Disclaimer: not mine as usual
Chapter Nine
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~ Fili ~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
It was late morning and Fili was outside sitting on the porch with his mother each of them holding one of the twins, while watching his brother throw a ball for Godzilla and Ragnar who were more than happy with the attention since both Marlie and Astryd were visiting Eileen.
"Are you happy here?" Dis asked as she held Vali, a gently smile on her face as she looked down at the child and pulled the blanket more securely around him. "Does this place make you happy."
To Fili that was a hard question to properly answer, he's found happiness here in this world and this land of Montana with Charlie and their children and their pets but it does not mean that he's feeling the kind of happiness that his mother is talking about. He misses Erebor, he misses the friendships of the dwarves from the quest, he misses being around other dwarves like himself, he wished that he could tell people the truth of who he was rather than having to lie because people of Earth would not understand. He does not want to explain to people that he was really in his eighty's even though he looked around a thirty year old human, he didn't want his children to have a hard life simply because they were part dwarf and would live longer than everyone else here in this land, he didn't want them to have to hide who they were and lie for the rest of their lives. But with how this world worked, it simply wasn't possible to do any of those things unfortunately.
"I am happy with my family." Fili finally answered.
That wasn't the answer that Dis had wanted to hear, she wanted to hear that her son was genuinely happy here in this world not the half answer that she had received. "You do not like it here." She stated knowingly, looking into her son's blue eyes that matched her own.
Fili sighed as he readjusted Vivika in his arms and shook his head, "I did not want to come here in the first place, I did not want to stay here when that light brought me here but there was no choice in the matter. My choice had been taken from me and I was forced to stay here and create whatever life I could." He explained to her and then looked at his two newborn children before staring out at the sea of tree's that surrounded his and Charlie's home. "As much as I don't like this world it does not mean that I'm not thankful that I came here, coming here brought me to Charlie and gave me four children and that is something I will never regret. But I miss home. I even miss political meetings with the other lords around Erebor – even with the elves." He said to her. "That's simply how desperate I miss it all."
Dis understood what he meant, it was similar to how she felt when Erebor had first fallen and now, she was feeling it all again now that she was faced with the possibility that she and her family may not be able to go back to Middle-Earth. Fili has been in this world for almost seven years without the blue light ever showing again, so who is to say that it will ever appear again to allow them home and even if it did appear again there is no telling what Fili will do. Without a doubt Dis could tell that Fili missed Middle-Earth and home, but he had a wife and children to think about and this world is all that Charlie and their children had ever known. If Charlie really did not wish to come to Middle-Earth Dis knew that her son would make that sacrifice for his wife, that he would sacrifice the chance to return to Middle-Earth to make sure she was happy. It saddened her because she desperately wanted him home and made her proud at the same time that he thought so much of Charlie's happiness. It was a double-edged sword so to say.
"Would you stay if Charlie asked you?" Dis questioned and smiled when she saw Kili get tackled by the two dogs he was playing 'fetch' with, as Fili called it.
Hearing that Fili gave a big sigh, "I –"
Before Fili was able to answer that question, Charlie walked out onto the porch and looked at the two with an unreadable expression. Fili knew without a doubt that his wife more than likely heard what him and his mother had just been talking about which made him cringe a bit, he didn't want Charlie to hear it and feel guilty for more than likely wanting to stay in her own world. He was about to say something to her about what she heard but she spoke before he had a chance.
"We're going to be going to Middle-Earth – soon." Charlie said seriously as she took Vali from Dis who was fussing in her arms. "Can't you feel it?" she questioned as she looked at the two and latched her son onto her so that he could feed while making sure her nursing top covered everything.
"Feel what?" Dis asked curiously as she looked up at Charlie with a furrowed brow.
"The magic." Charlie answered simply. "I felt it that day that Fili and those Orc's appeared, and then again when you guys appeared last night. It's still in the air, not as strong but its still there." She told them seriously. "The closer you get to where you guys appeared the stronger the feeling of magic gets."
Charlie had been outside earlier that day after she woke up for the second time and took a walk to get some fresh air after being locked up in the house for however many hours, that's when she realized that the magic that brought Fili's family to them was still there. It had dissipated from what it originally was but it was still there, anyone with half a brain would be able to feel it once they got close enough. Once Charlie realized that, realized that the magic was still there she knew that she was going to make sure Fili and their family made it back to Middle-Earth no matter what the price was. After everything Fili has been through and seen, both in Middle-Earth and on Earth, after everything he had to sacrifice and had to give up – things that made Fili who he was and that was apart of his Dwarven culture. After all of that there was no doubt in Charlie's mind that everyone would be going back to Middle-Earth, even the animals.
