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Chapter 1

Misery of the Devil

Kylo Ren was a bad man.

An unworthy man.

A man who'd given into the seduction of darkness and stayed even when truth and light were gifted to him. In the years living in that darkness, he'd found comfort and a truth that soothed his tormented mind. The darkness whispered assurances and promises. It never asked him to be something he was not. It would never break and mold him into something he could never be. It promised truth and power. It whispered answers to the desires of his heart. He did not want or need anything else.

When the light had come to find him in the form of Han Solo, he did not hesitate to destroy the messenger. His father was now a corpse hidden in the depths of Starkiller Base for daring to shake his resolve.

There was nothing to shake.

Ben Solo had died long ago and in his place was Kylo Ren.

He reveled in that darkness, that power.

But as was the way of the force, when Kylo Ren rose to power, a competitor rose with him. He was appalled to find a scrap of a girl meeting him in the heat of battle. His pride was wounded. Surely, he deserved a more fearsome opponent.

As the battle in the forest waged on, she met him toe to toe and strike for strike. The war they waged on each other went on longer than Kylo Ren had anticipated. They fought until he grew frustrated. He had been too hasty in his judgement. A terrible thought blossomed in his mind as he saw those vulnerable hazel eyes.

If she grew to trust him, he wouldn't need to strike her down . If she grew to trust him, the battle would already be won. The honesty in her eyes told the truth, she could never kill someone she cared about. She had waited with bated breath for parents who would never want her back. How much longer would she wait for someone who pledged his love and loyalty?

It wasn't that Kylo Ren had mercy for the girl. It wasn't even that he had grown fearful of losing. He merely wanted to relish the downfall of his opponent. She had meaning on his journey to greatness. It wouldn't do to dispatch of her so easily. No, victory is always so much sweeter when he could take everything from his enemies. How much sweeter would it be when she could not draw her lightsaber against him?

The darkness gave a snarled smile of approval. So he offered to be her teacher in the heat of battle. When she had declined so fiercely and scarred him beyond recognition, he wasn't unfazed. In fact, he smiled in the darkness of the woods as she sped away toward the lights of the Millennium Falcon.

She was exactly what he needed.

He assessed his opponent well. She had crumpled in the hall of mirrors at the truth of her parent's abandonment. She had questioned and defended him against Luke Skywalker. She had sent herself across the galaxy at first chance to save him. Her defeat was well in hand.

In the elevators, her earnest eyes had met his own as she declared his victory over Snoke. Her words stroke his ego like a caress. He hid a smile and with a few words turned her vision against her. Everything was going as he planned.

But as her body floated upward at the command of Snoke, her cries of misery and pain continued to echo in his ears. He found he could not look at her tearful eyes. He hoped Snoke did not break his opponent. He still needed her. Something stirred in his chest as he avoided the eyes that begged him to do something. Anything. He did not, but the feeling thrummed in his chest like a panicked hummingbird. The darkness frowned in dismay.

He found relief at last when she crumpled to the ground. Snoke was done with his prey. The blood pulsed loudly in his ears as she lay unmoving. His master's voice drone on without any meaning until one of her limbs twitched.

Kylo Ren was ashamed to admit that he relished in the death of his master. The girl's death and defeat was promised to him. He would not hesitate to extinguish whomever dared steal that right from him. As Snoke's body lazily slid onto the floor, she looked at him with purpose and suddenly that shame melded into nothingness.

As they moved together in harmony against a common enemy, he was offered a different answer to his torment. Where he had become weak, she had become strong. Where she had failed, he had succeeded. They had become two parts of one moving whole. Their purpose was one and the same. It wasn't until the fighting had stopped and the light of the sabers had been sheathed, that he allowed himself to consider the woman before him.

Clothed in gray and shadowed in death, he found her beautiful. The breaths whistled in his chest as he admired her. A new humming had begun within his chest.

However, looks were deceiving. In the next moment, her sweet voice dripped with light and truth. Placating and persuasive, a perfect counter to the promises the darkness had whispered for years. In answer, he grew angry at this small betrayal.

He shouted in rage. She didn't understand. No one ever did.

He had underestimated her and he would not do it again.

She was what he needed.

The meaning in those words had changed for him. They became vital as the world around him whirled into mist. For once, he did not revel in the chaos.

The projection of Luke Skywalker. The escape of the last of the Resistance fighters. Her decision to leave him behind...again.

Her gaze never left his own as those doors had closed with a haunting finality. Something shattered inside his chest and would not stop weeping. Even now as he stood at the helm of his newly inherited fleet weeks later. The whispers and promises from the darkness could not staunch the longing, the hope.

