In the room next door, Leni found Lucy and Lynn doing their own things. Lynn was doing pushups while holding a barbell between her teeth. Lucy was in the middle of brewing a magical potion in her cauldron-

"Ooooh! Are you doing magic, Lupa?"

"Sigh. My name is Lucy. And yes, I am."

Leni squee'd, "Yeee! Then, you can help me! I'm looking for magic!"

Lucy's body stopped mid-motion as she was dropping some dried herbs into her pot, turning her head toward Leni.

Was it possible? Was another family member finally interested in the occult?

"Do you want to make a love potion? Learn how to transmute Lori's farts into expensive perfumes?"

Lynn snorted, "What the heck kind of person would want to-"

She was interrupted by a knock at the front door, which was answered by Mrs. Loud.

"Hi, Mrs. Loud! Is Lincoln here? I want to sure him my new- Wait, is that- L-L-L-L-L-Lori?"

Leni shook her head.

"Nope! I'm actually looking for a creature. A magical creature."

"A werewolf? A faerie? A witch!?"

"Nope!"

"Then, what is it!? Tell me!"

Leni giggled, not surprised at how uncommonly excited Lucy was to help her. She had the best sisters ever!

"A unicorn!"

Like a popped balloon, Lucy instantly deflated.

"You're looking for a magic unicorn?"

Leni nodded, like, a whole lot.

"Mhm, just like the one on TV!"

Lucy sulked over her cauldron and finally released her hand, letting the herbs fall into her potion.

"Sigh. Ask Lynn for help. I'm busy."

"Ok! Lynn, would you help me? Please?"

She started doing these cute puppy dog eyes just like Charles does when he's been an extra good boy and he wants a really yummy treat.

Lynn tried to resist, looking away, pumping more iron, but kept turning back to Leni and those eyes - those eyes just wouldn't go away! So round, watery, pathetic!

"Ugh! Fine! I'll help you find your stupid unicorn! Just stop doing that!"

"Yaaay!"

Leni swooped in and hugged Lynn, who was right in the middle of hoisting a three hundred pound barbell over her head.

"Wait- Leni!"

Lynn was crushed to Leni's chest, and the barbell dropped right on top of Leni's head - making a dull thomp sound, like when you tap on a hollow, plastic ball.

Leni sat her sister down and then just stood there.

Lynn was staring at her, too. Mostly her head. Where the barbell was still resting atop Leni's blonde hair.

"Uh, are you alright?"

"Yep! I'm totes ok!"

Lynn's mouth was agape, "Uh, do you know you've got something in your hair?"

Leni blinked, and then horror crossed her face.

"IS THERE A SPIDER IN MY HAIR!?"

She started flipping out, running her hands everywhere, completely mangling her hair up into knots and frizzy messes.

Soon, the heavy barbell fell to the ground, and Leni stopped.

"Ohhhh!"

She reached down and picked it up with one hand, with no effort at all.

"Here, Lucy! One of your bats landed in my hair!"

Lynn deadpanned, "That's not a bat, that's my-"

"But it's black just like a bat?"

"Yes, but-"

"And it's long and swingy!"

Leni demonstrated by bending her knees, holding it upright and pretending to hit some home runs.

"Pew! Pew!" she added sound effects for every hit.

Lynn just stared at her, too dumbfounded to know what to say.

"Just lay it on my bed and let's go."

"Ok!"

And she tossed it onto Lynn's bed. But the weight and the force of gravity were too much, and the floor collapsed, creating a giant whole that swallowed up the bed, bat-bell, and everything with it.

Lynn cringed, "Oh geez."

"LYNN LOUD JUNIOR! THAT'S THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

Leni grimaced, gave a sheepish smile, and started to back away.

"I'm sorry, Lynn! I promise! Once I find a unicorn I'll wish your room to be fixed and for you to be ungrounded! You can totes count on me!"

Now, in the hallway, Leni wasn't sure who to go to. Lincoln was trying to revive Clyde, so she shouldn't bother him. Lori was trying to wash some ketchup stains out of her new white slippers. Eek! That must be really bad... She better not bother Lori.

Hmm.

"Hello, older sister unit, I see you are pondering a conundrum. May I offer my help?"

Leni looked down and smiled.

"Sure! I'm looking for a magical unicorn. Do you know where I can find one?"

Lisa pushed her glasses back up her nose.

"No, I sadly do not, since they do not exist. However, I can show you where to find a dinosaur?"

"Ohhh!"

"Right this way."

Lisa led her into her room, where a portal was waiting to transport her into the distant past.

"Oh. Em. Gosh! Is that a TV!?"

"Uh, suuure, why not?"

"Yeee!"

"Now, just step inside and-"

Leni squealed with giggles as she leaped inside the TV-portal-thingy, leaving the room and the current timeline, in search of her unicorn.

Lisa leaned back and smiled.

"Absolutely nothing could go wrong."

Suddenly a claw stuck through the portal.

"Huh, that was much quicker than I-"

She was cut off by the sudden entrance of a whole freaking T-rex standing in her room. Its size destroyed her corner of the house. Its head broke through the ceiling and walls. Lisa fell down onto the grass and looked up with a shocked face to see her sister, Leni, riding on the giant predator's head.

And right on its snout was an overturned ice cream cone.

"LISA! I FOUND IT! A MAGICAL UNICORN!"

The great beast roared so loud the windows shattered, and the whole family came and watched in horror as Leni went off and made her every wish come true.