"We need to get things ready for when it happens." Charlie stated evenly, sounding as if she was talking about the weather and not going to a completely different world that was vastly different from her own.
"Charlie, you need to think about this!" Fili hissed at her as he stared into her dark brown eyes, urging her to not make a rash decision.
"I have." She replied softly, a simple smile on her face as she looked at him. "I have thought about this Fili."
Fili shook his head in frustration as Charlie moved Vali from feeding to over her shoulder so that she could burp him, "I don't think you have, because if you had you would not be so calm about this sort of decision." He said to her.
Hearing that Charlie narrowed her eyes at him, "Don't you dare think that I haven't considered everything, that I haven't gone through all of the fucking emotions possible over this decision because I have." She hissed angrily as Thorin and Dwalin joined them on the porch, both of whom eyed Fili and Charlie hesitantly as they noticed the tense situation. "I'm a big girl Fili, I can think and make decisions all on my own. No need for someone to tell me what to think, shocking I know." She said to him scathingly. "You've apparently forgotten that I know how to think."
"What's going on?" Dwalin asked as he looked between Fili and his wife who seemed to be glaring at him with all the fires in mount doom.
"There's a way for you all to go home possibly," Fili replied as he looked away from Charlie angrily, his lips pursing at how frustrated he was with her. "The magic is still there, its not gone like we first thought."
Dwalin smiled at that, "That is good news!" he stated loudly, a grin on his face. "We will be able to go back to our kingdom."
"Exactly." Charlie replied, a snooty grin on her face as she looked at Fili.
"Charlie has decide that we're all going there." Fili replied testily, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Without considering what she's giving up."
Hearing that Thorin looked at her, "You wish to give up with world for ours?" he asked.
"Yeah, of course."
Fili glared at his wife and abruptly stood from his chair and began to pace back and forth on the porch and grasp at his hair in utter frustration at Charlie, at how blasé she was being about the situation and about the thought of leaving Earth. He did not think that she really realized what she was giving up and what would not be available there to do.
"Why are you so damn stubborn and hardheaded?" Fili asked rhetorically as he narrowed his eyes at her.
"Me?" Charlie asked offended, ignoring the amused looks of the others which now included Kili who had come to join everyone when his uncle had come outside. "Look who's talking, like you're not? No need to be a damn hypocrite Fili." She retorted back at him, wishing that she could cross her arms but she had a baby in her arms still. "I've thought about this and you're not going to change my mind Fili. I know what I want and what I want to do and if the chance arises, we're going to Middle-Earth."
Watching Fili and Charlie fight made Thorin remember his brother in law and his sister arguing, both just as stubborn as each other and hard headed on top of that with a sharp tongue. Fili and Charlie were basically mirroring them and it was amusing to see and sad at the same time, if his brother in law was alive still he would be rolling on the ground laughing in amusement at the situation.
"I know what I'm sacrificing Fili, don't think I don't." Charlie hissed at him. "I'd be leaving my mom, my career, the few friends I have and my sister and her family. But they aren't who are important to me anymore and haven't been for almost seven years – you are, you and our kids. We need to do what's best for the kids Fili and this world, this place isn't what is best for them." She admitted and slowly stepped towards Fili and pulled him to her by grabbing a handful of his shirt and tugging. "This place isn't for them, this place may be familiar but it's not where they belong especially not once they get older. I may have a normal life span of a human, but you and the kids don't. You all could live to almost two hundred and fifty years or something?" she asked to which Dis gave a nod to her questioning look. "They'll never have a normal life, they'll never be able to have a family without explaining that they're actually dwarves who live twice as long as a human. I don't want them to have to live in a world where they will have to lie everyday of their lives just to not reveal what they are. It's not fair to them."
"Charlie." Fili said sadly at what she revealed and what she was willing to sacrifice for him and their children. "I don't want you to regret this."
"Its what we need to do." Charlie replied. "For them."