And that was where he had failed. Her soft spoken words had evoked thoughts and feelings. Her eyes had gleaned with hope, a physical reflection of her side of the bond. She had tugged and pulled down the tether until his chest reverberated in echo. A mere seedling of hope. That was all it took.

He scoffed even as the weeping continued at the memory of her.

Kylo Ren's resolve hardened. He would use this experience to learn. He would no longer bow before anyone. He would no longer be weak.

He did not acknowledge the line of men waiting to speak with him as he turned toward the door. He was late for a meeting.

With heavy steps, he tugged on the bond that bound them together. He did not enter his quarters. Instead, his steps led him into the interrogation room. And there she stood. Despite everything, she had come.

The weeping stopped.

Rey was the first to speak, "Is there a reason you chose this meeting place?"

He waited a heartbeat before answering. "You know that everything I do has a purpose. Let's not waste time."

"What more do we have to say to each other?"

He ignored that, "I've had trackers following the movements of the Millennium Falcon for a week. It's only a matter of time before I stop playing this game with the Resistance."

"Do you not have an ounce of compassion inside you? What of your mother who is aboard the ship?" She said as her eyes hardened.

"Why run from the inevitable?"

She scoffed and he let the silence be answer enough. His gaze trailed away from her face as he let his words sink in. He felt the touch of her gaze moving from his eyes to the set of his mouth. Again and again she followed the trial until something seemed to shift in her stance.

"What is your price for mercy on the Resistance?" She finally breathed.

His eyes swiveled to hers and he tried not to grin. The opening he had been waiting for.

It was easy to escape the notice of his soldiers and pilot a small ship to their agreed location. It was easy to drink in the sight of her waiting form.

No words were said as they walked through the door of the hut together.

The fierceness he had encountered in her before was gone. In its place was a nervous young woman fiddling with the cloth of her top. He waited patiently for her to look at him.

"You may begin when you are ready," he instructed.

Her eyes dimmed into blank resolve as she began to undo the closure of her top. He did the same as he considered the situation. He knew how she would interpret his answer when he had given it. With the heat in his eyes and the tenor of his voice, she could only come to one conclusion.

The darkness relished in this new plan to overcome his enemy. Victory did not always have to be blood and death. Defeat was a feeling, one that she would feel every time she thought of him.

But the bond vibrated angrily in protest. It thrashed and twisted like a desperate animal within his chest. It told him it was wrong, what he had asked of her was wrong.

He ignored it.

The battle waged within him as he allowed the woman before him to whore herself out for the Resistance.

Her fingers had trembled but they had remained purposeful until she stood nude in front of him. He couldn't stop his eyes from widening as inch by inch of smooth tanned skin unveiled itself. She took a tentative step toward him until they were a breath away. Kneeling, she undid the buckle around his waist until until his cock came into view. She gasped at his length as he throbbed and hardened within her hands.

He let out a breath when her fingers brushed against the cockhead. Encircling his shaft, she started to tug until precum leaked from the tip.

"Lick it." He ordered as the precum lengthened like a dew drop.

Holding his gaze, she opened her mouth and flicked her tongue with the barest touch. A cat lapping lazily at a water spout. Each swipe came from a different angle until he had been teased to the limit.

Grasping the hair at the nape of her neck, he directed her mouth onto his shaft. Eyes fluttering, she sucked him into her mouth with soft pulls. He groaned at the sensation. Holding her in place, he allowed her to work him as she wished. A soft lap, a sucking slurp, she pumped him with her mouth until her jaws ached.

A plea in her eyes, her fingers found his at her nape and she tugged her lips away from him. They were both breathing heavy as he drew her up and she continued with her undressing of him. A soft gasp left her lips when the chest she was so familiar with was unveiled. When the last of his clothes were flung away, he draped his naked form against hers. Something sizzled in the air at the contact.

He groaned impatiently and his mouth found hers. She rubbed against him as he devoured her mouth. Tugging and licking, he couldn't stop taking until she pushed away for breath. He licked at the seams of her mouth for another invitation. She turned away in refusal but he found the pulse throbbing at her neck. He tugged with teeth and swirled with tongue. He was ravenous.

He backed her into the wall of the hut. His consuming kisses left a wet trail down her collar bone. He avoided the peaked rosy tips as he found his way toward her mound. Raising her leg over his shoulder, he considered the moist heat inches from his face. His hot breath brushed against the wet folds and she shivered.

She was so wet for the man she was supposed to hate. He smirked at the evidence. Her folds blushed and dripped with honeyed liquid. Using a finger, he slid into her depths until he could reach no more. She clenched around him immediately, a rush of honey coated his palm. Her fingers tangled within his hair as she whimpered above.

Removing his finger, he dove for the weeping cunt. Her clit throbbed against his tongue as he flicked the little bud. She squealed as he suckled her with sharp tugs and slow rolls of his lips. Unknowingly, her hips undulated on his mouth a synchronized rhythm to the way he devoured her. He watched the struggle on her face as she tried to hide her pleasure behind clenched teeth and muffled moans. Her hands were in his hair, tugging at her breasts, and covering the sounds from her mouth.

His hand was still drenched from her juices as he plastered them against a full breast and worked the turgid nipple between thumb and finger. She shattered against him, shuttering.

Removing the leg against this shoulder, he caught her before she fell to the ground. Pulling her toward his chest, he lifted her legs with his other arm and walked toward the bed. Gently, he set her down offering small kisses on any inch of skin he had not laid claim to. Soft but steady he aroused her body again.

He watched the clarity in her dispassionate gaze grow as she realized that the transaction was not over. Their gazes held as he lips left the erect nipple, wet and sensitive from his teasing. His lips found hers again as his hands guided her into a new position. She obeyed, allowing him to arrange her on top. Straddling his legs, she rubbed cautiously against his hard length.

His hips responded, pumping his cock against her wet folds. She jerked at the sensation, shock registering on her features. He continued his slow rocking against her clit and settled his hands on her hips. A restraint. She held herself still trying to ignore the sounds that became wetter as both their hips rocked. A mimic to what would happen soon. He relished in the way her breathing deepened and her eyes grew hooded. But he was only so patient. His hips stilled and her eyes opened in confusion.

"Ride." He directed, letting his hands fall away.

She looked a little lost as he handed her the reigns. Her gaze was conflicted at the crossroads they had come to. It had to be her choice to complete the transaction. He would not use physical force.

Her eyes dimmed as she grabbed his cock and slipped him inside. A muffled groan escaped him as she seated herself fully. He watched those breast quiver as she rotated herself in a slow circle trying to get used to his size. Then, she started to ride.

He gritted his teeth as she worked herself on him. She rocked slowly as if unsure of her movements. She bit her lip when her hips had tugged her too far and his cock rubbed too deeply. Placing her hands on his chest, she lifted herself and pushed back down. A whimper left her. She clenched on him, milking his cock. He grinned at her indecision. No matter how she moved, she couldn't escape how much pleasure he brought her.

He eyed the little pebble beneath her folds, now throbbing with blood again. His thumb found the little pebble and rubbed. She gasped above him, her hips responding on their own. Rocking, pumping, swiveling in circles so his thumb put more pressure on her clit. She moaned as her pussy clenched on him with every flick of his finger. Her hips moved faster until her climax hit, drenching his cock.

He groaned as she milked him. Unleashed, he shifted his hips underneath her and started to move. She gasped pushing against his hips to still him. But he did not. He pumped tugging his cock in and out. Overwhelmed, she stiffened as another climax hit dropping onto his chest. He couldn't stop himself, he came inside of her, spilling hotly. He pumped his hips even after his orgasm had finished trying to lodge himself as deeply as he could inside her.

He kept her against him until her body had gone limp. As she slept, he slowly eased her into his arms and breathed her in.

Her eyes were always defeated as they met again and again. The days rolled into months as the line between winner and loser blurred. Limbs locked and bodies writhing against each other, it was easy to forget the reason for the arrangement. Settled into each other's warmth long after the act of sex, it was easy to pretend that this relationship didn't have strings. But inevitably, those moments always ended.

She always left first and the stink of shame followed her every step out the door. A pang of loneliness always haunted him as he watched her go. It permeated the air as he sat in the darkness reliving the memories of what they had shared. Twined with that loneliness was the guilt of what he had done to the woman he was learning to care for.

With every soft sigh and every trusting touch, it was becoming harder to remember that she was the enemy. What was the elaborate plan to make her pay for betraying him? Why did he need to punish her? He couldn't remember why it mattered. He just wanted to undo all of it and erase the look in her eyes when she saw him for what he had made himself: the villain in her story.

He couldn't see her face this time as she laid her head against him. Sweat dripped from her brow onto his chest. The coolness a contrast to the warmth of his skin. She was quiet but her nipples peaked against his side in temptation. He closed his eyes trying to remember this moment before she left today. The scent of sex that permeated the sheets and their skin. The wet trail on his thighs and juices still drying on his cock. Today had been slow and languid. The first time she had been playful, wanting to explore more of him. She had brought him to the edge over and over again before he had stopped the play by flipping her onto her stomach and plunging his cock deep into her. He could still remember her pleasurable cries and that special way she would keen when he swirled his hips against her.

Her head shifted against him, a small tongue lapping at his nipple. He stiffened, surprised she wanted more. Delaying the inevitable.