It was when Charlie said those words that it really solidified for Dis that Charlie was truly apart of their family, of course she was from the moment she married Fili and gave birth to her first child but this really sets it into stone. Any woman who would sacrifice her own happiness and the only home she'd ever known just to be sure that her children had the best life that they possibly could, and that would do anything to be sure they could grow up as normal as possible was worthy of being called more than just family. A human woman making a sacrifice like this was relatively unheard of in Middle-Earth, unfortunately most of the humans that Dis had ever come across had mostly been self-centered, egocentric and power hungry humans. None who were like Charlie.
"Please Fili, believe me. This is what we need to do for our family." Charlie told him.
Fili closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before he nodded, "Okay, okay Charlie." He replied before he leaned down and kissed her forehead before moving down to kiss Vali on the forehead as well.
It killed Fili to let his wife make a sacrifice such as this, to give up everything and everyone that she's ever known to come to a relatively unknown world that she's only ever read about. A world that is going to be nothing like reading about it, he knew Charlie read books on Middle-Earth and knew that there were dangers there – Orcs, Goblins, Wild Men, Etc – but it was going to be different than experiencing it first hand and he just would hate for her to regret it once she was faced with those kind of dangers first hand. Fili didn't want to see Charlie struggle with adjusting to life in Middle-Earth, especially the life of someone who was apart of the Royal family so to say with all of the requirements and expectations.
"There's Eileen." Fili said breaking the silence that had settled after the argument between him and Charlie.
Looking up from where she was leaning against Fili, Charlie saw the familiar car of Eileen's coming down the long driveway with both Marlie and Astryd in the backseat. Smiling, Charlie handed off Vali to the closest person which ended up being Dwalin who looked panicked when she settled her son into his arms but she didn't give him time to even argue against holding the baby before she made her way down the stairs of the porch to greet Eileen and the girls.
"AMAD!"
"ADAD!"
While Charlie and Fili walked down to greet the older woman and the children Dis and the others just stared in amazement at the two girls that were getting out of the odd contraption that came down the road – a form of transportation Fili had said. Dis had seen the pictures in her son and daughter in laws home but it was nothing on seeing her grandchildren in person, they were even more beautiful than she imagined they would be. The elder one looked just like Charlie, she had curls just like her mother did only less defined and a color more like Fili's, she had dark eyes from what she could see and it even looked as if she had a playful glint in her eyes which Dis now knew was a trait she gained from her mother. The younger one still had the cute chubbiness of a baby, and had curls more like her mother and the same coloring too, but her eyes had the blue color of Fili. Seeing them in person made Dis want to cry all over again, she could not believe how grateful she was to see them and to have her son back in her life once more and not forever be wondering what might have happened to him.
"Eileen this is Fili's family," Charlie said as she held Astryd's hand and approached the porch where everyone was seated. "His mother Dis, his brother Kili, his uncle Thorin and their family friend Dwalin." She said introducing them.
At that Eileen took on a shocked look as she looked from the two young adults whom she thought of as her own children at times and to the family that were standing in front of her, "It is wonderful to meet you." She said with a genuine smile on her face as she looked at Charlie and back at them. "Charlie had said that you all thought that Fili was dead and that the place you lived is far removed with very little modern convenience." She said to them. "It's a miracle you were able to find one and another."
It was Thorin who answered, "Yes, we are very grateful to find one and another."
"A great miracle." Dwalin agreed gruffly as he still held Vali in his arms, feeling more and more awkward by the minute, not that the modern clothes that Fili and Charlie had forced him and the others into that morning didn't make him already feel odd and out of place.
Both Marlie and Astryd hid behind their mother once they saw the strangers on the front porch of their house, they were strangers and the two big old men looked scary and mean. They didn't want to be around mean and scary people. But their mom and dad seemed to not be afraid of them and said that they were family somehow, so the two tried to not be afraid but it was hard.
"Marlie, Astryd." Fili said to his daughters, crouching down to their height so that he could talk to them softly. "You know how I've told you about my family from far away."
"The people who you cant see ever again." Marlie responded looking at her dad and then looking around his shoulder at the strange people.
Fili nodded, "Yes, I thought I would never see my family again but they are here. This is my family and I'd like to introduce you two to them. Is that okay? Would you like to meet your grandmother? And your new siblings?"
"We 'ave Gama?" Astryd asked, looking up into Fili's bright blue eyes with childlike wonder.
"Yes, more than just a grandma." Fili said and picked Astryd up in his arms and held his free hand out to Marlie to hold onto and brought them over to where his family was so that he could officially introduce everyone.
Thorin knew he was an intimidating person, many people have told him so before and it was something he tended to pride himself on but this was one of the situations where he tried his best to look as little intimidating as he possibly could. He did not wish to scare of his nephew's children.
"This is your grandma, my mother." Fili said as he stopped in front his mother and then gestured to the baby that she was holding. "And this is your new baby sister Vivika." He explained.
Dis smiled softly at the children and then carefully crouched down to their level so that they could have a look at their sister, "Hello my loves, I'm your grandma and I know you just met me but I just want you all to know that I love you so much already." She said to them with a smile.
Astryd grinned widely and threw her arms around Dis in a hug, trying to be careful about her new baby sister that she was holding. "Gama! You made of love." She said to her and then let her go and looked down at her sister. "She's so pretty."
"Just like you."
Fili smiled at the interaction and then gestured for Thorin, Kili and Dwalin to come over to them, "This is my uncle Thorin, and my brother Kili who is your uncle, and this is Dwalin a close friend." He said introducing them. "And Dwalin is holding your baby brother Vali."
"Another!" Marlie said in shock looking at the baby in the big man's arms and then at her dad. "Two?"
At that Fili laughed, "Yes, we had twins." He told her.
Thorin looked down at the two girls, "It is a pleasure to meet you two." Thorin said as he crouched down and then kissed each of the girls hand, making them giggle and give small smiles at that.
"You're silly!" Marlie said with a smile on her face.
Kili didn't even hesitate to sit down right in front of the two girls, "I'm going to be the best uncle you two have ever imagined," he said to them with a wide playful grin on his face as he looked the two over. "We're going to be the best of friends and do all of the things your parents say we can't do or is too dangerous."
Marlie looked at him for a moment, as if she was challenging him to a staring contest, and then suddenly burst into a wide grin that made her look very much like her mom. "You're so much better than David, he was a boring uncle. But you're fun!" she said and wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug and then kissed his cheek before fliting back to her spot.
Astryd on the other hand let go of her dad and slowly made her way over to Kili and consequently tripped over her own feet landing face first onto the ground, doing his best to not laugh at his niece's expense Kili helped the girl up and was soon engulfed in a hug by the small girl. "Hi! You can play barbies with me later." She said and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek before settling herself in his lap where he was sitting.
It was then that Charlie had come back over from talking with Eileen and smiled in amusement at Fili, "I see she has claimed you." She smirked in amusement. "You'll never get rid of her now." She stated.
"Good, I don't want to." Kili said as he wrapped his arms around his niece in a tight hug which made her giggle. "She even said I could play barbies with her later."
Unable to help herself Charlie gave a small laugh, "High praise, not just anyone gets to play with barbies you know." She said to him and looked down at her daughter. "Not even I get to play with them all that often."
It was later that night and Charlie had just gotten done changing and feeding Vivika, it was when she came down stairs that she saw the cutest sight that she's ever seen in her life. Thorin was asleep on the couch with his feet stretched out in front of him and his head thrown back against the back of the couch and in his arms was Vali who looked more than content where he was, laying against his side was Marlie who was giving small snores off, and beside her was Kili who had Astryd sprawled against his chest with a barbie clutched in her hand and a barbie also hanging loosely from Kili's hand.
Charlie very quietly made her way to the entryway and grabbed her Instax camera – basically a polaroid camera – and snapped a few pictures of the sight in front of her. When they go back to Middle-Earth she didn't want to forget moments like this, of the family just relaxing together and feeling comfortable enough to fall asleep near one and another. And besides, she doubt Thorin has ever looked or been this relaxed as he has been while he's been here on Earth.
"Quite the sight, isn't it." Fili said from behind her, wrapping his arms around his wife and resting his head on her shoulder as he looked at his uncle and brother with his two eldest daughters. "I've never seen Thorin like this before, I think the girls are good for him. I just hope when we get back that this continues, that he isn't so serious and stern all of the time." He said softly.
"I hope so too." Charlie said to him and turned her head just so and pressed a light kiss to Fili's lips. "We need to start packing the important things and have everything ready when it comes time to leaving."
Fili nodded in agreement, there were some things from this modern world that he knew his wife and kids would like to bring and needed time to make sure everything they wanted to bring was with them before they left. There was only once chance from what he understood, so they needed to be ready when the time came. He wanted his wife to have time to grab mementos of her time on Earth and the life she had.
"What are you going to tell your family?" he questioned.