Her tongue continued to play against his hardening nipple as another part of him lengthened. Her hands were eager, tugging on the length until he throbbed impatiently. He shifted, placing her below him as he addressed her neglected breasts. Arching her chest, she offered him everything he wanted. He ran his teeth against the turgid edge and offered a soothing lick when she whimpered in discomfort. Suckling steadily, he tugged on each nipple until she became restless beneath him.

"Please, I need it." Rey murmured, finding Kylo's lips.

He obeyed, dragging his cock through her still drenched folds. He couldn't help himself, he plunged his fingers into their mixed juices and rubbed her favorite spot. She gasped against his lips but rocked her hips until she spasmed against his hand.

Rey pulled away to catch her breath and he nuzzled her jaw with light sucking kisses. He grinned against the marks of ownership that dotted her neck and shoulders. He slid into her sensitive flesh and they both groaned at the joining.

Raising himself up, he rocked against her and enjoyed the way her breasts swayed with the movement. He especially enjoyed the view of him plunging repeatedly into her little cunt. Only he felt the tender way it squeezed and sucked at his cock. He groaned again as he saw the bliss reflected on her face.

Her attention shifted to the glistening fingers at his side. She pulled his hand into her mouth, her gaze unwavering. He moaned at the erotic picture in front of him. She licked their juices off of his hands while he fed his cock into her wanting pussy. He couldn't take it anymore and placed her legs into the crook of his arms deepening his thrusts. She gasped at how deeply he penetrated her. Her favorite position.

"Oh, Kylo, don't stop," Rey whimpered placing her hands on his chest.

He pumped against her with hard, rough thrusts. Grunting with every movement, he pounded into her until the only sound in the room was her cries and the wetness between their thighs. She started to keen against the broad expanse of his shoulder as he swiveled his hips, embedding himself as deep possible. Her body stiffened

"Come. I love the way you milk my cock." He ordered against her ear.

She obeyed, quivering and drenching him with her juices.

She lazed in his arms as long as she could after two more orgasms. When the time came to leave, she did not hesitate to take the pills he always brought to the hut. She did not look back when she left. He was the only one who had regrets. But it didn't matter. He would take anything that she would give him. Her body in exchange for a few less lonely nights, a few stolen moments within her presence. Kylo dare not ask her for more.

The air was tense this time as they lay in each others arms. She had long stopped telling herself she was protecting the Resistance, that she was forced to come here. He had stopped telling himself that this arrangement was part of some elaborate plan to hurt her, that their meetings meant nothing to him. This wasn't a battleground anymore. It was a lover's hideout.

His hands were smoothing through a tangled curl when he felt her start pulling away. He let her go.

Her fingers were deft as she dressed not meeting his searching gaze. When she was done, she did not move from her perch on the chair, her eyes on the shoes by her feet.

"I can't see you anymore, " She finally said after long moments.

"Does the life of the Resistance seem so little to you?" He countered.

"Kylo," She scolded turning toward him.

Stubborn eyes met stubborn eyes.

"I know you will not harm the Resistance when I walk out of this room for the final time." Her eyes softened first. "You don't want to hurt me anymore."

"That doesn't mean I won't do whatever it takes to keep you with me." He countered, sitting up.

"Yet you won't ask for anything more," she accused.

He kept silent.

"You only need to ask. You know that I will say yes." She prompted again, her eyes hopeful.

She let out a defeated breath at the answer in his gaze. Her eyes were glossy as she picked up the heavy boot. Before they knew it, he had knelt in front of her and pulled her chin forward.

"I can't take anything more from you." He breathed at last.

"It's not taking if I give it to you." Her voice broke as the tear finally slipped down her cheek.

He shook his head. He'd already taken too much. She just didn't know it. She hadn't known the depth and depravity of his plan. He pulled her in for a final kiss.

The words were familiar and had been passed between the two of them before. It was a conversation that had happened too often and the results were the same. They were on two separate mountains screaming into the void. No matter what they each said, they just couldn't seem to hear the meaning behind the words. No matter that the force had bound them together through that void.

The words pulse inside his chest, the heaviest weight. Just a few words, maybe a silent request.

I love you.

However, his lips did not move. He remained still despite the chaos in his veins begging her to stay. The silence was deafening as he watched her walk out of the door one last time. She did not look back.

Kylo Ren was a bad man.

An unworthy man.

Author's Note: Thank you for everyone who stuck around for this tragic story. Sorry for the pain and tears but I just had to get it out of my mind and move on with my life. Blame Jaymes Young for his beautiful and angsty songs "Moondust" and "I'll be good". For me, the Reylo ship has never been a particularly happy ship and this story is one of the bitter outcomes I've always pictured for them. So again, thank you for reading and I'll be eating my feels right along with ya'll.