At that Charlie shook her head and gave a small shrug, being careful to not wake Vivika up. "I…I don't know yet. I don't think there is anything that I can say that they will really believe. I feel like saying hey I'm moving to Middle-Earth won't really go over well but saying nothing won't help either, they'll keep on searching for me if I just disappear." She said and gave a heavy sigh. "But I can't just leave them hanging, I need to tell them something."
"I know," Fili said and looked at her sadly. "I wish there was a way so that you may still stay in communication with them, so that you wouldn't be completely cut off but there is nothing able to do so." He said regretfully, hating that his wife would go through the pain that he had when he had first arrived on Earth.
"I know, and I also know that you would sacrifice anything for me, that you would forget about your happiness to make sure I got what I wanted. That you would sacrifice ever seeing your home again just to make sure I was happy." She said to him and turned and laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes for a moment. "I know you'd sacrifice everything for me, that you'd give me the world and the stars if it was a possibility. And I will love you forever for being like that but it's my turn to make a sacrifice Fili. I love you."
"And I love you."
Once Charlie and Fili had put Marlie, Astryd and twins to sleep, hopefully the twins stayed asleep for at least a few hours, Charlie decided to go outside for a while to get some alone time while Fili spent some much-needed time with his brother. Charlie loved Fili and knew he would always be there for her but right now she didn't want to tell him what she was thinking and going through, she wanted him to be happy and to have time to reconnect with his family without having to worry about her. She didn't want him to end up staying on Earth because she was emotional about leaving everyone and everything behind, Charlie realized how big this sacrifice was that she was making for herself and her children and she knew that she was losing a lot and gaining only a little back. Even if she knew in her heart it was what was best, it didn't mean that it wasn't hard.
"Hi mom," Charlie said into her phone while sitting on the stairs of the porch, she wanted to talk to her mom at least one last time before she would never have the chance to again.
"Charlotte!" her mother said happily at hearing from her so soon. "How are you? I didn't think I would hear so soon from you after giving birth." She said to her with a hint of concern in her voice. "Shouldn't you be resting?"
At that Charlie gave a sad laugh, "You don't get much sleep with twins." She pointed out to her. "Vivika likes to wake up in the middle of the night and then stay up for an hour or two before finally going back to sleep." She told her.
"Fili helps, right?" her mom asked.
"Of course," she said with a smile. "Did you get the video and pictures I sent you?" she asked.
"I did! Printed them out already too." Her mom said happily, she could tell that there was a smile on her mom's face from the tone she used. "They are adorable, they both look so much like you and Fili. I can't believe that none of the doctors figured out you were having twins." She said to her.
Charlie gave a small smile, "I know, right. I thought I was big but didn't think I was big enough for twins. But at least I know why I gained more this pregnancy than the others." She said to her and turned around suddenly when she heard the front door open and saw Thorin walking out onto the porch, she gave a smile at him and gestured for him to join her if he wanted to. "Its definitely been an adjustment period."
Her mom was silent on the other line for a moment, "You know if I could've I would have come out there to help you." She said to her sincerely. "I really wish I could have, but with work and being tight on money right now it just wasn't possible."
"I know mom, I know you would have." Charlie said sadly, a downcast expression on her face as she looked down at her freshly painted toenails that she had Marlie help her with when the twins had been taking a nap after a feeding. "Shit happens." She said and heard an amused snort from Thorin.
Charlie made sure to take as many pictures and video's as she could of herself, Fili, and the twins and the girls once they came home so that she could send them all to her mom so that she had something of them for when they left. She felt guilty that her mom would never have a chance to see Vali or Vivika in person and would only have the pictures that she sent her on her phone and that she was taking with her Instax camera that she had – she deserved more. But with the situation, Charlie living in Montana and her mom back in Minnesota, it was the least she could do since she would be leaving Earth for Middle-Earth with no way to explain her and her family's sudden disappearance. She wanted to leave something behind for her at least.
"Mom," Charlie said after a few moments of silence. "I love you, you know."
"I know you do, is something wrong Charlie?" Her mom asked her in concern.
Charlie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "No, nothings wrong promise. Probably just emotional from having the twins and all that. And I guess just realizing how much you really did for me growing up, being a single mom and working all the time and doing what you could to make sure I was able to do the things I wanted to. I just….I just want you to know how much I appreciate it and love you for everything." She said to her, willing herself to not cry.
"I love you to Charlie, more than all the stars in the sky and all the sands in the sea." Her mom said to her causing Charlie to laugh a bit at that.
"I haven't heard you say that in years, not since I was a kid." Charlie told her.
Her mom chuckled, "And it's still true since the moment I ever said that to you." She told her sincerely. "I love you Charlie, you, Fili, and all of the kids."
After that Charlie and her mom said their goodbyes, which took another few minutes to do and then once Charlie had hung up the phone she gently set the phone down beside her and sighed heavily to herself. She hated how unfair this was, how unfair life was and how much it sucked that she would never get to see her mom again, or her sister who she still wanted to be able to reconcile with at some point, and that she wouldn't get to see her niece grow up and have a life of her own. That Eileen would no longer be able to be a step-in grandma for her kids, that all of the people who she considered friends she would no longer get to see again and that she wouldn't be able to give any of them a good explanation on why she and her family just up and disappeared. God, Charlie wished desperately that there was a way for her to be able to come and go from Earth and Middle-Earth but that simply wasn't the reality of the situation. No matter how much she loved her home, the life she created, her career, her family and friends the most important people to her now were her kids and Marlie, Astryd, Vali and Vivika needed to grow up in Middle-Earth. It is what is best for them.
"Good evening Charlotte." Thorin greeted, looking at his niece in law.
"Hi." Charlie said shortly, distracted by everything that was on her mind at the moment and trying to figure out what was the best course of action.
Thorin moved from the porch couch that he was sitting on to join Charlie on the steps that she was sitting on and just sat there in silence with her for a few minutes, letting her think through all of the emotions that she was feeling after talking with her mother on that odd contraption that he had seen both Fili and Charlie use a few times. An odd modern device of this world that is used for communication.
As Thorin observed Charlie from the corner of his eye he felt sympathy for what shew as going through and what she was sacrificing, he could tell that it was all taking a toll on her but she was doing her best to hide it from everyone else, especially the children of the household.
"I'm sorry Charlotte." Thorin said suddenly to the woman.
Charlie looked away from the ground and up to Thorin with a confused look on her face at his statement, "Sorry? Sorry for what?" she questioned.
Thorin gave a slight sigh before looking at her intently, "For disrupting the life that you've created here with Fili and the children. You have built a life with Fili, you have a home together with children and both have your own crafts that you do to support yourselves but we've come and interrupted that. Neither of you thought that Fili would ever have the chance to come back to Middle-Earth, you thought him stuck here and did your best to help him adjust to life here and making sure he felt as if he was contributing and then we appeared, changing everything." He said and paused a moment as he looked through the window of the house and could see Fili and Kili talking. "You are giving up so much, sacrificing so much for Fili's happiness, for your children's well-being. You didn't even hesitate to make the decision to come to Middle-Earth, a place that does not have nearly the technology that you have here or the convenience of these contraptions of yours – talking to someone who is many leagues away." He said gesturing to her cell phone. "I'm sure that it was not easy to decide as such."
For Charlie it hadn't been an easy decision, since she could sense the magic still lingering in the air – diluted but still there – she had been thinking on what she would do if it was possible for them to return to Middle-Earth. It was the hardest thing she's ever done, other than making end of life decisions for her dad while he was dying in the hospital. Charlie loved her modern conveniences and technology; she loved splurging on herself and getting Frappuccino's from Starbucks when she's near one, she loves Target way too much for her own good, she liked playing video games when she had a chance to, she loved writing on her computer and listening to music on YouTube and all the modern things a Millennial enjoyed. So when she realized what was more than likely going to happen, that the blue light thing would come back and be able to get them back to Middle-Earth Charlie knew that she would have to give a lot up to be sure her children would have the best life that they could, that they would be able to feel like normal kids and wouldn't have to hide who and what they were from the world. She knew things wouldn't be easy in Middle-Earth of course, Fili told her the history and strife of the land and with the dwarves and other races and knew that not everyone liked the dwarves, just like not everyone liked the elves or humans. But, being in Middle-Earth would be better for the kids than having them on Earth, they wouldn't feel strange for being shorter than almost everyone and wouldn't start to wonder why they only looked like they were twenty something when they were actually in their seventies.
"I wish I was a selfish person." Charlie said to Thorin, turning her dark brown eyes up to his blue colored ones, her emotions showing easily through her eyes.
When she looked at him like that, her torrent of emotions showing clearly on her face, Thorin had the urge to pull her to his side and embrace her as if she was his own child and not just his nephew's wife.
Shaking his head at his thoughts Thorin looked at her in concern, "Why would you wish such a thing?" he asked incredulously at her admission.
"It would be easier then." Charlie told him matter of factly. "It would be easier to do all of this if I was selfish and didn't care about other people's feelings, if I was self centered." She stated with a desolate tone of voice. "I would be able to tell Fili that we're staying and I know without a doubt that he would do it because it would make me happy and he loves me that much, I would be able to keep the kids here and not care that they would have a hard life growing up being that they are half-dwarf and would have am extended life. I wouldn't care that as they got older it would be harder and harder for them to live a normal life, to have friends, to have a family and a love life because no matter what they would live longer than everyone they knew. I could be selfish and not think of all of those things and stay here." She said and glanced behind her and through the window and saw Fili laughing along with Kili and could see Dis shaking her head at the two. "I can't do that though."
Charlotte may have reminded Thorin so much of his sister when she was younger, she had the stubbornness, hardheadedness, and fierceness that was the epitome of his sister but Charlotte still was her own person. Charlotte was doing something for the betterment of her family and it was hurting her because that would mean she would leave everything she knew behind for a strange world, she would be leaving her family behind who she loved dearly and would not be able to contact ever again and that had to pain her heart to do such a thing. Thorin did not envy Charlotte in the least and wished there was a way for him to help her or ease her decision but there wasn't, no matter what way you looked at it this would not be an easy thing for her.
"If you were such a person I do not believe you would have taken Fili in as you did when he had first arrived here, you would not have allowed him into your house let alone into your heart as you have." Thorin told her gently, a small smile on his face as he looked down at the young woman beside him. "Mahal would not have deemed you his One if you were such a person and I am grateful that you are not, you are perfect being the person you are. You would not have the life you have now if you were any different from the person you are now."
"Ugh," Charlie said loudly, pulling her hair over one shoulder and taking on a small pout on her face. "I hate this, I hate how guilty I feel for doing this to my family and then I feel guilty for wanting to be selfish and staying here. I wish I could have both." She said and took a deep breath. "And god, I'm so terrified about going to Middle-Earth."
"We will not let anything happen to you, the moment you were introduced as Fili's wife we've begun to care for you deeply and wouldn't let anything untoward happen to you." Thorin told her seriously, making sure she knew that she would be protected and cared for.
At that Charlie gave a small laugh, "That, I know and I'm very thankful for that." She told him and looked over at the dogs who were sleeping on the opposite side of the porch from where she and Thorin were seated. "That's not what scares me. What scares me is living in Middle-Earth, being apart of your family and dwarven society. I'm a human, anybody with eyes will be able to see that. I know that the dwarves are secretive, Fili's told me stories and taught me as much as he could, so I do know how you people feel about outsiders. I'm going to be considered an outside, someone that they won't trust." She pointed out to him. "I don't want you guys to suffer because I'm Fili's One and his wife, I don't want your people to look down on you because of me. Not to mention Fili is the heir, who is going to want their next King to be with a human and have half human children?" she asked bitterly.
Looking at Charlie and the marriage braid she wore, Thorin couldn't help but agree that things were not always going to be easy for her or their family. For many dwarves, especially some of the much older ones and some of the dwarven Lords it would not be easy for them to accept Charlotte and the fact that she was human. It would be even harder for her with her personality, if they spoke something against her or the children she would not hesitate to speak out against it and there were very few outspoken dwarven women so most of the dwarrow would not respond well. Many, like Charlotte had said, would not like the fact that a human woman would be the next Queen of Erebor and many of the older dwarves will look down on the fact that Fili's heir's were half dwarf. It was going to be very trying period for them all but Thorin knew that Charlotte was going to be good for their family and their people, he had a feeling that the fact that his sister now had someone similar to her with the same stubbornness that there were going to be changes that many people may not like very much.
"It will not be easy but you have myself, Fili, Kili and Dis by your side, you will get through this." Thorin told her sincerely and pulled her close and pressed his forehead to hers before releasing her. "I know it is intimidating, and not what you were expecting to have happen but I can tell from only knowing you but a few days that you will be able to handle anything that may be thrown at you." He stated.
"Thank you." Charlie said to him.
"You are family, it is what we do." He replied.
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_ Author's Note ~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
Wooo, we're getting in the fun stuff and getting closer to getting back to Middle Earth!